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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29654817">champagne problems</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprxntisstrials/pseuds/theprxntisstrials'>theprxntisstrials</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Love Triangles, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:55:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>148,471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29654817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprxntisstrials/pseuds/theprxntisstrials</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily Prentiss, new to the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, finds herself in some troubled waters. A cross road of two completely different people. One being her boss, the other being her best friend. A story full of happiness, sadness and clustered thoughts. She only gets one choice, but split between two people makes it impossible for her to choose. </p><p>Team Hotchniss or Team Jemily?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Hotchner &amp; Jack Hotchner, Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Andrew Mendoza/Emily Prentiss, Beth Clemmons/Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan/Emily Prentiss, Emily Prentiss/David Rossi, Emily Prentiss/Spencer Reid, Ian Doyle/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau &amp; Henry LaMontagne, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It's finally here! I've had this idea for this story ever since I heard champagne problems by Taylor Swift. I've been a hug fan since her country days and I'm waiting for her new album, stay tuned for that. I'm so excited to actually release this first chapter🤍 </p><p>Disclaimer! This story will be focused around the characters themselves and very little, if not none, to do with cases! So if there are details that don't belong if they're on a case, I'm sorry and I'll fix them but my main priority isn't the cases themselves (:</p><p>Buckle up and get ready for a ride full of tears, sweetness, Hotchniss and Jemily!</p><p>happy readings! stay safe besites! - salem🤍</p><p>TW: none<br/>Word Count: 3179</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily: "I'll tell you a secret. Old storytellers never die. They disappear into their own story." Author Vera Nazarian.</p><p>Emily Prentiss was the last member to join the BAU team. The team welcomed her warmly. Well, almost. Hotch was still on the fence about her. After she mysteriously joined the BAU after Elle left, he didn't necessarily trust her.</p><p>However, JJ and Garcia were two people that welcomed her warmly. The two made Emily feel like a family member instead of being shunned away for being at the right place at the wrong time. Emily didn't worry. She was used to men talking her down all of her life. She knew Hotch would come around eventually.</p><p>The raven-haired woman took comfort in JJ. The two instantly became close. It was evident to everyone on the team that she was most comfortable around the blonde woman. Although Emily would never admit it, she had a small crush on the blonde woman. Emily loved women, always has, always will. But there was just something about JJ that sat right with her. She had a beautiful smile, smelled nice, and would pour her a cup of coffee when she saw Emily being sluggish. What was there not to like about JJ?</p><p>JJ, on the other hand, felt the same way. JJ had always struggled with her sexuality, but now, she was learning to embrace it. Even though she wasn't entirely out yet, Emily was shy, but everyone could see her open up with JJ in the room with her.</p><p>Now it was just a matter of when the two would only be open about it.</p><p>JJ walked into the bullpen and saw the raven-haired woman being buried in paperwork. She smiled to herself as she walked up the stairs to Hotch's office. She knocked on the door and walked in.</p><p>"Hey, you wanted to see me?" JJ asked and tilted her head to the side. Hotch looked up from the file and nodded.</p><p>"Have you been able to talk to Agent Prentiss?" Hotch asked and peeked over to the window and saw the agent in her own world. JJ furrowed her eyebrows as she followed his line of sight.</p><p>"Like about work? Or just getting to know her?" JJ asked and crossed her arms. Hotch rubbed his fingers together and clenched his jaw. He didn't say anything but just nodded.</p><p>"Both," he said simply.</p><p>"She's a really nice person if you get to know her, Hotch," JJ said and bit her lip. She took a seat right in front of him. "Look, I know it's fishy how she came in her suddenly. But she's trying her hardest to prove herself to you. She wants to make you happy."</p><p>"I can see that, but it's just not a coincidence, the way she showed up," Hotch said and moved his line of sight down to the files in front of him. "I just want you to keep an eye on her for me."</p><p>"Hotch," JJ said softly.</p><p>"That's an order," Hotch said simply. "Until I trust her."</p><p>"Okay," JJ said and pursed her lips. She tapped her fingers against the arms of the chair before getting up and walking out. Emily looked up and smiled sweetly at JJ.</p><p>"Hey, you okay?" Emily asked and reached a hand out for JJ. That was a thing she and Emily did. They were comforting the other through touch. It was their love language that the two understood perfectly. JJ smiled back at her.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine," she said and tried to brush it off. But Emily knew something was off.</p><p>"Why don't you and I go get some lunch today? My treat if you like," Emily asked and put both her hands in her pockets. JJ looked over her body language. Emily was nervous. The younger woman nodded and placed her hand on her shoulder.</p><p>"As long as you pick," JJ said as she walked off. Emily's eyes followed her. The woman was captivating to keep her attention until she walked out of the bullpen area. Emily sighed softly before turning back around to her desk. She felt someone's eyes on her. She looked in the direction and saw Hotch staring at her through his office window. He looked away as he and Emily locked eyes.</p><p>The raven-haired woman sat back down at her desk and got lost in her paperwork. JJ found herself back in her office and doing the same, except she wasn't entirely in it like Emily. The blonde woman's attention was only on one thing. Her unofficial date with Emily Prentiss. JJ pursed her lips before getting up and walking over to Penelope's office. She knocked twice.</p><p>"Enter at your own will!" Garcia yelled from the other side of the door. JJ walked in and sighed heavily. Penelope looked over and saw the blonde woman in a mood. "Sugar, what's up?"</p><p>"I need some advice, and as my best friend in the whole entire world, I need you to keep your mouth shut about this, okay?" JJ said with a smile. She sat down in the chair next to Penelope. "I like someone, and I don't know how to feel about it."</p><p>"Who?" Penelope asked and leaned forward. JJ took a deep breath and open and closed her mouth a few times.</p><p>"Emily," JJ said softly. But Penelope heard it loud and clear. The younger woman chuckled.</p><p>"Emily? Like the Emily that you've been hanging around twenty-four seven? And that I had my suspicions the two of you liked each other? That Emily?" Penelope asked. JJ furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"You knew?"</p><p>"Hey, your job isn't the only one with the need to profile," Penelope said and chuckled. "And I see it. You'd be cute together. And I totally see that she's into you. It's written in her smile."</p><p>"She does have a nice smile," JJ said mindlessly. "But that wasn't what I wanted to tell you. She asked me to lunch. Like a lunch without anyone else. For the past month that she's been on the team, this is the first time she and I are going to lunch by ourselves. I'm nervous about it."</p><p>"Oh my God, it's happening," Garcia said and smiled. "When you guys get married, can I be your maid of honor?"</p><p>"Woah, slow down, Pen," JJ chuckled and stuck her hand out and grabbed onto the other woman's arm. "It's just a lunch."</p><p>"I'll tell you that when you two are madly in love and all mushy gushy about it," Penelope said and chuckled. The two were about to continue their conversation, but there was a knock on the door. Emily walked in and smiled.</p><p>"Hey, sorry to interrupt. Garcia, I need you to pull up an old file from the Riley Evans case for me? Also, Hotch said he needed to see you," Emily said and leaned over and saw Garcia typing the name of the case. The two women traded places. Once Emily turned her back, Penelope mouthed the words 'talk to her now!' to JJ before leaving.</p><p>"So, where did you want to go for lunch?" JJ asked and crossed her legs. The older woman looked over and had to actually refrain herself from looking at JJ's exposed leg.</p><p>"Um, there's a good sushi restaurant down the road. They have a buffet of different sushi rolls. Or there's that new diner down on K street? It's really up to you, JJ," Emily said and clicked through the files that came up on the computer. JJ was admiring her side profile. Emily was practically sculpted from hand. The way her nose curved and the perfect jawline. "JJ?"</p><p>"Yeah, sorry, um, sushi sounds amazing," JJ said and blushed lightly as she realized Emily caught her staring. The woman's lips separated barely to see her teeth. Emily's eyes wandered all over her face. There was something definitely going on with JJ. Emily just couldn't put her finger on it.</p><p>"Are you sure you're okay?" Emily asked and placed her hand on JJ's knee. "If there's a problem, I hope you know you can come and talk to me about it. My ears are always open for you if you need to talk."</p><p>JJ sighed softly and placed her hand on top of Emily's. The two lock eyes as JJ smiled softly. "I know. And appreciate that, Em."</p><p>"But?"</p><p>"There's no but. I just need you to know that," JJ said and stroked her thumb over Emily's hand. The two sat in the comfortable silence until the door opened. JJ and Emily pulled away as Garcia and Hotch walked in. JJ stood up and patted Emily's back. "Just come get me when you're ready to take your lunch."</p><p>Hotch furrowed his eyebrows as JJ looked directly at him as she walked out. Emily watched her and then looked over at Hotch. The woman had a feeling about what was going on. She thanked Garcia for using the computer and walked out of the office. Hotch's eyes following her as she did.</p><p>He looked down at the floor and clenched his jaw before looking back over at Garcia. She was looking at him for his next move. The man nodded, and the two walked to the computer.</p><p>"What's up with you?" Morgan asked Prentiss as she walked into the bullpen. The woman looked up at him and bit her lip.</p><p>"Have you been hearing criticism about me since I've been on the team?" Emily asked and didn't even look up at him. Morgan raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"We all had criticism when we joined, Emily. It's apart of the inauguration," Derek said and lowered his head to meet her eye. Prentiss shook her head.</p><p>"It's not like this," Emily said and sighed softly. "I don't know. Maybe it's just the fact that I feel like nobody wants me here."</p><p>"I want you here. If you need to remember anything, remember that," Derek said and smiled softly at Emily. "You're a member of this team, whether you want to see it like that or not. We're a team. Plus, you have JJ and Garcia who think the same thing."</p><p>"Three down," Emily joked, and Derek chuckled. "So uh, I'm probably going to take an early lunch. JJ and I are going to this sushi restaurant down the road. You'd want anything?"</p><p>"No, sweetheart, I'm okay. I'm more of a cooked meat man," Derek said and patted the desk. Emily chuckled and grabbed the case files. She looked over at the clock and saw she had about twenty minutes until she could go to lunch.</p><p>Emily decided to keep to herself until it was time. She was excited to go to lunch with JJ. The older woman found herself thinking about her. She did her best to continue on with her paperwork in front of her.</p><p>Hotch walked in and saw Prentiss working and entirely focused. There was just something about her that he didn't know, but he had a feeling. It was like she wasn't truthful. He sighed before walking up to his office. The woman felt him watching over her and turned her head when she heard the footsteps going up the stairs.</p><p>Emily brushed it off and continued with her paperwork. She finally set down the pen and looked over at the clock. She smiled as she saw it was time.</p><p>"Alright, I'm out. Are you sure you don't want anything? Not even a drink?" Emily asked as Derek typed down on the computer.</p><p>"I'm all good. You and JJ have a good time," Derek said and smiled at Emily. She said her goodbyes before walking out of the bullpen. She walked down and to JJ's office. She knocked twice before entering. JJ looked up from her paperwork and smiled.</p><p>"Hey, you ready to go? I'll drive," Emily said and smiled widely. JJ looked around and grabbed her purse.</p><p>"Thanks again. You just saved me from a stack of papers that I did not want to get into," JJ said and chuckled softly as Emily closed the office door after JJ got out. The two chatted mindlessly as they left the FBI headquarters and down to the restaurant.</p><p>"So I have to ask," Emily said as the two sat down at the booth. Both had a plate full of sushi right in front of them. "And I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way."</p><p>"Emily, whatever is on your mind, it's okay," JJ said and placed her hand on top of the older woman's. Emily bit her lip and sighed softly.</p><p>"Is Hotch asking you to keep an eye out for me?" Emily asked. JJ shook her head and dropped her eyes down to the table. That was JJ's tell. The younger woman grabbed her chopsticks and picked up a piece of the sushi. "Or is he asking you to watch me?"</p><p>"He asked me to keep an eye on you," JJ said and licked her lips. Emily sat back into her chair and sighed. She was right. She grabbed her chopsticks and shoved a piece of sushi into her mouth. "But it's only because he wants you to get comfortable and get used to the BAU."</p><p>"It's kinda hard to do that when he's watching over me like a hawk, don't you think?" Emily commented and shook her head. Emily popped another piece of sushi in her mouth. "Is it because he doesn't trust me? Is that it? Or does he not like me because of my mother? Or what? What is it?"</p><p>"He wants to trust you. Just give him time, Em," JJ said and grabbed onto her hand. "Trust me on this."</p><p>"What are you going to tell him?" Emily asked as the two continued to dig into their lunch. Her eyes were meeting JJ's. They were full of reassurance.</p><p>"The same thing I told him when he asked me to look after you. That you're a really nice person when someone gets to know you," JJ said and smiled widely as Emily's eyes lit up. The two women didn't say anything until the waitress came and asked if the two were okay.</p><p>Emily felt safe with the blonde woman's presence here. The two continued their lunch and small talk. Both feeling like five minutes had passed by when their lunch came to an end. It was refreshing having someone to take your mind off of work. And to the other, both women did just that. It was like a sigh of relief, a breath of fresh air when the two were swept away from the group. Everything felt right.</p><p>The two made their way back to the office and laughed as they exited the elevators. Garcia saw them walking out and practically threw herself to the wall, not to be seen. She watched as Emily shyly walked JJ to her office door and leaned against the frame as the two said their goodbyes. Penelope had never seen JJ like this. It was like watching a school girl talk to her crush for the first time. It was endearing, to say the least. Emily made JJ laugh one more time before turning and waving goodbye. Penelope sprang into action and walked like she wasn't watching the two women.</p><p>"Hey, Emily. How was lunch?" Penelope asked as subtle as she could. The raven-haired woman smiled softly.</p><p>"It was great. I'm always in a better mood after some spicy tuna. Plus, JJ is a good company," Emily said with a more significant smile cracking on her face at the mention of the blonde woman.</p><p>"The two of you are hitting it off well, huh?" Penelope asked and tried her hardest to compress the smile she felt creeping up on her face.</p><p>"Yeah, she's...amazing," Emily said softly and looked down at the floor. "Well, if you need me, I'll be in the bullpen tackling my files."</p><p>Penelope nodded as Emily walked off. The blonde woman tried her hardest to run in her heels to JJ's office. She didn't even bother to knock and just stormed in. JJ didn't even flinch as she flipped up a paper in her hand.</p><p>"So I just saw a little birdy in the hallway," Penelope sang out and smiled widely. JJ grabbed a pen and hummed.</p><p>"Was it looking for Snow White?" JJ asked and scribbled down her signature. Penelope rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Maybe you shouldn't go to lunch with Emily. You're starting to sound like her," Penelope said and placed her hand on top of the paper JJ was reading.</p><p>"Pen, I love you, but I really have to-"</p><p>"So you don't wanna hear about how Emily called you good company, and I quote 'amazing' when I asked her how lunch went?" Penelope asked. That surely caught JJ's attention. The liaison stuffed the paper into the file and closed it before gesturing to the chair in front of her.</p><p>"Sit," JJ said and leaned forward.</p><p>"She blushed when she was talking about you, JJ. You should go for it!" Penelope said and grabbed onto JJ's hands. "She's nice, she's funny, she thinks very highly of you. And you don't have to worry about the family initiation since she's already in the family."</p><p>"I don't know, Pen. I don't want to make things awkward for the team if we don't work out," JJ said and shook her head. "That's the only reason that's stopping me."</p><p>"You can't think about the one bad thing that would happen when there's so much good to balance it out," Penelope said and pursed her lips together. "Besides, I think you two would be endgame."</p><p>"Endgame?"</p><p>"Like you end up together? Do you people know nothing about internet lingo?" Garcia asked and shook her head. JJ furrowed her eyebrows. "I'll leave you to it. Just think about it."</p><p>Garcia patted JJ's hand before getting up and walked out of the office without another word. JJ sat back at her desk and sighed. Her anxious thoughts took over about a certain raven-haired woman.</p><p>JJ: "Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen." Sylvia Plath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ironically enough, i wrote this chapter and then started to feel sick afterwards. enjoy some fluffy Jemily (:</p><p>happy readings! stay safe besties! -salem 🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing<br/>Word count: 3214</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ: "To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength." Criss Jami. </p><p>JJ walked into the BAU with a raging headache and the need to sleep for the next four years straight. Her entire body ached as she got up. And the heat on her cheeks and neck area only confirmed her suspicions.</p><p>She was sick. And this is bad because Jennifer Jareau couldn't and wouldn't accept that she is sick. She's only human, but JJ still got out of bed and threw on some makeup and grabbed a coffee and a sports drink, and came to work.</p><p>JJ quickly ran to her office and locked the door, so nobody would come in chasing after her. She sighed as her body began to fight the rising temperature from within her. She grabbed a sweater she kept in her office and threw it on, and sat down at her desk.</p><p>It was a couple of hours, and seemingly, JJ was going under the radar without any detection. But then she ran out of coffee.</p><p>There was a split moment in time that JJ considered ordering coffee off of one of those online food services, but her pride and wallet got in the way. She stood up and grabbed her mug before walking out of her office and into the bullpen. Again, all was going well.</p><p>"JJ?" Emily called out and tilted her head as the woman finally turned around. She took one good look at JJ and knew something was wrong.</p><p>"Oh hi, good morning," JJ said softly, trying to hide the congestion in her voice. Emily raised em eyebrow.</p><p>"Good afternoon, actually. You doing okay? I haven't seen you all morning. You're looking a little pale," Emily said and was about to put her hand on JJ's forehead, but the woman backed away and just grabbed her hand with a sweet smile. Emily's eyebrows went up as JJ tried to walk past the woman. "You're feeling sick."</p><p>"I'm not sick. I'm just cold and wanted coffee," JJ said and grumbled as Emily rolled her eyes. The older woman's hand wrapped around her back and pulled her in for a side hug. And just as JJ relaxed and nuzzled her face into Emily's neck, the older woman's hand touched her quite literally burning forehead. "Hey! That's not fair!"</p><p>"JJ, you're burning up," Emily said and grabbed the coffee from the woman and dumped it out. JJ's eyebrows furrowed. "I'm taking you home."</p><p>"What? No. I can't just go home," JJ said and crossed her arms. "I'm perfectly fine."</p><p>JJ said that as best as she could while trying to ignore the raging headache on the side of her temples. Emily shook her head. "Morgan, grab my stuff. I'm taking JJ home."</p><p>"No, Morgan. Sit down," JJ said and looked over at the man who looked fearful between the two women.</p><p>"What's going on with you two?" he said and stayed perfectly still.</p><p>"JJ is sick, and she needs to go home. Now can you grab me my things," Emily said as she wrapped her arm around JJ's waist and pulled the woman beside her, and walked with her a few steps. Derek got up and immediately sat down as JJ squinted her eyes at him. "Derek!"</p><p>"She's going to break my arm if I do!" Morgan shouted back and put his hands up in defense. Hotch looked over when he heard the commotion. He walked out of his office.</p><p>"What's going on?" Hotch asked and looked between the three of them.</p><p>"They're fighting!" Derek shouted.</p><p>"JJ is sick!" Emily yelled.</p><p>"Don't listen to Emily!" JJ said.</p><p>Hotch raised an eyebrow as he walked down the stairs. He walked right up to JJ, and she looked terrible, to say the least. He pursed his lips. "You're going home. Emily is taking you. The two of you take the rest of the day off. JJ, I don't want to see you at the office until you're feeling well."</p><p>Hotch walked over to Emily's desk and grabbed her purse, jacket, to-go bag, and coffee mug.</p><p>"Hotch I'm-"</p><p>He shot her a look, and she immediately shut up and held onto Emily. The raven-haired woman was holding back her laughter.</p><p>"Morgan, can you help me with JJ's stuff?" Hotch asked as the two women, and himself walked out of the bullpen area. Morgan ran over to JJ's office, grabbed her purse and to-go bag, and turned off all the lights. He walked out of the office and pushed the elevator button for the four of them. They all walked in and rode the elevator down the garage floor—Derek scavenging for JJ's keys in her huge purse.</p><p>"How much stuff do you keep in here?" Derek asked and rattled her bag, the sound of keys being heard, but Morgan saw nothing. JJ chuckled as Emily grabbed the bag from him and got the keys from her side pocket. Hotch was holding back his laughter, and Derek threw his hands up in surrender. Hotch placed all of the women's things in the backseat as Emily helped JJ into the passenger seat.</p><p>"Take care of her, please. If anything, and she's still equally as bad, take tomorrow off to take care of her," Hotch said as Emily shut the door. He handed her the coffee mug from her desk. She nodded.</p><p>"Of course, I'll see you guys later," Emily said and bid her goodbyes. Hotch and Derek walked back to the elevators.</p><p>"You seriously didn't check the side pocket?" Hotch asked and pushed the up button. Derek rolled his eyes.</p><p>"She had four tampons, two pairs of sunglasses, enough random letters and mail that I get in two weeks, three packs of gum, one of which was completely empty, and a half-eaten snickers bar. I was a little occupied," Derek said and shook his head as Hotch laughed. He knew better than to try and look through a woman's purse. But if he knew a thing or two, always check the side pocket.</p><p>Emily looked over at JJ as she drove the woman to her apartment. The blonde woman was in and out of sleep. Emily smiled softly at the sight of JJ getting comfortable. She placed her hand on the gear shift and kept her eyes on the road when she felt a hand take hers and put it right on her leg. Emily smiled as JJ held her hand on Emily's. The radio playing softly in the background and Emily's thumb stroking over her leg is what set JJ to sleep.</p><p>Emily had pulled up to the apartment complex and sighed. She didn't want to wake JJ up. Emily got into her parking space and parked the car before turning it off. She sat there for a couple of seconds, contemplating whether or not just to carry JJ up. She wasn't heavy. Emily could manage. Just as she was about to get out of the car, baby blue eyes had opened and met Emily's soft brown ones.</p><p>"Are we home?" JJ asked softly, and Emily smiled as she nodded. JJ sighed and rubbed her eyes.</p><p>"Are you okay to stand? I can carry you if you can't," Emily said and looked all over JJ's face and body language. She was weak but not that weak.</p><p>"Can I just lean on you?" JJ asked, and Emily smiled softly.</p><p>"Of course. Let me just get our stuff, and I'll be right there," Emily said and unbuckled her seat belt, and got out of the car. She swung both their bags over her shoulders and nuzzled her jacket through the purses. Emily walked around and opened the car door for JJ. The blonde woman getting out and holding onto Emily's arm. The older woman grabbed the coffee and then shut the door.</p><p>Emily grabbed on tightly to JJ and walked her into the apartment complex and into the elevator. JJ nuzzled her head into Emily's neck as they rode the elevator. Emily rubbed her back soothingly before the doors opened. She walked the younger woman to her apartment and opened the door. She had never been to JJ's apartment before. Usually, girls' nights took place at Penelope's since it was the closest to O'Keefe's.</p><p>Emily looked around. Everything was very white and bright. JJ was a relatively clean person and if shined through in her apartment. Accents of gray-washed wood was around the apartment.</p><p>"Don't mind the mess. I didn't know I'd have company," JJ said and took off her gun from her belt and placed it in the drawer by the entrance.</p><p>"Mess? It looks like nobody lives in here, JJ," Emily said and chuckled. JJ smiled and shook her head. She'd laugh, but her throat was too sore for that. "Let's get you to bed."</p><p>JJ walked into her bedroom with Emily following close behind her just in case she couldn't keep her balance. The raven-haired woman guided JJ to the bed and knelt down, taking off the woman's shoes. JJ blushed slightly as Emily took them off. The woman was a hard ass to other people, but JJ saw this side of Emily. The side that looked so worried that touching her might break her and taking off her shoes when she wasn't well enough to do it herself.</p><p>"You don't have to stay, Em," JJ said and chuckled. Emily raised her eyebrows as she looked up at the woman.</p><p>"That couch out there is going to be my best friend until you're feeling better. Besides, I have my to-go bag, and I know how to work a washer, so I'm fine," Emily said and stood up. JJ smiled up at her. "Now, do you want a big t-shirt and shorts? Or something else comfortable?"</p><p>"I want my large Georgetown shirt with a pair of shorts," JJ said and unbuckled her belt. Emily turned and mumbled what JJ said to herself. She walked into JJ's closet and saw the t-shirt folded up and grabbed it, followed by a pair of shorts in one of her drawers. Emily walked out and handed the woman her clothes. JJ thanked her quietly before unbuttoning her blouse. Emily turned and pursed her lips.</p><p>"I'm going to run down to the car to get out to-go bags," Emily said and was about to walk out of the room when JJ called out for her.</p><p>"Can you help me first? My body is too weak to reach behind me," JJ said. Emily's jaw dropped. Get it together, Prentiss. She turned back around, and JJ was now sitting with her work shirt undone, a baby blue bra underneath showing.</p><p>"Of course," Emily said and smiled. She walked around behind JJ and took off her shirt. The older woman was trying to hide her blush as JJ looked over her shoulder and thanked her. Her hand came up and unclasped her bra and slipped it off of JJ's shoulders. Emily averted her attention to anywhere else as she helped JJ slip her T-shirt over her head. That was round one. JJ got on her feet and tried to undo the buttons on her pants. Emily chuckled as JJ struggled to undo it. "Let me help."</p><p>Emily undid the button and pulled down the zipper. It was JJ's turn to blush now. Emily pulled her pants down her legs, making sure not to tug in case she tripped JJ. She carefully guided JJ to step out of the pants, one leg out and then the other. Emily's attention tried desperately to be anywhere besides the sight in front of her. A baby blue set. Emily helped her put on her shorts, and JJ finished pulling them up. Emily stood up, and JJ noticed the adorable hint of red across her cheeks.</p><p>"Any redder, and I might have mistaken you for a tomato, Prentiss," JJ said and chuckled. Emily guided her to the bed.</p><p>"You got jokes now?" Emily asked and raised an eyebrow. JJ smiled as she settled into bed.</p><p>"I'm sick. That didn't take my humor away," JJ said and smiled to herself.</p><p>"Okay, well, I'm going to be downstairs getting the rest of our things and maybe head to the store. Get some sleep," Emily said and patted JJ's leg. The blonde woman watching her as she walked out of the room, her eyes slowly closing as she heard Emily leave the apartment.</p><p>Hours had passed, and Emily found herself channel surfing as she waited for JJ to wake up. The woman had been out for about three hours already. She needed her sleep. Emily felt her phone buzzing and picked it up.</p><p>"Go for Prentiss," Emily said and muted the television.</p><p>"Hey, I'm checking in. How is she?" Hotch asked as he filled out the mountain of paperwork beside him.</p><p>"A little feisty," Emily said, making Hotch chuckle.</p><p>"Did you expect anything less?" Hotch asked and shook his head. Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"But she's been asleep this entire time. I made sure to run down to the nearest store and get her some energy drinks, soup, crackers, and medicine. But I'm just waiting for her to wake up, and I'll keep you posted," Emily said. Hotch nodded.</p><p>"Alright, just let me know," Hotch said and hung up the phone. Emily sighed as she continued her channel surfing.</p><p>Meanwhile, JJ woke up sweating. She sat up and needed something to drink. Her throat was painfully dry. She got up and opened the door and saw Emily sitting there channel surfing. She paused and landed on a Rom-Com.</p><p>"Didn't pin you for a Rom-Com woman either," JJ said and smiled. Emily turned off the TV and got up, walking over to the woman.</p><p>"You feeling okay?" Emily asked and reached a hand out for JJ. The blonde woman took it and shivered. Emily's hands were cold and comforting. The blonde woman pulled her into a hug. Emily was taken back but just wrapped her arms around the woman. "JJ?"</p><p>"Yeah, just hot, and you're cold," JJ said and smiled against her skin. Emily looked down at the woman and tilted her head. "Plus, I wanted water, but warmth is more important right now."</p><p>Emily chuckled. "Well, I got you a variety of different sports drinks. I didn't know which one you liked."</p><p>"Blue is always the best one," JJ said and pulled Emily to walk with her to the kitchen and get it.</p><p>"I also did some reading on the types of medicines you have to take, but you do have to eat. I can make you some soup that I bought?" Emily asked and looked down at JJ, who was struggling to open the sports drink. Emily grabbed it and opened it before handing it to her.</p><p>"I don't want medicine," JJ said and groaned. Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Well, then I guess you and I are stuck here for a week because, without it, you're not going back to work," Emily said and grabbed the bottles of medicine.</p><p>"Fine," JJ mumbled. Emily pulled away and sat JJ down at the counter. JJ watched her as she made chicken soup for the sick woman. It was endearing. Emily was cute when she was taking care of someone. Emily turned back and smiled shyly at the woman watching her. It didn't take long for the soup to warm up and Emily to serve JJ. The blonde woman was humming at the warmth of it. She managed to be hot and cold at the same time, so she was confused about that. Emily chuckled as JJ took a couple of spoon fulls of soup. This then turned to the whole bowl.</p><p>The older woman grabbed the bottle of pills and handed her one for the congestion. She grabbed a spoon and poured some of the liquid cough medicine on it before giving it to JJ. The woman groaning at the taste.</p><p>"That's fucking disgusting. Cherry doesn't taste like that," JJ said and stuck her tongue out, trying not to gag. Emily laughed at the woman's state. The blonde woman flipping her off for laughing. "I'm going back to bed. Can you come help me?"</p><p>"Of course," Emily said and walked around to the woman. "Are you okay? Do you feel dizzy? I can carry you if you need me to."</p><p>"I'm fine, Em. I need help with something else," JJ said and pulled the woman into her bedroom before heading to her closet. She looked up towards a container. "Can you get that down for me? It has my winter blankets in it, so I put them away thinking I wouldn't need them."</p><p>Emily had to restrain her laughter as JJ pursed her lips and stared up at the container. Emily reached up and got it down. "Go lay down."</p><p>"But I need my-"</p><p>"Jennifer, go lay down," Emily said sternly. JJ blushed slightly. Emily never used her full name. The younger woman listened and laid down. She had the comforter and a throw blanket over her and was still cold. Emily walked up to her and smiled as she tossed the blanket over JJ and made a show of tucking her in. JJ is not saying anything and enjoying the feeling of being wrapped in a cocoon. Three blankets, and JJ was still freezing. "You're still cold?"</p><p>"You're not?" JJ asked and shivered. Emily sighed before an idea popped into her head. She walked around to the other side and out of JJ's peripheral vision. Emily grabbed the remote for the television and turned it on before climbing into bed with the younger woman. She laid back directly behind JJ and snaked her arms around her. JJ looked back. "What are you doing? You're going to get sick. My germs are everywhere."</p><p>"So I get sick," Emily said and turned on the channel she was watching in the living room. JJ blushed slightly as Emily pulled her impossibly closer. "Get some rest."</p><p>JJ nodded and got comfortable in the woman's arms. Emily's heart rate picking up as JJ turned around and settled her head right on Emily's shoulder. The older woman being taken back by this but slowly eased into resting her hands on JJ. One hand going to her back, and the other stroked JJ's arms. Emily sighed softly. This was a feeling she could get used to. And without thinking twice, she placed a sweet kiss on the blonde woman's forehead. JJ, who was pretending to be fast asleep, felt the gesture and smiled.</p><p>Emily: "One of the deep secrets in life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others." Lewis Carroll.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>they're so cute, my heart. this book is defintely turning into a slow burn but we'll see how that goes. i've never written one before so let's see! please let me know what you guys think about this chapter, i would love to hear it (:</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was going to wait until tomorrow to update but I couldn't wait! So enjoy this second update😌</p><p>Happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: none, just a sneak peek of Auntie Emily<br/>Word count: 3292</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Derek: "If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that." Author Unknown. </p><p>Emily walked into the BAU with a smile on her face. Earlier in the morning, she had decided she wanted today to be a good day. Specifically, she treated herself to a coffee for herself and a particular blonde agent. She walked over to JJ's office and saw her busy with work already. She did miss a couple of days of work for being sick, so it didn't come as a surprise that the woman dove back into work. Emily bit her lip as she knocked on the door.</p><p>"Come in!" JJ shouted before looking up and seeing Emily there. She smiled widely at the woman. "Hey, good morning, Em."</p><p>"Good morning JJ, I knew you'd probably be stuck with work already, so I figured a little treat could hopefully make it a little better," Emily said and handed her the coffee. She had memorized JJ's coffee order. It was a small gesture the two did with each other. Besides, their coffee orders were almost the same. JJ sighed in relief and grabbed onto the coffee.</p><p>"You are an angel sent from above," JJ said as she took a sip. She moaned at the taste. This was her first coffee of the day, and it was always the best. Emily giggled and adjusted her bag. "Thank you, Em. I appreciate it."</p><p>"Absolutely," Emily said and backed up shyly to the doorway. "I'll be in the bullpen if you need me."</p><p>"Of course," JJ said and waved bye to Emily. Derek and Spencer walked out of the elevator and saw Emily coming out of her office.</p><p>"Well, good morning," Derek said and smiled widely at the woman.</p><p>"Good morning!" Spencer said and smiled equally as wide at the woman.</p><p>"Morning, guys," Emily said as Derek held the door open for the two. Emily set down her coffee on the desk, and Derek squinted his eyes. The cup reading JJ.</p><p>"Little act of kindness, JJ?" Derek asked and lifted the cup. Emily furrowed her eyebrows before she saw the name. "Thanks for the coffee."</p><p>"Oh, no, last time I came to you with an act of kindness, you declined," Emily said and grabbed her coffee. Derek wincing and playfully smacking his hand against his cheek. "Besides, JJ and mine's order is almost identical."</p><p>"Uh-huh, well, next time, I like mine black with a dash of creamer. And Reid takes his about a quarter cup sugar and the rest coffee," Derek said and winked at her. Spencer looking up at the mention of his name and smiled at Emily. The woman rolled her eyes. "You doing okay today?"</p><p>"Yeah, I've gotten used to being a prey around here," Emily said as soon as Hotch walked by. She scrunched up her face as he peeked back at her. Derek was laughing. Hotch shook his head as he walked up the stairs and into his office. Emily sighed. At least Hotch acknowledged her today. That wasn't the case two weeks ago. The raven-haired woman took a deep breath before tackling her first file. She got lost in her own little world.</p><p>Meanwhile, Penelope had found her way to JJ's office and sat down across from the woman. JJ smiled up at her best friend. "What's up, Pen?"</p><p>"What's up with you, Emily?" Penelope said. JJ furrowed her eyebrows before Penelope turned her cup and saw the name Emily scribbled onto the side of it. "Little treat as an act of affection?"</p><p>"I didn't ask her for this one," JJ said and grabbed the coffee and took a sip of it.</p><p>"That makes it even cuter. She's thinking about you," Penelope said and pouted as she held her hands over her heart. "At this point, if you don't ask Emily out, I will. Maybe she'll bring me a coffee. But I won't out of respect for my best friend. Now, have you thought about it? I mean, since she took care of you, the two of you have seemingly gotten closer? So you have to make your move eventually."</p><p>"Pen, I've had my head in the files. I can't be thinking about how to ask out, Emily," JJ said as Reid stepped in the doorway. JJ's jaw dropped in shock. Penelope shuffled Reid into her office before closing the door.</p><p>"You're going to ask out, Emily?" Reid asked with a small smile on his face.</p><p>"I'm--thinking about it," JJ said and sat back in her chair.</p><p>"Well, Morgan and her were talking about you when she came and dropped off your coffee," Spencer said and looked between the two women. "She was blushing."</p><p>"See," Penelope said and gestured to Reid. JJ shook her head. "Oh, come on, JJ. The two work wives getting together would be so cute."</p><p>"You guys are practically dating already, just not with the title. Plus, Emily is a lot nicer when she's with you," Spencer said and smiled tightly. JJ tapped her pen down on the file and sighed.</p><p>"I'll working on it," JJ said and waved her hands at the two to get out of her office. The two groaning and getting up and leaving. JJ sat in silence and bit her lip. She grabbed her phone and opened up Emily's contact.</p><p>JJ: lunch on me?</p><p>Emily sat at her desk and broke away from her files when her phone buzzed. She read the message and smiled to herself. Spencer noticed and tried to suppress his own smile. He knew exactly who it was.</p><p>Emily: where are we going?</p><p>JJ sat back and tapped her fingers against the phone.</p><p>JJ: I know a place. Just meet me in my office for lunch :)</p><p>Emily raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. She set her phone down and started to race through her files. She didn't want to have any work that might affect the amount of time she spent with JJ. She didn't acknowledge anyone. Derek tried three times to get her attention, but he failed harder than the last to. The raven-haired woman was determined to get through everything in order to have peace and quiet for an hour with JJ.</p><p>It was five hours, twenty-nine minutes, and forty-two seconds for Emily to finish the stack of files on her desk. Spencer was keeping track. It surprised everyone how fast Emily would work if that meant she got to go to lunch with JJ.</p><p>Emily grabbed the tower of files she finished and headed up to Hotch's office. Derek looked over at Spencer. "Do you think if we keep leaving files on her desk of ours, she'll finish them to go to lunch with JJ?"</p><p>Spencer chuckled as they both sneakily placed a file down of each other, their own on her desk.</p><p>Emily walked in and set down all of the files in front of Hotch. He had an eyebrow raised at the woman and her completed files.</p><p>"I finished all my files for the day," Emily said and dusted the top of the tower off. Hotch grinned slightly.</p><p>"Emily, I hope you know that you have all week to finish these," Hotch said and grabbed the top one. He was convinced she was on something to make her finish these that fast. "But I appreciate your efforts."</p><p>"Well, thank you," Emily said with a smile. "If you need me to do anything else after lunch, I'll gladly drop by and help you out."</p><p>"You have plans for lunch? Is this why you finished everything?" Hotch asked and raised his eyebrows. Emily pursed her lips.</p><p>"Yes, but also it felt like a day of production was needed," Emily said in defense. Hotch grinned and nodded.</p><p>"Well, have fun with your lunch plans," Hotch said as Emily nodded and walked down the stairs. She saw her walk up to her desk and roll her eyes before going up to Derek and Spencer and smacking both on the arms. The two men were chuckling as Emily left the bullpen. Hotch looked back at the files and opened the top one. Everything was in full detail and not just messily thrown together. He was impressed, to say the least. And this was consistent with all of the files Emily brought in. She always shined through with her work. Hotch smiled to himself.</p><p>Emily bounced her way to JJ's office and was met with a sight she thought was adorable. JJ was setting up her desk as a make-shift table and placing the obvious take out perfectly. JJ even had a rose from the restaurant and set it on Emily's side of the table. Emily leaned against the door frame and smiled. "Jennifer Jareau, I don't think I've ever seen you like this. This person must be special, huh?"</p><p>JJ turned around and blushed. She smiled and gestured to the desk.</p><p>"I know you mentioned you loved Thai food. So I ordered some, and we can share," JJ said with a small smile on her face. She grabbed Emily's hand and brought her into the office. She shut the door behind her and pulled out the chair for Emily. The older woman's heart fluttering.</p><p>JJ sat down right in front of her and opened everything.</p><p>"I also got you this," JJ said and handed her the rose. Emily took it with bright eyes. She immediately leaned in and smelled the flowery scent.</p><p>"You are quite a romancer, JJ," Emily said and smiled widely. The blonde woman shrugged and watched Emily set the rose down gently next to her. "This almost feels like a date."</p><p>"We can call it that," JJ said and pursed her lips. Emily and her locked eyes. JJ could physically see the pink coming up on Emily's face.</p><p>"Okay, then I get the next date," Emily said and grabbed her fork. JJ handed her one of the boxes, and she immediately dug into the Thai chicken. JJ chuckled at her hunger.</p><p>"Not if I beat it to you first," JJ said sarcastically. </p><p>"Oh, not a chance. I'll keep you on your toes, Jaureu," Emily said and chuckled. JJ rolled her eyes. "Remember, I grew up traveling Europe. I know a thing or two about being a romantic charmer."</p><p>"You never mentioned what your favorite country to live in was," JJ said and took a bite of her noodles.</p><p>"I loved every part, but France will always have a piece of my heart," Emily said and smiled over at JJ.</p><p>"My sister always wanted to go," JJ said and smiled to herself. The thought of her sister always made JJ's heart bulge out of her chest. Her hand came up, and she subconsciously played with her necklace. Emily noticed. She had read JJ's file, so she knew.</p><p>"Well, I'm sure she would have loved it. I think you'd love it," Emily said and smiled softly. "Plus, croissants are forever going to be a comfort food of mine."</p><p>"They're your favorite?" JJ asked and squinted her eyes. Emily nodded as she chewed her food. "Not going to lie, I pinned you as an apple fritter kinda gal like myself."</p><p>Emily shrugged her shoulders. "I never discriminate when it comes to pastries."</p><p>JJ giggled and smiled at Emily. The two women continuing their light, flirty banter before there was a knock on the door. Hotch walked in and raised an eyebrow at Emily being in there. His eyes landing on the rose, and he looked over at JJ.</p><p>"Sorry for barging in, but JJ, I need you in my office as soon as you can," Hotch said and looked over at Emily, who was already packing up everything. Yes, Emily had finished all her work, but JJ was still very much busy. The two women saddened but listened and packed everything up. Emily sighed as she and JJ said their goodbyes.</p><p>Emily grumbled as she walked into the bullpen. Spencer and Derek noticed her behavior and raised eyebrows. They were about to question it, but JJ and Hotch both walked in and up to his office. Emily sat down on her chair and sighed. She didn't even pick her head up.</p><p>"Give me your stupid files," Emily mumbled and had her hand out for Reid and Morgan to give them to her. Both men looked between the other and shrugged before handing her one more from each pile.</p><p>Emily sulked as she did the two men's files. She would bitterly now and then take a bite of the food in front of her. She got into her own little world once again as she ate and did the files. The fire surrounding her dimmed, and she soon faded into the background of the BAU.</p><p>JJ looked over at her through the window and saw Emily take a small bite of the food in front of her. She smiled softly as she watched the older woman. Hotch picked up his head and looked towards the woman's line of sight. He saw Emily sitting there flipping through files.</p><p>"She didn't tell me her lunch plans were with you," Hotch said and scribbled down his signature on the corner of a paper. JJ turned and looked at Hotch. "If she would have said something, I wouldn't have come and got you."</p><p>"It's okay, Hotch. It's not like she and I could never make lunch plans again," JJ said with a small hint of curiosity in her tone. "But it's nice to see you're trusting her."</p><p>Hotch looked up at JJ before turning towards Emily, who was now swaying her head back and forth to the music in her head. It was a usual antic Emily did when she was concentrated for an extended amount of time.</p><p>"It's getting there," he said and looked back at the blonde woman. "But you were right. She is pretty nice when you get to know her."</p><p>"I've been with her this whole time, so one you're lying," JJ said and chuckled. "And two, I know you're just taking my word for it, and I appreciate it. I miss Elle too. But people are constantly going to be coming in and out of here with a job this crazy. It's good just to embrace them for the time we have them."</p><p>"When did you become the advice-giver?" Hotch joked, making JJ chuckle. She shook her head.</p><p>"Since you need advice," JJ said and pursed her lips. Hotch chuckled and looked back down at her paperwork. "Next time, I'll come and tell you we're having lunch together. Deal?"</p><p>"Deal," he said and looked over at the clock. It was already way past their lunch. "Take an early lunch tomorrow on me."</p><p>"Thanks, Hotch," JJ said and got up and walked out of his office. The man watched her walk down the stairs, and Emily physically lights up again in the presence of her. JJ leaned against her desk, and Emily smiled up at her as their conversation continued. Derek was chiming in and causing Emily to flip him off. Spencer and Derek were chuckling. Garcia walked out and leaned against Emily's chair, and joined the conversation. Hotch's face was wearing a smile. JJ was right. She's always right.</p><p>A few hours had passed, and Hotch was fast at work when there was a knock on the door. He looked up and saw his babysitter and his son there.</p><p>"Dad!" Jack yelled and practically jumped into the man's lap. Hotch smiled and hugged his son. He looked over at the woman and raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"Jessica, is everything okay?" Hotch asked and looked between the two of them.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I tried your cellphone, but it went to voicemail. And Haley is at work. But my mom called, and I need to head over and help her and my dad out. It's an emergency, and I didn't know what to do with Jack," Jessica said and ruffled the little boy's hair who was happily playing with his car on Aaron's desk.</p><p>"I'm sorry to hear that. And no worries, go ahead and take off. Thank you again, Jessica. Be careful," Hotch said and smiled at her as she walked out. He looked down at his son and then back at the mountain of paperwork in front of him. Then he got an idea. "Hey buddy, stay right here, okay?"</p><p>Jack nodded as Hotch stood up and placed him in the chair. The man walked to the door and walked out, leaning over the railing. "Emily, can I talk to you for a second?"</p><p>Emily got up and walked up the stairs, and followed Hotch into his office. She was about to question what was going on until she saw the little boy sitting in his big chair.</p><p>"Oh my, who's this?" Emily said and crouched down next to the desk to be eye-leveled with Jack.</p><p>"This is my son, Jack. Jack, this is Emily. Can you say hi?" Hotch asked and looked down at the shy boy. He tapped his feet together and looked over his car.</p><p>"Hi," he said softly. Emily's heart was exploding with love.</p><p>"My sitter had personal problems to deal with, and I know you finished your files early. I was wondering if I'd be a bother to ask you if you could watch him for me? I have a meeting and a ton of paperwork to do," he said. Emily physically saw the thoughts swirling around his head. She didn't say another word to him.</p><p>"Hey, Jack, I have a bunch of color pens at my desk, and I can print you out some coloring pages. Is that something you'd want to do?" Emily asked, and Jack's eyes immediately lit up. Hotch gave him an encouraging 'go on' before he jumped out of the chair and into Emily's arms. The woman was smiling and carrying him down the stairs and to her desk. She sat him down on her lap as she opened her computer. "So, who's your favorite superhero?"</p><p>"Captain America because he looks like daddy," Jack said with the biggest smile on his face. Emily chuckled and nodded. She saw the resemblance.</p><p>Hotch watched them from time to time as hours had passed. Jack seemed to find comfort in Emily. It was surprising to him and Emily.</p><p>JJ walked in and saw the adorable sight of Emily coloring with Jack and raised an eyebrow. She opted not to get in the middle of the woman's coloring zone and walked up to Hotch's office. She handed him a file and pursed her lips in a tight smile.</p><p>"Now you have a second source to tell you how amazing she is," JJ said and looked over at the woman who lifted Jack and made him giggle as she pretended to drop him. Hotch and her both smiling at the sight of the two laughing. Both their hearts fluttering at the innocent sight.</p><p>Hotch: "You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too--even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling." Mitch Albom</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you guys found this story on tik tok let me know😌 also let me know what you guys thought!</p><p>I'll be updating soon! - salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i finished some work early so i figured to treat my readers to a little update. i hope you guys enjoy </p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties😌 -salem🤍</p><p>TW: drinking, minimal swearing, overly fluffy<br/>word count: 3447</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Penelope: "Eye contact is a dangerous, dangerous thing. But lovely. God, so lovely." Hedonist Poet.</p><p>JJ thanked the pizza delivery guy as she grabbed the boxes from him. She shut the door and set down everything. It was girls' night—this time, hosted by an enthusiastic JJ. Penelope and Emily were both on board with the idea of drinking at JJ's rather than at O'Keefe's.</p><p>Emily stopped at the liquor store down the road, making sure to get JJ's favorite white wine and Penelope and her's favorite red. She made her way up to the woman's apartment and knocked on the door.</p><p>JJ was on the other side and opened it, smiling as Emily flashed her the two bottles of wine. The blonde woman was holding her hands out. Emily engulfed her in a hug as JJ kicked the door shut.</p><p>"You really know the way to my heart," JJ said and pouted as Emily handed it to her.</p><p>"Cheap white wine and crunchy Cheetos," Emily said and chuckled. She placed her bag down at the entrance. Her eyes were catching the pizza boxes on the counter. "Oh, and Jennifer Jaraeu, you know the way to mine."</p><p>"Chicago deep dish," JJ said and smiled at Emily as she grabbed the bottle opener. Her phone started to ring, and she held it and answered it. "Hello?"</p><p>"Hey, JJ," Penelope said over the phone.</p><p>"Hey, Pen, what's up. Where are you?" JJ asked as she pulled the cork out of the bottle.</p><p>"Um, I'm not coming," Penelope said and tried to hold back the smile in her voice.</p><p>"What? Why?" JJ asked and handed Emily a wine glass. The older woman grabbed it and poured it mid-way of JJ's wine. JJ was twisting the bottle opener onto the other bottle's cork.</p><p>"Well, I kinda landed myself a date tonight with this guy who works tech on the fifth floor," Penelope said and hung her mouth open to put on her lipstick. "Also, y'know, me being the best friend you could ever ask for, would like to leave you and your lover to it."</p><p>"We're not-" JJ was about to say, but Emily brushed upright against her and placed her hand on her hip as she reached for another wine glass. The blonde woman pursed her lips.</p><p>"Yeah, okay," Penelope chuckled out. "Have fun!"</p><p>"Pen-"</p><p>"Everything okay?" Emily asked as she poured herself some wine. JJ shut her eyes.</p><p>"Penelope canceled. She said she'd got a date with a tech guy from the fifth floor," JJ said and chuckled. Emily handed her the glass and smiled softly.</p><p>"Damn it. I was looking forward to her brownies. It looks like it's just the two of us," Emily said and clinked the two glasses together. "Now, I am starving. And it's your turn for the movie."</p><p>"Devil wears Prada," JJ sang out and grabbed two plates for them. Emily grabbed the wine glasses as JJ grabbed the pizza box and plates. The two settled down and were close enough that JJ should have basically been in Emily's lap.</p><p>Some time had passed, and the two were halfway with the movie. Emily grabbed her wine and finished the rest of it. "You know, I thank God every day that you and Garcia welcomed me with warm arms. I think I'd rip my hair out if you two were evil like her."</p><p>"Were you expecting us to be mean?" JJ asked and grabbed Emily's wine glass, and walked into the kitchen. "I think all the Rom-Coms you were watching before were getting to your head."</p><p>Emily rolled her eyes as JJ chuckled. "You act like you don't watch the same movies I do."</p><p>"But I have no problem admitting it," JJ said and handed Emily her wine. The older woman thanking her as JJ sank back down on the sofa. "Plus, I'm a sucker for romance."</p><p>"Oh, I'm well aware," Emily said and smirked. JJ was squinting her eyes as Emily took a sip of her wine. The blonde woman hit her playfully on the arm. "Watch it, or I'll march in here with a bouquet of roses, a ball gown, and some guy named Sergio off the street who plays the guitar."</p><p>"Yeah, right," JJ said and chuckled. "Are we going to slow dance in the middle of my living room too?"</p><p>Emily didn't say another word as she grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. She grabbed onto her phone and started to play some random ballroom playlist on Youtube and stuck her hand out to JJ.</p><p>"What are you doing?" JJ asked with a small smile on her face. Emily grabbed onto her hand and brought her to her feet. The older woman pulled JJ flush against herself and wrapped her arm around her waist. JJ's hand was resting on Emily's shoulder.</p><p>"We're dancing. I know I'm no, Ryan Gosling, but I want to dance with you, right here, right now," Emily said and interlocked their hands. JJ didn't say anything as Emily started to sway the two of them together as the song played in the background. JJ's head was leaning against Emily's. Both could hear nothing except for the other's heartbeat over the music. "Growing up, I was always shy. I never learned how to dance until my mom's posting in Spain. If I didn't dance, they might as well have just thrown me into jail."</p><p>JJ chuckled as Emily pulled away from her and spun her slowly. The women coming back together. JJ relaxing into Emily's touch. "I would figure Tango from Spain. Not waltzing."</p><p>"I think you're a little too tipsy for tango," Emily said and laughed. JJ pulled back and squinted her eyes at the woman. Emily pulled her in before dipping JJ and bringing her back up. JJ instantly getting red.</p><p>"I am perfectly sober," JJ said and shook her head. Emily and her remained quiet as they continued swaying together. The song ended, and the two women pulled away. Emily's eyes were running over JJ's entire face. She noticed the woman's glance down to her lips before going back up. Emily parted her lips before placing her hand on JJ's neck. The two women were leaning in.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Emily paused and shut her eyes in annoyance. JJ broke away and grabbed her phone. Penelope.</p><p>"Hey, Pen," JJ said and looked over at Emily, who pursed her lips and grabbed the remote, turning back on the TV.</p><p>"So that date went south really fast. I hope you don't mind me popping in late? Unless I'm interrupting something?" Penelope asked with a hint of curiosity in her voice. JJ looked over at Emily, who laid back down on the sofa, one arm resting on the couch's back cushions, right where JJ was.</p><p>"It's a little late for that," JJ grumbled. Penelope stopped in her tracks and almost screamed JJ's eardrums out.</p><p>"Something happened?" Penelope yelled. Emily hearing every bit as JJ practically hurried to the kitchen. The woman smiling as her eyes remained on the TV.</p><p>"No, I'll see you when you come over," JJ said and hung up the phone without another word. Emily tried immensely to hold back her laughter as JJ sat down under her arm. The blonde woman playfully hitting her stomach. Emily losing it and laughing. JJ rested into Emily's arm subconsciously and shook her head. Emily's face brushing against the top of JJ's head. She smelled good, like a rose. It was intoxicating to Emily. JJ leaned up and noticed Emily relaxed into her touch. The blonde woman was smirking before leaning up, placing a gentle kiss on Emily's cheek. The raven-haired woman's eyes popping open at the gesture. A bright shade of pink was on her cheeks.</p><p>Emily couldn't form a single cohesive thought as she turned her head and kissed JJ on the hairline. The woman was trembling in nerves. JJ noticed and just placed her hand on Emily's stomach and rubbed her hand over her shirt, soothing the woman. </p><p>It was a little bit later when there was a knock at the door. JJ had gotten up and opened the door, letting Penelope inside. The woman was in a slim cocktail dress, heels and had her hair done.</p><p>"Well, hello," Emily said as Penelope walked in. "Where'd you go?"</p><p>"I got stood up by this loser. Men are stupid," Penelope grumbled and took off her heels. Emily got up and gave Penelope a massive hug for compensation before heading to the kitchen and grabbing her a wine glass, and pouring her some of the liquor. "He wasn't even that hot, not to be mean. But if you look like that, and I look like this. You could at least give me the decency of calling and canceling. You don't leave a goddess at the gates of heaven and be like 'bye, whatever' no!"</p><p>"Well, I could have told you that going on a date with a man was a bad idea in the first place," Emily said as she sipped her wine. JJ nodded as she gestured to Emily. Penelope sat down at the counter and grumbled, grabbing a slice of the pizza and taking a bite. "Well, I have a friend if you're interested in dabbling on the other side."</p><p>"A friend?" JJ asked and raised an eyebrow. Emily looked over at her with a pursed smile. It didn't take a smart person to realize JJ was jealous.</p><p>"My college dorm neighbor. Her name is Melissa," Emily said, mostly to JJ, before looking back at Penelope. The woman's eyebrows were raised as she looked between the two. Emily and JJ taking a sip of wine as they were under Penelope's curious demeanor.</p><p>"Well, I'll be right back," JJ said and set down her wine. She power walked to the bathroom. Emily chuckled. JJ had a small bladder.</p><p>"So was it a mistake coming here?" Penelope asked and took another bite of pizza. Emily furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Oh, come on, sugar. You can't tell me that nothing is happening between you and JJ. I'm her best friend! And as your other best friend, you can ask me anything," Garcia said and reached across the counter and grabbed Emily's hand.</p><p>"I almost kissed her," Emily said softly. Garcia's eyes popping out of her head. Emily noticed the woman about to burst. "Please don't yell."</p><p>"I'm trying not to," Penelope said and pursed her lips as her face heat up with excitement. "Tell me everything."</p><p>"I pulled her to dance, and we were just talking, and the song ended. So I pulled back, and she—she looked down at my lips. And I wasn't thinking straight-"</p><p>"Yeah, no kidding," Penelope commented, making Emily chuckle. She shook her head and peeked over her shoulder—no JJ.</p><p>"And she just looked so beautiful. I had to. And right as I made my move and was about to, she got a call from you," Emily said and grabbed her wine, taking a swig of it. "And you didn't even bring those heavenly brownies, so I'm mad at you for two reasons."</p><p>"Well, let me make it up to you," Garcia said and smiled. "She totally has a crush on you. Me and her talk about you every day. So really, there's nothing that could go wrong."</p><p>"I don't know, Pen. JJ's the kind of girl who doesn't go for someone like me," Emily said and looked down at her fingernails.</p><p>"Has she told you that?" Penelope asked. Emily looked up and shook her head. "Then what's the point of downgrading yourself when you don't know what's going on in her head. She's crazy about you, Emily. Take it from me."</p><p>"Thanks, Garcia," Emily said as JJ walked out of the bathroom. She smiled and looked over at the two women who broke away from each other.</p><p>"Did I miss something?" JJ asked and tilted her head.</p><p>"No," Penelope and Emily said simultaneously before taking a sip of their wine. JJ squinted her eyes at the two as they grabbed their wine and food before heading back to the couch. Emily sat back down at her usual spot, and Penelope, on the other side of the sofa, leaning JJ, sat right in the middle. Penelope smiled as JJ and Emily shared a blanket together but still managed to not curl into the other's embrace.</p><p>It was the next morning, and JJ had gotten up with a significant headache from last night. She probably should stop participating in girls' nights during the week. But it was a way to unwind with the company so she would continue with it. She got up and made it out the door with record timing. To the average person, it would look like she wasn't hungover.</p><p>JJ walked into her office and smiled as she saw two unusual things there. One being the bouquet of different colored roses and the other being coffee. JJ set down her bags and grabbed the coffee. She looked on the side, and it had the name Emily scribbled down on it. Her heart was fluttering at the same gesture. JJ was fascinated with the flowers that she completely missed the card that came with them. She grabbed it and opened it.</p><p>A little birdy told me you were a sucker for roses. Now it's time I payback for that date. Lunch on me. E. P.</p><p>JJ smiled as she held the card to her heart. There were no words to describe how excited she was. The first date was unofficial, but this one, this one, was very much real.</p><p>JJ placed the card back down and grabbed her coffee before making her way to the bullpen. Penelope spotting her as she made her way into the bullpen as well.</p><p>"Good morning JJ!" Penelope said and pushed the door open for the two of them. JJ raised an eyebrow as Penelope had a pan of brownies in her hands.</p><p>"Good morning, Pen. You brought brownies?" JJ asked as they walked towards the rest of the team.</p><p>"Not for you, but one, Emily Prentiss," Garcia said and set down the pan of brownies in front of the woman. Emily smiled.</p><p>"Hey! You remembered! Penelope Garcia, I could just kiss you right now," Emily said and grabbed a brownie, taking a bite. JJ chuckled as she sat at Emily's desk.</p><p>"Brownies! Don't mind if I-"</p><p>Derek reached his hand out for one, but Emily swatted it away. "Hands off. These are mine."</p><p>"Garcia, baby girl, tell her something, please," Derek said and crossed his arms. Garcia putting her hands up in surrender.</p><p>"No can do, honey. I promised her those last night," Penelope said and looked down at Emily, who was flipping off Derek. JJ chuckled as she leaned forward and wiped chocolate off the corner of Emily's mouth.</p><p>"And where are my brownies! I don't get a little something something?" Derek asked as he sat down at his desk.</p><p>"Oh, I'll give you more than a little," Penelope said and winked over at Derek. Emily groaning.</p><p>"Go pounce on him over there, not near me and my brownies," Emily said playfully and shooed Garcia off of her desk. The blonde woman went over to Derek's desk and continued their conversation. JJ chuckling as she saw Spencer plug his ears. "So I see you got it."</p><p>"And I'm guessing the birdy brought you brownies," JJ said and smiled. Emily tilted her head and smiled guiltily. "Well, when you're ready for lunch. Come and get me."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Emily said and watched as JJ walked off. Emily's eyes slowly going down before a paper being thrown at her caught her attention. "What the hell-"</p><p>"PG thirteen, Prentiss," Garcia warned. Emily put her hands up and started to work on her files. Slowly, the work environment faded as Emily concentrated on her files. Garcia, Spencer, and Morgan all noticed the woman deep into her work and smiled. "Anything for JJ, I guess."</p><p>The workday continued, and it was finally time for lunch. Emily sprang up out of her chair. Earlier, she had ordered delivery of Rose's Luxury for the two of them. It was an expensive lunch, but JJ didn't need to know that.</p><p>Emily grabbed the bags from the delivery driver and thanked him before heading to JJ's office. She knocked twice before entering. JJ looked up and smiled as she saw two massive bags in her hands.</p><p>"What's this?" JJ asked and stood up, grabbing one of the bags from Emily. "Where did you go?"</p><p>"A little restaurant down the street," Emily said and shrugged as she placed the bag down and started taking everything out. "So we have Rigatoni Alla Vodka for Miss Jareau. I coupled it with freshly fried salmon. And for myself the same, I couldn't resist. But instead, I got the Japanese Fried chicken with it. And a chocolate cake for dessert."</p><p>"This looks expensive," JJ said and raised an eyebrow as she sat down. Emily shrugged and sat down across from her. The two dug into the food. JJ's eyes rolled to the back of her head. "This is amazing."</p><p>"Holy shit, it's better than the last time I had it," Emily said and chuckled. Both women soaking in the flavor of the food.</p><p>"So, what else did you and Garcia talk about?" JJ asked as she devoured the pasta in front of her. Emily looked up with a small smile on her face.</p><p>"You seem nervous, is there something Garcia could have told me to make you so on edge," Emily asked and chuckled as JJ shrugged and jutted out her bottom lip.</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," JJ said and took a bit of the pasta. Emily raised her eyebrows and leaned forward.</p><p>"We talked about you," Emily said and watched as JJ's eyes flashed panic, curiosity, and love all in one second.</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"Oh, that's a secret I'll never reveal," Emily said and smiled. JJ huffed as Emily continued to eat her food. The two women continued a small talk conversation as their food slowly disappeared into their stomachs. JJ was in pure happiness at this moment being here with Emily. The woman was her safe haven. Her means of escape in the very room she saw too much horror in. It was fascinating how Emily could manage that.</p><p>The woman made a show of her with the chocolate cake before taking a forkful and hovering it over to JJ's mouth. The woman's perfect pink lips wrapped around the spoon and took the cake with it as she pulled back. Emily smiled as JJ got crumbs on her shirt and a small bit of chocolate frosting on the side of her mouth. She grabbed a napkin and walked to her side of the desk, bending over and holding the woman's chin. JJ's cheeks were heating up at the touch. Emily was an intimidating woman, and right now, that was apparent.</p><p>Emily wiped the corner of her mouth, staring intensely at her lips. The older woman got lost in the idea of kissing JJ. Her other hand came up and cupped her cheek—the two women shutting their eyes and leaning in.</p><p>"Hey, JJ—Hey! Oh, my eyes!" Derek said as he walked into JJ's office. Emily locked her jaw.</p><p>"Derek," Emily gritted through her teeth. Derek stood at the door with a file covering his eyes.</p><p>"Lunch is over. Hotch needs you," Derek said and shut the door. Emily sighed as she closed up everything. JJ stood up and kissed Emily sweetly on the cheek.</p><p>"Thank you for lunch, Em," JJ said softly and couldn't resist planting another kiss on her cheek. The older woman was smiling as JJ walked out in a hurry to see what Hotch needed. Derek stood on the other side of the door and had his hands up. Emily glared at him.</p><p>"Don't look at me like that. Lock the door next time."</p><p>Emily: "I have been thinking of how I want to be touched by you, with your hands that will play me like piano keys, with fingers that will make a symphony out of me." Karese Burrows.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i had to drag that out i'm sorryyyyyy. these two are so cute together it makes my heart explode witt mushy gushy love😌</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>disclaimer before we start, i am no means a smut writer and i wasn't sure how to feel about this so if it's bad i'm sorry. i tried to ✨prolong✨ it as much as possible</p><p>but anyways, no more interruptions i guess (totally not for long but just a treat after last chapter)🤷♀️</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: NSFW, smut, 18+, drinking, minimal swearing, heavy amounts of drinking<br/>word count: 3681</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hotch: "The problem with human attraction is not knowing if it will be returned." Becca Fitzpatrick.</p><p>Emily groaned at the headache she was feeling. Reading for more than five hours should be considered a felony in her eyes. But she loved her job, no matter the headaches.</p><p>"You look like you could use a drink," Derek said and chuckled as Emily's hands tried to soothe her headache.</p><p>"I might just take you up on that offer. So long as you're buying," Emily said and picked her head up to look at Morgan.</p><p>"I'll buy round one, how about that. Reid?" Derek asked and looked over at the boy genius who was flipping through his book. Spencer looked up at the mention of his name. "We're going to O'Keefe's tonight. You wanna come?"</p><p>"Sure," he said and smiled before turning his attention back to his book. Derek grabbed his phone and sent a message to Penelope, JJ, and Hotch through the group chat.</p><p>JJ furrowed her eyebrows together as her phone rang. She looked down at the group chat.</p><p>Derek: O'Keefe's tonight! First-round on me</p><p>JJ bit her lip and pressed her phone to her chest. She wondered if Emily was going to be there tonight. JJ didn't let the thought of Emily cloud her task at hand for much longer.</p><p>JJ: sounds great! I'm in</p><p>Emily smiled down at her phone before getting back to her work. Derek and Spencer glanced over at one another and smiled.</p><p>Once the clock hit nine o'clock, Derek, Spencer, and Emily all got up and made their round picking up everyone. Emily pulled the short end of the stick and got Hotch. She gulped as she ran up the stairs and knocked on his door.</p><p>"Hey, you coming?" Emily asked as Hotch looked up at her. He looked towards his files and rubbed his fingers together. There was always tomorrow to do it. "Come on, Hotch. I'll even buy you a drink if that means you come with."</p><p>"Two drinks," Hotch said and grinned as he stood up. Emily placed a hand out.</p><p>"Woah, Woah, my headache caused this planning. You're designated driver," Emily said. Hotch laughed as he packed his bag. "And lose the tie please, I need to see you without it on for once."</p><p>"Don't push it," Aaron said and smiled over at Emily. The raven-haired woman chuckled as he undid it and threw it in the bag. Emily waited for Hotch, and the two walked down the stairs, meeting everyone at the elevator.</p><p>"Life of the party is here," Derek joked and patted Hotch on the shoulder. The older man was chuckling as they walked into the elevator. JJ, Reid, Penelope, and Emily all piling in afterward.</p><p>They opted to stay in two cars: Hotch, JJ, and Emily in one and Derek, Penelope, and Spencer in the other. Spencer and Hotch were deemed designated drivers for the two in their cars.</p><p>The team walked into O'Keefe's and immediately went to an unoccupied table. Emily and Derek headed to the bar and ordered everyone a tall beer beside Penelope, who wanted a sex on the beach. The two keeping a tab, they would need it—they carried three drinks each to the table.</p><p>"Cheers!" Emily said, and all the team raised their glasses and took a drink. Emily and Derek glancing at each other and started to race to see how they would finish their beer first. Emily finishing just a second behind Derek. JJ chuckled as Emily shook her head. "I almost had you beat."</p><p>Spencer set down his beer and shook his head. He already felt drunk. Maybe it was a bad idea to make him a designated driver. The team broke off, Emily and Derek back at the bar ordering shots for four out of the six-team members. JJ and Penelope were playing darts with two random guys. Hotch and Reid were staying behind at the table.</p><p>"Now, you have to be my wing woman," Derek said and patted Emily's back.</p><p>"Yeah, right," Emily said as she looked over at JJ. She watched as she bent her over slightly, her shirt riding up and exposing a thin line of skin just above her pants. She had to physically peel her eyes away. Derek noticed and smirked.</p><p>"Something occupying your mind?" Derek asked and chuckled. Emily rolled her eyes and asked the bartender for another shot for herself. "You could be getting lucky tonight. That's if you work up the balls to actually talk to her like you're going to get with her."</p><p>"I'm working on it," Emily said and grabbed the shot and taking it. Derek chuckled.</p><p>"Alright," Derek said and crossed his arms. "Let's go dance. Go get your lady and bring her out."</p><p>"Is that a bet?" Emily asked. Derek pulled out a twenty-dollar bill from his pocket and flashed it at Emily. The raven-haired woman sighed, and she grabbed her other shot before taking it. Her face was scrunching up at the hard alcohol as she snatched the bill from Derek. She didn't say another word as she grabbed two of the shots and walked up to them.</p><p>"Lover Girl, three o'clock," Penelope mumbled as she sipped her drink. Emily handed Penelope one shot before placing her hand on JJ's hip as she gave the woman hers. Emily and her locking eyes. She could just kiss her right now.</p><p>"Hey," Emily said softly. "Complementary shots from Derek. He wants the three of us loosened up before we go out and dance."</p><p>"We're dancing?" JJ asked before taking the shot. Her face was wincing as JJ felt the burn down her throat.</p><p>"Unless you don't want to dance with me," Emily said and had a smug look on her face. JJ grabbed her beer and finished the rest of it. She needed the courage for this.</p><p>"Buy me a drink first, and we'll see," JJ said and smirked. Penelope, feeling very much like a third wheel, took her shot as she watched the two women.</p><p>"Pen? You want another one?" Emily asked and looked over at Penelope.</p><p>"Oh no, honey, right now I need to go tackle my predator. The large lion that is Derek Morgan," Penelope said and handed Emily her drink as she left the two women there. Emily and JJ were laughing as Garcia stumbled her way to Derek. She was a very apparent lightweight.</p><p>"So what do you say, Jareau? Do you want to come dance with me? After some liquid courage," Emily said and licked her lips. JJ bit hers and nodded. She grabbed the drink from Emily, finishing half of Penelope's alcohol.</p><p>"Only if you're buying," JJ said and glanced over at bar. The older woman grabbed the drink from JJ and finished the rest before setting the glass down on the stool Penelope sat on previously. Emily held her hand and led her to the bar. The bartender coming up towards the two ladies.</p><p>"Let me get four tequila shots," Emily said and nodded as the man walked off. JJ raised an eyebrow. Emily was really trying to get her drunk. "So, you didn't tell me you were good at darts. Or at least I can assume by the way those guys looked defeated."</p><p>"Growing up in a small town with nothing to do, you'd be surprised at what I've learned," JJ said suggestively as the bartender handed them the four shots. The two women clinking their shot glasses together before tilting their head back and feeling the burn of the tequila. Both of their faces scrunching up. JJ smiled over at Emily. The woman's vision was now seemingly starting to get blurry. "And for the record, I wasn't focused on those guys."</p><p>"What were you focused on?" Emily asked and leaned a little closer to JJ. The blonde woman's eyes trailing down to her lips. Emily knew. She immediately knew.</p><p>JJ grabbed the other shot for herself and raised it. Emily followed her, and the two cheered again before taking the last shot. Emily leaned forward, almost painfully close to JJ, and grabbed the woman's hands. "Let's go. Derek and Penelope are waiting."</p><p>Emily was gone. She entirely loosened up with her, Penelope, Morgan, and JJ all on the dance floor. Emily's body started to move to the song's rhythm, and soon, she was practically grinding against JJ. The blonde woman behind her smiling at Emily's antics. Her hand up in her hair as the liquor took over her senses. JJ placed her hands on her hips and guided her to sway back into her. Emily turned around and smiled as JJ pulled her in. The two women gaining the attention of everyone on the dance floor as they danced.</p><p>The two smiled at each other as Penelope got in the middle of them. "Save room for chastity!"</p><p>JJ and Emily both pulling at the other to sit back down at the table. Their heads were spinning. Two beers, half of a sex on the beach, and a total of seven tequila shots ran through their bodies combined. Hotch raised an eyebrow as they stumbled.</p><p>"Hotch, can you please take us to get some food?" Emily asked as her speech slurred. Aaron chuckling as she reached over and placed her hand on his. "Please? My treat?"</p><p>"Now?" he asked. Emily nodded with a smile. "Alright, then let's go."</p><p>The two women bid their goodbyes to Morgan, Garcia, and Reid. Emily and JJ holding onto Aaron as he walked the two women out of the bar. Both women ditching their heels halfway to the car.</p><p>Hotch got the two women in the car and drove them to the nearest fast-food restaurant. Emily and JJ both ordering cheeseburgers with enough extra fries to feed a family of five. Hotch even got a burger since Emily was paying.</p><p>The man got the food and handed it to the two women as they started to scarf down their fries. It wasn't long until he pulled up to Emily's apartment complex. Hotch guided the two women to the apartment.</p><p>JJ and Emily stumbled into Emily's apartment and chuckled as Hotch walked in. The two making their way into the kitchen and grabbing the food from Hotch.</p><p>"You two are going to be okay, right?" Hotch asked. Emily waving him off.</p><p>"I've had more to drink," Emily said as she grabbed her fries, stuffing a hand full of them in her mouth. JJ leaned against the counter and eating her burger already.</p><p>"Be careful, please," Hotch said as he grabbed his keys and walked towards the door.</p><p>"Bye, Hotch!" the two women said simultaneously. The two paused before JJ got an idea.</p><p>"I know I had it somewhere," Emily said and looked through her fridge. She grabbed the bottle of wine from the back and opened the already loose cork. She took two huge sips straight from the bottle before handing it to JJ. The blonde woman surprising her as she took three big sips. JJ was already drunk. This was just the cherry on top.</p><p>"Emily," JJ said and smiled. The raven-haired woman looked over at her with blurry vision. The two looked at each other for what felt like hours before they both took a step towards the other. JJ ran a hand down Emily's face and swiped her thumb over her perfectly shaped lips. Emily didn't breathe as JJ did. The blonde woman cupping her neck and kissing the very corner of her mouth to test the waters. Emily couldn't wait longer and pulled JJ closer by the waist. Both women shutting their eyes as their lips finally connected. Suddenly, there was no alcohol in both of their systems. Emily and JJ both sighed against the other's lips. Kissing the other felt good. It felt right—soft lips on the others'. Everything was practically perfect.</p><p>It didn't take long for the initial spark to manifest itself into a full-blown make-out session between the two. Emily backed JJ upright against the counter, placing her hands on the exposed skin of her hips. JJ's hands were going up to Emily's hair as she tried to tug her closer. JJ's tongue was poking through Emily's mouth. The older woman letting her take the lead before her own tongue started to fight for dominance.</p><p>The blonde woman's hand came down and started to unbutton Emily's shirt. Emily felt this, and reality finally hit her.</p><p>"JJ," Emily mumbled against her lips. JJ, not hearing her and continued to unbutton her shirt and kiss her frantically. "JJ, baby, slow down."</p><p>JJ finally pulled away from her and rested her forehead against Emily's. The two women were panting for air. Emily's hands running over her hips. "You're drunk. I can't take advantage of you when you're drunk."</p><p>JJ shook her head and leaned in, kissing Emily deeply. The older woman melting as JJ kissed her.</p><p>"I'm sober. I know what I'm doing. Please. Just please," JJ said and pulled Emily in by her shirt. JJ's eyes lowering to the black bra that covered Emily. Seeing her skin in this way felt unrealistic. It felt heavenly. The older woman breaking and kissing her again. Emily's tongue entering her mouth as she completely dominated JJ. "I need you, Em."</p><p>"Come here," Emily husked between their kisses. The older woman pulling JJ into her bedroom. The two blindly making their way to her queen size bed, crashing down on it when they finally found it. JJ crawled back as Emily mirrored her. She felt like a helpless prey by the way Emily looked at her. The blonde woman grabbing Emily by the face and pulled her in again. Emily had taken her spot right on JJ's lap and pulled the younger woman to sit up as they kissed. A wandering hand found its way to the hem of JJ's shirt. Emily pulled away and slowly took off the woman's shirt. She was savoring every single inch of skin JJ had to offer. Her eyes landing on the padded dark purple bra that complemented JJ perfectly.</p><p>JJ blushed under the woman's stare and leaned forward, kissing Emily right on her pulse point. The older woman tilting her head back as JJ tried to get her impossibly closer. The blonde woman biting down and sucking softly at Emily's skin. Emily's hands ran through JJ's hair and tugging softly, admitting a low moan from the other woman. Emily's head was spinning as JJ's mouth moved down to the middle of her chest. Emily beat JJ to it and unclasped the blonde woman's bra. Emily tugging JJ's head back to make her look at her as the older woman slipped her bra off.</p><p>Emily's hands going down and unbuckling her belt. The sight alone making JJ want to jump the other woman's bones. Emily smirked as she saw JJ watching her. The older woman's lips were trailing down from her lips to her neck, her body moving down as she did. JJ's hands buried in Emily's hair as the woman was not hesitant to make dark purple marks on her breasts. "Oh, Emily."</p><p>Emily smirked before taking one of JJ's bright pink nipples into her mouth. JJ's head tilted back as soft moans left her mouth. Emily's tongue was swirling around the bud before pulling back and letting it go with a pop sound. The older woman continuing her assault on her other nipple. JJ watched her intensely as Emily looked up at her.</p><p>"Please, please, Emily," JJ practically whimpered out as the woman grabbed her belt buckle and undid it. The blonde woman lifting her hips as Emily undid her pants and started to pull them down. Emily nearly moaned at the sight of a soaked white lace thong barely covering JJ. Emily spread her legs as her pants hit the floor. The older woman looking up at JJ before smirking. She leaned forward, kissing the utmost inner corner of her thigh, so close to where JJ needed her. "Emily."</p><p>"What is it, baby?" Emily asked, making JJ's cheeks heat up at her low tone. The older woman hooked her fingers onto her thong and slowly pulled it down.</p><p>"Please, no teasing," JJ moaned softly, and one of Emily's fingers made its way to the wetness between JJ's legs. The older woman nodded before tugging JJ down by the legs and running her tongue through the collective wetness. Emily's tongue circling around the very swollen clit ever so lightly. Emily's fingers were coming up and spreading JJ's pussy as her tongue ran up and down. JJ's hands tugging at Emily's hair. Emily looking up and locking eyes with the woman before she flattened her tongue against her clit and made tight circles. JJ's eyes shut, and her head tilted back as moans rolled off her tongue.</p><p>Emily smirked and wrapped her lips around the bud, sucking softly at first as her fingers found their way to JJ's entrance. As Emily sucked, she sunk in two fingers into the blonde woman. JJ's hands gripping onto the sheets. It was an indescribable feeling as Emily hummed and started to thrust her fingers in and out of JJ. The blonde woman's eyes shut as whimpers and moans of encouragement were spewed out. "Baby, faster."</p><p>Emily listened and sped up her pace with her fingers. JJ's moans were bouncing off the walls of the apartment, most likely alerting the neighbors. It didn't take long until JJ's legs started to tremble. Emily smirking as they did. She curled her fingers up, hitting JJ's g-spot perfectly.</p><p>"Oh fuck, Emily," JJ said and was clawing at anything in her reach. She felt a flash of white ran through her body, a bubbling feeling in her stomach. She was so close, so painfully close.</p><p>"Let it go. Let me see you cum, baby," Emily said just above a whisper, but JJ heard it loud and clear. Her back arched as she came with a string of moans and Emily's name. The raven-haired woman's pace was not stopping and helping JJ ride out her orgasm. Emily finally pulled out her fingers and made a show to JJ on licking them clean. The older woman leaning down and running her tongue up and down JJ's slit. The blonde woman jerking from sensitivity. "Relax, JJ, I'm just cleaning up."</p><p>JJ didn't even wait as she sat up and grabbed onto Emily. The two women meeting in a fierce kiss as JJ's hands went down to her pants and undid them. Emily stepping out of them, leaving her in her matching black underwear and bra. "Take them off."</p><p>Emily did just that and made her way back onto JJ's lap. The blonde woman was smiling as she brought Emily in for a kiss. Her hand snaking through Emily's legs, and she found the woman completely soaked. Emily's breathing picking up as JJ made contact with her clit. The blonde woman rubbing it in slow tight circles. Emily's hips were grinding against JJ's hand to gain more friction. The older woman's hands steadied herself on her JJ's shoulder. JJ was wasting no time and inserting two fingers into Emily's pussy. The older woman moaning as her head rested against JJ's.</p><p>"JJ, oh shit," Emily moaned out as JJ's other hand started to move against her clit.</p><p>"Ride them, baby. Come on," JJ said softly. Emily's head was spinning at the assertiveness. But she listened and rode against JJ's long slim fingers. The older woman was in pure bliss as JJ's hand rubbed against her clit. Swear words, moans, and JJ's name filled the apartment. The blonde woman smiling as she curled her fingers and watched Emily shutter. Her nails were digging into JJ's skin. The blonde woman's lips found their way down to Emily's collarbone. She was marking Emily with deep purple bites.</p><p>"JJ, fuck, please," Emily whimpered out. JJ smirking as her hand fastened her pace on Emily's clit. Emily, with her head thrown back and body covered in sweat, was so close. JJ soaked up the image of the woman like that.</p><p>"Cum for me, baby," JJ said and licked up the sweat between Emily's breasts. Her chest was rising up and down as she approached her orgasm. JJ took one of Emily's dusty rose nipples into her mouth and sucked softly on the bud compared to her fast pace on her clit. The sensation making Emily fly off the edge. Her body was trembling as she moaned for JJ. The blonde woman's hand now coated in Emily's wetness. Emily's head was spinning as JJ helped her ride out the orgasm. She finally came back down and locked eyes with JJ. She didn't even second guess when she leaned forward and kissed the woman sweetly. JJ's fingers were slowly easing out of her. Emily grabbed her hand and licked all of her wetness off of JJ's hand. The blonde woman was having the most unholy thoughts at that very moment.</p><p>"Jennifer Jareau, I'm just getting started with you," Emily said and smiled as JJ blushed heavily. JJ taking matters into her own hand and flipped the two of them around, making her on top now.</p><p>JJ: "For sensual people, it isn't the naked body or sex that's exciting; it's the anticipation of the unknown." Lebo Grand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hope you guys enjoyed😌 i am so sorry if it's bad, if y'all haven't noticed i'm a fluffy/angsty writer so yeah. let me know what you guys thought 😚</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is a filler of Mom!Emily as a cleanse from the last chapter. this also features one of my favorite comfort episodes so enjoy😌</p><p>disclaimer! someone pointed out that rossi is missing from this fanfic and honestly i forgot to write him in lol but i'll get there. also this fanfic doesn't follow the show's timeline so some of the cases are out of order because they work better for whatever is happening🤷🏻♀️</p><p>also y’all liking the new cover ?👀</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: NSFW mentions, mentions of violence, slight heartbreak<br/>word count: 3792</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ: "Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation." Robert A. Heinlein.</p><p>JJ woke up with a raging headache and her entire body sore. She made a move to sit up when something moved beside her. She looked over and saw Emily there, peacefully asleep with her back to JJ. The blonde woman's eyes trailing down to the tattoo Emily had on her lower back. A tramp stamp, to be exact. The tattoo of angel wings. That was the only tattoo JJ could see in her position. The woman was about to lean over, but reality hit her.</p><p>She was completely naked in her coworker's apartment. JJ looked down at her state and saw a line of deep purple bruises going from her breasts down past her belly button. Flashes of memories came back.</p><p>"Oh JJ," Emily moaned out and tangled her hands into her hair, pulling her closer to her clit. "Please, baby."</p><p>JJ winced as her headache took over.</p><p>"Let me make you cum one more time," Emily said softly against JJ's neck. The older woman taking her earlobe into her mouth and tugging at it.</p><p>The blonde woman sat up and tried to shake her headache away. But that only brought more flashes of memories.</p><p>"That's it, baby. Cum for me," Emily said as JJ's back arched, crying out Emily's name.</p><p>JJ stood up and grabbed her clothes from the floor. She slipped everything on before looking over at Emily. She was still sound asleep. Should she leave a note? They only had an hour before they had to be at the office. Emily would understand. JJ blew her a kiss before going into the kitchen, grabbing her bag, and leaving.</p><p>She made her way to her apartment complex, ignoring the knowing look from the cab driver. She was doing the walk of shame, but the stares didn't help.</p><p>JJ got to her apartment and sighed softly. She needed a shower, coffee, to brush her teeth, and pain medication. One thing at a time. She got into her bathroom and started her shower as she undressed. She took one good look at herself in the mirror and had her eyebrows raised. Emily didn't hold back at all. The trail of hickeys from her breasts to between her legs was the minimum of what Emily did. She had huge hickeys on her neck, ribs, and inner thighs. Not to mention a bruise of a handprint on her right ass cheek. JJ shut her eyes. Turtleneck it is.</p><p>She hopped into the shower and savored the warmth of the shower. She needed to relax. Especially now since she was going to be seeing Emily in less than an hour after everything.</p><p>JJ finished her morning routine fast and was out the door. She walked into the BAU and set down her things in her office before making a B-line to Penelope's lair. She didn't even knock and just entered. Garcia raised an eyebrow at her.</p><p>"Well, good morning sun-"</p><p>"I had sex with Emily," JJ said, making Garcia's eyes pop out. "And I left her apartment to go home and change and stuff, and I don't even know what I'm supposed to do."</p><p>"How could you?" Garcia asked and placed a hand over her heart. "I had you guys bet to wait at least until next week. I just lost twenty dollars to Derek! How could you do that to me?"</p><p>"Garcia!" JJ snapped and placed her hand on her head. The headache wasn't helping. Lesson learned, don't drink and go to work the next day. "I don't know how I'm going to look her in the eye after she saw me naked and me with her."</p><p>"Was it good?" Garcia asked with a smile on her face. She patted the seat next to her, and JJ sat down. Her eyes shut back to Emily.</p><p>Emily hovered over her with a hand over her neck.</p><p>"Look at me," Emily said softly. JJ's back arching as Emily smiled.</p><p>JJ sighed and rubbed her eyes. "It was hot, steamy, needy, and oh God, Garcia, I couldn't feel my legs for those four plus hours. I don't even know how I got up this morning because I still feel them shaking. I stopped counting after two orgasms."</p><p>"Holy shit, I'm jealous," Garcia said and crossed her legs. JJ licked her lips and sighed.</p><p>"Now, what do I do?" JJ asked and looked up at the ceiling. Just as she was about to open her mouth, there was a knock on the door.</p><p>"Enter!" Garcia yelled, making JJ scrunch up her face in pain. Emily walked in and smiled. Her eyes landed on JJ. "Good morning, lovely."</p><p>"Good morning indeed," Emily said, mostly to JJ but offered Penelope a warm smile. "I took the liberty of grabbing all of us coffee because we're all most likely hungover. So here you go."</p><p>Emily handed Penelope one of the coffees before handing JJ hers. "Thanks, Em."</p><p>"I love the matching turtlenecks you guys have going on," Penelope commented before taking a sip of her coffee. JJ nearly smacked her right there. Emily raised an eyebrow suggestively at JJ.</p><p>"Well, I have to run. You know files and everything. I'll be in the bullpen," Emily said and looked between the two women. She didn't say another word as she left. Her hips were swaying a little more. She knew JJ was watching. JJ's eyes falling to her backside.</p><p>"Oh, she definitely knows what she's doing," Penelope said and chuckled. JJ took another sip of her coffee and nodded.</p><p>Emily walked into the bullpen, gaining raised eyebrows from Spencer and Derek. She silently handed the two men their coffees before making her way to her desk. The two men going back and forth before Derek stood up and sat on Emily's desk. </p><p>"So, a turtleneck," Derek asked, teasing. Emily raised an eyebrow at what he was referring to.</p><p>"Can a woman not make a fashion decision without having men scrutinize her for it?" Emily asked and opened one of her files. Derek and Spencer both laughing.</p><p>"Well, I bet JJ had fun using you last night," Derek said and walked away to his desk. Emily looked over at him.</p><p>"What's that suppose to mean?"</p><p>"It means you're a bottom," Spencer commented and held back his laughter. Emily's jaw dropped.</p><p>"I am not a bottom!" Emily said, somewhat offended at the speculation. Derek and Spencer both bursting into laughter.</p><p>"See, you just admitted to sleeping with her," Derek said and waved his finger at Emily. The woman rolling her eyes and flipping both of them off. She opted to ignore both of them.</p><p>Hotch and JJ both walked into the bullpen and sighed. Derek, Spencer, and Emily all were moaning as well. They had to go.</p><p>The team didn't say another word as they loaded up into the jet and headed off to Colorado. The team had arrived and split up. JJ and Emily were put to go talk to the only survivor of the attack. A teenager named Carrie.</p><p>Emily and JJ entered the hospital room and smiled softly at the woman. "Hi Carrie, I'm Jennifer Jareau. And this is my friend Emily Prentiss. We're with the FBI."</p><p>"FBI? Is this about the men who killed my family?" she asked and looked back and forth between the two women. Emily nodded. "What do you need to know?"</p><p>"Just tell me what happened," Emily said and placed her hands in front of her. "You can take your time."</p><p>"There was a knock on the door. This guy was there, tall, white, brownish blonde hair. He had a cat with him. He said it got hit in the road and was asking if it was ours. When I told him no, he asked for a bag," Carrie explained calmly. "I went to go get a bag. And when I got back, there were two of them."</p><p>"What did the other one look like?" Emily asked and looked over at JJ, who was writing down everything Carrie was saying.</p><p>"Heavier, Hispanic, quiet. He never looked straight ahead," she said and shook her head slightly. Visions of the man she was talking about filling her mind.</p><p>"What do you mean?" JJ asked and sat down next to her.</p><p>"Like, a few times, I felt him staring at me. But when I looked up, he always looked away," she said and looked over at JJ.</p><p>"He was avoiding eye contact?" Emily asked. Carrie nodded softly. Emily looked over at JJ and pursed his lips.</p><p>"My dad came out of the study, and they jumped him. They made Danny call out for my mom. And they tied them up. Then the white one walked over and got the thing from the fireplace and started hitting them with it. They made us watch," Carrie said before a sob escaped her mouth. JJ leaned over and touched the girl's hand softly.</p><p>"Okay, we can take a break here-"</p><p>"No! You need this, right?" Carrie said and looked back and forth between the two women. "After a while, the quiet one took Danny away. And the other one just started going through drawers looking for stuff. And I ran. He called me Lucy. I tried speaking to him in Spanish, but he didn't understand. He told me to be quiet because I would get his brother mad. And that's when he took me into the room, and everything is dark after that."</p><p>"Okay. Thank you for doing that. JJ and I are going to run down to the station and give them your story," Emily said and smiled softly at Carrie. She didn't say anything and nodded as the two women got up and left the room.</p><p>The two women got to the station and explained the whole thing precisely like how Carrie had. Emily couldn't help but just shake her head at the idea of releasing to the media the news that Carrie had survived.</p><p>"Are you uncomfortable with that?" Hotch asked as he noticed Emily's state.</p><p>"I'd be more okay with that idea if we doubled her security. I mean, she looked hopeless as JJ and I talked to her. Hell, I'll even take shifts to make sure she's okay," Emily said and looked down at the coffee in her hands. Hotch nodded.</p><p>"JJ, go make a statement," Hotch said. JJ nodded and walked out of the police station and towards the large crowd of media outside. "The rest of us keep looking for any sort of connection."</p><p>The team worked tirelessly working towards some progress but inevitably made no progress. Hotch noticed Emily watching the clock intensely. The older woman was biting at her fingernails. He walked around to her and leaned against the table next to Emily.</p><p>"What's eating at you?" Hotch asked and looked Emily in the eye. The woman shaking her head and pursing her lips. "Is it Carrie?"</p><p>"These guys are crazy, Hotch. We don't know if they'll try to finish her off at the hospital. I just, I need to go see if she's okay," Emily said and pursed her lips. Hotch nodded.</p><p>"Take JJ with you."</p><p>Emily thanked him before grabbing her coat and bag. She and JJ were going to the house and picking up a change of clothes for her before heading to the hospital.</p><p>"I'm going to get her something to snack on. She must be starving," JJ said and gestured to the vending machine down the hall. Emily nodded as the girl's doctor approached her. JJ watched Emily as she talked. She stood tall. Her mothering instinct was apparent in this case. JJ grabbed the bag of pretzels from the machine before making her way to Emily.</p><p>"Hey, they just gave Carrie clearance. She's good to go," Emily said as she spotted JJ walking down the hall.</p><p>"Well, I wish she had somewhere to go," JJ said and sighed. "I haven't heard back from her Aunt and Uncle from LA."</p><p>"Can't this girl catch a break?" Emily asked. And right as the words left her mouth. Screaming was heard from the teenager's room. The two women sprinting in and checking on her. Emily ran up to the girl and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Carrie! Carrie honey! Wake up! Wake up. It's okay. It's just a dream."</p><p>The girl looking between the two women and sighed in relief. She leaned up into Emily's arms and hugged the woman as she sobbed quietly. Emily's hands were coming up and rubbing her back soothingly.</p><p>"We got you a change of clothes. I didn't know what to get you, so I just grabbed three of everything," JJ said and placed the bag on her bedside table.</p><p>"Of course. From the house," Carrie said and sighed. Emily broke away from the girl and looked around the room.</p><p>"It looks like a flower shop in here," Emily said, and her eyes landed on a bouquet of purple flowers. The same one being at the house of the family. The raven-haired woman looked back at JJ. The two noddings, she had noticed it too. JJ took a picture of it and sent it to Hotch. She excused herself and left Carrie and Emily in the room.</p><p>"I want to go to the station with you two," Carrie said and sat up a bit in her bed. Emily looked over at her and furrowed her eyebrows. "I want to help."</p><p>"Carrie, sweetie, it's perfectly fine if you don't. We don't want to rush you into something that can take a lot from you," Emily said and walked over to the girl's bedside.</p><p>"Emily, I need to do this," Carrie said with tears in her eyes. "I was so angry with them before they died. So I need to make this right."</p><p>Emily pursed her lips before handing Carrie her bag. She nodded and excused herself to be outside with JJ. "You ready to go?"</p><p>"Carrie is coming with us," Emily said and pursed her lips. "She wants to do more questioning."</p><p>"Emily, she's just a kid-"</p><p>"I know. But she needs to do this for herself," Emily said and stuffed her hands in her pockets. JJ sighed and shook her head. Just as they were about to talk again, Carrie walked out and smiled softly at the two women. They didn't say another word as they left the hospital and went to the station. When they arrived, the rest of the team met them with several pictures of suspects. Carrie stood over the table and looked through every picture until she came across the right one.</p><p>"Him. It's him," she said as tears filled her eyes.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Emily asked softly. She nodded in confirmation. Hotch and Derek grabbed the picture as they made their way out of the station with an address in hand. Emily stayed behind. "Your parents would be really proud of you."</p><p>"It's too late to be a good daughter now," Carrie said and didn't take her eyes off of the table. Emily's hand was coming up and rubbing her back.</p><p>"That's not true," Emily said and lowered her head to be leveled with Carrie. She shook her head.</p><p>"I was horrible to them. And now they're gone," she said softly. Emily pursed her lips and led Carrie to sit on the chairs behind them. JJ watched them from afar.</p><p>"Carrie, I'm going to tell you a little something personal about myself," Emily said and patted the girl's knee. "My mom is an Ambassador of the United States. It's a tough job. So growing up, I was constantly moving. And I hated it. She and I would always get into fights. Even today, I still don't talk to her. I'm an example of a bad daughter. You fighting with your family before they died does not make you a bad daughter. A bad daughter wouldn't be here trying to put away the men who were responsible for this. A bad daughter would say they got what they deserved. My point is, as a 'bad daughter' myself, families fight. Your parents knew you as the good, strong daughter they raised. No matter the fights and arguments. You are a good daughter because you're here, fighting for them. Please don't drive yourself to insanity trying to figure out why they did this."</p><p>Emily reached over and wrapped her arm around the girl crying. Carrie fell into Emily's embrace and cried softly into her shoulder. "You're a good daughter, Carrie."</p><p>The team had found Gary and Irvin, bringing them in. Carrie and Emily were watching as they were brought in. The younger woman having a weight lifted off of her shoulders. JJ walked over to the two and knelt down in front of Carrie.</p><p>"Hey, honey. Can I talk to you for a second?" she asked softly. Carrie looked over at Emily. The older woman nodded.</p><p>"I'll be over there in that room helping pick up," Emily said and patted Carrie's back. She got up and entered the room with Hotch. She got in front of him and started to help her gather up files. Hotch noticing something bugging the woman.</p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>"I can take her," Emily said as she gathered all the papers in her hands and neatly piled them in a folder. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"Take her?" he asked and stopped all his movements. Emily shrugged.</p><p>"Carrie. To DC to live with me," Emily said and shrugged her shoulders. The man tilting his head.</p><p>"Why would you want to do that?" Hotch asked. JJ walked into the room and paused as she heard the two talking.</p><p>"I have a room, money, and besides, she's a smart girl, in just two years she goes off to college," Emily said and looked up at Hotch. He sighed heavily.</p><p>"Emily, this is the job. And I need to know if you can be objective," he said softly. Emily paused.</p><p>"And I need to know if I can be human," Emily said. "That poor girl lost her whole family. She needs someone there. She's already comfortable with me, Hotch. I don't see what the big deal is."</p><p>"JJ got in contact with her aunt and uncle. They're coming down from California. They'll be here tonight," Hotch said and watched as Emily form a tight smile. She scoffed and looked down at the file in her hand before handing it to Hotch.</p><p>"That's great. You're right. It was a stupid suggestion," Emily said and walked out. JJ hearing the conversation, and her heartbreaking. Emily was so caring and so open to the idea of welcoming Carrie with warm arms. Hotch looked over and locked eyes with JJ. They both nodded and continued packing up.</p><p>"Emily," Carrie called out. The older woman turning and seeing her there with tears in her eyes. "Thank you for staying with me and helping me."</p><p>Emily opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find words as Carrie wrapped her arms around her. The older woman hugging her back tightly, hoping it would piece her back together. "You take good care of yourself, Carrie. Okay?"</p><p>The two pulled away from the other. "I will."</p><p>"And if you need absolutely anything," Emily said and reached into her pocket and grabbed a card of hers. "You call me directly. My door is always open."</p><p>"Thank you," Carrie said and nodded as the sheriffs showed the young woman into a room so she could sleep and wait for her family. Emily pursed her lips.</p><p>The team made their way to the plane. Emily was the first one there, already sullen in her usual seat by the window. Hotch looked back at JJ and nodded. The blonde woman making her way over to Emily and sitting right across from her.</p><p>"Hey," JJ said softly, getting Emily's attention from the window. Emily smiled softly at her. JJ paused for a second as they locked eyes. "Carrie's Aunt and Uncle, they're good people. They'll take care of her."</p><p>"Good, I'm glad," Emily said and parted her lips. The two in silence with one another. JJ settled into her seat before clearing her throat.</p><p>"I think it's a good idea," JJ said and hovered her hand over her mouth. Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "You. Kids. I mean, I can see it."</p><p>Emily had a small smile on her face. "Yeah?"</p><p>"If you have kids, that will be the luckiest child in the world," JJ said and smiled back at Emily. The older woman looked out the window. She missed him and wanted nothing more than a kid at home.</p><p>"I just don't want to mess it up," Emily said softly, more to herself than to anything. "I know what it's like to be a neglected child. It's not fun."</p><p>"I need you to understand one thing," JJ said and looked out the window to see what Emily was looking at. "You're not your mother. You won't mess your kids up. Besides, I think neglected children grow up to be the best parents. They do everything they can for their kids because they know the feeling."</p><p>Emily looked back at JJ and pursed her lips. "Hey, JJ."</p><p>The blonde woman looked over at her and hummed.</p><p>"Thank you," Emily said softly. JJ nodded and got up. She sat down right next to the woman as Emily nuzzled her head into the woman's neck.</p><p>"Anytime," JJ said and fidgeted with Emily's bracelet on her wrist. The older woman falling asleep almost instantly. The comfort of Jennifer Jareau was all she needed to go to sleep.</p><p>Emily: "If you care about someone, you should want them to be happy. Even if you wind up being left out." Stephen Chbosky.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'll never forgive the writers for not making Emily Prentiss a mom so i've taken matters into my own hands 😌 also shit's about to hit the fan👀</p><p>because i’ll be on spring break i’ll try my very best to update daily for the next week but i make no promises 😗</p><p>I'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this story is starting to take a turn. let's see where this goes. i hope y'all don't hate me after this😗</p><p>also if you don't already you guys should go check out my tiktok. i created a new account @theprxntisstrials and i post visuals of these chapters🤍</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing, angsty jemily, heartbreak <br/>word count: 4364</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Derek: "You intoxicated me. It was just as though you were making me love you by some invisible force." F. Scott Fitzgerald. </p><p>Emily walked into the BAU and headed straight for her desk. She set her things down and sighed. JJ and Emily haven't talked since their entanglement. The raven-haired woman wanted nothing more than just going and talking to JJ, but Emily threw that option out the window. She felt like a bit of distance coming between her and JJ. Emily cursed herself and the alcohol for it. She didn't even know or want to think about what JJ thought about this entire situation. Emily bit her lip before saying screw it and headed straight for her office.</p><p>JJ was in her office, looking down at the files in front of her. She couldn't pay much attention because her mind kept going to Emily. The memories of her body and the way she, in general, felt against JJ.</p><p>Her skin tingled at the images of memories flashing in her head. JJ bit her lip. She needed to talk to Emily about this. And as on cue, there was a knock on the door.</p><p>"Come in!" JJ yelled and grabbed a pen to make it seem like she was hard at work. Emily walked in and shut the door behind her. She and JJ locking eyes.</p><p>"We need to talk," Emily said and ran her hand down her pants. She took a seat right in front of JJ. "That's if you want to. But I can't keep walking around the office pretending that nothing happened."</p><p>"Okay?" JJ said and placed down everything in her hands. "What happened was, um, interesting, and fun. It was exciting. You're just amazing. You really know how to take a woman's breath away."</p><p>"So I've been told," Emily said confidently and pursed her lip. JJ smiled down at her files. "Listen, JJ, the last thing I wanted was for that night to change anything between us. I don't see it as a mistake. I just need you to understand something. I really li-"</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Hotch opened the door, his eyes going back and forth between the two women. "There's been a series of murders in the New Orleans area. It came straight to me. We'll all debrief on the plane."</p><p>JJ and Emily both sighed before getting up. They couldn't have one day without any interruptions between the two. Emily didn't say another word as she left her office. The thickness in the air was unsettling. It felt like something was going to go wrong. But the older woman brushed it off and walked into the bullpen, grabbing her bag to head to New Orleans.</p><p>They all gathered into the jet and took off. It didn't take long for them to meet at the local police department. Emily furrowed her eyebrows as she saw a woman she recognized. "Clara?"</p><p>The woman looked up and locked eyes with Emily. The two just standing for a split second before Clara engulfed Emily in a hug. The team was watching as they hugged. JJ watching a little too intensely.</p><p>"Oh God, Emily. It's so good to see you," Clara said and rubbed Emily's back as she broke away.</p><p>"I didn't think you'd come back down to New Orleans. Were you the one who invited us in?" Emily asked. Clara smiled widely at the woman.</p><p>"I would have called sooner if I had known you would be on the team," she said before turning back to the team. "I'm sorry, I'm being rude. I'm Clara Seger. I run the local FBI headquarters here in New Orleans."</p><p>"Nice to meet you. This is SSA's Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, and, uh, Doctor Spencer Reid. Our technical analysis Penelope Garcia will be popping in and out on occasion," Hotch introduced. Clara smiled at all of them before leading them to their crime board set up. JJ had a funny feeling about this woman. She couldn't explain it, but she just did. Maybe it was jealousy, or perhaps intuition?</p><p>"This is William Lamontange Jr.," Clara said and gestured to the man already in the room. He turned and locked eyes with JJ. "This is SSA's Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Doctor Spencer Reid, and Jennifer Jareau."</p><p>"Pleasure," he said and shook her hand. The two holding hands for longer than Emily's liking. Will pulled away before shaking everyone else's hand briefly. "I asked Clara for some help with this. Katrina took a lot of stuff from the folk here in New Orleans. My daddy was one of the many lives lost because of the storm. I made a promise to him once he passed that I would close this last case for him. It stuck with him so much, so he had one piece of information dug into the house as the walls came crashing down."</p><p>"Which was?" Emily asked and furrowed her eyebrows. Will grabbed the picture and showed it to them.</p><p>"Jones," Will said and shook his head. "I've been retracing my daddy's steps, and I've looked in all the databases. I have no idea what he was talking about. But whatever it was, that was his last message to me."</p><p>"We're sorry about your loss," Hotch said and pursed his lips. Will nodded before turning back to the crime board. "Do you mind if we got to take a look at the other crime scenes?"</p><p>"That's the thing. There is nothing. Katrina hit New Orleans pretty bad. All evidence is right here in this room and the one body at the morgue. Other than that, this is all we have to work with," Clara said and sat down on the edge of the table.</p><p>"Derek, you and I can go check out the body in the morgue. Reid start working on a geographical profile. Emily and JJ, go ahead and help the local PD going through the files of either restraining orders or anything that can be tied back to a Jones," Hotch said, and he and Derek walked out. JJ and Emily both sat down, Will on JJ's side and Clara on Emily's.</p><p>"So, BAU?" Clara asked and pulled a handful of files out of the box in front of her. Emily smiled and shook her head. "You always had a thing for being a woman in power. It's not surprising."</p><p>"And I didn't suspect you to run a field office," Emily said and opened one of the files. JJ's jaw clenching.</p><p>"You two know each other?" Will asked and looked over at the two women.</p><p>"Prentiss here was college dorm roommate," Clara said and smiled over at Emily. "She was hot and cold in college. Yale pulled her in one direction, and I pulled her the other."</p><p>"We'd go around the strips and local bars on weekends prowling for drinks and boys," Emily said and shook her head. "But then I got hired at the Bureau, and I made a move to Washington."</p><p>"And since I was born and raised here, I couldn't think of any other place to go," Clara said and shrugged her shoulders. "Well, since I've crossed paths with Emily again, I guess it's not so bad."</p><p>The four left their conversations at that and continued to look through all the paperwork in front of them. JJ stealing glances at Emily as the woman worked. Little did JJ know, the officer beside her was stealing glances too. Will took a liking to JJ. She was gorgeous, intelligent, witty. What was there not to like about JJ?</p><p>The blonde woman was left alone in the room as Clara and Emily went to talk to the victim's family. JJ watched them closely. Clara opening the door for her and smiling widely as Emily walked in before her. The blonde woman clenched her jaw. JJ just shook it off and continued looking through various files.</p><p>JJ saw movement out of the corner of her eye not too long after. She glanced up and saw the two women walking out of the room. Emily talking to one of the sheriffs, and Clara headed over to the coffee pot. JJ stopped all her movement and squinted her eyes at the two women. Clara led Emily to the coffee pot. She watched as Clara handed her a coffee with a hand on her lower back. Emily didn't seem to mind the touch. It was like she was used to it. What hurts the most to JJ is that Emily hadn't even acknowledged her since they've been here all day. Not a glance, not a check-in. Nothing. Granted, they were busy, but even just a simple 'are you okay' would be sufficient.</p><p>"You okay?" a voice asked from behind her. JJ turned around and saw Will standing there, two coffees in his hands. JJ ran a hand through her hair and nodded.</p><p>"Just having thoughts clouding in my head about this case," JJ said and smiled forcefully at Will. He furrowed his eyebrows as he handed JJ a coffee. "Thank you."</p><p>"You're welcome," Will said and smiled shyly. "I didn't know how you normally take your coffee, so I just made it the same as mine."</p><p>"I appreciate the thought," JJ said and smiled back at Will. Emily looked into the conference room right as that smile appeared on JJ's lips. He nodded his head and looked towards the floor. Just as he was about to open his mouth again, there was a large number of phones ringing and pagers beeping. Will grabbed his pager and saw the message.</p><p>"There's another body that just turned up," Will said and placed down his coffee. JJ following after him. She took one step out of the room as she collided with a woman. She looked up to apologize when she furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"Mom?" JJ asked and looked at her in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Oh, Jen, I'm glad I found you. Crystal had her son, and I stay here with her since she got rooms down by the French Quarters. Last night her son, Robby, didn't turn up. I was hoping you could help," her mother, Sandy, said. "She's on her way here now."</p><p>JJ looked over at the detective. He didn't say anything. He knew what JJ was asking. He left the station to see if the newest body was the body of her mother's friend's son. Emily glanced up at JJ as she leads her mother to an interview room. Was she going to meet her mother right now?</p><p>Thankfully, Will had sent a picture of the body to JJ. Her mother and her friend confirming it wasn't her friend's son. JJ left the two in the interview room as she stepped out for some coffee. It was like Will was a mind reader. He was brewing a new pot. JJ's mother was watching them from afar. She noticed how wide the man's smile would get when he was around JJ. Her daughter looked happy as he made her laugh. Sandy not being the only one to notice this behavior. Emily watched them now and then. She couldn't help but feel jealous. What was so special about him that JJ avoided Emily for?</p><p>The team had called it a night. Hotch, Spencer, and Derek all heading to the hotel first. JJ and Emily having no choice but to ride together to the hotel. The entire car ride was quiet. Mainly because of the tension but also because both women were tired. It had been a long twelve hours, and sleep was on their minds. JJ grabbed her bag as she and Emily made their way to the hotel entrance.</p><p>Emily and JJ walked into the elevator. Emily glanced over at her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"</p><p>JJ nodded and hummed. Emily pursed her lips. That wasn't a good sign. The older woman gently placed her hand on JJ's back and stepped in front of her. She raised her eyebrows as JJ looked at her.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?" Emily asked softly. JJ didn't say anything. She was thankful at that moment that the elevator dinged and opened the doors.</p><p>"I think Clara likes you," JJ mumbled as she walked past Emily. She heard it loud and clear. The older woman hot on her trail.</p><p>"JJ, what are you talking about," Emily asked and grabbed hold of JJ's arm to stop her. The blonde woman turning and clenched her jaw.</p><p>"You totally didn't mind when she was openly flirting with you. You didn't bother to check in on me because all of your attention was on her," JJ said continued to walk down the hallway to her room.</p><p>"JJ, she was my best friend in college. We lost touch. But I can assure you nothing is going on. I didn't even notice she was flirting with me! I didn't mean to make you upset," Emily said and tried to reach out for JJ, but she brushed her off.</p><p>"I don't know why I'm getting all upset about it. You're not even my girlfriend," JJ said bitterly as she opened the door. Emily's mouth opened to say something, but JJ had shut the door before she even got the chance to. The older woman closing her eyes and pursed her lips. Emily had fucked up.</p><p>"Come on, JJ, let's talk about this," Emily said softly as she leaned her head against the door. She clenched her jaw as she heard JJ start the water. She wasn't going to come out now. She sighed heavily and left her be, heading to her room.</p><p>Both women were tossing and turning. They hated fighting more than anything. Emily had gotten maybe three hours of sleep before she found herself wide awake once again, staring up at the ceiling. She felt terrible for making JJ feel insecure. That was the last thing Emily never wanted to do. But as much as Emily hated to talk about her feelings, she knew she and JJ would need a heart to heart. She got up and got ready for the day. She made sure to leave early enough to head downstairs and get two coffees from the complimentary coffee carts.</p><p>The older woman rode the elevator up to their floor, anxious thoughts clouding her mind. She took one step out of the elevator when she saw a sight she didn't want to see. Will laughed as he opened the door for JJ. The two hugging tightly at the doorway.</p><p>JJ was right. She couldn't be mad at this moment. They weren't together. Emily sighed softly as she walked back into the elevator and hit the down button to the first floor.</p><p>The doors opened as Clara stood there on her phone. "Good morning, sunshine. I figure you'd want a ride down to the station."</p><p>"That'd be great. Coffee?" Emily asked and handed her the other coffee. Clara gladly took it as the two started to talk mindlessly as they headed out of the hotel and off to the police station.</p><p>The team continued with the case. They had found several leads that lead to basically nowhere. Until Will remembered a crucial part of information. Jones used to be the name of the most popular bar in the french quarters. The team broke off into their pairs. Will and JJ heading to a local bar to grab something to eat and discuss the nature of the case. Meanwhile, Clara and Emily stayed at the station with two burgers from a mom-and-pop shop down the street.</p><p>"I don't think I've ever had a better burger," Emily said as she covered her mouth. The older woman wasn't one to eat fast food every day, but she indulged in it when she did. Clara chuckled as Emily set down the burger.</p><p>"Nothing has changed, has it," Clara said and took a sip from her drink. Emily squinted her eyes.</p><p>"What's that suppose to mean," Emily asked and grabbed a handful of fries. Clara shook her head.</p><p>"You still have that youthful energy to you," Clara said and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think words can describe how much I've missed you and our friendship. That JJ sure is a lucky one."</p><p>Emily raised an eyebrow. Clara looked over at her and scoffed. "Oh, come on, Emily. You didn't think I noticed? She practically drools over you. I mean unless there's another reason she's stand-off-ish with me that you're not sharing."</p><p>"We're not together," Emily said and took a sip of her drink. "Just had a thing once."</p><p>"Well, when a woman looks at you like that. That's not just a one-time thing," Clara said and patted Emily's shoulder as she got up and discarded her trash.</p><p>"I don't know how to do this," Emily said over her shoulder. She would admit; talking about her feelings with Clara was a lot easier than with anyone else. "This relationship with her. We both know I'm not exactly a relationship kind of woman. Besides, I think she's mad at me right now."</p><p>"What did you do?"</p><p>"It's what I didn't do," Emily said and pursed her lips as Clara sat back down. "You know, for me being an expert at body language and behavior, I kick myself sometimes for missing the obvious with my personal life."</p><p>"You haven't told her, have you?" Clara asked and kicked back in her seat. Emily grabbed the last of her burger and stuffed it in her mouth as she shook her head. "I don't have to tell you what to do. You already know."</p><p>"I'm working on it," Emily said. "It'd be easier if she wasn't mad at me right now. But I'll just make sure I tell her before tomorrow. I'm done waiting for another opportunity to tell someone how I feel."</p><p>"There's my girl," Clara said and chuckled. Emily shook her head as she laughed. The two women finished up their food before heading back to the drawing board.</p><p>Meanwhile, across town, Will and JJ sat down and were having a nice lunch together. JJ couldn't help the feeling of Will staring at her left hand.</p><p>"Why haven't you married?" Will asked and furrowed his eyebrows. JJ's face was reading confusion.</p><p>"I guess I just haven't had anyone catch my eye yet," JJ said simply and twirled the pen in her hand around. "I'm just a little lost on how this is about the case."</p><p>"It's not. I'm just flirting," Will said with a small smile. JJ raised her eyebrows. Just as she was about to open her mouth, the bartender placed a plate of chips and salsa down in front of the two.</p><p>"Compliments from the woman in the blue top," he said. Will and JJ both glanced over at the woman who waved to Will. JJ raised her eyebrows.</p><p>"Wow, she's bold," JJ said and scoffed.</p><p>"Just admit you're jealous that another woman is paying attention to me," Will said jokingly. And that's when it hit JJ. The man they were looking for wasn't a man but a woman.</p><p>Will and JJ walked back into the station with a new lead. The team had made their way to the French Quarters. Emily had noticed the closeness of the two. She wanted nothing more but to just take JJ's hand and pull her aside to talk to her. But the way JJ would move away or just wholly be closed off. Emily couldn't win at this.</p><p>The team had gotten the unsub. They had gone back to the station and started to pack up everything. JJ was out in the hallway on a phone call when Emily spotted her. Clara noticed Emily's drifted attention and nudged her. "Just go talk to her."</p><p>Just as Emily made a move, JJ had gotten off the phone and headed towards the interview room her mom and Aunt were in. Emily slugged her shoulders and just continued picking up.</p><p>"Crystal. I reached out to local hospitals. The night Robby went missing, there was a car accident. EMTs rushed a man with the same description as Robby to the hospital. He's in a coma right now. He's listed as a John Doe since they never found his wallet," JJ said and placed her hand on Crystal's shoulder. The woman standing up with tears in her eyes. "He's going to be okay. They're just waiting for him to wake up."</p><p>"You head over there, Crystal. I'll meet you there. I want to spend some time with JJ as much as I can," Sandy said and placed a hand on her daughter's back. The woman was hugging the two before racing out of the station. JJ was left alone with her mother. The oldest Jareau felt eyes on her. When she looked up, she noticed the young detective quickly look away from her and JJ.</p><p>"You should go for him," JJ's mother encouraged and nudged her daughter. JJ furrowed her eyebrows as her mother gestured towards Will. "He hasn't been able to take his eyes off of you. You never know what could manifest from that."</p><p>JJ glanced up at Emily. She and Clara were embraced in a tight hug. The women looked relaxed in the other's arms. JJ huffed as the two pulled away from the other. Clara leaving Emily's side to answer a phone call. The raven-haired woman watching as she walked away.</p><p>"You're right," JJ said and left her mother's side. Emily watched as she made her way across the police station. Will perked up at the sight of JJ walking towards him. She didn't say another word as she pulled him in and kissed him. Her hands coming up to the sides of his face while his hands dropped to her waist.</p><p>Emily watched as the two kissed. Her heart-shattering in multiple pieces. The raven-haired woman didn't stick around for the show and pushed past Derek, Spencer, and Hotch. The three men were turning to see what she was looking at before connecting the dots. Derek and Spencer made a move to chance after Emily, but Hotch stopped them.</p><p>"Finish packing up everything. I got this," Hotch said and turned, following after Emily. The man walked out of the police station and looked back and forth between the two directions she might have gone. He took two steps before hearing a soft sob come from next to the building. Hotch turned the corner and saw Emily there, fanning herself with one hand and trying to cover her crying with the other. The man sighed as he looked at her state. She was devastated.</p><p>Emily heard footsteps coming from behind her. "If you wanted to prove a point, congratulations."</p><p>"I'm just here to check on you," Hotch said softly. Emily turned, not expecting it to be him. She wiped her tears away and tried to make herself look presentable.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I thought you were-"</p><p>"I understand," he said and took another step towards her. Emily shivering as the cold air of the night hit her. Hotch, without a second thought, slipped off his jacket and pulled it over the woman. Emily smiling softly at the gesture.</p><p>"Thanks," Emily said and looked towards her shoes, seemingly; the most interesting thing in the world so she wouldn't have to face Hotch like this.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Emily shook her head no as a tear escaped her eyes. "Emily, I hope you know you can talk to me if need be. Believe it or not, I know the feeling. I just want to make sure you know you have someone to talk to."</p><p>"I appreciate it. But I have to be on a jet with her back home. I don't feel like getting my eyes puffer than they already are," Emily said and chuckled. Humor being her shield of protection. Hotch smiled softly and nodded.</p><p>"I'll have the spot next to me open in case you feel uncomfortable. And please, by all means, take it," Hotch said and smiled softly at Emily. The woman nodded her head and took a step towards him. The two walked into the police center again, gaining a curious eye from everyone as Emily handed Hotch back his jacket. JJ's eyes were trailing from Emily's soft smile to Hotch's bright eyes. She looked away the second Emily caught her staring.</p><p>The team made their way to the hotel and grabbed all of their things before heading to the airstrip. Emily was the last one to board the jet. She looked at the two spots available. The one-seat directly in front of JJ and the one Hotch left open by having his bag there. JJ glanced up at Emily, hoping she would choose this seat.</p><p>The raven-haired woman pursed her lips and sat down right next to Hotch. He quickly moved his bag for the woman. Emily got settled in her seat and pulled out a book that she was reading.</p><p>"Thank you," Emily whispered over to Hotch. The man looking over at her and smiled shyly at her.</p><p>"You're welcome," he said as he turned his attention back to his case files—both opting to ignore the apparent stare coming from the blonde woman across the jet.</p><p>Hotch: You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter." Author Nicholas Sparks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ANGST ANGST ANGST WOOOOHOOO IM SORRY</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so far i've been good about updating daily, we shall see how long that lasts🤪</p><p>also i did what the writers simply couldn't do😚</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: angst, minimal swearing, mentions of smoking<br/>word count: 3944</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily: "You come home, make some tea, sit down in your armchair and all around there's silence. Everyone decides for themselves whether that's loneliness or freedom." Author Unknown.</p><p>Emily sighed as she pulled into the parking lot of the BAU. She had managed to slip under the radar of the team for the weekend. She claimed that she was going out with Clara and some other old friends from college now that the two had gotten back into connection. That wasn't the case. Emily felt ashamed to admit to her team that she was going through a heartbreak. The one where the two of you aren't even dating somehow hurts the most.</p><p>She sat back in her car and bit her lip. She reached up into her sunglasses compartment and grabbed the small carton and lighter. She grabbed a cigarette and placed it between her teeth. Emily rolled down her window slightly before lighting it. She took a deep inhale of the nicotine before releasing it. Her eyes shut as it relaxed her. The raven-haired woman stuck the bud out of the window and flicked away the ashes.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Emily grabbed her phone and answered it with a smile as she saw the name. "Hello?"</p><p>"Hi, mom," the boy said kindly—Emily's heart filling with joy.</p><p>"Hey, honey," Emily said and smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't call this weekend. I was busy with work and some other things I needed to take care of."</p><p>"No, I understand. I'm about to go into school right now, but I wanted to let you know I'm going to have tryouts for the basket team tonight. Can we move the catch-up dinner to tomorrow?" Declan asked and kicked a rock that was under his foot. Emily smiled softly.</p><p>"Of course. How about I go and pick you up instead of us staying over there. I know you've been wanting to come back down to D.C. for the diner. And you better make sure to call me before your tryouts for some words of encouragement," Emily said and placed the cigarette between her teeth, inhaling the nicotine.</p><p>"Sounds great. And I think I got it, mom," he said and laughed.</p><p>"I know you do. I just want to be there any way that I can, Dec," Emily said and exhaled the nicotine. She glanced over at the clock. 8:14. "You go ahead and head off to school—the bells about to ring. Have a good day. Be careful."</p><p>"Bye, mom! Love you!"</p><p>"Love you too, honey," Emily said softly as Declan hung up the phone. She sat there for a second and sighed. She missed her son more than anything as of right now. Although her and Declan's relationship was unusual, the two made it work. She made sure to see him at least once a month. But Emily had made the decision early on as she brought him here to the States that she'd make sure Declan wasn't around to be used as leverage because of her job. Emily had Ian's mindset. If nobody knew about him, nobody could hurt him. Of course, Emily was a lot more involved with Declan than Ian ever was. She made sure to show her love and support in any way she could. And because of that, Declan started proudly calling her mom. He said that she was like a second mother to him after Louis. Emily was almost in tears when he first called her that at eight. Now at ten, things haven't changed. Emily still gets tearful at the sound of mom being called out for her.</p><p>The raven-haired woman got lost in her thoughts as she brought the cigarette back to her mouth before dangling it outside her window, flicking off the ashes.</p><p>"Those are going to kill you, you know," a voice said from beside her. Emily jumped and dropped the cigarette out the window. Hotch chuckled softly at her reaction, stepping on the cigarette to put it out.</p><p>"You scared me," Emily said and exhaled the rest of the nicotine in her lungs. She rolled up the window before opening the door. Hotch held it open for her. She grabbed her bag and locked the car.</p><p>"You doing okay?" he asked as they walked into the building. Emily didn't say anything as she hit the up button. She just took a deep breath. "That bad, huh?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"That's your tell," Hotch said and gestured for her to walk in first as the elevator opened. Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Great, now I have to find a new one," Emily joked and pressed the sixth-floor button. "You have one too, you know. But I won't tell you what it is, or you'll stop doing it."</p><p>"Okay," Hotch said and chuckled. The two were quiet for a split second. "But seriously, Emily, if you need an escape at any point today, feel free to come and find me. People say I'm a great listener."</p><p>"I appreciate it, Hotch. But I don't want to be a burden," Emily said and glanced down at the floor. Hotch looked over at her. She wasn't a burden. Not to him.</p><p>"I hope you don't wholeheartedly believe that because it's not true," Hotch said softly. Emily looked over at him, and her expression softened.</p><p>The elevator doors opened, and JJ stood on the other side. As the two women stood there looking at each other, Hotch wished he was literally anywhere else in the world. Emily walked out of the elevator without saying a word. Hotch looked over at JJ, who had her hands up in the air, and followed after her. He sighed. This wasn't going to be good.</p><p>"Emily," JJ called out as Emily pushed the doors open to the bullpen. Luckily, nobody else was there. "Emily, come on. We need to talk."</p><p>"I don't think that's a good idea. What good could that possibly do?" Emily asked and set her things down. JJ grabbed onto her arm to make her look at her. The older woman pulling away almost immediately.</p><p>"I'm sorry," JJ said, locking eyes with Emily. The second she looked at her, all she saw was the blonde woman making her way through the police station and kissing Will like how she had kissed Emily. Emily shrugged her shoulders.</p><p>"Don't be. I get it," Emily said and pulled away, grabbing her coffee mug from her desk and going to the coffee pot. JJ followed after her.</p><p>"Em, please," JJ said and stood right next to Emily. She took one big deep breath to try to calm herself down, but that only enraged her more.</p><p>"Why did you do it? If you're so sorry? Why did you make a show in kissing him, knowing I was in that fucking building," Emily asked and nearly slammed down her coffee mug. "And if you bring up Clara, I'm walking away. She shouldn't have had any influence on that kiss."</p><p>JJ didn't say anything as Emily placed a hand on her hip and scoffed. "Did you do it to make me jealous? Did you want to prove a point or something? Did you want my attention? Or did you mean it and actually want to kiss him?"</p><p>The blonde woman opened her mouth, but nothing was coming out. Emily huffed out as she poured herself some coffee. She didn't say another word to JJ as she walked away and back towards her desk. JJ was about to chase after her, but Spencer and Derek walked in. JJ sighed softly as she made her way out of the bullpen and towards her office. She shut her door and ran a hand through her hair.</p><p>There were a number of reasons as to why she kissed Will. She liked the attention the man was giving her. He was friendly, charming, and a gentleman. JJ would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't interested in him. But one thing was painfully clear. He was no Emily. There was some truth to those questions Emily asked. She did want to do it to get back at her. Clara didn't sit right with JJ. Maybe that was her own personal bias seated in the back of her mind. She wanted both of their attention. If JJ could, she'd force the two of them into one person so she wouldn't have to choose. They both brought different aspects to the table.</p><p>JJ sat down at her desk and just let her thoughts swirl around in her head. Will. Emily. She wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep to make the overthinking stop. Meanwhile, Emily was feeling the same way. She couldn't wrap her head around her and JJ's relationship, possibly going back to "normal" after all this.</p><p>As much as the two wanted to, the tension and unsettling memories between them were too much for them to bear. Emily tried her best to continue with her work, but she just couldn't do it.</p><p>"You okay?" Spencer asked softly, gaining Emily's attention. The older woman smiled forcefully at him and nodded her head. "I've noticed you haven't turned the page in the file. It's been fifteen minutes and thirty-two seconds. Usually, you only take about eight minutes forty-five seconds to read a report page."</p><p>"It freaks me out how much attention to detail you pay attention to," Emily said jokingly. Spencer pursed his lips. "I appreciate your concern, Reid. But really, I'm fine."</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently. He knew the feeling of people pushing questions onto him. The last thing he wanted was to make Emily feel that way.</p><p>"No offense, Reid, but I just came in to do my job. I really don't feel like talking about my feelings when my head should be in case files. I'm human, they get in the way sometimes, but I came to work, not talk about myself," Emily said and reached her hand out. She kept it there as Spencer gently placed his down on top of hers. He did it to comfort her, no matter how much the touch bothered him. "Thank you."</p><p>"Always," Spencer said and smiled softly at the woman. Emily pulled her hand away and continued with her work. Hotch glanced over out of his office window and saw Emily lost in files. He sighed softly. He wished there was something, anything that he could do to reverse this past week.</p><p>The team was quiet for the rest of the time in the bullpen. Derek and Spencer mutually agreed to grab a burger from the diner down the road. Emily declined to go but ordered a burger for herself. She offered to pay, but Derek declined. A little act of kindness for the woman who looks like she needed sleep.</p><p>Meanwhile, JJ made her way towards the lair. She knocked twice and swiped her card. JJ not even waiting for Penelope to give her the go-ahead and walk-in. Penelope raised an eyebrow as she turned around. JJ just sat down right next to her and sighed. "Rough day?"</p><p>"Something like that," JJ said and shook her head. Penelope pursed her lips as she leaned back and played with the pen in her hand.</p><p>"Talk to me. Being you being sullen like a Cullen isn't helpful in this workspace," Penelope said and patted JJ's lap. The blonde woman shut her eyes.</p><p>"I can't seem to wrap my head around these questions Emily asked me when I tried to talk to her. She was right. I kissed Will out of jealousy and spite. But then there's this lingering thought in the back of my head that is just saying, 'well, it's more than that.' But, Emily. It's Emily, for God's sake. Practically perfect in every department except for the wanting to talk about feelings department," JJ said and ran a hand down her face. "I know I haven't known Will that long but the initial curiosity is there."</p><p>"Well, honeybunch, I hate to break it to you, but either you have to make a decision and relatively quick. Or you have to make amends with Emily. The two of you work together, so that's a relationship you can't afford to jeopardize," Penelope said softly. JJ scoffed.</p><p>"This is why I refused to fall for Emily. I knew something like this would happen. Shit always has to hit the fan in my life," JJ said and shut her eyes. Penelope didn't say anything but just reached her hand over and placed it on top of her best friend's.</p><p>"Were you happy with Emily those couple of weeks you guys were unofficially dating?" Penelope asked. JJ had a single tear escape her eye. She nodded her head without hesitation. "Then it wasn't for nothing. There was a special connection you and Em shared. If you guys go your separate ways, then so be it, but it wasn't for nothing. I'm a firm believer that everyone in your life is supposed to teach you some kind of lesson. Maybe this is yours with Emily."</p><p>JJ didn't say anything as she wiped her tears away. She was right. Penelope was always right. She thanked her best friend quietly before making her way out of the lair. JJ spotted Emily heading towards her office. The blonde woman picking up her walking pace. Just as Emily got to JJ's office, the blonde woman grabbed her and practically pushed her into the office. "JJ!"</p><p>JJ shut the door behind them and sighed. "JJ, what the hell? What are you doing?"</p><p>"Emily, please. Let's just talk. I can't focus until we do, and I think you can't either," JJ said and bit her lip. Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"JJ, I really don't have time-"</p><p>The younger woman didn't say anything as she walked up to Emily and wrapped her arms around her neck. She pulled her in. Their lips collided. Emily's hands wrapping around her waist to keep her there. Their lips connected more frantically. Emily just couldn't shake the thought of the man who was here not too long ago. But the way JJ's lips pressed against hers was so intoxicating, Emily needed more.</p><p>The raven-haired woman backed her up into a filing cabinet behind them and deepened the kiss. JJ almost fell to her knees as Emily's tongue ran over her bottom lip before entering her mouth.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>"Shit," JJ mumbled against her lips. Emily tried to keep her lips on her as JJ pulled away. "Let me get it."</p><p>"JJ no," Emily said softly as the blonde woman walked up to the phone. She grabbed the phone. Emily sighed in disappointment.</p><p>"Jennifer Jareau speaking," JJ said and wiped the edge of her mouth. Emily leaned against the file cabinet and crossed her arms.</p><p>"JJ?" Will said softly. JJ's jaw-dropping. Emily noticed the change in expression. "How you been?"</p><p>"I've been good," JJ said and glanced down at her shoes. Emily's jaw clenched.</p><p>"That's great. Listen, um, one of my buddies wanted me to go up to Washington, d.c. this weekend. I was hoping that maybe I was just going up there to see him," Will said and chuckled slightly. JJ bit her lip as she looked over at Emily.</p><p>"Who is it?" Emily asked and uncrossed her arms.</p><p>"Can I call you about this later, Will?" JJ said softly. Emily heard it loud and clear. Emily's heart pounded at the name. She scoffed and walked out the door without another word. "Wait, Emily!"</p><p>"Emily?" Will asked and furrowed his eyebrows. JJ pulled the phone as far as it could go. "JJ, I'm about to head back into the station right now. I need to know. And I, can't you out of my head. I just need to see you again. Can I see you?"</p><p>JJ ran a hand through her hair.</p><p>Emily stormed into the bullpen. Derek and Spencer had their eyes widened as Emily marched up the stairs to Hotch's office. She didn't even knock as she opened the door.</p><p>"I need to take the rest of the day off," Emily said and walked into Hotch's office. The man looked up at her. She was crying. Emily finally came to her senses, and her stance changed as her eyes softened. "Aaron, please."</p><p>Hotch nodded. He watched Emily as she thanked him and practically ran down the stairs. She grabbed her bag and was out of sight as fast as she came in it. He glanced over at Derek and Spencer, who both had looks of confusion on their faces. Hotch got up and walked out of his office, and leaned over the railing. "I need either the both of you or just one of you to go after work and check on Emily."</p><p>"Is she okay?" Spencer asked softly. Hotch pursed his lips. That was an answer in itself. He didn't say anything as he walked back into his office. Derek and Spencer both looked back at the other. This wasn't good. Everyone went back to their work, trying to ignore the loneliness of Emily missing.</p><p>Not too long later, JJ stormed into the bullpen. She looked at Emily's desk and furrowed her eyebrows as it was empty. She walked up to Hotch's office and knocked on the door before entering it. Hotch looked up at her. "You okay?"</p><p>"Where is she? Where's Emily?" JJ asked and crossed her arms. Hotch clenched his jaw before standing up.</p><p>"Have a seat," he said and shut the door behind her. JJ sat down and sighed heavily. Hotch took his seat across from her. "You need to give Emily some space."</p><p>"Hotch, I just need to talk to her," JJ said and ran a hand through her hair. "I messed up."</p><p>"You need to treat this like we're dealing with an explosive unsub," Hotch said and interlaced his fingers together. "Emily isn't an unsub, but with explosive behavior, we know how this kind of thing can just blow up. She can have her judgment clouded and do risky behavior out in the field. Emily could become trigger happy or put herself in high-risk situations."</p><p>"She wouldn't do that, Hotch," JJ said and glanced up at him.</p><p>"How can you be certain of that? We all do things we're not proud of when we're in a mindset of loneliness," Hotch said and tilted his head. "I'm not judging your relationship with Emily. But I am saying that if need be, I have to step in and right the wrongs. I need you to understand something. The dynamic of this team is critical. In this team, relationships are always a toss-up if they'll be good or bad. If tensions get too high with you and Emily, you'll give me no choice but to remove you two from each other here in the office and out in the field. Please don't let it come to that point."</p><p>"You just said I couldn't see her," JJ said and scoffed. She sat back and crossed her arms.</p><p>"No, I said to give her some space. If the roles were reversed, I don't think you'd be too fond of Emily suffocating you with questions. I'm doing the same thing, but we both need to let her sit for a minute," Hotch said and glanced over at Derek and Spencer. They were fast at work. "Derek and Spencer are going by tonight just to check on her. The rest of the week, just keep your distance. Please."</p><p>"What do I do?" JJ asked and wiped the tear that escaped her eye.</p><p>"What feels right. You and Emily were best friends before your relationship started. With time, I think the two of you can be around each other like nothing happened. That's if that's what the both of you want. But this back and forth can't keep happening between the two of you," Hotch said softly. "Again, space is necessary with these types of relationships."</p><p>JJ nodded her head. She couldn't form any words and just thanked Hotch quietly. She walked out of the office without another word. Derek and Spencer both glancing up at JJ as she walked by.</p><p>"I got it," Derek said and threw his pen down. He followed after JJ. Hotch and Spencer both watched them as they exited the bullpen.</p><p>A couple of hours had passed, and the three men in the bullpen got up and gathered all their things. Derek and Spencer both made their way out of the building and into the older man's car. They opted to stop by Emily's favorite Chinese restaurant for her favorite: kung pao chicken and chow mein.</p><p>They made sure to stop by the local gas station to grab a case of cheap beer. The gas station clerk was chuckling as Spencer set down the container of beer in front of him. Apparently, Spencer looked no more than fifteen to the man behind the counter. It wasn't until he showed him his ID that that changed.</p><p>The two made their way to Emily's apartment building. Right away, Spencer noticed her car wasn't there. Derek pulled into a visitor's parking space and grabbed his phone.</p><p>Emily pulled out her ringing phone and sighed.</p><p>"Hey," Emily said softly and pressed the phone to her ear.</p><p>"Hey, where are you?" Derek asked. Emily ran her tongue over her canine teeth.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Emily asked.</p><p>"Reid and I came over for a movie, beer, and Chinese food," Derek said. "But we're missing one key thing, you. So where are you?"</p><p>"I'm a little busy. I uh, met someone at a club. I just needed to take my mind off of things. You guys come over tomorrow for pizza and beer. I'll make it up to you then," Emily said and glanced back in the gym. "I gotta go. I love you guys."</p><p>Derek furrowed his eyebrows as she hung up the phone. He and Reid both shrugged their shoulders and opened the boxes of food.</p><p>Emily sighed softly and made her way to the bleachers at the top. She sat down, and her eyes swept the gym floor. Her eyes landed on him. Declan waved at his mom before being passed the ball. Emily interlocked her fingers and held them to her face. She watched over him as he dripple the ball. The woman stayed there the entire tryouts, just watching over him.</p><p>"Mom!" Declan yelled and ran up to Emily. The woman smiled as he embraced her. "What are you doing here? I wasn't supposed to see you until tomorrow!"</p><p>"I couldn't wait to see you. I figured I'd come and see your tryouts. You and I can go down to The Bagel Cafe for something quick to eat," Emily said and pushed back his hair from his face. "How does that sound?"</p><p>"Awesome," Declan said and adjusted the bag on his shoulder.</p><p>"Come on, little man," Emily said and led him to her car. The woman finding peace as she started the car and headed to the local diner.</p><p>Penelope: "Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses." Author Unknown.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>don't mind me; being the savior and giving the people what they WANT Mom!Emily🤩</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm meh about this chapter but were in the process of going from Jemily to Hotchniss and i'm excitedddd. i love both ships so it'll be interesting to write both. and no, i'm not going to spoil anything about this book on social media or through private messages. you'll have to see!😚</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, angst, jealousy<br/>word count: 3855</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spencer: "People start to heal the moment they feel heard." Cheryl Richardson. </p><p>Emily walked into the BAU with a heavy sigh. She didn't want to come to work today after what happened last week with JJ. She set down her coffee and croissant that she got for herself. Emily wanted today to start off well. A little pastry never hurt anyone. The raven-haired woman sat down at her desk and took a bite of the pastry. She shut her eyes, a moment's peace like this is sometimes all you need.</p><p>"Good morning," Hotch said from behind her. The man smiled softly at Emily.</p><p>"Good morning, Hotch," Emily said back and smiled at him. The man walking right past her and up the stairs to his office. Emily's eyes shifted down to her work before going back up to Hotch. She grabbed her coffee and croissant and walked up to his office. She knocked twice, causing him to look up. "Hey, do you have a minute?"</p><p>"Yeah, what's going on?" Hotch asked and gestured for her to sit down. Emily shut the door behind her and sighed as she sat down. "You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, I just needed to talk. You did say you were a good listener," Emily said and chuckled. Hotch smiled back at her.</p><p>"Good, I've needed to do an assessment on you," Hotch said and grabbed a pen. Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm kidding. I just need to make sure you're okay."</p><p>"Your sense of humor is starting to unravel," Emily said and rolled her eyes. Hotch chuckled as he set his pen down. The two just stared back at the other, waiting for someone to make a move. "I would appreciate it if everyone around here stops talking to me like a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum. I've had the rest of last week and the weekend to cool down. I'm okay now. I just hate everyone calling and texting and showing up at my apartment, asking if I'm okay when I'm perfectly fine. That includes in the office too."</p><p>"I'll make you a deal. I'll stop talking to you like a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum on one condition," Hotch said. Emily took another bite out of her croissant and nodded. "You're going to feel fine around her for the first couple of days. Maybe you'll go the rest of the week. But when you're having a bad day, you just let me know."</p><p>"That's it?" Emily questioned and raised her eyebrows. Hotch nodded. "That went a lot better than I expected."</p><p>Emily turned her attention to the bullpen. JJ, Spencer, Morgan, and Garcia all walked in together. The sight of the four of them brought a smile to Emily's face. Her thoughts were slowly taking over—the what if's and if only's taking her vision of the four for a turn. Hotch noticed and shuffled his chair, gaining Emily's attention.</p><p>"Do you need me to do anything?" Hotch asked and tilted his head slightly. Emily had tears in her eyes already. She hated how her emotions got the best of her sometimes. Hotch didn't say anything as he stood up and sat at the edge of his desk. "I can get you another croissant or maybe a coffee?"</p><p>"I'd ask for a hug, but you don't seem like the hugging type," Emily said jokingly and wiped her tear away. Hotch sighed softly and held his hand out for Emily. The raven-haired woman furrowed her eyebrows as she took it. He stood her up and wrapped his arms around her waist. Emily being taken back slightly, but she was moved by the gesture and wrapped her arms around his neck. Emily shut her eyes as she felt Hotch rub her back soothingly. The two's bodies were melting perfectly together in the hug. It was like Emily's body was the mold that was needed to complete Hotch. It was a strange feeling, to say the least. Emily just relaxed into the peculiar new comfort she found in Hotch. "Thank you."</p><p>The two stayed like that for a couple of seconds. Meanwhile, outside the team, all had their eyebrows raised as they watched the two agents hug. Derek was looking around and rubbing his eyes to make sure he saw the right thing.</p><p>"And for the record," Hotch said, pulling back to look at Emily. The woman wiping away her tears. "I am the hugging type."</p><p>Emily chuckled as Hotch smiled.</p><p>"Well, this is interesting," Derek said and raised his eyebrows. Emily walked out and saw the four-team members scramble to try and make it seem like they weren't just intensely watching the two through the window. Emily smiled and said a soft good morning to all of them before sitting down at her desk once again, coffee and croissant in hand. JJ glanced over at her as she sat at Spencer's desk.</p><p>Please just lookup.</p><p>Emily felt a pair of eyes on her. It didn't take a profiler or a genius to know who was staring at her. It seems like nowadays, that's all she and JJ do now. Just stare and hope the other receives this telepathic message.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Emily pulled her phone out and smiled at the name.</p><p>"Hey you," Emily said and smiled. She heard chuckling on the other side of the line.</p><p>"Hey," Clara said softly. "How are you doing?"</p><p>"I'm holding up. How are you?" Emily asked, gaining the attention of her team members. Garcia's mind was already making a mental note to hack into her phone and see who it was if Emily didn't tell them.</p><p>"Good. Actually excited," Clara said and sipped her coffee. Emily pursed her lips.</p><p>"Yeah? Why is that?"</p><p>"I'm going up to D.C. in about two hours. I'll be there for about two days. And I can't just make a trip there without seeing you. So, what are you doing tonight?" Clara asked and bit her lip. Emily's eyes widened. JJ noticed this and started to bounce her leg up and down anxiously.</p><p>"I can get off at about seven?" Emily said and smiled softly. The team was now entirely looking at her.</p><p>"Sounds great, I'll go to the headquarters, and we'll go from there," Clara said and smiled. "I gotta run. I'll see you tonight."</p><p>"Bye," Emily said and hung up the phone. She glanced up and saw four sets of eyes on her now. She furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"</p><p>"Who was that?" Derek asked suggestively.</p><p>"Nobody," Emily said with a forced smile. Hotch walked out of his office and called for JJ. The blonde woman forcing a smile as she got up from Derek's desk. Emily waited until she was in Hotch's office to relax finally. "It was Clara."</p><p>"Okay, and you couldn't say this in front of JJ because?" Derek asked and crossed his arms. Emily sighed.</p><p>"I'd rather not bring up that she's coming to headquarters since she's one of the reasons JJ and I had a falling out," Emily said and tilted her head back against the chair. "Besides, I wanted to have a good morning; that's why I stopped for a croissant. JJ and I haven't fought, and we're just starting to get used to being in the same area again."</p><p>"Sugarplum, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you think the both of you aren't fighting, you're crazy," Penelope said and pursed her lips. "You guys won't even look at each other in the eye. You'll have to learn to be around each other eventually again."</p><p>"And I'm working on it," Emily said and rubbed her temples. "It's kinda hard when the person you have feelings for makes a show about kissing someone else right in front of you. Why doesn't anyone understand that? I'm trying my best with hawk eyes on me all the God damn time, for fucks sake."</p><p>Emily didn't say another word as she stood up and grabbed her half-empty coffee cup. She made her way to the coffee pot, leaving the rest of the team there a little speechless. Derek was the bold one and stood up, making his way towards the ticking time bomb of a woman. Emily sighed softly as she saw him approaching her. "I'm sorry-"</p><p>"Don't," Derek said and held a hand up. Emily sighed and leaned against the counter. "I understand perfectly about you snapping. It's going to take time. I get that. But please don't feel the need to shut out all of us. We all want to be there for you and her, Emily. But you'd have to make a move of forgiveness too. I talked to JJ the day you left early. She feels terrible about what she did, princess. Hey, maybe the two of you weren't supposed to be together romantically. But one thing is for sure, you two platonically out in the field and in here together, that's magic in itself. Nobody is saying you have to go back to your old ways with her of being attached at the hip, but what we are saying is that the two of you will find your way back to each other again."</p><p>"She kissed me again," Emily said simply. Derek pursed his lips. "And I have no idea why but I kept her there until she pulled away. I kissed her hard, and I don't know why I did that. But I think I just kept telling myself that she enjoyed this kiss with me more than with Will. But that didn't erase the image of them together in my head as I was kissing her."</p><p>"You love her. There's no shame in admitting it," Derek said and shrugged his shoulders. "How about you, the brainiac, and I go out for lunch together? My treat to take your mind off of things."</p><p>"Okay fine," Emily said and smiled softly. Derek nodded and turned to walk away. "Derek?"</p><p>He turned around and tilted his head. Emily walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. The man not even hesitating to pull her into a hug. Emily sighed softly. "Thank you. I feel like I'm hugging everyone today."</p><p>"Yeah, what was with that hug between you and Hotch?" Derek asked as he pulled away. Emily didn't even know what to say as she glanced up at his office. He was walking back and forth, looking through a file. Emily smiled softly at his nervous tick. Hotch felt someone staring at him and looked out the window. He locked eyes with Emily and smiled softly. The raven-haired woman was doing the same. Derek feeling like a third wheel. "Emily?"</p><p>"Hm? Oh uh, yeah, lunch. That's great," Emily said and patted Derek's shoulder as she walked by him. She sat back down and continued her work now that everyone's attention was on something else now.</p><p>Derek furrowed his eyebrows. Hotch smiled at Emily. Hotch, Mr. I don't smile or show anyone I have any sort of emotions, smiled at Ms. I don't like to talk about my feeling ever but just project my thoughts into other people's emotions. Derek immediately knew something was up. He brushed it off and walked back to his desk, opening up his case files.</p><p>The trio sat in silence for the remainder of the time before lunch. They would only break into a conversation when talking about cases and poking fun at Reid. He was the baby of the group; it was a given it would happen. The two men had done quite the job of making Emily forget about the troubles that would usually torment her mind. Hotch would glance over from time to time to check in on her. He was worried about Emily. This kind of situation can be a real turning point on agents leaving the bureau. It was a unique situation happening, but great agents leave all the time because of explosive behavior. Hotch prayed silently that that wouldn't be the case for Emily. She was an essential asset to this team.</p><p>Hotch had taken the liberty of ordering food for himself at the office as the rest of the team broke off into their own lunch plans. But eventually, they all found themselves back at the office.</p><p>Emily made her way to the bathroom and hovered herself over the sink. She took a deep breath. Grounding herself was a way Emily stayed sane in this job. She shut her eyes and relaxed back into her positive headspace.</p><p>"Love you, mom!" Declan shouted as he ran from the car. Emily smiled at him as he ran into the house and hugged Louise tightly. "Bye!"</p><p>Emily opened her eyes and saw blonde hair in the corner of her eye. She sighed softly. "You okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine," Emily snapped back. She shut her eyes and licked her lips. She hated people asking her that now. "I'm sorry."</p><p>JJ leaned against the wall and played with the necklace around her neck. Emily tried to calm herself down for a few seconds longer.</p><p>"You reek of cigarettes," JJ said, barely above a whisper. "I didn't know you smoked."</p><p>Emily opened her eyes and straightened out her appearance. "I've found my love for nicotine again. Is that such a big deal?"</p><p>"No. I'm just saying I didn't know," JJ said simply and crossed her arms. Emily glanced over at her. Even when Emily was upset with her, JJ still looked gorgeous.</p><p>"There's a lot about me you don't know," Emily said softly. The two women stood there in silence. You could hear a pin drop.</p><p>"How was lunch?" JJ asked.</p><p>"Jesus fucking Christ, did Hotch put you up to this?" Emily asked and ran a hand down her face. JJ clenched her jaw. "All of these questions are going to make me go insane."</p><p>"I'm just asking, Emily," JJ said more sternly. "I'm trying to start up a conversation with you as friends do."</p><p>"Friends," Emily said and forced a smile. "Yeah, right."</p><p>"What is it that you want from me?" JJ asked and took a step towards her. "I'm trying my best, Emily. That's all I'm asking for you to do as well."</p><p>"I am trying. Does nobody understand that?" Emily asked and clenched her jaw. "I can't go five fucking minutes without anyone asking if I'm okay or if I need anything. I'm trying to drown out memories, not constantly being asked to bring them up again."</p><p>JJ looked down at the floor. Emily didn't say another word as she left the restroom. JJ stood there and ran a hand down her face.</p><p>The raven-haired woman pushed the door open to the bullpen. She took two steps in before she met with a small surprise.</p><p>"Emmy!" a voice squealed from the side of her. Emily bent down and caught the young boy racing towards her. Tiny arms wrapped tightly around her neck. She stood up and wrapped her arms around the small body.</p><p>"Oh, my little munchkin!" Emily said back, and Jack squealed as she tickled him. The sight endeared a woman next to them. Emily looked over Jack's shoulder and smiled at the woman.</p><p>"You must be Emmy," she said with a hand extended out. Emily chuckled.</p><p>"Emily, actually. But all the kids call me Auntie Emmy," Emily said and shook her hand. Haley laughed.</p><p>"I'm Haley, Jack's mom," she said brushed the boy's hair back. Hotch glanced outside of the window and nearly shot up out of his chair.</p><p>"Haley?" Hotch asked and shuffled down the stairs. He smiled as Jack reached out for him. The raven-haired woman setting him down. He immediately ran into Hotch's arms. Emily was looking back and forth between the two of them. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Jack couldn't stop talking about visiting his Auntie Emmy. I had to call Aaron to see if he was making someone up. But he figured he wanted to see you," Haley said and chuckled. Hotch walked up to the two, and Jack immediately reached out for Emily.</p><p>"We need to go talk. Can we do it up in your office?" Haley asked. Hotch's body was practically jolting with nerves. "Emily, do you mind watching him for a minute?"</p><p>"No, of course," Emily said and placed Jack down. The little boy wrapping his arms around Emily's legs. "You want to color again, Jack? I brought more color pens."</p><p>He nodded, and Emily lifted him up onto her lap as they sat down. "Oh, and buddy, I have a surprise for you. Ever since your dad let me babysit you the first time, I have been saving snacks for you just in case you came by. I have fruit snacks, granola bars, and trail mix. What do you want?"</p><p>"Fruit snacks," Jack said softly. Emily grabbed them from her second cabinet drawer. Derek and Spencer both looking at each other. They knew where to get snacks from now.</p><p>"Don't even think about stealing Jack's snacks," Emily said and glared at the two grown men. They both groaned, making her and Jack giggle.</p><p>Haley and Aaron both watched them from his office window. Their hearts were melting at the woman doing the absolute best and ensuring their son was comfortable and having a good time.</p><p>"She's a good one," Haley said softly and smiled. "But I guess you already knew that. You have a touch for choosing motherly women."</p><p>Hotch glanced over at her. "What are you talking about?"</p><p>"Listen, Aaron, it's good you've started to date again. It's healthy. Jack is already extremely comfortable around her, and she's amazing with him," Haley said and sat down. Aaron chuckled.</p><p>"Um, Haley, I'm not—not seeing Emily. She's just an agent that works for me," Hotch said and sat down across from her. Haley's eyebrows raised while her jaw dropped.</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed since Jack couldn't stop talking about 'Emmy' that she was a girlfriend of yours," Haley said and shrugged her shoulders.</p><p>"No, just an agent," Hotch said softly. His hands came up and interlocked in front of him. "So what was it that you wanted to talk about?"</p><p>"Just that. I figured to drop him off here so he could see her before you got your visitation," Haley said and glanced out of the window again. Emily and Jack were coloring. The raven-haired woman throwing a fruit snack at Derek for some remark he made. Hotch watched her too. He was captivated by the sight in front of him.</p><p>Luckily for Emily, she was able to do both work and manage to take care of Jack as he sat on her lap, coloring away. Derek and Spencer both watched her as she worked. The presence of a child always brought out the loving nature Emily had.</p><p>"Hey, Prentiss," Derek said. Emily looked up at him. "You would make a perfect mom."</p><p>Emily's face had a growing smile on it. "I've always wanted kids of my own. But I'm perfectly happy just being Auntie Emmy for right now."</p><p>"They love you. Every kid you meet," Spencer said and smiled softly. "When I have kids, you'll be the first person I call to babysit."</p><p>"Excuse you. What about me?" Derek asked and crossed his arms.</p><p>"A close tie for the last place," Spencer said and chuckled. Emily laughed as Derek threw a paper at him.</p><p>"That's cold. Jack, are you hearing this!" Derek asked, making the boy in Emily's lap laugh. Emily was ruffling his hair.</p><p>Haley had come out of the office and said her goodbyes to her son. She thanked Emily for watching over him for them before leaving. Hotch looked down at the boy, almost falling asleep in Emily's arms.</p><p>"Em, I can get him now," Hotch said and sat down at the edge of her desk. Emily looked down at Jack, almost asleep. "I don't want him to be a bother."</p><p>"Of course he's not. You go finish that mountain. I'll come to get you when Clara comes by," Emily said and shooed him off. Hotch thanked her quietly before leaning over and kissing Jack on the head. Emily's heart was fluttering at the sight.</p><p>A few hours had passed, and Jack was still peacefully asleep in Emily's arms. She admitted that having him there with her was soothing. She never got to work like this with Declan. Children were Emily's vice. She loved them as if each one she met was her own.</p><p>It was about to be seven o'clock when Hotch came back down and got Jack from Emily. The boy was whining in protest as he left the comfort of Emily's shoulder. Emily gave him a quick kiss on the head before Hotch said his goodbyes to the team still there.</p><p>Meanwhile, Clara had just gotten out of her cab and headed into the building. She hit the elevator button up and fixed her appearance slightly. The doors had opened when Clara heard heels clicking beside her.</p><p>"Clara?" JJ asked as she made her way to the elevator. The woman standing in there sighed.</p><p>"Agent Jareau," Clara said and forced a smile. JJ gulped. This was going to be an interesting elevator ride.</p><p>"What are you doing here? I thought you'd be back in New Orleans?" JJ asked and entered the elevator.</p><p>"Back?"</p><p>"Emily said that you were-never mind," JJ said and looked to the ground as the doors closed. Well, that's a lie JJ caught her in.</p><p>"How was Will?" Clara asked. JJ glanced over at her. She didn't even look at her, just straight ahead.</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," JJ said and leaned against the elevator wall. Clara scoffed.</p><p>"Cut the crap, Jareau. He practically told the whole French Quarter about the FBI woman from Pennsylvania that he somehow managed to score with," Clara said and glanced up at the numbers. Fourth floor. "Nobody believed him except for me. Emily called me that weekend and told me everything about what had happened."</p><p>"Has she said anything else?" JJ asked softly.</p><p>"Nothing that concerns you," Clara said coldly as the elevator doors opened. She didn't say anything as she walked out of the elevator and into the bullpen.</p><p>Emily and her embraced in a hug as she grabbed her bags. JJ sighed heavily. Emily looked like a weight had lifted off her shoulders when she was around the brunette woman. That weight being JJ. She even knew that.</p><p>JJ: "Some people there's no getting over." Lisa Kleypas.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>it won't be angsty for long anymore i promise...it'll just amplify 🤩</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yours truly isn't feeling the greatest. i think i caught the stomach bug i had earlier this year again🙃 </p><p>but regardless, i'm proud of myself for updating daily, someone be proud 😌 </p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: minimal cursing, mentions of drinking, cigarette smoking, mentions of violence <br/>word count: 3657</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hotch: "It's only once in a while that you see someone whose electricity and presence matches yours at that moment." Charles Bukowski.</p><p>"Let me go in alone," Emily said and placed her hands on her hips. </p><p>"The boy's in the family room, and he'll answer the door."</p><p>"No," Strauss said and crossed her arms.</p><p>"We need to get invited in that door. He's looking for young female authority figures. That's me. If he lets me in, I can signal as soon as I see anything that gives us cause. If you want to fire me for going through with that, you be my guest. But I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and do nothing when there's a woman in that house who needs our help," Emily said and grabbed the gun Derek handed her.</p><p>Hotch looked over at Strauss. "Aaron Hotchner, control your agent."</p><p>"She's right," he said and reached into the car and got Emily an earpiece and a signal device. "I trust Agent Prentiss's abilities and her intuitions. We both know we need to make this arrest legal. Nobody knows that more than me. She's the only woman here that can be let in."</p><p>Strauss crossed her arms as Hotch handed her the earpiece. Emily tucking the gun behind her back.</p><p>"Give me the signal and get out of there. I don't want you in there for any more time than necessary," Hotch said, and Emily nodded as she walked off. Hotch observed her as she knocked on the door. It wasn't long until the little boy answered the door.</p><p>"Hi. Are you David?" Emily asked and crouched down to be eye level with the blonde boy. "I'm Emily. Your dad asked me to come by."</p><p>"He's busy," the boy said shyly.</p><p>"Would it be okay if I came in and waited?" Emily asked. David shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>"I guess so," he said as he stepped aside and let the woman in the house. Emily thanked him as he shut the door behind her. He locked the door with his keys before turning back to Emily. "My dad says it's unsafe to leave your door unlocked."</p><p>"Smart man," Emily said to herself. She glanced around the room, her heart rate picking up. "So, where is your dad?"</p><p>"He's working in there," David said and pointed at a door beside the staircase. Emily locked her eyes on it.</p><p>"Is he alone?" Emily asked. David didn't say anything and continued watching his television. He played with his fingers as Emily looked down at him. She backed up towards the door. "Would it be okay if I just go down there and let him know I'm waiting?"</p><p>"He doesn't let me go down there when he's working," David said softly.</p><p>"Oh, no, you don't have to. Um, I'm just going to go and see if he's too busy. And we both can be really quiet, okay? Can you be quiet?" Emily asked as she reached the door. David nodded as he watched the woman turn and reach behind her as she entered the room.</p><p>Emily burst through the door with her gun drawn. The woman who was tied up had her eyes widened. Emily turned and was caught off guard by a wooden plank hitting her on the head. She fell back, losing her gun as her head started spinning. She saw the little boy enter the room.</p><p>"Who is she? Where did she come from?" the father yelled. David had fear in his eyes.</p><p>"She said she was a friend of yours," he said simply. Emily tries her best to get up, but the raging headache wasn't allowing it.</p><p>"Take it. Take it!" the father yelled. The young boy being pulled and given the gun. He aimed it right at Emily. The raven-haired woman held her hand up. "Point it right at her. Keep your finger on the trigger."</p><p>"No, no," Emily said softly as she tried to back away. The dad got behind her and tried to hold her down. Emily managed to reach her hand down and signal Hotch.</p><p>"Go!" Hotch yelled as he kicked down the door. In a matter of seconds, the house was full of police and FBI personal.</p><p>Derek and Hotch burst through the door. Derek was pointing the gun at the kid while Hotch had his jaw locked at the unsub. He saw Emily bleeding on the floor, and his blood boiled.</p><p>"Drop it, kid," Derek said softly. David was shaking as he held the gun to Morgan. Derek was crouching down slightly to be eye level with him. "Drop the gun."</p><p>Derek gently reached his hand out and grabbed the gun from the boy. The father was enraged that he didn't shoot either of the FBI agents. He was about to lunge at the boy when Hotch grabbed him. His hands balled up in the unsub's shirt and slammed him, face first, against the wall. The man was groaning as Hotch handcuffed him. "You're going to break my fucking nose."</p><p>"You murdered several women and hit one of my agents over the head. You're lucky I don't break more," Hotch gritted through his teeth as he handed him off to the police officers. JJ and Spencer both entered the room.</p><p>"Emily," JJ said and knelt down to the woman. Emily's head was still spinning as she grabbed onto JJ. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine," Emily said and winced as she sat up. She grabbed onto JJ's hand as JJ pulled her to her feet. JJ made sure to steady her as she nearly toppled over.</p><p>"I'm calling an ambulance," Spencer said as JJ pulled Emily up the stairs with her. Hotch behind the two of them just in case Emily fell over. It had been a week since the two's last conversation. The team all raised their eyebrows as Emily had let JJ take care of her. She wouldn't let JJ go near her for the previous few weeks, let alone actually place her hand on her. Hotch smiled, baby steps in the reunion. That's all anyone could ask for.</p><p>"Aaron, a word," Strauss said as soon as the team stepped foot outside. JJ nodded towards Hotch as the ambulance pulled up. Emily glancing over at Hotch as JJ lead her towards the EMTs.</p><p>"Almost there. I got you," JJ said and finally sat Emily down on the back of the ambulance. She finally got a good look at Emily's cut. Emily catching her analysis.</p><p>"That bad, huh?" Emily said softly. She reached up and wiped away a tiny amount of blood that trailed down to her temple. "Thank you for walking me over here."</p><p>"You're welcome," JJ said softly. The two women smiled shyly at the other before the EMT came in. JJ excused herself, not wanting to stick around for Emily's sake. Emily would be the first to admit she missed the blonde woman. JJ's presence always made people feel good.</p><p>"How's your head?" Hotch asked as he walked up to Emily. The raven-haired woman sighed.</p><p>"I'll live," Emily said and looked up at him.</p><p>"She'll need a couple of stitches, but that's about it," the paramedic said and grabbed a swab with medication on it to stop the bleeding.</p><p>"I did it," Emily said and winced as the man applied the medicine on her. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows. Emily smirked at his look of confusion. "You said you trust me."</p><p>Hotch's face softened. Emily chuckling as she saw the man relax. "I think he hit you a little too hard. I never said that."</p><p>"Yeah, right," Emily said and smiled. Hotch chuckled as the EMT looked back and forth between the two.</p><p>"Take care of her, please. She's the best we have," Hotch said to the EMT. Emily watched him as he walked away. The man turned back quickly. "Let's go to O'Keefe's tonight, my treat."</p><p>"I got hit over the head with a wood plank. You better promise me nachos," Emily said jokingly. Hotch smiled as he walked away. From afar, the rear of the team watched the interaction. Hotch was looking a lot happier for whatever reason. All eyes darted back and forth between the two.</p><p>The team had gone back to the hotel and waited until Emily was given the go-ahead and got discharged for her stitches. The team didn't waste any time as they picked up Emily and headed to the airstrip. They all broke off into their own little worlds on the jet. It wasn't long until they landed and were at the BAU closing everything up.</p><p>"At least you'll be left with a nice-looking scar," Derek said and chuckled as Emily rolled her eyes. "Come on, Prentiss. People love a badass with scars. It could earn you more brownie points with whoever you're going to sleep with."</p><p>"Actually, if it heals correctly, most likely Emily wouldn't even have a scar there," Spencer said and sat down in his seat. "For right now, you just look ridiculous with that big white bandage on your head."</p><p>"You two always know the words to say to make me feel so much better," Emily said jokingly. The two laughing as JJ walked in.</p><p>"You guys almost ready?" JJ asked and adjusted the bag on her shoulder. They all nodded and grabbed their things. JJ felt her phone buzz and fished it out of her purse.</p><p>Will: I miss you. Come down to New Orleans for the weekend. I can pay for the train ride or flight.</p><p>Emily's eyes went from JJ's face down to her phone and then back up. She had a feeling she knew who it was that she was talking to. Clara had told Emily about their weekend together here in Washington, d.c. Of course, she didn't go into details of what Will said for Emily's sake, but she knew they were still seeing each other. JJ looked up right as Emily looked away. The raven-haired woman acting like she wasn't staring at JJ. Hotch came down as Penelope came out from her lair.</p><p>Emily, Derek, and Spencer went in one car. Hotch, JJ, and Penelope in the other. They had made their way into the bar. Emily and Hotch, this time, were deemed designated drivers by their group. The two watched them as they took shots and danced on the small dance floor. Hotch looked over at Emily.</p><p>"You sure you want to be designated driver?" Hotch asked and nudged her. "I don't think I've ever seen you miss an opportunity to have a drink."</p><p>"I'm trying to lay off of alcohol for a bit," Emily said and looked over at him. He furrowed his eyebrows. "What? I can have self-control."</p><p>"When you want to tell me what's going on, I'll be sitting right here," Hotch said and rested an elbow on the table. His head was resting in that hand. "We have all night."</p><p>"I'm fine, Hotch," Emily said and licked her lips.</p><p>"I never asked you if you're okay. I know you hate people asking you that now. But something is wrong, and whenever you want to tell me, I'll be right here," Hotch said and shrugged his shoulders. The bartender coming up and handing them that order of nachos Emily requested out in the field.</p><p>"I just don't want to depend on alcohol anymore," Emily said and grabbed a nacho. Hotch shook his head. The woman feeling her phone buzz. She grabbed her purse and looked for it. Hotch's eyes catching the two cartons of cigarettes in her bag. Emily closed her purse quickly when she realized.</p><p>"You're smoking a lot," Hotch commented and grabbed a nacho. Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"It's just a cigarette, Hotch. I'll be fine," Emily said and took a sip of her water in front of her.</p><p>"I've never known you to smoke," Hotch said as Emily bit her lip. Emily didn't say anything else as she got up and walked out the door of the bar. Hotch called Spencer over. The man coming to the table. "Watch over all the stuff. I'm going to get Emily."</p><p>Hotch followed after her. He walked out of the bar and saw as expected. Emily was standing there smoking a cigarette. "Hotch, seriously, I'm fine."</p><p>Hotch didn't say anything as he just leaned against the wall and watched her smoke. Emily inhaled the nicotine and let it sit for a minute before exhaling.</p><p>"I use to smoke," Hotch said and chuckled. Emily raised an eyebrow. "I know. I know."</p><p>"Scotch and a smoker. I think you and I have a lot more in common than we realize," Emily said and smiled as she flicked the ashes off the cigarette. "But I had a feeling. You were too formal, with my mother. I knew you were secretive."</p><p>"I was secretive? You made me tell your mom it was a floorboard creaking when you came home at ten in the morning after sneaking out," Hotch said and laughed as Emily face-palmed her forehead. "Yeah, I still remember that."</p><p>"What can I say? Clara had an influence on me," Emily said and shrugged. Hotch shook his head as he reached his hand out.</p><p>"Come on, I don't think Spencer is too fond of just sitting at the table with no company," Hotch said and gestured for Emily to follow him in the bar. The woman put out her cigarette and took a step forward before tripping on the uneven pavement. Hotch caught her in time. Emily's hands gripping onto his biceps. The two just staring at each other for a second before he got her to her feet. "You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," Emily said and brushed herself off, and made her way into the bar. Hotch followed, not too far behind. They thanked Spencer for watching over everything before sitting back down. "I'll make you a deal."</p><p>"I already don't like the sound of this," Hotch said jokingly. Emily swatted his shoulder. "What is it?"</p><p>"I'll quit smoking if you tell me one thing that's been eating at me for a while," Emily said. Hotch leaned in closer and nodded. "When we were in the alley in New Orleans. You said you knew the feeling. What did you mean by that?"</p><p>"Let me tell you something," Hotch said and glanced around the bar before sighing. "It hurts a lot more when you're married, and the exact same situation happens. Even worse when it's your childhood best friend stealing away the one person you'd risk everything for. I'll talk to you more about it. Maybe when we're not in a bar."</p><p>"Thank you for at least answering the question," Emily said and handed Hotch her purse. He furrowed his eyebrows as she gestured to open it. "If I hand it to you, you'll never get them out of my hand."</p><p>Hotch smiled before opening Emily's bag and grabbing the cigarette packs and her lighter. Emily grabbed her purse and sighed as Hotch dumped the cigarettes out on the empty side of the plate. Emily pursed her lips. Hotch looked over at her. "Baby steps."</p><p>"You're not taking away my scotch," Emily said and chuckled. Hotch rolled his eyes. The two continued their conversation as the team happily got drunk and lost themselves on the dance floor. Penelope almost willfully wanted to take her clothes off, but Derek stopped her. Spencer and JJ dancing ridiculously together and laughed as Derek tried to control the woman. Emily and Hotch both smiled at the sight in front of them. Baby steps.</p><p>It was the following day, and everyone apart from Hotch and Emily came into work with a hangover. JJ was probably the worst of the bunch. After getting home, she decided to have another cocktail of white wine straight from the bottle. Before she knew it, the bottle was empty, and she was left in her bedroom watching random movies.</p><p>"You look like hell," Hotch said as she walked into his office. JJ nodded her head as she shut her eyes from the harsh sunlight coming in through Hotch's office. "You want a water?"</p><p>"No, I just came to give you the final report before I go puke in the bathroom," JJ said and handed Hotch the file. He laughed as she missed his hand that was extended out and just dropped the file on his desk.</p><p>"Be careful going down the stairs," Hotch said as JJ walked out of the room. She was going well until she missed a step and tripped. Thankfully and almost ironically, Emily caught her at the bottom. The woman's arms wrapped around her waist as she held her in place.</p><p>"JJ!" Emily said as she caught her. The blonde woman was trying to get her footage right again. Emily helped stand her up. "Careful, JJ. You nearly hit your face at the bottom."</p><p>"Maybe someone should just smack the bottle of wine out of my hand next time," JJ mumbled as Emily chuckled. The two broke away when they realized how close they were. "Next time, I'll take the ramp."</p><p>"Are you okay to walk to your office?" Emily asked. JJ nodded and walked off. Emily glancing over at Derek and Spencer, who both had their hands up. The raven-haired woman groaned and followed after JJ. Emily walked right beside JJ. The blonde woman's hand grabbed onto Emily's arm. The two made it to her office, and Emily sat her down in the chair.</p><p>"Oh, I love and hate alcohol," JJ said and rubbed her temples. Emily chuckled as JJ kicked off her heels. "Thank you for walking me."</p><p>"Are you going to be okay here?" Emily asked and ran a hand down her blouse to smooth it out. JJ noticed the nervous tick Emily had adopted. Ever since Hotch told her about her tell, she had subconsciously found a new one.</p><p>"You don't have to be nervous around here, Emily," JJ said softly. Emily just opted to place her hands in her back pockets to his her nervousness. "Emily, I can't even say how sorry-"</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Penelope entered the room with a smile. That was until she realized Emily was standing in there with her. Her eyes were shifting between the two women who were actually in the same room together again.</p><p>"Penelope?" Emily asked and waved a hand in front of the woman. Garcia snapped out of her thoughts and remembered why she stepped into the room in the first place. She handed JJ a letter.</p><p>"That came in through the BAU mailing room. The guy said it had to be hand-delivered, it sounded important. Anderson just dropped it off at my office for mail dispersal," Penelope said and smiled. She placed a hand on Emily's shoulders and rubbed it slightly. JJ furrowed her eyebrows as she opened it. "What is it?"</p><p>"Um, a ticket," JJ said simply and set down the envelope. Penelope moving faster than JJ and grabbed the letter before JJ could snatch it back. It was an airplane ticket for a round trip to New Orleans. Emily read the location and licked her lips. Her jaw was subconsciously clenching.</p><p>"Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some files to get back to," Emily said and walked out of the room without another word. JJ snatched the letter back from Penelope.</p><p>"Why didn't you say anything?" Penelope said and shut the door. JJ rubbed her temples, trying to calm herself down and the headache.</p><p>"Because I didn't want Emily knowing. She doesn't know anything about Will and me," JJ said and tilted her head back. "Clara might have told her, but I didn't want anyone to know. That's a conversation she and I won't be having for a while."</p><p>"JJ, she's going to figure out eventually that you're seeing Will," Penelope said and crossed her arms.</p><p>"I'm not seeing him! I'm just feeling things out. He's fun, good looking but I'm not going to start anything with him officially just yet," JJ said and sighed. Penelope sat down across from her.</p><p>"I hate to break it to you, JJ, but you going and flying out to New Orleans and him coming here almost every weekend sounds a lot to me that you're seeing each other," Penelope said and shrugged. "It's better just to put a label on it and know what it is than for you to have another situation like you and Emily had with Will."</p><p>"Pen-"</p><p>"No, JJ. You can't keep running from labels and pray that it works out when you don't even know what you want," Penelope said and leaned back in the chair.</p><p>"I do know what I want," JJ said matter-of-factly as she shut her eyes and tried to relax.</p><p>"Then what is it?" Penelope asked quickly.</p><p>"I want Wil-" JJ stopped herself as she opened her eyes. She didn't say that. She looked over at Penelope, who had her head tilted to the side.</p><p>"Now let her go. It's not fair to her and you that you keep this up," Penelope said and patted JJ's arm as she stood up and walked out of the office. JJ sat there and sighed heavily. She grabbed the ticket to New Orleans and looked over at it.</p><p>Penelope: "Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go." Nikita Gill.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>someone come give me a gatorade and an emily to take care of me pls and thank you</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the fact that this story almost has 3k reads on wattpad and 1k on ao3 at only eleven parts is absolutely insane. i love each and every one of you to the bottom of my tiny little heart. kisses and love to all, thank you😚🤍</p><p>i'm trying to write as much as possible to maybe do updates three times a week when i go back to school but no promises 😌</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: drinking, minimal swearing, NSFW mentions, 18+, slight degrading if you squint<br/>word count: 3853</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Derek: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin.</p><p>Emily sat back in her chair and sighed. Today was one of those days where she felt sluggish. She didn't want to do anything. She was having a bad day, well, morning.</p><p>She heard the doors to the bullpen open up and footsteps approaching. Usually, she could make out who it was that was walking, but today she couldn't. She opened one eye as he placed a croissant in front of her. She glanced up at who it was but just saw his grey suit as he walked away. "Good morning, Emily."</p><p>"Good morning, Hotch," Emily said and smiled at the gesture. He turned back around as his hand was on the railing.</p><p>"Emily, I hope you know, you can call me Aaron," Hotch said softly. Emily's jaw dropped slightly as he turned and went up the stairs and into his office. The raven-haired woman ran her tongue over her teeth and chuckled.</p><p>She grabbed the croissant that he got her. It was still warm. Meanwhile, Hotch looked over at her through the window and smiled. It made Emily happy that was all he wanted to do.</p><p>Reid and Morgan walked in laughing and pushing the other around. Emily looked back as they walked in. "Now why is it whenever you go get a little something from the bakery, you never let us know. I'd love an apple fritter from time to time."</p><p>"I'd like a blueberry muffin," Spencer said and set down his things. Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"I didn't stop at the bakery," Emily said and immediately regretted it the second she said it. Derek and Spencer both raised their eyebrows.</p><p>"Well, if you didn't, who did?" Derek asked and crossed his arms. Emily didn't say anything as she took a bit of the pastry. His eyes going up to Hotch's office. "Well, I'll be damned. Maybe if you tell Hotch you want a week off, he'll give it to us."</p><p>Emily rolled her eyes as she focused her attention on her files in front of her. Derek and Spencer both chuckling at her reaction.</p><p>"Bat your eyelashes. You and I can go take a trip down to Jamacia. I know a guy there who owns a resort," Derek said and sat at the edge of Emily's desk.</p><p>"I was thinking Italy. I've got a connection for a huge villa we could rent out," Emily said jokingly as she placed a hand on Derek's shoulder. The two laughed at the thought. It didn't take long for the two to slip into their usual work pace. Emily got a second of peace between her files when JJ walked in.</p><p>"We have a case," JJ said as Hotch walked out of his office. The three groaning as they got up and made their way to the conference room. Penelope was the last one to get there as they sat around waiting for JJ to present it. "We're heading to New Orleans. They need help with yet again another serial killer."</p><p>Emily sighed softly. She wasn't happy about going there again. JJ noticed and pursed her lips. The team debriefed and made their way to the airstrip. Emily was the first on the jet. She sat down and had Hotch sit down next to her. JJ and Morgan were sitting across from them. Emily leaned in close to Hotch. "Thanks for the treat, by the way. I'll gladly treat you to breakfast when we get back."</p><p>"You don't have to," Hotch said with a small smile. Derek and JJ glancing up at the two before they pulled away and opened their files. JJ's eyes flicked back and forth between them. She was praying in her head for it to be just her imagination.</p><p>In no time, the team was back in New Orleans. Emily and Hotch walked into the police station and greeted everyone.</p><p>"Welcome back," Clara said and hugged Emily tightly. The woman rubbing her back before pulling away. "Nice to see you again, Agent Hotchner."</p><p>"Nice to see y'all again," Will said and stuck out his hand. Hotch shook it with a nod. Emily shaking his hand a bit too tight for his own comfort. He laughed nervously as the woman tilted her head to the side. The two agents were led into their set-up room, immediately getting to work to interview the families. "What's her problem?"</p><p>"You don't want to know," Clara said and walked over to the coffee pot for three coffees. She settled herself in the room with the two agents. Will now feeling like a burden and made himself valuable outside the room.</p><p>"You okay?" Spencer asked as he and JJ drove to the latest crime scene. "You've been quiet."</p><p>"I'm just not feeling all there, that's all," JJ said and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.</p><p>"Is it because we're back here in New Orleans?" Spencer asked and furrowed his eyebrows. JJ sighed. This conversation wasn't going to be dropped. "JJ, you can talk to me. I'm not going to blab to Emily about what you said."</p><p>"With the four of us going to be in one building together, I think it might explode," JJ said and scoffed. "Will likes me. I like Will and Emily. Clara and Emily are best friends, and my gut says they mutually hate Will. Clara has made it apparent that she doesn't like me. And Will doesn't know what's going on."</p><p>"You didn't tell him about you and Emily?" Spencer asked and looked over at the woman. She had a death grip on the wheel now.</p><p>"I told him I had an interesting relationship with someone in the Bureau, but no, I never mentioned Emily by name," JJ said and pulled up to the house secured with police tape. She turned the car off and sighed. "The less he knows, the better."</p><p>"He's going to find out; eventually, you might as well just tell him before he hears it from anyone but you," Spencer said and unbuckled his seatbelt. The blonde woman didn't say anything as she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. Spencer not too far behind her.</p><p>Hotch and Emily sat down across from each other, looking through personal files and the various paperwork on the victims. Emily sat back and concentrated on the work in front of her. A pair of eyes glancing up at her from time to time.</p><p>"I'm still here, Hotch. I didn't fly away," Emily said and didn't take her eyes off the report. "And before you're forced to ask, yes, I'm fine."</p><p>"Emily-"</p><p>"Aaron, please," Emily said and set down the file. She finally locked eyes with the man across from her. "I have you and Clara. You're both keeping me distracted, and that's all I need."</p><p>Hotch sighed softly and leaned forward. "You've just been quiet. I need to reassure you that you still have your voice."</p><p>"Yes, I know. I didn't make a deal with an evil sea witch who stole my voice," Emily joked and sat back in her chair. Hotch chuckled at the reference. She reached across the table and placed her hand on Hotch's. "Thank you for being so concerned. I'm already getting you breakfast when we get back. How about I run down to a bakery soon and grab you a pastry of your choice? I could use a pick me up. What's your favorite?"</p><p>Hotch glanced down at their hands and smiled softly. "Banana bread. I use to eat that stuff all the time when I was a kid. Or chocolate cake."</p><p>"Why is it that those answers don't surprise me," Emily said and chuckled as she pulled her hands away. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"Says the one who's favorite is a croissant," Hotch said and waved her off. Emily's jaw dropped jokingly. Hotch laughed as she swatted his arm.</p><p>"You leave my comfort food alone," Emily said and sat back in her chair with her arms crossed. Hotch put his hands up in surrender. Just as they were about to focus again, Will walked in.</p><p>"Agent Hotchner, there's a woman here who's asking for you," Will said and nodded at Emily. Hotch excused himself and followed after Will. Clara walked in with a bag of pretzels for Emily from the snack machine. Emily thanked her and got up, and sat against the table, looking at the crime board.</p><p>"This whole case just doesn't make sense to me," Emily said and shook her head. Clara stood right next to her and looked over it with her. "These kills are random, sloppy yet somehow perfectly executed."</p><p>"Well, maybe it's compulsive. The guy might be clean and neat his entire life, so it's probably a force of habit," Clara said and shrugged her shoulders. The door opened behind them. The two of them looking back and meeting the blonde woman's stares. Well, this was going to be interesting.</p><p>"Agent Seger," JJ said and kept her head up as she stood on the other side of Emily. Clara ran her tongue over her teeth. Emily sighed as she stood between the two women.</p><p>"Jareau," Clara said coldly and crossed her arms. Her line of sight looking straight. Emily bit her lip before turning and leaving the room. The two agents looking at each other as she left. "Well, I'll just be anywhere but here."</p><p>"Clara," JJ said and ran a hand down her face. "She's not going to be around us until we start being civil with one another."</p><p>Clara sighed softly and turned to JJ. "She acts like she's fine, you know. Emily has never been good at hiding her micro-expressions. It doesn't take a genius to realize she doesn't want to be in this station."</p><p>"Do I even want to know why?" JJ asked and looked down at her shoes. The brunette woman looked over at her and forced a smile.</p><p>"I'll let you sit and think really hard about it," Clara said and pointed at her eyes before gesturing to the head detective outside. JJ licked her lips as she sighed. "Why do you think she's been smoking or drinking more?"</p><p>"She quit smoking," JJ said and clenched her jaw. Her eyes meeting Clara's. "Hotch said she's cutting back on alcohol."</p><p>"Well, I'll make sure to go and give my thanks to Aaron Hotchner for doing the unthinkable. Maybe not to alcohol part, but still," Clara said sarcastically as she gripped the chair in front of her. "It seems like he's the only one in D.C. that can get her to listen."</p><p>"I'm trying, okay? We're patching our relationship back before feelings and complications got in the way," JJ said and stuffed her hands in her pockets.</p><p>"Two things. One, those complications caused a lot to her self-esteem. She took a lot of it to heart. They may not seem like a big deal or just a bump in the road to you, but to her, everything came crashing down. Two, as long as he's around, Emily will always have those thoughts lingering in the back of her head. Take it from me. It'll never be the same. I've watched plenty of people come in and break her down. You're not the first," Clara said and gestured to the woman. She stood there talking to Hotch. Her arms crossed, and her jaw tightened. Will stood across from her. He looked inferior compared to her. Emily was a force to be reckoned with. JJ nodded and sighed softly. Clara didn't say another word as she walked out and up to Emily. Her hand going around her waist as she leaned in and whispered something to Emily. The two women laughing as JJ watched them. JJ paused for a second before walking out and ruffling her hair, acting as nothing had happened.</p><p>It was day three of the team being in New Orleans. They were constantly hitting dead ends. It was as if this guy was a ghost that only came lurking out of the shadows to kill. There was no connection. No clues. No slip-ups. Nothing.</p><p>After what seemed like a lifetime, the team had finally gotten somewhere. They raised the house and found the man upstairs in his attic with the latest victim tied to the house's wall. It was finally over. By the time the team had made it back to the police station, it was already late. Hotch sighed as he looked at his team. They all looked like they were going to pass out from exhaustion.</p><p>"Why don't we just stay the night again. We can leave tomorrow morning at eight," Hotch said, and everyone on the team agreed. Well, except for the obvious two. They hesitated on saying yes.</p><p>Emily sat down in the chair and sighed softly. She grabbed her bag when someone sat at the edge of the desk she was at. Clara raised an eyebrow at Emily's state.</p><p>"You look like hell," Clara said and chuckled. Emily rolled her eyes and grabbed the files in front of her.</p><p>"Everyone is so comforting with their words to me," Emily said and stuffed the files sloppily into the bag. She didn't care at this point. She just needed to sleep or drink an entire bottle of tequila. If possible, she would do both. Emily glanced up as Will made JJ laugh across the police station. Memories of the last time they were here flooded into her mind.</p><p>Emily watched as she made her way across the police station. Will perked up at the sight of JJ walking towards him. She didn't say another word as she pulled him in and kissed him. Her hands coming up to the sides of his face while his hands dropped to her waist.</p><p>"Em?" Clara called out and waved a hand in front of her. Emily snapped out of her thoughts and just saw the two there talking. Clara looked over to see where Emily's attention was and pursed her lips. "Do you need me to kill either of them? Or throw them out of the station?"</p><p>"Clara, I appreciate the tough love, but really, I just want to put this whole thing behind us. I'm fine," Emily said and shook her head as she packed her things up. Clara ducked her head down.</p><p>"Look at me in the eye of you're going to lie," Clara said and grabbed Emily's chin. The raven-haired woman sighed and pulled away from her touch. "That's what I thought. Let me take you out for a drink. Just one, and I'll make sure you're back in time for curfew."</p><p>"You're buying," Emily said and grabbed her purse. Clara chuckled as Emily grabbed her wrist and led her out of the station. Both having two sets of eyes, watch them as they did.</p><p>Will noticed the way JJ had her undivided attention on Emily as she left. The man was feeling jealous of how she got her attention so quickly. Will placed a hand on JJ's waist and asked her outside.</p><p>"What's going on?" JJ asked and looked around. She was nervous. Will looked nervous. The man stuffed his hands in his pockets and tried to find the right words. But he didn't want to sugarcoat it.</p><p>"Do you not want to be with me?" he asked softly. JJ's jaw-dropping slightly. "Because I'm crazy about you, Jennifer Jareau. I can go to the rooftops of New Orleans and shout it at the top of my lungs to prove it."</p><p>It just so happened a man was passing by. He didn't pay too much attention as Will called out for him. "Hey, man. I'm crazy about her. I can't get her out of my head."</p><p>"Will-"</p><p>"I mean it, JJ," Will said and took a step towards her. He grabbed onto both of her hands. "I'm ready to dive straight in if you are. I can't get you out of my head. And all I'm asking for is for you to admit you're ready to be with me too. I'm tired of waiting around for you, JJ. It's not good to run from something you want."</p><p>The two stood there for a second as Will placed his hand on her cheek. He stroked his thumb over her cheek. JJ couldn't help herself as she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. Will and her both smiling into the kiss. JJ squealing as he picked her up and spun her around. The two pulled away slightly. JJ shut her eyes as she kissed him again. The three BAU men were standing inside the station and witnessed everything.</p><p>JJ had finally made her choice.</p><p>Emily and Clara laughed as they downed their shot of tequila. Emily's entire body was relaxing as she felt the alcohol in her system. Clara ordering two more shots. "You're trying to kill me."</p><p>"No, just making sure you're loosened. You need something to relax you. I looked in your direction, and I was stressed," Clara said and smiled at the bartender as he placed two more shots in front of them. The two didn't waste any time and clinked their glasses together before taking the shots. Emily's face scrunched up at the hard liquor going down her throat. It burned, but Emily wanted nothing more than to have another taste of it. Emily looked towards the bartender and held up a two-sign with her hand. She had been lying to herself. She wanted nothing more than to get drunk to forget where she was. "Careful there, Prentiss. I thought you cut back on alcohol."</p><p>"I told him he wasn't taking my scotch: tequila, scotch, same vice, different name. And for a matter of fact, going from a drink every day to getting drunk when absolutely need be is cutting back," Emily said and shrugged her shoulders. Clara chuckled and grabbed a pretzel from the bowl in front of her. "Besides, are you going to be the one to tell Aaron I'm drinking heavily?"</p><p>"He'll stare at me, and I'll start apologizing," Clara said and laughed. The bartender placing down the two shots in front of the women. They both thanked him quietly. Emily grabbed her shot and clinked it with Clara's before taking it. Her face no longer scrunching up at the taste.</p><p>Two more shots of tequila each late, and both were laughing loudly in the bar. It had felt like old times at Yale between the two. Mix in Melissa and flirting with the cooks for free appetizers, and it was like they had never left their college years.</p><p>"And fucking, he fucking tripped on himself," Emily said and laughed as Clara gasped. "I told Melissa the guy was a loser from the get-go. It took him face planting into Mike's birthday cake to see that."</p><p>"She never told me that," Clara said and laughed. Things were quiet between the two women for a second. Clara looked over at Emily, who popped a pretzel into her mouth. "Wow."</p><p>"What?" Emily asked. Her eyes were trying to concentrate on Clara, but there were three of her now.</p><p>"Why don't we go back to old school ways, Prentiss," Clara said and smiled cynically. Emily raised an eyebrow as Clara leaned forward and ran a finger over Emily's arm. "No strings attached, just like old times."</p><p>And before Emily knew it, they had found themselves in her hotel room. Clara pushed Emily right against the wall and kissed her frantically. The two women fighting for dominance with their tongues. Clara's hands buried in Emily's hair as she tried to pull her impossibly closer. Emily pushed her against the opposite wall and reached down, unbuckling Clara's belt.</p><p>The two pulled away and kicked off their shoes before lunging at the other to kiss again. Emily slipped off her blazer and tossed it anywhere in the room as she leads Clara to the bed. Her knees hit the bed and sent her crashing down. Emily crawled on top of her and took complete control over the kiss. Clara's hands were working on Emily's work shirt as they kissed. She pushed it open to reveal a white lace bra underneath. Clara smiled at the sight as she slipped it off of her and flipped them around.</p><p>Emily's legs wrapped around the brunette woman, locking her in place. Clara's hands interlocking with Emily's as she held them to the mattress. She kissed Emily deeply. Both women moaning softly into the kiss. "Clara."</p><p>"Keep quiet, remember your team is next door," Clara said and smiled against her lips. Emily's eyes rolling to the back of her head as Clara ducked her head down and made a deep purple mark on her breast. Clara's hands moving down and groping her chest through her bra. Emily's hands grabbing onto Clara's shirt and pulling it over her head. Emily sat up and unbuttoned the other woman's pants. Clara's mouth wandering to Emily's neck as she undid the zipper. She sucked softly on her neck, not wanting to leave marks in visible areas. "Come on, Em. You haven't lost your touch, have you?"</p><p>Emily smirked as she pulled Clara beside her. She wasted no time and unclasped the woman's bra and tossed it aside. Her lips were trailing from her breasts to her stomach. "You were married to a man. Let's see if you still have it in you."</p><p>Clara smirked at the taunt. She always knew how to get Emily riled up. Emily took off her pants and settled herself between her legs. Emily noticed the soaked thong in front of her.</p><p>"Seger. I barely touched you, and you're already soaked. It's pathetic," Emily said with a smile. Clara chuckled as Emily tore off the thong. Emily wasted no time diving in and licking up her slit. The brunette underneath her withering and gripping onto the pillows above her. Emily smirked against her pussy. Her tongue gently circling her clit as she watched Clara already lose herself to Emily's touch.</p><p>"Emily."</p><p>Emily: "People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don't need help." Glennon Doyle Melton.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm curious if y'all actually want a deep dive into Clara and Emily's past relationship. i have some things planned but just let me know 🤩</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm sad my spring break is almost over, i feel like it came and went in a flash but at least i got to update daily😗</p><p>also i forgot to mention i put a q&amp;a link on my tiktok in case anyone wants to leave me a little something, i'd love it🤍</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, acts of violence against women<br/>word count: 3733</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ: "She wasn't exactly sure when it happened. Or even when it started. All she knew for sure was that right here and now, she was falling hard and she could only pray that he was feeling the same way." Nicholas Sparks.</p><p>Emily walked into the bullpen with two bags in her hands along with her usual workload. Penelope, coming from her lair, saw her walk in and raised an eyebrow. She watched in the doorway as Emily dropped her personal bags at her desk then made her way up the stairs and towards Hotch's office. She knocked twice before entering.</p><p>"Yeah, let me call you back," Hotch said and hung up the phone. Hotch looked back at Emily and stood up. "What's this?"</p><p>"I didn't get the chance to get you breakfast last week. So, I figured I'd bring it to you," Emily said and smiled as Hotch grabbed the bags for her. "Jack told me your favorites from the diner. He said that, and I quote, 'daddy likes blueberry pancakes with lots of whip cream and eggs.'"</p><p>Hotch laughed as he set the bags down. Emily shut the door behind her. He pulled her in a hug, the two settling in the other's arms. Penelope's eyebrows raised. She could swear as they pulled away, Hotch looked down. Emily settled into the seat across from Hotch with a smile. For herself, she got a favorite of hers and Declan's, waffles with strawberries on top.</p><p>"I appreciate it, Em. But I could have been perfectly fine with a coffee and a slice of banana bread," Hotch said and sat down across from her. "But thank you. I don't normally get the chance to eat breakfast. So this is a good start to my day."</p><p>"You're welcome," Emily said with a smile as the two grabbed their respective food. Penelope walked in cautiously to the bullpen, lurking in the shadows to get a closer look at Hotch and Prentiss. Emily chuckled as Hotch got whip cream on his fingers. The man was squinting his eyes at Emily. Penelope smiled softly. Emily looked happy as she sat across from Hotch.</p><p>Penelope admits she has never seen the man smile as wide as he was right now. It warmed her heart. </p><p>The rest of the team walked in and stopped in their tracks as they saw Emily and Hotch. Penelope holding a finger over her mouth and beckoned them to come towards her. They all took two steps before Penelope stopped them and gestured for them to move slower. They finally made it to the railing by the stairs as they peaked their heads over and seeing the two there laughing.</p><p>JJ forced a smile. Emily looked happy. JJ had done her fair share of trying to ignore Emily's love life since their situation had played out. She had convinced herself that if Emily had gone with Clara, she would be happy for her. But this, this hurt. Hotch had encouraged JJ and Emily to be together. Why was he suddenly changing his mind?</p><p>The blonde woman didn't say anything else as she turned and made her way to her office. She shut the door behind her and sighed. Seven billion people in the world, and Emily chose the person who oversees their entire work unit to mingle with?</p><p>The blonde woman took a moment to collect herself and sat down at her desk. She shut her eyes and sighed. </p><p>As long as she's happy, that's all that matters.</p><p>JJ shook off the thoughts and dove into reviewing cases for the team. The lingering thought of Emily smiling so widely was like a ghost haunting her memories.</p><p>"Do you think they're dating?" Spencer asked with a slight smile on his face as he sat down at his desk. Penelope's eyebrows raising. She never thought about Emily being with anyone who wasn't JJ, let alone Hotch after their stand-off when she first got here.</p><p>"I don't think so, at least not yet," Derek said and kicked his feet up on the desk. "Hotch is a very painfully private person. I mean, he didn't even tell us when he and Haley got divorced until JJ noticed her picture wasn't in his office anymore. So either he tossed caution into the wind, or they aren't officially dating."</p><p>"Do you think they'll tell us if they are?" Penelope asked. She looked over at the two agents clinking together their coffee mugs.</p><p>"My money says no, and we'll have to pry it out of them," Derek said and reached behind him for his wallet. He tossed a twenty out in front of him. "What about you, pretty boy?"</p><p>"I don't think they'll necessarily tell us, but I do, however, know the two of them like the back of my hand, and they'll probably let something slip," Spencer said and tossed a twenty from his pocket at Derek. The two men looked over at Penelope.</p><p>"Oh for sure, Emily. If you get her a little tipsy, she gets handsy, and when she does, we'll see who she goes for," Penelope said and reached into her bra and grabbed a twenty she kept there. She tossed it at Derek as he laughed.</p><p>"I think they're staring," Hotch said and took a bite of his pancakes. Emily turned her head slightly and caught the trio in her peripheral. "There's money on the desk. I think they're betting."</p><p>"I've found that they love to gamble with my personal life," Emily said and took a bit of her waffle. "What about this time? I don't know."</p><p>"Well, rumor has it, I've been making you happy," Hotch said and smiled. Emily stopped her chewing once he said that.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Of course. Emily thinks she's just the bad luck charm of getting interrupted at interesting times. She sighed and sat back in her chair. She watched Hotch as he picked up the phone. She was starting to notice features that at one point in time weren't so present to her. His strong jawline and mean-looking side profile were a complete contrast to who Aaron actually was. Or at least to Emily.</p><p>Emily took her time while he was on the phone to admire him. He was attractive. His dimple popped out while he talked. Emily couldn't help the smile that crept up on her face.</p><p>"Alright, thanks," Hotch said and hung up the phone. He looked back at Emily to see her smiling. "What? Do I have syrup on me?"</p><p>"No," Emily said and licked her lips. Hotch turned his head slightly and saw the three agents outside practically duck to hide. He and Emily chuckled. "Yeah, they're definitely staring."</p><p>"Well, let's give them something to stare at," Hotch said and stood up. He offered his hand to Emily. She was hesitant, but she took it. The man pulled her in a tight hug, right in front of the window. Emily's face buried into his neck. His arms wrapping protectively around Emily. They both shut their eyes as the warmth of the other was felt on their skin. "Strauss wants to see me. I hate to cut the breakfast short."</p><p>"You go do your job. Breakfast can always wait," Emily said and loosened her hold around Hotch's neck. He didn't move. </p><p>"If it's Garcia, you owe me lunch," Aaron said as he pulled away. Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"That's not fair. You know it'll be her!" Emily said and swatted his arm. He chuckled as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Besides, you can't keep making a lady pay for everything."</p><p>"You're right. I'll make sure to get us breakfast tomorrow morning," Hotch said and grabbed the stack of files on his desk. Emily sighed as he got ready to leave. "You can just leave everything here. I need to come back and finish my breakfast."</p><p>The man turned back and saw her admiring him. His eyes were subconsciously going down to her lips. Emily noticing and smiled shyly.</p><p>"Bye, Aaron," Emily said as he grabbed the door handle. Hotch smiled at the use of his name.</p><p>"Bye, Emily," he said and opened the door, running down the stairs. The trio all acted like they weren't watching and waited until Hotch got into the elevator. Once he did, they all ran up the stairs. Emily noticed them running towards her, and she almost shut the door to his office, but Derek got there just in time.</p><p>"Oh, come on! One moment of peace! That's all I ask for!" Emily said and rolled her eyes as she gathered her almost finished breakfast. The trio was standing there with their arms crossed. "Don't do that."</p><p>"Do I want to ask why you got Hotch breakfast and not the rest of your divine, devoted and witty best friends?" Penelope asked and gestured to herself and the two men standing there.</p><p>"He got me a treat both here and in New Orleans. So I told him I'd pay him back with breakfast," Emily said simply and shrugged her shoulders as she threw the trash in the bag.</p><p>"And the hug?" Spencer asked. Emily turned and mentally cursed herself for not going with Hotch to go literally anywhere else in the world.</p><p>"I hug you. The three of you, actually. It was nothing special," Emily said and closed up Hotch's breakfast for him. Emily grabbed the bag of trash and her breakfast and tried to leave the room, but the three of them were blocking her.</p><p>"Nah, Nah, Nah," Derek said and held up a hand. "Out with it, Princess, come on."</p><p>"There's nothing to be out with, Derek. It was breakfast, nothing more, nothing less," Emily said and pushed past the three of them. They all squinted their eyes at her. She had a little more pep to her step. It didn't take a genius to realize that Emily Prentiss was developing feelings for her Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner.</p><p>From one moment to the next, the team was back to their usual spots. Penelope had joined them outside in the bullpen compared to her lair. It was always good to get some sunlight every now and then. All was calm in the bullpen.</p><p>Hours had passed, and Hotch was finally relieved as the elevator doors opened to the sixth floor. He had a love-hate relationship with Strauss. The man walked down the hall and knocked twice on JJ's office door.</p><p>"Come in!" JJ shouted on the other side. Hotch opened the door and looked over at her. She was in the middle of organizing her files in the cabinet.</p><p>"Hey, Strauss wants the case that just came in. She said it should be a top priority to us," Hotch said and took a few steps into JJ's office. The woman furrowed her eyebrows as she grabbed the case file on the top of her stack in her desk.</p><p>"It's just one body. The victim was missing a rib bone," JJ said and shrugged. "Local PD didn't have any leads. I don't see how this is a top priority to her."</p><p>"I don't either, but I've just learned not to question her thinking abilities anymore. I like my job. I'd like to keep it," Hotch said and shook his head. JJ took one step closer, and that's when she smelled it. The relatively strong scent of Emily's Chanel perfume was still on Hotch's jacket. JJ clenched her jaw slightly. The smell now being the only thing she could register. </p><p>"You okay?" Hotch asked and glanced over at her. JJ sat against the edge of her desk.</p><p>"Yeah—just uh, just a headache," JJ said and gestured to her temples. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"Well, I think Penelope might have some aspirin in case you need any. If not, I'll have Anderson run and get you some," Hotch said and looked back down at the file. "Thanks again, JJ."</p><p>"Of course," JJ said as he walked out of her office. The woman sighed to herself. She didn't feel good about this.</p><p>Hotch walked into the bullpen and smiled softly at Emily. She glanced over at him with a smirk. Shamelessly, she watched him walking up the stairs and into his office. He was nice to look at from every angle. Derek noticed and squinted his eyes. He didn't say anything as he got up and made his way to Hotch's office. Emily was lost in her own world to noticed that he left.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Come in," Hotch said and sat down at his desk. Derek entered his office.</p><p>"Is there something going on?" Derek asked and shut the door. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows as Derek crossed his arms. "Oh, come on, Hotch."</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," Hotch said and shrugged his shoulders. Derek scoffed and gestured towards Emily, who was sitting at her desk in her own little world. Hotch pursed his lips as he looked anywhere else but at Derek.</p><p>"Either you start talking, or I'll just march out there and ask Emily myself," Derek said and placed his hand on the door handle. Hotch sighed and gestured for him to sit.</p><p>"I know it's wrong, I know. But there's just something about her. Ever since she started to come and lean on me a little more with her situation with JJ, things have been—" Hotch said and stopped himself. Derek tilted his head.</p><p>"Things have been what?" Derek asked and sat down across from Hotch. Hotch scoffed before a small smile formed on his lips.</p><p>"Like before. When I interned with her mom, she was always around to say the perfect things. Granted, she wasn't around that much since she just got started at Yale, and I was seeing Haley at that time. But when she was there, it, it felt right," Hotch said and shrugged his shoulders. "I think, deep down, she was always special. I just didn't realize it until she came here, right in front of me."</p><p>"Then why were you so hesitant when she first joined the team?" Derek asked and glanced over at Emily, who was now chatting with Spencer.</p><p>"I had heard a rumor that Strauss was looking for any way to get rid of me as Unit Chief. And the timing of everything just wasn't good. It made me suspicious of Emily," Hotch said and glanced over at her. He smiled softly at the presence of her. "Now, I've learned to trust her with my life."</p><p>"Are you going to tell her?" Derek asked and raised his eyebrows. Hotch chuckled and shook his head.</p><p>"Come on, Derek. We both know Emily isn't the kind of girl to settle down with someone like me. Plus, she just got out of a relationship with someone she worked with. I doubt she'd do it again," Hotch said and bit the inside of his cheek. "I'll just admire from afar for right now."</p><p>"She's got you wrapped around her little finger," Derek said and chuckled. Hotch rolled his eyes. "Why don't you just ask her to coffee? Or maybe breakfast for two again out of the office."</p><p>"I don't know," Hotch said and smiled shyly.</p><p>"Stand up," Derek said and stood up. Hotch raised an eyebrow. Derek gestured for him to stand up, and he did. His fingers were rubbing together as a force of habit. Derek smirked and flattened his suit out. "You are Aaron Hotchner. Master of talking down unsubs that have done the most horrendous things to people. You are not about to run from an alpha woman who's showing a clear interest in you. I've been friends with Emily ever since she came here, and not once has she been treating me the way she's been treating you. You got this, man."</p><p>"Thanks, Morgan," Hotch said and patted his shoulder. Derek smiled widely and hit the man's arm before he walked away. Emily raised an eyebrow as Derek walked out with a smile.</p><p>"What uh, what was that about?" Emily asked and stood up. She looked back and forth between Hotch and Derek. The man was smiling to himself in his office. Derek zipped his lips closed and chuckled as Emily's jaw dropped. "Morgan!"</p><p>"You want to tell me what's going on with you then?" Derek asked and placed his hands behind his back. Emily rolled her eyes and sat back down on her chair.</p><p>For the rest of the day, everything was quiet. It was a rather stressless day at the BAU. Hotch let everyone go home early if they wanted to. Of course, Derek and Penelope both jumped on that offer. Emily, Spencer, and Hotch chose to stay and just finish off work for today.</p><p>It wasn't long until Spencer had said his goodbyes to both and left. Emily was the last one to leave. She said her goodbyes to Hotch as she made her way down to the garage for her car. She sighed as she sat down. She just wanted to be home already.</p><p>Emily pulled out of the garage and made her way out of the parking lot of Quantico. All was going well until Emily's car started to make a weird noise. Emily sighed as she pulled off to the side of the road. Of course. A relatively good day had a terrible ending. She tried to start her car and nothing.</p><p>The woman sighed as she stepped out of the vehicle. She popped the hood and didn't see anything wrong. Emily had no idea what she was doing, but it was still human nature of her to find the problem. She grabbed her phone and dialed the only person she knew was closest to her location. "Hello?"</p><p>"Hey, I'm sorry. My car stalled, and I'm on the side of the road. I'm not far from Quantico. I'm in front of that little book store, the local one by the bank. Can you come give me a lift or maybe a jump start?" Emily asked and kicked the tire of her car.</p><p>"Yeah, I'll be right there," Hotch said and hung up the phone. He got up, throwing everything in his bag, and turned everything off quickly as he left. He had a bad feeling. His gut told him something was wrong. Emily sighed as she closed her hood.</p><p>"You okay there, little lady?" a voice said from in front of her. Emily shut her eyes and sighed. Just her fucking luck.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine," Emily said coldly. She looked up and saw a man standing there. He looked musty. Emily clenched her jaw, mentally kicking herself for putting her gun in her bag this time. There was no getting into her car now.</p><p>"You look lonely," he said and smiled. "I can keep you company. Maybe even jump-start your car for you."</p><p>"No thanks. I'm okay," Emily said and backed away from him. He smiled and took a few more steps towards Emily. The woman clenching her jaw. If he got closer to her, she'd have blood on her hands.</p><p>"Come on. I'm good company," he said and backed Emily up against a car. She smelled his breath. It reeked of alcohol and the need to brush his teeth for a day straight. His hand gripped Emily's hip. The woman backhanded him and kicked him in the stomach before breaking away. He hunched over and groaned in pain. "You bitch!"</p><p>Emily turned and was ready to knock the wind out of him when he grabbed her arms and kicked her in the stomach. The woman tried her best to fight him off, but she couldn't.</p><p>"Get off of me, you son of a bitch!" Emily yelled and shoved him back. The man grabbing into Emily's jacket and pulled her in. She kicked him in the stomach again and loosened his grip on her. "Get off of me!"</p><p>A car pulled in fast. Emily didn't have time to register it before his voice boomed through the quiet streets.</p><p>"She said to get off of her," Hotch said and shoved the man off of Emily. The man scoffed and stood up tall. Hotch clenched his jaw and got into the man's face. "Emily, get in the car."</p><p>Emily didn't hesitate to listen to him and locked the doors once she was in. Hotch rolled up his sleeves. </p><p>"Next time a woman tells you to fuck off, you better listen to her," Hotch said and stared the man down.</p><p>"We were just having fun," the man said and looked over at Emily. Hotch balled his hands in the man's shirt. His attention now on Hotch.</p><p>"Don't look at her," Hotch warned and shoved the man back. He stumbled to the floor and was about to walk up to Hotch again, but Aaron crackled his knuckles, waiting for him to do something stupid. The man didn't say another word as he turned and walked away.</p><p>Hotch watched him as he did, making sure he wouldn't circle back around. Aaron shook his head as he walked back to the car and got in. He looked over at Emily, who looked a mixture of anger and sadness.</p><p>"You okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Hotch asked and grabbed onto the woman's hand. She wrapped her arms around his neck and shut her eyes.</p><p>"Thank you for answering. I left my gun in my bag," Emily said softly into his shoulder. Hotch, without thinking, placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder. He rubbed her back as Emily was quiet.</p><p>"Let's get you home. It's okay."</p><p>Hotch: "If he'd done something to harm her, I would have annihilated him." Stephenie Meyer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>we love savior complex hotch🤩 </p><p>anyways, there's a lot to unpack with Emily and Hotch's past when he worked for her mother that i'm not sure if I want to uncover just yet to keep y'all waiting 😚</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm sorry for the late update. i had some personal matters to deal with. i sprained my knee🤕</p><p>i hope y'all enjoy this filled chapter. we finally meet rossi and don't worry i won't make him a racist like the show because like wtf was that. enjoy the jemily apology and hotchniss coming to terms ☺️</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of smoking<br/>word count: 3702</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morgan: "There are three things all wise men should fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man." Patrick Rothfuss. </p><p>Bang. Bang. Bang.</p><p>Emily didn't take her eyes off the target as she shot straight into the paper. One to the chest, one to the throat, and one to the head. The woman pulling back and seeing her target. Emily wasn't satisfied with the results. She didn't waste time and aimed it right at the target again.</p><p>Bang. Bang. Bang.</p><p>All three bullets went straight to the head. She never missed her target. Emily clenched her jaw before aiming her gun back again. This time, firing the remaining bullets in the magazine straight into the crotch region of the target.</p><p>If she were ever approached again, she wouldn't miss.</p><p>"Remind me never to get you mad," Hotch said as he watched Prentiss from afar. "You won't even have to look at this point to hurt me."</p><p>"Yeah, so watch it," Emily said jokingly. Hotch chuckled and got into the range next to her. He drew his weapon from his ankle. Prentiss watched as he emptied his clip of bullets in a straight line up the target. The final shot going straight to the head. "Okay, show off. Not everyone has two guns on them."</p><p>"That's why I've been vocal about you and JJ both carrying two. You never know what could happen," Hotch said and took off the headset.</p><p>"I learned my lesson, Aaron. Never leave my gun in the bag," Emily said and threw off her headphones and goggles. "I already carry a hunting knife with me too. You really want me to scare off everyone I meet, don't you?"</p><p>"One glare, and someone's already intimidated. The extra weapons are just for my peace of mind," Hotch said and walked up to her. His hand came up to her back. The two stood there in silence for a second before Hotch's nerves came and went.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Hotch sighed as he stepped away from Emily. The man grabbed his phone and answered it. "Hotchner. Yes ma'am. Of course."</p><p>He hung up the phone and pursed his lips.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Emily asked and holstered her weapon. Hotch smiled softly.</p><p>"We have to go upstairs. There's someone Strauss would like us to meet," Hotch said and offered Emily to go first out the door. The woman furrowed her eyebrows as they walked out of the shooting range.</p><p>The two made their way to the sixth floor. They exited the elevator with smiles. Hotch had made it a mission of his to make Emily smile as much as he could. The woman's smile radiated light and was rarely seen around the office due to their work. They all could use a smile around here.</p><p>"Dave!" Hotch said as he opened the door for him and Emily to the bullpen. Rossi turned around and smiled widely as he embraced Aaron in a tight hug. Emily smiling at the men being so happy to see each other. "How you been? I saw you on the news last week about your book."</p><p>"It's nice to know you're still checking in on me," Rossi said and laughed. He glanced over at Emily.</p><p>"Ah, uh, Dave, this is SSA Emily Prentiss. She just recently joined the team. Emily, this is SSA David Rossi," Aaron said as the two shook hands.</p><p>"I studied your case files when I first joined the bureau. It's an honor, really," Emily said and smiled. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here? I thought you were in retirement."</p><p>"Strauss reached out to me. You all need my help," Rossi said and gestured towards the conference room. The rest of the team was there, and all raised eyebrows as Rossi walked in. Strauss cleared her throat as they settled.</p><p>"I was informed early this morning of a homicide that had taken place here in Washington. The victim's name was Jason Gideon," Strauss said and directed their attention to the screen as pictures of Gideon were all on the screen. "His body was discovered by neighbors after they complained of banging coming from his apartment. He had removed one of his rib bones. The medical examiner also found traces of ketamine in his system. But the ultimate cause of death was a single cut from his stomach to the underside of his chin. He was awake during all of this."</p><p>"Frank is back," Rossi said and shook his head.</p><p>The entire team was quiet as they sat in took in the loss of one of their own. Emily glanced around the room. "Frank?"</p><p>"One of the most prolific serial killers we've ever encountered. He held hostage a school bus of children in the desert because he wanted the love of his life, Jane, and an escape. We had no choice but to make a deal with him to get the children," JJ said and played with her necklace. "He's dangerous."</p><p>"His kill count is in the hundreds," Hotch said and looked down at the file in front of him.</p><p>"That's not all. When investigators were going through Gideon's belongings, they found this," Strauss said and showed the picture of a ripped-out page from a notebook.</p><p>"He has Gideon's victim page," Spencer said as his jaw dropped. "Gideon had a journal he constantly wrote in. The first page was a list of all the victims he had saved to remind him why he did this job. Now that it's gone, anyone on that list can be in danger."</p><p>"How many names were on there?" Derek asked.</p><p>"Close to a fifty," Hotch said and ran a hand down his face. They all were silent.</p><p>"Why would he be back here then? I thought the whole point of his escape was to be Jane?" JJ asked and sat back in her chair.</p><p>"He must think we have her," Rossi said and sighed. "We have to find her first."</p><p>"Okay, here's what we're going to do. JJ start calling around local police departments. If Jane is anything like the last time, they probably have her locked up already for distributing the peace. The rest of us are going to start going through Gideon's files, filtering out every single person who's in the D.C. area. He has to be here still if Jane is here," Hotch said, and everyone broke off, not wasting any time to start working.</p><p>Hours had passed, and the team made countless phone calls. Two coffee pots later, and the team wasn't nearly done calling victims to account they were okay.</p><p>Strauss walked in and sighed. They all knew exactly what that meant. "A woman, Rebecca Bryant, was just found in her apartment. One cut from her genitalia to her chin killed her."</p><p>"The Fisher King's daughter. I was just about to call her," Derek said and sighed as he buried his face in his hands. JJ walked into the conference room in a hurry.</p><p>"I think I found Jane. Beat cops picked up a woman who was ranting and raving about needing to talk to the BAU. She uh, assaulted one of the police officers and is being processed as we speak," JJ said and handed Hotch the report about Jane.</p><p>"Spencer, Emily, go pick her up and bring her here. Do not mention anything about Gideon being dead," Hotch said and handed Emily the report. The two got up and practically ran out of the conference room. "What's different about last time?"</p><p>"He used children as a ruse to get what he wanted," JJ said and sighed. No case involving children was ever good.</p><p>"No doubt he'll do it again," Strauss said and crossed her arms.</p><p>"Let's start looking at relocations of victims on the list who've moved to the D.C. area after their case," Hotch said and started flipping open files. The rest of them there following.</p><p>"Someone help me! Excuse me! I don't want to be in here! Help me!" Jane yelled and banged on the gate of the cell.</p><p>"Jane!" Emily said as the guard opened the door.</p><p>"Someone get in here and get this mouthy bitch out of here," another woman said. Emily clenched her jaw.</p><p>"Back off. I'm agent Prentiss with the FBI. Jane, do you remember me from Nevada?" Emily asked as she walked into the cell. Jane looked like she was going to cry.</p><p>"I asked for agent Gideon," Jane said softly.</p><p>"We're going to take you to him," Emily said and reached her hand out. Spencer nodding at Jane in encouragement.</p><p>"He's coming for me, isn't he?" Jane asked and walked out of the cell. She grabbed onto Emily's arm. "Gideon was right. He's not the man he thinks he is."</p><p>"Jane, he's already here," Spencer said softly as the two agents escorted her out of the police station.</p><p>"Tracy Bell," JJ said. "Hotch, it has to be her. She and her family relocated here only two months after her case. She's the only one not accounted for that's here."</p><p>"Let's move," Hotch nodded and Morgan. The two men not saying a word as they ran out of the bullpen. It wasn't long until they were at Tracy Bell's house. The two men, along with swat, entered the house. It was empty.</p><p>"He has her," Morgan said and holstered his weapon. The two men sighing. Son of a bitch.</p><p>Jane lit the cigarette that was between her lips. She inhaled the nicotine and held it before exhaling it. Her eyes were darting around the room. Emily observed her.</p><p>"You want one?" Jane asked and handed the carton to Emily. The woman about to reach forward for one, but she stopped herself.</p><p>"No, thank you," Emily said quietly.</p><p>"Did I do the right thing by coming here?" Jane asked as her hand holding the cigarette shook with nerves.</p><p>"Yes, you did," Emily said and patted her hand across the table. "Please. Sit."</p><p>JJ walked in. Emily's eyes following her as she stood right next to her. She was holding another carton of cigarettes and handed them to Jane.</p><p>"Frank hasn't hurt anyone, has he? Not while he has me," Jane said and sat down across from Emily. Hotch walked in and leaned against the wall, quietly watching the three women.</p><p>"Jane, he doesn't have you. We do," JJ said and held up a notepad with a pen. The ginger woman was quiet.</p><p>"Why did you leave Frank?" Emily asked softly. "What changed?"</p><p>"He did. Frank changed. He changed just like Gideon said. And for that, I think he hates him," Jane said and put out her cigarette. The smell of it alone was driving Emily crazy.</p><p>"Frank wants agent Gideon to stop him. Doesn't he?" Hotch asked and glanced down at the floor.</p><p>"If anyone can, agent Gideon can," Jane said with a small smile.</p><p>"Where is Frank from?" JJ asked.</p><p>Jane fumbled with the carton of cigarettes and lit another one. Emily's eyes following her cigarette closely. Hotch noticed and pursed his lips.</p><p>"Manhattan. He talked about it all the time. He told me how he lived and how he grew up. He wanted me to know everything. He lived with his mother. She was German. Breitkopf. Mary Breitkopf. She was a lawyer," Jane said and smiled. Emily smiling slightly as she talked about him. Jane did love Frank as twisted as it was. She did. "Being on the run with him. It can be very romantic, you know. You should try it sometime."</p><p>JJ clenched her jaw as Emily's eyes stared straight ahead. Little did Jane know this was a very uncomfortable situation for Emily to be in. Well, for all of them, actually.</p><p>"Did Frank try to hurt anyone when he was with you?" Emily asked. Jane didn't say anything as she locked eyes with Emily.</p><p>"Is it wrong?" Jane asked softly.</p><p>"Is what wrong?" Emily asked and tilted her head.</p><p>"Loving Frank," Jane said with tears in her eyes.</p><p>"You don't choose who you fall in love with," Emily said and sighed softly. JJ and Hotch both looking towards the woman, very quiet. "I think, if you spend enough time with someone, you have no choice but to fall in love."</p><p>"Maybe he thought you could change him," Hotch said and stuffed his hands in his pocket. It was evident that statement wasn't directed solely at Jane. JJ was quiet. Her suspicions were correct. Jane was especially quiet.</p><p>"He tried to hurt you, didn't he?" Emily asked and reached out for Jane's hand. The woman burst into tears as she nodded.</p><p>"That's why I came here," Jane said through her sobs. The three agents' hearts were breaking. "But if I get back to him, he won't hurt anyone."</p><p>"Jane," Hotch said softly. "Frank killed agent Gideon."</p><p>Jane's sobs only increased. Her hands dropping the cigarette into the ashtray before covering her mouth.</p><p>"I'm so sorry," Emily said softly. Emily had tears in her eyes as she looked at Jane. The raven-haired woman standing up and excusing herself as she left. Both Hotch and JJ made a move to follow after her, but JJ got out first.</p><p>"Emily," JJ called out, making the raven-haired woman stop in her tracks and turn around.</p><p>"What is it, JJ?" Emily asked.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For everything. For hurting you. For, for being mad at you. For everything, Em, everything," JJ said and wiped a tear from her eye. "This apology is long overdue, but I couldn't just go on without saying it. I am truly sorry, Emily."</p><p>"I meant what I said in there, JJ. You don't have a choice. Don't apologize for falling in love with someone," Emily said and gave her a soft smile. The two walking into the conference room together.</p><p>"Frank sees Jane as his mother," Garcia said, and the sentence alone made her skin crawl.</p><p>"We find the mother. We find Frank," Morgan said and crossed his arms.</p><p>"She's from Manhattan. Mary Breitkopf," JJ said and placed the notebook down in front of Garcia. Emily pulling a chair up to Garcia. The technician was typing away.</p><p>"Frank said in the diner that his name stems from German roots. If Jane is a figment of his mother, she should have been in her late teens when she immigrated here to the United States," Derek said and took a sip of his coffee.</p><p>"So late fifties," JJ said and shrugged her shoulders.</p><p>"I've got three Mary Breitkopfs in Manhattan from the fifties," Penelope said.</p><p>"She was lawyer," Emily said, bounced her leg up and down in nerves.</p><p>"No lawyers," Penelope said and looked around the room. Rossi looked out the window.</p><p>"Is there a hooker in there?" he asked without even looking at them. Penelope glanced up at him.</p><p>"Just one," Penelope said.</p><p>"He wouldn't tell Jane the truth. He was embarrassed by his mother. It only makes sense since Jane is seen as a loving mother figure. You wouldn't want someone an exact copy of your mother," Rossi said and turned back to them.</p><p>"I know I wouldn't," Emily mumbled, making JJ chuckle next to her.</p><p>"She's still alive," Garcia said and sent the address to JJ and Reid. They both nodded at each other before leaving. The rest of the team is finally getting a breather. Anderson walked in and handed Rossi a letter.</p><p>"For you, sir," Anderson said and walked out of the room. Derek and Emily furrowed their eyebrows. Hotch walked into the room and saw Rossi opening the letter.</p><p>"Union station. Seven A.M.," Rossi read. The five agents were looking back and forth between each of them.</p><p>"If JJ and Reid find Tracy Bell, he's basically surrendering himself to us," Emily said and sat back in her chair.</p><p>"That's if they find her," Derek said and sighed.</p><p>This wasn't good.</p><p>The following day, and Hotch, Morgan, Prentiss, and Rossi, along with countless others, were at Union station. The station being evacuated by any P.D. that they could spare.</p><p>They had finally found him. Frank sat quietly on a bench, watching all the people get escorted out.</p><p>"Frank," Hotch said and walked up the platform.</p><p>"Agent Hotchner. I'm so glad we could meet formally," Frank said with a smirk. "Do you have something for me?"</p><p>"No, I don't," Aaron said and clenched his jaw.</p><p>"Then I guess you'll never find poor little Tracy Bell," Frank said and chuckled. Hotch sighed softly.</p><p>"Bring her in," Hotch said into his earpiece.</p><p>Emily walked in with Jane on her arm. Frank saw her and his eyes widened. "Jane! Finally, I've come all this way looking for you."</p><p>"You killed Gideon," Jane said sadly.</p><p>"Without you. I'm lost," Frank said and reached his hand out towards Jane. Emily's grip on her arm tightened.</p><p>"Tracy, Frank," Emily said, slightly irritated with the man now. Jane shook in anger and sadness.</p><p>"Stop it, Frank. I'm not coming," she said as tears started to weld in her eyes.</p><p>"It's you and me. Forever," Frank said and took two steps when Rossi mirrored him with his gun drawn.</p><p>"I can't go with you," Jane said.</p><p>"I will never be taken by these people, and without you, I will not stop. Not ever," Frank said and glanced at Rossi and Hotch with disgust in his eyes.</p><p>"You took all those lives just because your mother was a whore?" Rossi asked. Frank's jaw clenched as he looked at him in the eye. "Mary Louise Breitkopf. She immigrated when she was eighteen and lived on the upper east side of Manhattan. She gave birth to her only son Frank Breitfkopf. A bright but ultimately strange boy. A boy only a mother could love. Even with three jobs, she couldn't provide for this unique child. So she turned to the world's oldest profession. The boy witnessed everything. There's nothing special about you, Frank. Common. Boring."</p><p>"Nobody understands us, Jane. This world's not made for you and me. We both were so happy. And we both had a lot of fun," Frank said. Flashes of them being together popped into Jane's mind. She let go of Emily and pushed past her.</p><p>"Jane, don't listen to him. He sees you as his mother. Nothing more or less," Hotch said and glanced over at the woman walking towards him.</p><p>"Come with me, Jane. It doesn't have to end here. I love you," Frank said as Jane finally took his hand. They smiled widely at the other.</p><p>"I love you too," Jane said as she heard the train coming. Without thinking, Frank pulled the two of them off the platform, getting hit by the train in the process.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring. </p><p>Hotch pulled out his cellphone and answered it. "Hotch, we got her. She was in the apartment. And we found Frank's first kill."</p><p>"Meet us back at the office," Hotch said, and a weight was lifted from his shoulders. At least the little girl was safe.</p><p>The team all sighed as the case ended. At least it had ended. They all made their way back to Quantico.</p><p>Derek, Penelope, JJ, Spencer, and Emily all were in the bullpen chatting away with each other. Rossi admired the bond from his new office. He grabbed the bag and walked over to Hotch's office.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Come in," Hotch said and looked up a the door. Rossi entered with a smile on his face. "Dave? What's that?"</p><p>"I got you this," Rossi said and handed Hotch a bag. "Take it as a very late birthday present."</p><p>Hotch opened the bag and pulled out a brand new bottle of scotch, a twenty-year-old bottle of scotch, to be exact. Aaron smiled down at the bottle. "You were always an excellent gift-giver."</p><p>"And it serves as liquid courage," Rossi said and smiled. Hotch looked up at him with his eyebrows furrowed. Dave glanced back at Emily, who was sitting and laughing with the rest of his team. "Oh, come on, Aaron. I've only seen you look at one other woman like that. And by the ring not around your finger, I take it you're not with her anymore."</p><p>"No, I'm not," Hotch said and watched Emily. Her smile causing her eyes to crinkle and her dimple to pop out on her cheek.</p><p>"Think about it. I think you'd two make a great couple," Rossi said and patted Hotch's arm. He didn't say anything else as he walked out. Aaron's eyes followed as the rest of the team all gathered their stuff. Emily looked over at his office and locked eyes with him.</p><p>"Hey, guys. I'll catch up," Emily said, and the rest of the team didn't question it. She beckoned Hotch to come out of his office. He listened and smiled at her.</p><p>"Aaron," Emily called out. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows. Emily took a deep breath. "Do you think she changed him?"</p><p>Both knew exactly what this was about. Hotch leaned over the railing.</p><p>"She changed him. The one person who trusted him and believed in him noticed it. It was only a matter of time until everyone else started to sense a change as well. She changed him for the better," Hotch said and smiled softly at Emily. The raven-haired woman adjusting her bag on her shoulder and smiled back.</p><p>"I hope he liked that change," Emily said and bit her lip. "Goodnight, Aaron."</p><p>"Goodnight, Emily."</p><p>Rossi: "The way he looked at you. I got it then. He loved you, and it was killing him." Cassandra Clare.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ooooo i'm so excited for the next chapter y'all are going to love it ☺️</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sadly this will be the last update for daily updates. i start school again tomorrow and i'm so not happy about it 🙄</p><p>but i hope you guys enjoyed them. and more kisses as this book is about to hit 4k reads on wattpad and is now over 1k on ao3. kisses and love to all. </p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: drinking, minimal swearing<br/>word count: 3794</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily: "The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space." Marilyn Monroe. </p><p>"I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving," Derek said and sighed.</p><p>"I've been craving some Italian food," Spencer said. Derek looked over at him and pointed his finger.</p><p>"Now that, pretty boy, is a great idea," Derek said and smiled. "What about you, Prentiss? You want some pasta and maybe lady and the tramp it with Hotch?"</p><p>"You're a fucking idiot," Emily said and rolled her eyes as the two men laughed at her. "I was slacking it this week, so I have a hill to do. I don't want to come to work tomorrow with a lot to do, and I'm taking the weekend off, so help me, God. You guys go ahead."</p><p>"I'll let JJ, Rossi, and Penelope know," Derek said and pulled out his phone. "We can always bring you something, Em."</p><p>"I appreciate it, really. But it's fine. I'll order something for delivery," Emily said and picked up her pen. She dove back into her files as Derek and Spencer both shrugged.</p><p>It wasn't long after that the two left with the rest of them. Emily flipped through reports and files, now kind of regretting not going for at least food. But she wanted the weekend off. She deserved it.</p><p>Hotch glanced over outside and saw one lone agent still there working. He pursed his lips and talked himself up the courage to go talk to Emily.</p><p>Come on, Hotchner.</p><p>Aaron stood up and walked out the door. Emily didn't even hear him. That's how concentrated she was.</p><p>"Hey," Hotch said and walked down the stairs. Emily looked up at him before rubbing her eyes. "You're here late."</p><p>"I was slacking it this week. Now I have a price to pay," Emily said and looked down at the six files that needed to be complete.</p><p>"You want a drink?" Hotch asked and leaned against her desk with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Emily sat back in her seat and crossed her legs.</p><p>"It's a little late for O'Keefe's, don't you think?" Emily asked and glanced down at the time. It was half an hour until midnight.</p><p>"Well, it's your lucky day. I have a twenty-year-old scotch bottle in my office, brand new. Rossi gave it to me," Hotch said and smiled down at Emily. He stuck his hand out. Emily looked at his hand and then his files. "They'll be there tomorrow. Just one drink."</p><p>"Okay fine," Emily said and grabbed his hand. He helped her to his feet before the two made their way to his office.</p><p>Emily sat down in the chair across from Hotch and took off her heels. She sighed in relief as she sat back in the chair. Hotch grabbed two glasses he kept in the office and the new bottle.</p><p>"So what was the occasion that Rossi got you that?" Emily asked as Hotch poured them both some of the liquor. "The two of you seem close."</p><p>"It was a late birthday present," Hotch said and chuckled. "Dave always misses my birthday."</p><p>"No way, we missed your birthday?" Emily asked as Hotch handed her the glass.</p><p>"It was before you joined. November second," Hotch said and sat down in his chair. Emily crossed her legs as she swirled the liquor around in the glass. "When's yours, so I don't forget it."</p><p>"October twelfth," Emily said. Hotch was mentally writing it down. "So now that I have you here. I want to pick at the mind of Aaron Hotchner. Something has been bugging you. I can sense it."</p><p>"What is it you want to know?" Aaron asked as he and Emily clinked their glasses together and took a sip of the liquor.</p><p>"Everything," Emily said and sat back.</p><p>"So you want to profile me?" Hotch asked and raised an eyebrow. Emily nodded and had a slight smile on her face. "Okay, let's see what you got."</p><p>"Aaron Hotchner. Probably an only child or the oldest. I think you would be looser if you were the youngest. Not ex-military but disciplined enough to straighten you out, which makes you good at keeping secrets. My gut tells me you don't like the name commander in chief, but because you have that title, you make sure to protect the people who look up to you. You're an old-timer. Rock music, black and white films," Emily said, making Hotch laugh. "Not necessarily a typical alpha male. Not really into sports. More loving than your typical alpha judging by the lengths you go to to be a good father. I'd say you didn't have a close relationship with either of your parents and for that, you overcompensate with Jack. Am I close?"</p><p>"You're right. I'm the oldest child. I have a younger brother named Sean. He lives up in New York. I didn't have a great relationship with either of my parents. And you're right, I don't like being the guy in charge because when things go wrong, I get blamed for it," Hotch said and took a sip of the liquor. "And I'm not an old-timer."</p><p>"Who's your favorite musician?" Emily said and squinted her eyes. Aaron shook his head and leaned back into his chair. "It's a classic, isn't it?"</p><p>"The Beatles," Hotch said and ran his tongue over his canine teeth. Emily laughed and set her drink down.</p><p>"I fucking knew it," Emily said and clapped her hands together. "Come on, that was good."</p><p>"Alright, my turn," Hotch said and leaned forward. He interlaced his fingers together and squinted his eyes. "Emily Prentiss. Obviously, from common knowledge, an only child. Rebel child and never one to follow the rules. My guess is that you hadn't changed much from when I met you in college: Rock and heavy metal music, all black clothing, bad relationships with both of your parents. You keep your head down when need be, but the second someone tries to walk over you, you set them straight. Always one to speak your mind and never let a man tell you what to do. That's why you didn't like me when you first got here."</p><p>"I have you know I liked you when I first got here. I was just being watched like a hawk. And I have broadened my taste in music," Emily said and rolled her eyes. Hotch laughed and tilted his head. "Your guess is as good as mine as to when the last time I saw my mother was. My father, uh, don't even get me started on him. I think some fathers try to convince themselves they're good, but in reality, it's just the title they want."</p><p>"My dad sent me to a boarding school. Believe it or not, I was the rebel kid. When I was in middle school, I was constantly getting in trouble with teachers and other students," Hotch said, and Emily's jaw dropped. "A kid named Douglas Briggs, I got so mad at him for whatever reason that I broke his nose. Thankfully for me, they just sent me off to boarding school and not to juvie."</p><p>"Wow, here I thought little Aaron Hotchner was a science geek and book worm like Reid," Emily said and took a sip of her liquor.</p><p>"Oh, just because I was breaking noses didn't stop me from winning a science fair my sixth-grade year," Aaron said, making Emily laugh. "I'm a man of many mysteries."</p><p>"I feel like you, and I would have rocked the world together. Two neighborhood rebel kids being at the top of the FBI would make a great story," Emily said sarcastically. "Thankfully, I was never around long enough to form bullies. I did maybe eight months at a school at a time. But on the downside, I only made two-ish long-lasting friendships."</p><p>"Did you eat alone in the bathroom?" Hotch asked with a small smile. Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"I ate in the corner of the lunchroom by myself for your information," Emily said and took a sip of the liquor.</p><p>"There's no shame about it. I ate in the bathroom. It wasn't great," Hotch said and laughed. "At least now I get to eat in the comfort of an office."</p><p>"Speaking of food. I'm starving. We could order greasy food to balance the scotch," Emily said and kicked her feet up on the opposite chair to her. Hotch pulled out his phone.</p><p>"Lucky, Dave and I have connections to Bozzelli's down the road. They only deliver this late for us," Hotch said and placed his phone to his ear. "Hey, Marco, it's Aaron Hotchner."</p><p>Emily smiled as she grabbed the bottle and poured Hotch and herself some more scotch.</p><p>"Yeah, I know it's late. But can I ask a favor? We're exhausted and need only the best meatball sub in Washington, d.c. Do you mind if I place an order?" Hotch said and hovered his hand over the phone. He whispered a 'what do you want' to Prentiss, who simply said back 'the best thing they got.' "Yeah, let me get two meatball subs on the garlic bread rolls, and that'll be it. You're the best, bye."</p><p>"I never thought I would see the day you wave your badge to get something you want," Emily said and crossed her arms. "Maybe I'm affecting you, Hotchner."</p><p>"And we're putting this away. You're still driving home," Hotch said and grabbed the liquor bottle and stashed it away.</p><p>"Next week, I'll take a cab if that means you and I can sit here and drink scotch after work," Emily mumbled, making Hotch smile.</p><p>"You hate cabs," Hotch said and chuckled.</p><p>"You hate regular clothes if we're stating the obvious," Emily said and rolled her eyes.</p><p>"You know, I actually prefer jeans and a t-shirt, thank you very much," Hotch said as he stood up and shrugged off his jacket. Emily watched him with a small smile on her face. He undid his tie and threw it in his bag.</p><p>"Now that's surprising," Emily said and pointed her finger at him. The two smiled at each other.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Anderson stood at the doorway with a file in his hand. Emily's eyebrows furrowed. "Anderson! It's late. What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Strauss wanted me to stay with her while she finishes up some reports. It's sounds important," he said and shrugged his shoulder. "This report is for you. It's just a routine assessment of the team."</p><p>"Thanks, Anderson," Hotch said and grabbed it from him. "We just ordered some food. Do you want anything? I can call them really quick to make it."</p><p>Anderson looked back and forth between the two. He knew something was going on between them. Rumors fly around fast at the BAU.</p><p>"No, thank you, sir, but I appreciate it," Anderson said and nodded his head as he left. The two saying their goodbyes as he walked away.</p><p>"You're a good guy," Emily said and twirled around a piece of hair in her fingers. Hotch looked back at her with a smug grin. "You take care of the people you love."</p><p>"Always," Hotch said and smiled over at her. Emily watched him sit back down. He was definitely more relaxed than before. "I see the wheels turning in your head. What are you thinking?"</p><p>"I'm just admiring what few people get to see," Emily said and placed her hand under her chin. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows. "You. Relaxed. It's practically a miracle."</p><p>"Are you going to keep making fun of me the rest of the night? Because two can play at that game," Hotch said and shook his head. The two continued with their conversation for a short while before a man walked into the bullpen. He walked up the stairs and towards the two agents.</p><p>"I have an order for Aaron Hotchner," he said and held up the bag. Hotch thanked him and paid him forty bucks. Twenty for the food. Twenty for the delivery. The delivery man thanked him kindly and walked out of the bullpen without another word.</p><p>Aaron made a show of taking out the two sandwiches. "I meant what I said on the phone. They have the best meatball sub in all of Washington. But that's my own bias."</p><p>"I will gladly be the judge of that," Emily said and took a sip of her scotch. She was planning on making it last. Hotch sat down across from her as the two dug into their sandwiches. Emily took one bite, and she was in love. Her eyes rolling at the taste. Hotch had a prideful smile on his face as they ate. "Holy shit. I don't do greasy food much but oh my God."</p><p>"It's good to endure," Hotch said and covered his mouth while he chewed.</p><p>"You're fattening me up, Aaron," Emily said and shook her head. Hotch didn't say anything as he just took another bite of his sandwich with a slight smile on his lips. "Thank you for this. You're a lifesaver."</p><p>"You're welcome. I'm just glad you like it," Aaron said. It seemed like the food had come and gone in a matter of seconds. The two were full from the huge sandwiches. Emily sat back in her seat and watched Hotch as he shut his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "You're staring."</p><p>"I'm just thinking," Emily said and bit her lip. Hotch opened up one eye to look at her.</p><p>"About?"</p><p>"How much you've warmed up to me," Emily said, a small smile on her lips. "Now you're letting me into your office to have a drink with you."</p><p>"I was never going to get rid of you. This team needs more powerful, confident women," Aaron said and opened both his eyes. "Powerful women are what run this place. Look at you, JJ and Garcia."</p><p>"Most men are intimidated by a powerful woman," Emily said and shrugged her shoulders.</p><p>"Well, thank God I'm not like most men," Hotch said and smiled softly.</p><p>"I never suspected you to be a flirt," Emily said and licked her lips.</p><p>"Let me take you out to dinner, Emily," Hotch said and bit the inside of his cheek as Emily looked at him with disbelief in her eyes.</p><p>"Aaron Hotchner, are you trying to ask me out on a date?" Emily asked and tilted her head.</p><p>"I'm trying," Hotch said and smirked at the woman.</p><p>"I could ruin you," Emily said and squinted her eyes to try and be intimidating to him. Hotch shifted in his chair. "Make your life a living hell."</p><p>"I know. And that's a chance I'm perfectly willing to take," he said and rubbed his fingers together. "What do you say?"</p><p>"Well, I do have one thing to let you know of before I say yes to anything," Emily said and ran a finger over the rim of her glass. "I'm not the marrying type."</p><p>Hotch chuckled and pursed his lips. "Well, we'll see about that. I am marriage material."</p><p>Emily laughed and sat back against her chair. She licked her lips as she looked at Hotch. The man smirking at her.</p><p>"And I like my steak medium-rare," Emily said as she took a sip from her drink. "Mmm, and potatoes and asparagus on the side."</p><p>"Noted. So is that a yes?" Hotch asked and felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Because I'd love to have my ribeye with potatoes and steam veggies."</p><p>"It's a date," Emily said and finished off the liquor in her glass. Hotch mentally patting himself on the back as he finished the rest of his alcohol as well. "It's late. We should get going. Thank you for dinner and the drink."</p><p>"You're welcome," Hotch said and stood up. Emily grabbed her shoes and slipped them on. Aaron grabbed his jacket. He didn't bother to put it on again.</p><p>The two gathered their stuff before heading to the garage. Hotch offering Emily his arm as they walked. The raven-haired woman gladly accepted it.</p><p>Hotch walked her to her car. The two were quiet when they approached it. Aaron opened the back door for her before stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Are you sure you're good to drive?"</p><p>"I'll be okay, Aaron," Emily said, throwing her things in the back before she turned. The man was towering over her as he shut the door. She placed her hand against his stomach and smiled. The two stopped what they were doing and just stared at the other.</p><p>Do it.</p><p>Hotch placed a hand on her cheek and waited for any sign of hesitation from Emily. There wasn't any. He leaned in, the two shutting their eyes.</p><p>Beep. Beep. Beep.</p><p>The two pulled away as Anderson walked into the garage, unlocking his car. He saw the two there and waved. "Goodnight, you two!"</p><p>"Goodnight, Anderson," they both said, slightly annoyed at the man interrupting. Emily wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him into a hug. Hotch wrapped his arms around Emily and nuzzled his face into her neck. They both pulled away and looked back at the other.</p><p>"Goodnight, Emily," Hotch said and leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. The gesture making Emily's heart flutter.</p><p>"Goodnight, Aaron," Emily said and leaned forward, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek. Hotch watched her as she got into her car and drove off.</p><p>Emily opened the door to her apartment and sighed as she set down her things. The woman made her way through her apartment to her bedroom. She kicked off her shoes and stripped herself of her clothing. She opted just for a one-piece red nightgown. Emily sat at the edge of her bed and sighed.</p><p>She grabbed her phone and dialed the first person she could think of. The phone ringing as Emily paced back and forth.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Hey. Uh, I need your advice," Emily said and bit at her nails on her free hand. "It's about Hotch."</p><p>"Is he okay?" Derek asked and furrowed his eyebrows. He held a finger up to Rossi and Reid.</p><p>"Yeah, he's fine. I just, he uh, he asked me out on a date," Emily said and took a deep breath. "And I don't know what I'm supposed to do! I mean, he's really nice and really attractive, but I don't know how to do that. The last relationship I had ended in a shit show."</p><p>"Okay, Prentiss, slow it down," Derek said and held his hand up as if the woman could see him. "Have you been drinking?"</p><p>"Just one. In his office," Emily said and ran a hand through her hair. Derek mentally cursed himself. He just lost twenty dollars to Penelope. "Derek. Help."</p><p>"I don't know what to tell you, Em. I mean, it seems like you two like each other. This should be a good thing, right?" Derek asked and took a sip of his beer.</p><p>"He's my boss, Derek. It would have been different if we started dating when I was just starting at Yale, but this now it's real," Emily said and sat back down on her bed. "I'm just—I don't know."</p><p>"No, none of that, out with it," Derek said and crossed his arm over his chest.</p><p>"I'm terrified to mess this up," Emily said softly. "He's amazing, and I don't want my bad luck to ruin this perfect thing I have going on here."</p><p>"Prentiss, I can tell you right now. He's not going anywhere. He likes you. You could ruin the entire date, and nothing will make that man lose interest in you," Derek said. Emily bit her lip. Derek was always good at encouraging Emily. She needed it now more than ever.</p><p>"You mean it?" Emily asked.</p><p>"You aren't doubting yourself now, are you? Emily, any person is lucky to have you. I want you to get your head out of that bad space it's been in since JJ. Hotch isn't going to think less of you because you're nervous about a date. He's nervous himself. You gotta stop letting fear direct your life, Em. Just feel it out for right now," Derek said and ordered another drink. His eyes glancing over to JJ and Garcia as they walked back towards the table from the bathroom. "Get some rest. Maybe it's just your clouded head that's talking."</p><p>"Thanks, Derek," Emily said before hanging up the phone. Garcia and JJ both furrowed their eyebrows.</p><p>"Who was that?" JJ asked and slid into the booth. Derek didn't say anything as he handed Penelope a twenty-dollar bill. The woman grabbed it and threw a fist up in victory. Spencer sighed and handed Penelope a twenty.</p><p>"Emily," Derek said and shook his head.</p><p>"Is she okay?" JJ asked and took a sip of the wine in front of her.</p><p>"Yeah, just overthinking," Derek said and looked between Garcia and Spencer. The three decided it'd be best for JJ to hear the news of the two going on a date from Emily herself.</p><p>It was the following day, and Emily walked into the BAU. She had gotten a good night's sleep and was recharged for the last day of her week. Emily walked into the bullpen, and her jaw hung open as a beautiful bouquet of white carnations were on her desk. Emily ignored the stares of her teammates as she walked up to the flowers and grabbed the card.</p><p>Medium-rare, potatoes, and asparagus on me next Saturday? a.h.</p><p>Emily tapped her finger against the card and glanced up at the window for Hotch's office. She watched him flip through files. She smiled to herself and set the card in her pocket.</p><p>JJ walked into the bullpen and saw Emily standing there with her bouquet. Her lips were forming a tight smile as she watched Emily admire them.</p><p>Let it go, JJ. Just let it go.</p><p>JJ: "Humans are suspicious and jealous creatures. When they see something perfect, they want to find a flaw." Gosho Aoyama.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hotchniss first date chapter coming up and i already have so many ideas for it🤩</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>surprise, surprise, salem is alive and drowning in school work and tears🥳</p><p>i really miss being able to update daily but my school work comes first i guess🤚🏼 but anyways let's enjoy some fluffy Hotchniss </p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing, mentions of drinking, NSFW mentions, 18+<br/>word count: 3956</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Penelope: "Maybe love at first sight isn't what we think it is. Maybe it's recognizing a soul we loved in a past life and falling in love with them again." Kamand Kojouri</p><p>"I don't know about all of you, but I am exhausted," Rossi said and threw his jacket over his shoulder.</p><p>"We leave tomorrow at six. Everyone just try and get some rest," Hotch said, and everyone in the elevator nodded. His eyes glanced over at Emily. She was leaning against the metal wall of the elevator. Her eyes shut as the exhaustion took over her body. She was reasonably sure that she could fall asleep standing up.</p><p>The elevator dinged, and the six agents piled out of it.</p><p>"Goodnight, guys," JJ said and rubbed her eyes.</p><p>"Goodnight," Spencer mumbled and made his way to</p><p>his hotel room. Derek chuckling as Spencer ran into a wall.</p><p>"Goodnight," Derek said and guided Spencer towards his room. Hotch, Rossi, and Emily all made their way to their side of the hallway. The three agents all painfully quiet.</p><p>"Goodnight, you two," Rossi said over his shoulder as he made his way to his room.</p><p>"Goodnight," Aaron said softly as he opened his hotel room. Emily just waved the two of them off. She slumped as she entered her hotel room. She tossed her gun in the safe and bent over to take her heels off.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Emily opened the door to her hotel room and smiled as Hotch stood there. "Aaron, what are you doing? I thought we said goodnight already?"</p><p>"Well, that was for the team. I didn't want anyone bothering us while we went," Aaron said and pulled the flower out from behind his back. A single red rose. "I know you're probably exhausted, and I am too. But, it is Saturday, and I promised you a medium-rare with potatoes and asparagus. Plus, we're already dressed."</p><p>Emily looked down at the white top she had on and the black slacks. Hotch was in his grey suit from working today.</p><p>"You're killing me, Hotchner," Emily said and grabbed his hand. She grabbed her hotel key and left with him. Hotch was secretive with what he was doing. They rode down the elevator to the first floor and went towards the back. "Where are we going? Valet is over there?"</p><p>"I didn't want you to have to go through the trouble of a car ride and waiting for a table and whatnot. So, I brought it here," Hotch said and opened the door. The pool was still lit up with a picnic blanket at the top rock where the lifeguard tower was. Emily's eyes widened at the fairy lights on the pavilions, and her favorite bottle of red wine was in the middle of their picnic blanket.</p><p>"Plus, I can thought I could throw you in the pool afterwards."</p><p>"You must have a death wish then," Emily said and smiled as she turned around and wrapped her arms around him. "This is lovely."</p><p>"Come on. The food is just got here. We don't want it to go cold," Hotch said and grabbed her hand. Emily, with the help of Aaron, slipped off her shoes as they made their way up to the life guard's rock.</p><p>"I thought the pool is closed at this hour. Is that you waving your badge again?" Emily asked and raised an eyebrow. Hotch and her sat down.</p><p>"I'll never reveal my secrets," Hotch said and smiled. "We only have two hours. And we can't make too much noise. Rossi's room is up that way."</p><p>Hotch pointed towards the window with the light still on. Emily followed it and squinted her eyes.</p><p>"It's too bad. I would have loved to take a dip in the pool. I am a great swimmer," Emily said jokingly. Hotch chuckled as he handed Emily her food.</p><p>"I figured that we both could use some air," Hotch said and grabbed his own food from the bag. "I was never a good swimmer. Then when I went to boarding school, I was recruited into the swimming team."</p><p>"Did they make you wear a speedo?" Emily asked and held back her laughter. Hotch glanced over at her with a smirk.</p><p>"Oh, if you just wanted to see me in it, I would have told you to pack a swimsuit," Aaron said with a smile. Emily shook her head as she laughed.</p><p>"You are unbelievable," Emily said and chuckled. Hotch popped open the bottle of wine and poured him and Emily some. He handed her the glass. The two clinked their glasses together before taking a sip.</p><p>"That's not a no," Hotch said jokingly and cut into his steak. Emily didn't hesitate to dive into the potatoes. Hotch chuckled as Emily was immediately quiet. The power to making a woman happy was always through food.</p><p>"Maybe it's a good thing that this case is in Texas. The stars are a lot brighter here," Emily said and looked towards the stars. She grabbed an asparagus stick and bit into it. She pointed towards the constellation. "That right there. That's Ursa Major. Right over there next to that one massive star, there's Orion."</p><p>"You studied the constellations?" Hotch asked and chewed on his steak. Emily took a bite out of her steak as she swayed her head back and forth.</p><p>"Not really. I took it as an elective in college. I figured the 'stars' would tell me something. I've always had an interest in it, I guess," Emily said and took a sip of her wine. "I always said if I didn't get into the bureau, I'd possibly go into astronomy."</p><p>"Did you have a telescope?" Hotch asked and took a sip of his wine.</p><p>"No, but I really wanted one," Emily said softly. "What about you? What would Aaron Hotchner be if he wasn't the big boss at the BAU?"</p><p>Hotch pursed his lips as he kept his eyes on his food. "If I tell you, you can't laugh at me."</p><p>"I make no promises but go ahead," Emily said and took a forkful of potatoes. Hotch sighed and shook his head.</p><p>"A photographer," Aaron said and looked over at Emily. The raven-haired woman had a smile on her face. "I like taking pictures whenever I can. I have all these albums of photographs that I took of my time in college. Some people said that they were pretty good, and with practice, I could get better. I took most of my pictures on a polaroid camera or those disposable ones with just the film strips."</p><p>"I don't know what I was expecting, but that certainly wasn't one of them," Emily said and smiled. "I thought maybe like an MMA fighter, or I don't know, an accountant. But somehow, photography fits you. Maybe if one day I decide the bureau isn't for me and I go be a Hollywood superstar, I'll have you take my headshots."</p><p>"Am I on a date with Hollywood's next it girl?" Hotch asked jokingly. Emily ruffled her hair and smirked at him.</p><p>"Maybe, maybe not," Emily said and laughed.</p><p>Meanwhile, JJ was hunched over the toilet in her hotel room. She had spent the last ten minutes throwing up everything in her stomach. Her head was spinning, and she wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep from the exhaustion.</p><p>She had been feeling sick for a while now. JJ had just figured it was a stomach bug, but this was getting too much now for her.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>JJ grabbed her phone from the countertop and answered it. "Hello?"</p><p>"Hey, I saw your message that you were back at the hotel. You feeling okay?" Will asked and leaned against the counter in his kitchen.</p><p>"Yeah, this stomach bug is really kicking my ass," JJ said and sighed. "I'll probably go to the doctor's and have them prescribe me something."</p><p>"JJ," Will said softly. "I put something in your to-go bag before you left. I think you should take it."</p><p>"Will, I'm not taking any medication that isn't—"</p><p>"It's not medicine, JJ. Go get it," Will said and started to tap his foot from nerves. JJ, as weak as she was, managed to get herself up. She walked over to her bag and furrowed her eyebrows. "Do you see it?"</p><p>"Will," JJ said softly. The man ran a hand down the back of his neck. "You don't think I am, do you?"</p><p>"I just want to make sure," Will said and sighed. "Because if that's not it, I'll be on the first flight to Washington tomorrow morning and drive you to the doctor's myself."</p><p>JJ tapped her fingers against the pregnancy test in her hand. She shut her eyes and sighed. "I'll call you back with the results."</p><p>"Okay, I'll be waiting here," Will said and hung up the phone. The man grabbed his beer from in front of him and drank it. There was a possibility of him becoming a dad. He had envisioned his future: a big family, a white house with a deck wrapped around it. Lots of land for his kids and grandchildren to play in. And the blonde woman from Pennsylvania that would mother his children. Will pictured JJ and him sitting out on the porch and watching the lives they created. He wanted all of it, and he was willing to do anything to get it. He had found the love of his life.</p><p>JJ threw her phone down and opened the pregnancy test. Her being pregnant was the last thing she needed right now. She was barely setting her foot in the door at the BAU. Yes, JJ wanted children. But a little bit later down the line.</p><p>Life is messy, random, and nothing fits perfectly into a little box. Actions have consequences, JJ.</p><p>"Oh, and you thought I was done? Oh no, we still have something else in here," Hotch said as Emily leaned back on her elbows. Thanks to Rossi's friend, the food was delicious and had done the job of filling the two agents up. Emily groaned and tossed her head back.</p><p>"Any more food, and you'll have to carry me to my room," she said and shut her eyes. Hotch chuckled as he opened the box. Emily's curiosity was getting the best of her, and she peeked over. One of her favorites, tiramisu.</p><p>"Garcia told me it was your favorite," Aaron said and smiled as Emily sat up. She shook her head.</p><p>"And here I thought you were a mind reader," Emily said as Hotch handed her a fork. "This was a weakness of mine when my mother was assigned in Italy. Whenever she and I would get into arguments, we never really apologized to one another. But whenever she knew she was in the wrong, she'd make sure to stop by the little corner bakery by our house and get me tiramisu."</p><p>"Well, if that's the case. There is something I want to apologize to you for," Hotch said and placed down the box in Emily's lap. "I'm sorry for being a drill sergeant when you first got here. It wasn't fair how I was treating you. And I hope this tiramisu and constant words of reassurance can patch that up."</p><p>"You are forgiven," Emily said and smiled. "Just so you know, I'm expecting tiramisu every time you fuck up now."</p><p>"And for my apology desert, I'll gladly take a warm brownie with vanilla ice cream on top," Aaron said as he and Emily both dug into the dessert in front of them. Emily chuckled and nodded.</p><p>"You got it," Emily said as they both took a bit of the dessert. Both just hummed at the taste of coffee and booze in their mouth. "I have to hand it to you. You really surprised me. Here I thought you weren't a romantic person."</p><p>"Just you wait. I'm quite the dancer, too," Aaron said and smiled. Emily raised an eyebrow. She didn't say anything as she dropped her fork and stood up. Emily stuck out her hand to Aaron.</p><p>"You can't brag about being a good dancer and not show me," Emily said and beckoned him to take her hand. Aaron squinted his eyes as he dropped his fork. He got up and grabbed Emily's hand.</p><p>"I don't think this is the safest place to be dancing. One trip, and you're in the pool," Aaron said and chuckled as he pulled Emily towards him. She placed a finger over his mouth and shushed him. He chuckled as Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Stop thinking logistics. You're starting to sound like Reid. Plus, it's just us swaying back and forth. Not salsa dancing," Emily said and rested her head against Aaron's. His hand slipped down to her waist and held her directly against him. Emily's hand rested on his shoulder.</p><p>"Luckily for you, I have two left feet when it comes to salsa. But I think I'm pretty good at slow dancing," Aaron said and swayed the two of them back and forth. Emily shut her eyes as they moved together. They both heard nothing except the water trickling down the waterfall and the other's breathing; dancing here together just felt right for the two of them.</p><p>"You're too good to me," Emily said softly. Hotch chuckled as he continued to sway the two. "I'm being serious!"</p><p>"What makes you say that?"</p><p>"You came in out of nowhere and swept me off my feet," Emily said and shook her head. "I didn't even see you coming."</p><p>"Oh, like this?" Aaron asked before picking the woman up by the waist and twirling the two around. Emily screeched as he picked her up. The two laughing as he set her down.</p><p>The laughter caught the attention of a specific FBI agent from his room. He watched as the two got lost in their dancing again. The smiles on the two of their faces warmed his little heart. Rossi smiled as Hotch made Emily laugh.</p><p>"Attaboy, Aaron," Rossi said to himself before peeling himself away from the window.</p><p>"I had to make a good impression," Aaron said and shrugged his shoulders. He pulled away from Emily and made the woman spin under his arm. Emily raised an eyebrow as she spun.</p><p>"Oh yeah? Why is that?" Emily asked and was pulled right against Aaron again.</p><p>"Because you deserve someone who comes in, out of the blue, and sweeps you off your feet. You deserve someone who will pamper you with gifts and words of affirmation," Aaron said as he leaned his head against Emily's. The woman stayed quiet. "Someone who realizes the value of you and doesn't take it for granted."</p><p>"It sounds like you've wanted to tell me this for a while," Emily said and bit her lip. Aaron nodded his head slightly. "It almost sounds like you're talking about yourself."</p><p>"I've wanted to tell you this ever since I met you," Aaron said truthfully. "We talk about being honest with yourself all the time in our line of work. But I don't think I was ever honest with myself. I had a small crush on you from the moment I met you. Of course, I couldn't act on it. But the feelings were there, just buried a bit."</p><p>"You met me when I wore dark makeup and hated the world," Emily said and chuckled. Aaron smiled at the thought.</p><p>"And I still like you now when you wear light makeup and try to find the good in the world," Aaron said softly. Emily smiled widely to herself. The two were still swaying back and forth to the music in their heads.</p><p>"I had a little crush on you too," Emily said and nuzzled her head against Hotch's. "I remember that's why I started to talk to you a little more whenever I was there. I had to talk myself up so I'd get over my nerves and just try talk to you the next time I was home. There was just something about you that was always special to me. You were one of the only people in that house that was nice to me. Who knew you'd be all Romeo with me a few years later."</p><p>"Do you know how to talk to me now?" Aaron asked and pulled back slightly to look at Emily. The raven-haired woman nodded and smiled. "Well, that saves me the trouble of throwing pebbles at your windows and us having to sneak out behind your parents' backs."</p><p>Aaron pulled Emily down and dipped her. The man keeping her there was they smiled at the other—his heart racing at the sight of Emily's face up close.</p><p>Kiss her, just do it.</p><p>Emily had gotten the same idea. The two leaned in, making sure to check for body language that the other was okay with this.</p><p>"Hey, man. Sorry, two hours are up!" the hotel staffer shouted. Both shut their eyes and sighed as Hotch pulled Emily up. They both waved at him as they gathered everything. Both didn't know what to say. They were so close to kissing it was almost painful.</p><p>They gathered everything up before making their way back inside the hotel. Hotch handed the picnic blanket back to the man over the desk. He nodded at him before making his way back to Emily. They made their way to the elevator doors. Emily and him both glancing at each other with smiles on both of their faces.</p><p>"After you," Hotch said and placed his hand over the elevator sensor as it opened. Emily thanked him as she stepped in. The two ignoring the stare coming from the hotel staff. "I think I might have been caught using the badge."</p><p>"Next time, you can take me to the diner for a slice of pie and a cup of coffee," Emily said and chuckled. "Or, just you and I go to my place for dinner?"</p><p>"Are you asking me out now?" Aaron asked and raised an eyebrow. Emily laughed and looked towards the floor.</p><p>"I'm trying," Emily said, imitating Hotch. The man shook his head as the elevator stilled at their floor. The two making their way down the hallway towards Emily's room. "Thank you for tonight. I had a great time."</p><p>"You're welcome. It wasn't technically fine dining, but it was sufficient," Hotch said as the two stood in front of Emily's room. His hands were going directly into his pockets. The two didn't say anything as they just stared at the other. "I'll be right next door if you need anything. Okay?"</p><p>"Of course," Emily said and bit her lip. "Goodnight, Aaron."</p><p>"Goodnight," Hotch said and nodded his head as Emily opened the door. She waved one final goodbye before shutting it. Hotch sighed to himself.</p><p>You had the perfect opportunity, and you blew it.</p><p>He clenched his jaw as he turned and made his way to his hotel room. The man's feet not wanting to move anymore. He couldn't just leave it like that. He couldn't. Hotch turned back and made his way to Emily's room once again. His fist coming up to knock on the door, but it swung open. Emily was there, ready to go to Hotch's room.</p><p>"Oh, uh, I was just coming to find you," Emily said nervously. Hotch didn't say anything as he placed his hands on either side of her face and brought her in. Their lips were finally connecting in a kiss. Emily melting as Hotch cradled her face in his hands. The kiss was sweet, passionate, and just right for one another.</p><p>Emily's hands grabbed at Hotch's tie, pulling him into her room. Aaron shut the door with a kick of his foot as he backed Emily into the wall. Emily's hands wrapping around his neck. It was like Aaron was a mind reader. Hotch caught her as she jumped into his arms. The man carried her, one-handed, to the bed. They crashed down on the mattress and smiled into the kiss. Emily's hands tugging off Hotch's jacket. He didn't even look back as he threw it behind him and continued the kiss. Both of them were blue in the face and pulled away for air. They both smiled at each other.</p><p>"Is this what you want?" Aaron asked softly. Emily placed one of her hands on the back of his head and pulled him down in a sweet kiss. Hotch pulled away and looked down at her, tilting his head.</p><p>"Yes," Emily said as she caught her breath. Hotch smiled as Emily pulled him down again by the tie. Emily pushed him back and got on top of Hotch. The man's hands resting on her hips as the kiss got more frantic. She could feel him poking against her thigh. Emily's hands untying his tie.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Emily and Aaron both pull away from each other and sighed. Emily leaned in and kissed him quickly.</p><p>"Wait right here," Emily mumbled against his lips. He smiled as he sat back and unbuttoned the top two buttons on his shirt. Emily tossed her hair and made herself look presentable as she opened the door.</p><p>JJ stood there with her hands interlaced in front of her. "Hey. Um, can I talk to you?"</p><p>That's when she noticed her tossed hair, wrinkled shirt, swollen lips. JJ's eyes glanced over into her room and saw Hotch sitting there.</p><p>"Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?" Emily asked and made a move to step out of the room, but JJ stopped her.</p><p>"Um, no, it's okay. I didn't realize you were busy with—yeah. I'm sorry for interrupting," JJ said and put her hands up in surrender. "Just come and find me tomorrow. Goodnight, Em."</p><p>Emily reached her hand out and was about to grab JJ's arm, but she stopped herself. Emily turned back and saw Hotch there. He smiled softly at her. He glanced down at his watch and sighed. It was about one in the morning. He stood up, jacket and tie in hand, and walked over to Emily.</p><p>"I'll just let you get some sleep," Aaron said and placed his hand on Emily's shoulder. "You need some rest."</p><p>"Goodnight," Emily said and leaned up, giving him a gentle kiss. Her hand clutched in his shirt to pull him closer. Aaron's hand moving to her lower back as they kissed. Finally, Emily pulled away.</p><p>"Goodnight," Aaron said and kissed her forehead before making his way to his room. Emily watched him as he walked away. Broad shoulders and a tall frame. Emily bit on her nail as she watched him walk. Aaron glanced back and smiled at her before he disappeared into his room. Emily made her way back inside. She leaned against the door and smiled.</p><p>Oh, Aaron Hotchner.</p><p>Spencer: "He kissed me like he's giving me every kiss he wishes he could have given me in the past, and every kiss he'll wish he could give me in the future. All at once." Colleen Hoover.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>what do y'all think is going to happen next?</p><p>I'm a bit stuck with all the ideas I have and I don't know about a time jump yet so who knows really. we're just going with the flow for right now😅</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>disclaimer! again i'm not a smut writer so i'm sorry if it's bad. a lot of you said it wasn't the first time around but i just don't know how to write smut😭</p><p>anyways, maybe drop some ideas of what you'd guys like to see with Hotchniss's relationship so I can incorporate them😌</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: NSFW, smut, 18+, swearing<br/>word count: 4434</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Derek: "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." Jane Austen.</p><p>Emily walked into the BAU with a smile. She made her way up to Hotch's office. The man sat there already flipping through files, hard at work as usual. Emily knocked twice, making Aaron lookup.</p><p>"Good morning," Aaron said and stood up with a smirk. He leaned against the side of his desk, grabbed Emily's arm, and pulled her towards him.</p><p>"Good morning. I got you coffee and a treat," Emily said and placed both on his desk as the man's hand fell to her hip. She ran her hands over his suit jacket. Aaron glanced down at her lips before pulling her in by her hips. Emily smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly. Aaron's hands keeping her right against him as they kissed. The two pulled away from the other and smiled.</p><p>"So we're kissing at work now?" Aaron asked as Emily straightened out his tie. She looked up at him through her eyelashes.</p><p>"I mean, if that's what you want," Emily said and bit her lip. Aaron ducked his head down and smiled at her. "I know I'd want that."</p><p>"Good," Aaron said softly and cupped her cheek. The two leaned in and kissed once again. Emily's hands buried in his hair and pulled him closer. His hands dropping to her waist and pulled her impossibly closer.</p><p>"Woah, check it out," Derek said and chuckled. Penelope's jaw dropped as she walked into the bullpen. The two looking at them before back at each other.</p><p>"Do you think if she whispers in his ear, she can get us all a raise?" Penelope asked, making Derek laugh. Spencer, Rossi, and JJ all walked in and looked towards their line of sight.</p><p>"Well, I'll be damned," Rossi said with a smirk as they pulled away from each other.</p><p>"I don't think I've ever seen Hotch smile that wide before. The only other time was when we all were in the waiting room, and he announced to us that Jack was born," Spencer said and pursed his lips. "Do you think she could get us a raise?"</p><p>"That's what I said!" Penelope said and grabbed Spencer's hand. She, Derek, and Spencer headed to the desks. Rossi took one step before looking back. He saw JJ there. He didn't know how to describe the look she had in her eyes, but he knew what was running through her head.</p><p>"I think you need a pick me up," Rossi said and placed his hand on her shoulder as he guided her to the coffee pot. "What's on your mind?"</p><p>"It's nothing, Rossi," JJ mumbled and opened her travel mug before grabbing one of the pots. The older man didn't say anything as he just looked over at her. JJ sighed and set down the coffee pot. "She looks happy. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy."</p><p>"You say that like you're trying to convince yourself that," Rossi said and grabbed a mug from the rack. He filled it with coffee as he thought of the right words to say. "I don't know what happened between the two of you. I figure that's a story for another time, but you're right. She deserves to be happy, JJ. You both deserve to be happy. I see the way you are with Will, and I see the way she is with Aaron. That's all the two of you could have asked for. You can't let the past dictate the life you want in the future. You learn from it and let it go."</p><p>"I think I learned my lesson," JJ said and scoffed. She clenched her jaw as she glanced over at them. Emily was walking down the stairs as Derek and Penelope leaned in with puckered lips and faked kissing the other. Emily rolled her eyes at the two of them.</p><p>"And that is?" Rossi asked and took a sip of his coffee. JJ tapped her fingers against the mug in her hand.</p><p>"To shut up and listen," JJ said softly. She patted the counter before excusing herself to her office. Emily's eyes catching her as she left. She bit the inside of her cheek before making her way after JJ. The woman took a deep breath as she approached her office.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>JJ turned around from her pile of files and raised her eyebrows. "Hey."</p><p>"Hi," Emily said softly and ran a hand down her pants. JJ sat down in her desk chair and interlaced her fingers in front of her. "I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to talk to you last week. But it, uh, sounded important."</p><p>JJ pursed her lips. "It's a long story. Maybe you and I could have lunch and talk about it? Whenever you're free, of course. It doesn't have to be right away."</p><p>"I'm free tomorrow. I don't have any lunch plans," Emily said and stuffed her hands into her back pockets.</p><p>"Sounds great," JJ said softly. Emily nodded her head as she leaned against the doorway. She looked over the blonde woman. Something was off about her. "My treat. Just let me know what you'd like."</p><p>"Surprise me," Emily said and smiled. JJ nodded as she placed a small portion of the files in front of her. "Don't work so hard, Jareau. Make sure to smell the roses now and then while you still can."</p><p>"I'll make a note of that," JJ said and smiled softly at Emily. The woman nodded her head as she walked off. JJ's eyes following her as she did.</p><p>The workday was relatively slow. Emily opted to ignore the snarky comments and stares from the rest of the team after her and Hotch's love display. This was something she had to get used to. She was now known as the woman who did the unthinkable: have Aaron Hotchner submit to someone.</p><p>Emily felt her phone buzz, and she pulled it out of her back pocket.</p><p>Declan: Hey mom, can we get burgers tonight from the diner? I already asked dad, and he can pick me up in Washington.</p><p>Emily smiled at the text message.</p><p>Emily: Of course, I'll go pick you up too. Get back to class. I know you're hiding out in the bathroom to send me this.</p><p>Declan: Alright, I'll see you then, mom!</p><p>Emily set her phone down and dived back into her files. The raven-haired woman was concentrated on finishing her work so she could leave a little early. It was a forty-five-minute drive from work to go pick up Declan in Reston.</p><p>Spencer and Derek both watched her as she completed her stack of files in three hours, fifteen minutes, and forty-eight seconds. Spencer, of course, keeping track of the time. Emily grabbed all her files before making a B-line to Hotch's office. She knocked twice before walking in. Aaron looked up and saw the stack of files in her hands.</p><p>"I'm guessing you have somewhere to be? Again you could always finish your files in a week, Em," Aaron said and chuckled as she placed them in front of him. Emily interlaced her fingers in front of her and smiled.</p><p>"I don't like having work keep me back. A friend of mine is flying in from out of town. She wants me to go pick her up," Emily said and sat on the edge of Hotch's desk. "Is it alright if I leave early? She's supposed to land in about forty-five minutes."</p><p>"Go ahead," Aaron said, making Emily lean over and hug him quickly. "Be careful, please."</p><p>"I will," Emily said and planted a quick kiss on his lips before getting up. "Bye!"</p><p>"Bye," Aaron said softly by the time Emily was out the door. He watched her as she gathered her stuff. Emily flipping Derek off probably at some comment he made about the kiss. And just like that, Emily was out of the bullpen. Aaron chuckled as he shook his head. He's going to have his hands full with her.</p><p>Emily had gotten to Reston just in time as Declan got out of school. Her son running up to the woman as she leaned against her car. He and Emily embraced in a tight hug. "Oh my boy, I missed you."</p><p>"I missed you too," Declan said as his mom planted a kiss on the side of his head. Emily and him pulled away from each other and got into the car.</p><p>The two made their way to Washington to go to the local diner Declan loved. They sat at their usual table, ordering burgers, fries, lemonade, and a milkshake for Declan of course.</p><p>Declan had told Emily all about his science fair idea and the basketball team he got into. He told Emily about his friends and how they're all nervous about a game with their rival school. Emily just sat back and listened to him talk about everything. She loved to hear about his life and the stories he had about it.</p><p>Emily felt her phone buzz, and she glanced over.</p><p>Aaron: Call me when you're leaving.</p><p>"Who's that?" Declan asked and looked over at his mom's phone.</p><p>"Uh, nobody," Emily said and flipped her phone around. The boy across from her furrowed his eyebrows as he grabbed her phone before Emily could block it. "Hey! Declan!"</p><p>"Aaron," Declan said and tilted his head. "Is he your boyfriend?"</p><p>"Okay, knock it off and eat your burger," Emily said and grabbed her phone. Declan crossed his arms and sat back.</p><p>"He is, isn't he?" Declan asked and squinted his eyes. Emily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.</p><p>"Not officially, but him and I like each other," Emily said simply. "Now, will you please finish your food before it goes cold?"</p><p>"I want to meet him," Declan said and popped a french fry into his mouth. Emily chuckled and shook her head.</p><p>"Not a chance," Emily said and smiled. Declan furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"Mom, I need to see if he's good. I can have a man-to-man talk with him," Declan said and tried to put on a stern face for Emily. She smiled at the antic.</p><p>"He and I work together. And with my job, I don't want you exposed to anyone, honey; we talked about this. My job is dangerous enough. I've had plenty of bad guys try to come after me. And I don't want to double that chance of someone hurting you. I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you," Emily said and took a sip of her lemonade. Declan grumbled as he took a bit of his burger. Emily sighed softly. "I know you're upset. I want nothing more than for you to meet him, baby. We made a deal that you wouldn't be fully exposed to my job until college. It's only a little while longer."</p><p>"Is he nice?" Declan asked softly. Emily smiled.</p><p>"The nicest. He looks mean, but behind closed doors with me, he's a softy," Emily said and scrunched up her face, just thinking about him. "He makes me happy. I know that's the one thing you're worried about."</p><p>"I just don't want him to take you away," Declan said and pursed his lips together. Emily felt the boy's leg start to bounce up and down from nerves.</p><p>"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. You're still my number one boy, okay?" Emily said and reached over and pushed the hair out of Declan's face.</p><p>The door behind them in the diner opened. Emily turned back and saw Tom there. She smiled as she stood up.</p><p>"Hey, you," Emily said and embraced the man. They hugged before Declan got up and hugged his father. Emily ran her hand through Declan's hair before kissing his head. "I'll see you next month. Okay?"</p><p>"Okay," Declan said and wrapped his arms around Emily's waist. Emily hugged him tightly and sighed as they pulled away. "Make sure Aaron is treating you right."</p><p>"I'll make sure of it," Emily said and chuckled. Tom raised an eyebrow. Emily waved him off. "Be careful. Do good in school. And remember—"</p><p>"If need be, always aim for the sternum," Declan finished and nodded his head. Emily chuckled as Declan and her high fived. Tom and Declan said their goodbyes to Emily. The woman watched as they walked out of the diner before disappearing into their car and out into the busy streets of Washington, d.c.</p><p>The raven-haired woman sighed as she got up with her ticket. Emily grabbed her phone and dialed Aaron. Emily paid the woman at the counter.</p><p>"Hello," Emily said and handed the woman thirty dollars in cash.</p><p>"Hey," Aaron said and smiled softly. "You almost home?"</p><p>"I'm just leaving now. Why?" Emily asked and silently thanked the woman as she grabbed the receipt and left the change in the tip jar along with another ten dollars.</p><p>"Well, I'm about to leave the office, and I was really hoping that I could stop by the diner and get us a slice of pie, and you could maybe brew some coffee?" Aaron asked as he packed up everything into his bag. Rossi walked by his office and leaned against the door frame. Emily smiled as she walked out of the diner. "That's if you're not too busy."</p><p>"I'd love to have you over for some pie and coffee as long as you get me some of that caramel apple pie," Emily said and got into her car. Aaron making a mental note of her favorite kind of pie. "I'll see you in a bit."</p><p>"Bye," Aaron said with the biggest smile on his face. Hotch finally looked up to see Rossi there.</p><p>"Can I get a slice of pecan?" Rossi asked jokingly, making Hotch roll his eyes. The man chuckling as Aaron grabbed everything. "Oh, and a little word of advice. If you're going to try and hid something, maybe don't play kissy-face with her in front of the window."</p><p>"Who said I was hiding her?" Aaron asked. Rossi patted his back as they walked out.</p><p>"She's got you wrapped around her finger," Rossi said and leaned against the railing as he watched Hotch wave at him goodbye and rush out of the bullpen.</p><p>Emily had gotten to her apartment and went into panic mode. She ran through each room and made sure that it was dusted, wiped down to look clean, or threw things into her closet that she'd figure out later.</p><p>After about ten minutes, she sighed as she walked into her kitchen and emptied the coffee pot. She quickly added the new coffee into the maker and sat back as she watched it start to brew.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Emily's nerves instantly kicked in. The woman walked towards the door and looked through the peephole. She smiled as she saw Aaron standing there, glancing around nervously. She opened the door, and the two smiled at each other.</p><p>"Hey," Aaron said and showed off the bag in his hand.</p><p>"Hi," Emily said and grabbed onto his tie and pulled him in for a kiss. The two smiled into it. Emily finally pulled away and held his hand as they walked into the kitchen.</p><p>"Are you going to keep pulling at my tie every time you want a kiss?" Aaron asked as he set down the bag and took out the two slices of pies.</p><p>"You wear them, might as well use them for my leverage," Emily said and grabbed the two of them mugs and forks. She walked up to him and grabbed onto his tie again, and pulled him down. Aaron chuckling as Emily kissed him. His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in closer. Emily's hands buried into his hair. The raven-haired woman pulled away, making Hotch chase after her lips. He groaned when she broke away from him.</p><p>She poured both of them coffee before opening her fridge and grabbing the creamer. Aaron sat down on the chair by the aisle. He watched her make her way around the kitchen. Emily glanced back at him and raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"You scare me when you're quiet," Emily said and handed Hotch his coffee. He chuckled as she sat down right next to him.</p><p>"I'm just admiring a view," Aaron said softly and placed one of his hands on Emily's legs. "I don't think I told you this, but you are beautiful. I think it all the time, but I should start telling you."</p><p>"Are you going to make me cry before I even dig into my pie?" Emily asked, making Hotch laugh. "You, Aaron Hotchner, never have to tell me I'm beautiful. I'm a profiler, remember? I can practically see what you're thinking all the time."</p><p>"And what is it that I'm thinking about now?" Aaron asked and grabbed his fork, cutting into his cherry pie. Emily grabbed her cup of coffee and sat back. She squinted her eyes and studied Hotch.</p><p>"Something is bugging you. What exactly? I don't know. But, I want you to tell me so that way I know, I'm right," Emily asked and took a sip of her coffee. Hotch set down his fork and looked over at Emily.</p><p>"Uh, I was hoping to ask you a little more romantically. But, Emily, I like you. And from everything that's been going on between you and me, I think it's safe to say you like me too," Hotch said and placed his arm over the back of Emily's chair. "Can we make this official?"</p><p>Emily licked her lips with a smug look on her face. "I need to hear you ask the question."</p><p>Aaron leaned in closer and pulled Emily closer to him by her leg. The woman's hands coming up and playing with his tie.</p><p>"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss, will you be my girlfriend?" Aaron asked softly. He and Emily locked as she smiled.</p><p>"I thought you'd never ask," Emily said and pulled him in. Their lips collided in a passionate kiss. What started out passionate quickly moved to frantic. </p><p>Emily's hands tugging at his hair. Aaron didn't hesitate to pull Emily off of her chair and on top of him. His hands gripping at her hips. Emily's body subconsciously rolling her hips down onto Hotch. The man groaned softly into their kiss. His lips slowly trailing down from her lips to her neck. Emily smiled as she bit her lip. Her hands tugging off Hotch's jacket as he sucked on her pulse point. Emily couldn't help the low moan that came out of her. That was all the confidence Hotch needed as he stood up with Emily wrapped around him. "First door to the right."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Aaron mumbled against her lips, making Emily smile. They blindly found their way into Emily's bedroom before they crashed down onto the mattress. Aaron tilted Emily's head to the side as his lips found Emily's sweet spot on her neck. The woman moaning softly as he bit and sucked on it. Emily's hands found his tie and pulled it, untying it and tossing it anywhere. She made her way down to his shirt and unbuttoned the top three buttons. Emily pushed Hotch back before crawling on top of him.</p><p>"Am I going to have to fight you to be the assertive one every time we have sex?" Aaron asked as he placed his hands on Emily's hips. The woman smirked as she nodded. "I hope you like losing."</p><p>"Yeah, right," Emily said, grinding down against Hotch. The man tilting his head back as she did. His pants were very tight now that it was almost painful. He soaked up the presence of Emily on top of him as his hands reached up and helped her take off her shirt. A very tight black bra was underneath. She leaned back down and kissed him as she undid his shirt. Emily's lips trailing down from his neck to his chest. She made sure to worship every inch of skin that was exposed. Finally, she undid the last button on his shirt and pulled it open. Aaron sat up and threw the shirt anywhere in the room. Emily ran her hand over his chest and abs there. Some higher being truly chiseled him to perfection.</p><p>Emily made her way down and looked up at Aaron through her eyelashes as she undid his belt. The man sighing as some pressure was finally relieved off of his hard-on. She smiled as she undid his pants and tugged them down his legs. Emily teasingly palmed him through his boxers. Hotch sat up on his elbows and watched Emily stand up and make a show of her taking off her pants. Hotch's eyes were trailing down to the tiny bit of maroon material that barely covered Emily.</p><p>Emily settled herself between his legs and finally pulled down his boxers to free him. The woman wasted no time as she flattened her tongue and licked one broad stripe up the side of him. Aaron tilted his head back as he moaned, his eyes shut as Emily smirked. The woman's lips wrapped just around the tip and sucked.</p><p>"Fuck," Aaron said softly as Emily lowered her mouth slightly onto him. One of his hands buried in her hair and guide her down more. She looked up at him and smiled against his cock. She let him guide her down as she took as much of him as she could handle into the back of her throat. Hotch groaning as Emily started to bob her head, lips tightly around him as she sucked. "Fucking shit."</p><p>The grip on her hair tightened as Hotch got closer and closer. Emily ran a hand up to his abdomen as it tightened. Emily watched him tilt his head back, sharp jawline now on display as his breathing picked up. Aaron tugged slightly at her hair before he came into her mouth. Emily swallowed every last drop before pulling away and wiping the corner of her mouth. Aaron didn't waste any time as he grabbed her and threw her down onto the bed.</p><p>"Fuck, you're soaked," he said against her inner thighs. Hotch peeled off the soaked thong from Emily's body and threw it behind him. Emily brought him up and kissed him deeply. He could taste himself on her tongue. Aaron undid her bra, throwing it anywhere as he settled between her legs. He tugged Emily down by her hips before running his tongue through her pussy. Emily's back arching as she gripped the bedsheets. His tongue circling around her clit but never letting it touch it. Two fingers pushed into her, making Emily's head tilt back and moans spill from her lips. He pumped his finger in and out of her, slowly getting faster.</p><p>"Please," Emily whimpered as her grip on the bedsheets tightened. Aaron smirked before upping his pace and finally sucked on her clit. Emily gasped as he back arched off the bed. "Aaron! Fuck."</p><p>Hotch's mouth only sucked on her clit harder to hear her moan louder. Emily's moans bounced off the walls of the empty apartment. Her hips rolled to get more as she panted for air. Aaron gave her exactly what she wanted. Emily's hands gripped onto his hair as he pumped his fingers in and out of her as fast as he could. Aaron groaned against her clit, making Emily's legs shake and threaten to close. He hummed against her clit, and that's what sent Emily over the edge as white flashes took over her vision. She came with a cry of Aaron's name. The man finally coming up for air as Emily panted to catch her breath. He smiled as he towered over her. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply, tasting herself in the process.</p><p>Aaron didn't even hesitate as he pushed himself into her. Emily's nails were dragging down his back. Hotch leaned down and kissed her neck as Emily shut her eyes and felt herself get stretched by him. Aaron groaning as she clamped around him. Both moaning as he finally stilled, all the way in Emily. One of Aaron's hands wrapped around her neck as he kissed her. The woman's head was spinning as he started to pump his hips. Emily's legs wrapped around him, the new angle making him go deeper into her.</p><p>"Fuck," Emily panted as Hotch's movements caused the bed to move with them. Aaron dipped his head down and wrapped his lips around one of Emily's nipples. The woman buried her hands in his hair as he sucked harshly on it. "Oh, shit, Aaron."</p><p>Her hand snaked down and rubbed her clit as his pace sped up. His hand still firmly wrapped around Emily's throat. Emily shut her eyes and was seeing stars. Her nails were digging into Hotch's back that it drew blood. Hotch grunted as he got closer.</p><p>"I need to pull out," Aaron said and tilted his head back as his abdomen tightened. Emily pulled him down for a kiss and locked him into place with her legs.</p><p>"In me. Cum in me," Emily said as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Aaron didn't have time to argue as he stilled and came inside Emily. The woman's back arched as she came herself. The two panting for air as their lips hovered over the others. Aaron leaned down and kissed Emily deeply as the woman's legs fell limp. Aaron hissing as he pulled himself out.</p><p>"You want to do round two in the kitchen?" Aaron asked, making Emily laugh.</p><p>"You'll have to carry me," Emily said as she sat up. Her head was spinning as she did.</p><p>"Perfectly fine with me."</p><p>Emily: "And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you." Kurt Vonnegut.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>surprise! salem can't write straight smut either!🥳</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter was rushed out because my head hurts and i have a boat load of errands to run, so if there are any mistakes i'm sorry i didn't proofread anything🥳</p><p>also question, do y'all want to see how each team member individually deals with Emily's 'death' and if so what do you want to see? 👀</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: NSFW suggested <br/>word count: 3490</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hotch: "He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." Emily Brontë.</p><p>Aaron opened up his eyes slowly. He looked around the room and didn't recognize the room he was in at first. That was until there was a slight shift of weight on his chest. He glanced down and saw Emily there. Her hair splattered everywhere as she peacefully slept on his chest. He smiled softly down at her.</p><p>"I can feel you thinking," Emily mumbled, making Hotch chuckle. The raven-haired woman sighed as she moved her head to his shoulder. "It's a crime that you get up this early."</p><p>"Good morning to you, too," Aaron said. Emily's eyes popping open as his voice was down a few octaves than normal. She could jump his bones right now if she weren't exhausted from last night. He leaned over and was about to kiss her, but he was met with her hand.</p><p>"We both have morning breath, no kissing," Emily said and leaned in, kissing Aaron's cheek. The man raised his eyebrows. He opted not to ask questions but just listen to Emily. He kissed her forehead before throwing off the sheets covering himself. He reached down and grabbed his black boxers off the floor.</p><p>"I'll be right back," Aaron said as Emily wrapped her arms around his bare chest. Her hand was wandering over his abdomen and the ridges and curves of every ab. She kissed his shoulder before settling back into the bed.</p><p>"What time is it?" Emily asked and stretched. Aaron looked over right as the sheet exposed her bare chest. Emily smirked over at him as he stammered.</p><p>"Six twenty-seven," Aaron said and stood up as he pulled up his boxers. Emily watched him as he did. He turned back around, and that's when Emily soaked in all of Aaron. In daylight, he was even more gorgeous to look at. Well, any lighting made him look good.</p><p>"I guess I'll go start the coffee," Emily said as her eyes trailed down. Aaron wore a smug look as he walked away. Emily bit her lip as he disappeared into the bathroom. Emily groaned as she got up and grabbed the first piece of clothing from the floor. It just so happened to be Hotch's shirt. She slipped it on and buttoned it loosely. She grabbed a new pair of underwear from her drawer before heading to the kitchen.</p><p>Emily mindlessly grabbed the coffee, dumping a few scoops into the coffee pot before it started to brew. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. Her body sore from last night. Emily was surprised she could even move her legs. The real thing that was sore was her hips.</p><p>She felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and pull her in. She rested against Aaron's warm chest as nothing but the sound of the coffee pot was heard brewing.</p><p>"That's my shirt," Aaron mumbled against the top of her head, giving her a small kiss on her hairline.</p><p>"You look better without one," Emily said and smiled to herself. She turned around and was met with Hotch smiling down at her.</p><p>"We do have to go soon," Aaron said and walked up to the counter and grabbed two mugs. Emily's placed herself on the counter and smirked as she took in Hotch's figure. The only things missing were his shoes and shirt. The man turned and handed her one of the mugs. He took a sip of his coffee and leaned up, kissing Emily gently on the lips. She couldn't resist his soft lips. Emily finally came to her sense and pulled away.</p><p>"You ass! I said no kissing because we both have morning breath," Emily said. Hotch smiled guiltily.</p><p>"Technically, it was coffee breath now," he said and took another sip of his coffee. Emily rolled her eyes and pushed him away. Hotch glanced over at the clock and sighed. He wished he could stay here with Emily forever. "I am going to need my shirt back eventually."</p><p>"Fine, here," Emily said and unbuttoned it. She threw it at Hotch. The man catching it as his eyes landed on Emily's bare chest.</p><p>"You're doing that on purpose," Aaron said and threw on his shirt. Emily sat back with a smirk.</p><p>"I have no idea what you're talking about," Emily said and took a sip of her coffee. Aaron shook his head as he tucked his shirt into his pants.</p><p>"You're killing me, Prentiss," Aaron said as he grabbed his shoes and slipped them on quickly. He walked right up to Emily. The woman holding onto his shirt and unbuttoned the top three buttons.</p><p>"Maybe dress more casual more often," Emily said and smiled. Aaron making a mental note of that.</p><p>"I'll see you at the office," Hotch said as he placed a sweet kiss on Emily's cheek before turning and walking out of the apartment. Emily bit her nail as she watched him walk out of the apartment in a hurry. She could get used to this.</p><p>Hotch had rushed home in a record time. He managed to shower, get dressed, finish his morning routine, and make himself a coffee in twenty minutes. The man had more pep to his step as he made his way to work.</p><p>Aaron walked into the building and made his way to the elevator. Luckily, it was a short amount of time before the doors opened. He walked right in, and just as the doors were about to close, a hand stopped the door. Hotch glanced up and saw Rossi there.</p><p>"Good morning," Rossi said with a knowing smile. Aaron clenched his jaw as the door closed. "How was pie?"</p><p>"It was fine," Hotch said and wished he was anywhere else in the world at the moment. Rossi smirked over at him.</p><p>"I was waiting by the phone, but I figured you were too busy to stop by and give your old pal Dave his slice of pecan pie—"</p><p>"Stop, please stop," Aaron said and ran a hand down his face.</p><p>"—so I took the liberty of just asking the team what their favorite slices of pie were. Since you forgot and we went to the diner for some—"</p><p>"Dave," Aaron said and sighed. "I'll make it up to you with some pie. I was just busy last night."</p><p>The two men stood in silence. Hotch could practically hear the smug remark in Rossi's head.</p><p>"You know, you'll need another excuse to see her. You can't go on these spontaneous pie dates forever," Rossi said. Hotch rolled his eyes as he shook his head.</p><p>"It's been handled," Hotch said simply.</p><p>"Officially?" Rossi asked and looked over at Aaron.</p><p>"Yes, Dave, officially," Aaron said and glanced over at the numbers. The sixth floor, thank God.</p><p>"Attaboy," Rossi said and patted Aaron's back as the elevator doors opened. The two stepped out and walked into the bullpen. Derek, Spencer, and Penelope looked over at Hotch with raised eyebrows. He looked lighter, younger, not to mention he was glowing.</p><p>"Well, good morning, sunshine," Derek said to Hotch as he walked up the stairs. "Or is it lover boy now?"</p><p>"Good morning, everyone!" Aaron said with a smile and walked into his office. The three looked between the other before they came up with a plan.</p><p>Emily walked in not too much later. She, too, was practically glowing as she walked in. She glanced over at Derek and Spencer, who had looks of both curiosity and guilt on their faces. Emily stopped in her tracks. She took one step back, and that sent the two men running after her. Unfortunately for her, Penelope was right behind her and held her back from going anywhere. The three of them hustled Emily towards Penelope's lair against her will.</p><p>"I'm never going to catch a break with you guys, am I?" Emily asked as she walked in and slumped into a free chair.</p><p>"Not while you're dating the boss. Now spill," Penelope said and sat down in the chair next to Emily. Derek settled himself on the counter as Spencer sat at the chair on the other side of the office. "Is he good in bed? Is he romantic? Does he do the thing with his tongue where—"</p><p>"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there," Emily said and placed her hand on Penelope's. "Penelope, baby, I love you, but I'm not talking about my sex life with Reid and Morgan here."</p><p>"Fine, you and I will discuss it over some white wine and vegan dishes," Penelope said, making Emily nod. "But at least tell us the juicy details that are safe for work and for team members to hear."</p><p>"He finally asked me," Emily said and placed her other hand on top of Penelope's. The blonde woman's jaw dropped. "So it's official. He and I are dating."</p><p>"Oh my God! Does Jack know? What about Haley?" Penelope asked and looked between Emily and the two men sitting in the room with them. The two men shrugged their shoulders at the other.</p><p>"You guys are the first to know," Emily said and pursed her lips. "We haven't talked about telling Jack and Haley yet."</p><p>"Now for the real kicker, are you going to tell JJ?" Derek asked and tilted his head.</p><p>"Reid and I are the worst secret keepers, so I'm hoping the answer out of your mouth is yes because this will get really awkward," Penelope said as Spencer nodded along with her.</p><p>"It's not like it's going to be a surprise for her. I haven't talked to her really about anything since that whole thing with Will. But she should be happy, right?" Emily asked and looked around at her three friends.</p><p>"I'm sure JJ won't have a problem with it. It's not like she has much of a say in it, anyway," Spencer said and shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>"Well, I'm going to lunch with JJ today, so I'll just tell her then," Emily said. "She said she needed to talk to me, so she and I made lunch plans."</p><p>"That's a good thing, right?" Penelope asked and pursed his lips. Emily shrugged her shoulders. "Because she hasn't told us anything. And I would tell you if she told me anything. I can't keep a secret to save my life."</p><p>"We're all aware of that, mama," Derek said and chuckled.</p><p>"I'm sure it'll be fine," Emily said and patted Penelope's arm before getting up. "I'll be in the bullpen if you need me!"</p><p>It had been a couple of hours since Emily had walked in. She found herself flipping through reports for next week that she might as well just get done now. Aaron glanced over at her from time to time to see what she was doing. Each time, the two would catch the other staring and just smile at the other. A report that would have taken Emily about an hour to finish now took her an hour and thirty minutes. That was one of the downsides of dating your boss. Work could be distracting.</p><p>Emily ran up to his office with the report and handed it to him. Aaron smiled as he stood up.</p><p>"I think I counted twenty-three times I caught you staring," Hotch said and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend. Emily wrapped her arms around his neck and squinted her eyes.</p><p>"I'll have, you know, one, I have eyes on the back of my head, so I felt you staring way more than twenty times. And two, you're very nice to look at. Is that a crime?" Emily asked and leaned in, planting a quick kiss on Aaron's lips. "Plus, we both don't have morning breath anymore, so I wanted a kiss."</p><p>"Thank you. You look beautiful today. I just forgot to tell you this morning," Aaron said and smiled. "I was a little distracted."</p><p>"Oh, I know, your eyes popped out of your head," Emily said and chuckled. "Well, I'll be back. I'm going to have lunch with JJ. But I have no idea where we're even going. I should be gone for about an hour and a half."</p><p>Hotch nodded as he leaned down and kissed her sweetly. Emily and he both smiled against the other's lips. It was no secret that they were happy with the gesture of a kiss.</p><p>"You two have fun," Aaron mumbled against her lips. Emily nodded as they kissed.</p><p>The two broke away from each other, saying their goodbyes. Soon after, Emily was out the door. Aaron couldn't help but watch her. He had a gorgeous girlfriend. He couldn't help but stare.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Come in!" JJ shouted from the other side. Emily took a deep breath and opened the door. She smiled softly at JJ. "Hey, Em. I was just going to get you."</p><p>"I finished a report early. I figured I'd just make my way to you," Emily said and shrugged her shoulders. JJ signed the bottom right of the paper and closed the file. "So, where are we headed to?"</p><p>"Now that's a surprise," JJ said and smiled. She stood up and grabbed her bag before making her way out of the office with Emily.</p><p>The two found themselves at a sushi restaurant named sushi rock. JJ knew sushi was one of Emily's weaknesses. Emily had ordered herself a spicy tuna with avocado roll, and something called a 'light me on fire' roll. The raven-haired woman always had a spot for spicy food. On the other hand, JJ ordered herself a roasted veggie roll and a cucumber with avocado roll. She couldn't have raw fish for obvious reasons.</p><p>The two women chatted mindlessly about work until their food came. Emily couldn't help but have a sense of deja vu. The last time she and JJ were in a sushi bar, they were talking about Hotch. This time is not so different from the previous.</p><p>"So what's going on?" Emily asked and popped a piece of sushi into her mouth. JJ's hand subconsciously went up to her ear and started to play with her earlobe. "That bad?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" JJ asked and furrowed her eyebrows. Emily chuckled and took a sip of her water.</p><p>"You can't seriously think you can lie to a profiler, can you?" Emily asked and tilted her head. JJ noticed her hand and immediately put it down. Well, know she knows her tell. "Is everything okay with Will?"</p><p>"Yeah, he's uh coming up to D.C. this weekend," JJ said and shoved a piece of sushi into her mouth. Emily nodded as the two continued to eat.</p><p>"But that's not what's troubling you," Emily said and ducked her head down to catch JJ's eye. "You can't just act like nothing is wrong when something is bothering you, JJ."</p><p>"It's just something I didn't expect, and I'm sure I want it, but not like this," JJ said and pursed her lips. Emily reached over and grabbed the woman's hand.</p><p>"Spit it out, JJ. I'm your friend. You can trust me with whatever is eating at you," Emily said softly. JJ sighed and rubbed her thumb over Emily's hand.</p><p>"I wanted you to hear it from me first," JJ said and looked Emily in the eyes. "I'm pregnant."</p><p>Emily's jaw dropped as JJ had tears in her eyes. The raven-haired woman stood up from her seat and engulfed JJ in a hug.</p><p>"Oh, JJ! Congratulations!" Emily said as she hugged the woman. She was gentle about her hug. She didn't want to hurt JJ or her baby. The two broke away, and Emily sat back down. "Does anybody else know?"</p><p>"Only you. I wanted to tell you first," JJ said and smiled softly at Emily. The raven-haired woman furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"I thought you wanted kids, JJ?" Emily asked. "You always wanted a big family."</p><p>"I know, it's just not how I imagined it. None of this is how I imagined it would go," JJ said and sighed.</p><p>"So what else is there?" Emily asked softly. JJ reached over and placed her hand on top of Emily's.</p><p>"The one thing that isn't in place is you. Emily, I miss you. I miss girls' night with Penelope. I miss lunch dates and being able to talk to you. I miss how things were before I messed them up. I will spend the rest of my life telling you how sorry I am. You didn't deserve that. You deserve a whole lot more than me. But I miss my best friend. Life has been miserable without you, and I can only blame myself for that," JJ said and pursed her lips. "You don't have to accept this apology, but I just can't keep secrets from you. I'm tired of holding back how I really feel. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Does he make you happy?" Emily asked and interlocked her fingers with JJ's. The blonde woman nodded.</p><p>"Does he make you happy?" JJ asked back. Emily nodded her head. The two women sat in silence for a couple of seconds before Emily sighed.</p><p>"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Even if that meant it didn't involve me in the picture with you. You're my best friend. The only thing I want is for your happiness to be fulfilled. And if it's Will, then so be it. I'm always going to be here for you, JJ. No matter what," Emily said and broke her hand away from JJ. "And I'm sorry for being a bitch to you. And I apologize for Clara; she told me about the elevator incident."</p><p>"No—I deserved that. She was right. There's no sense in apologizing for the truth," JJ said, making Emily chuckle. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry for being a bitch to you too."</p><p>"Apology accepted," Emily said and smiled. "I knew something was wrong. You always order a spicy shrimp roll. I thought Penelope turned you vegan for a second."</p><p>"No, after nine months, you and I are coming back here because whatever they are making over there smells delicious," JJ said and gestured towards the kitchen. Emily laughed and nodded her head.</p><p>"And I'll make sure to buy you two bottles of wine. It's going to be a long nine months, and sober JJ can get scary after a while," Emily joked, making JJ gasp playfully. The two laughed as they continued with their lunch.</p><p>It felt refreshing. It felt like coming home here with the other. Both women slipped into conversations as if no time had passed between them. They both needed this. The BAU can be back to serenity now that the two best friends patched things up.</p><p>The two walked back into the BAU, arms linked in the other as they talked about anything and everything.</p><p>"Thank you for lunch," Emily said as she and JJ pulled away from each other. JJ turned and smiled. "It's good to be back."</p><p>"It's good to have you back," JJ said and wrapped her arms around Emily. The two women hugged briefly before pulling away. Hotch watched the interaction between the two with a smile.</p><p>"Hey," Hotch said as he approached the two women. He handed JJ a file before placing his hand on Emily's lower back and kissing her on the forehead. "This came to my office accidentally."</p><p>"Oh, thank you. I've been looking for this. Strauss said she had sent it. I just assumed it got lost in my other files," JJ said and smiled at the two of them. Hotch excused himself as he walked off. Emily's eyes followed him as he did. JJ opened the door to her office and placed a hand on her shoulder. "He's a really good guy and extremely lucky to have you."</p><p>"It's comforting knowing my boyfriend is the big bad scary man," Emily said jokingly, making JJ chuckle. "I'll catch up with you later when you tell the rest of the team, alright?"</p><p>"Of course," JJ said and smiled before slipping into her office. Emily waved bye to her as she walked off. Finally, things were settling again.</p><p>Rossi: "To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous." Elizabeth Gilbert.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hope y'all enjoyed! i'll be updating on the weekend, see you guys then😚</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ooooo hi everyone! i'm sorry there was no update yesterday. i've had my head in the books since it's midterms for me. i hope y'all understand. hopefully next weekend i'll come and give you guys three updates. but! i make to promises🙃</p><p>that's the life of a college stem student 🥳</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing, mentions of drinking, mentions of losing a child, miscarriage talk<br/>word count: 3762</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ: "Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday." Ted Kooser.</p><p>"Hello?" Aaron said as he signed his signature at the corner of the report.</p><p>"Hey," Haley said and smiled as Jack looked up at her. "I'm sorry for calling the office. Your phone went straight to voicemail."</p><p>"Oh, sorry, I've just been busy at work," Aaron said and glanced around at all the files he needed to complete. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"</p><p>"Well, I was wondering if you were going to take Jack today? I didn't know since it's—"</p><p>"Oh my God, it's Valentine's Day," Hotch said and smacked his hands against his forehead. He glanced over at the bullpen. Hotch had gotten there early so he could get a head start on his files. "I thought it was next week!"</p><p>"Yeah," Haley said and chuckled. "I can keep him for tonight if you want. I don't know what you and Emily are doing."</p><p>Hotch sighed as he shut his eyes. "No, you can go ahead and bring him. I'll get something together for us."</p><p>"Aaron, you don't have to. I'm offering to keep him," Haley said and ran a hand through the boy's hair.</p><p>"It's been a week since I've seen him. Plus, I know both of them would love to see the other. But thank you for your consideration," Aaron said and ran a hand down his face. "Bye, Haley."</p><p>Aaron sat back at his desk and took a deep breath before springing up and practically running out of the office. He ran into Anderson on the way out. "Anderson. If Emily comes looking for me, lie and say you didn't see me."</p><p>"Sir, I—"</p><p>"Thanks, Anderson!" Aaron yelled and got into the elevator before it closed. The man glancing around and gulped.</p><p>It was a little while later, and Emily walked into the BAU. It has been radio silent from her boyfriend. She furrowed her eyebrows as she walked into the bullpen. His light was on. Emily walked up to his office and looked around. His coffee mug was still there, steam coming out of his mug, files open, and his bag was there.</p><p>Anderson walked into the bullpen and saw Emily. His eyes popped open. He turned to walk out when Emily stopped him.</p><p>"Anderson? Have you seen Hotch?" Emily asked and gestured towards his office. Anderson turned and smiled nervously at Emily.</p><p>"No—uh, no, I haven't," Anderson said and shrugged his shoulders. Emily tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. The man chuckling nervously. Just then, Derek, Penelope, Spencer, Rossi, and JJ walked in. "Wow! Would you look at that! I gotta go!"</p><p>"Anderson!" Emily called out and groaned as he walked out. The team all chuckled at Emily.</p><p>"What's going on, Em?" JJ asked as Emily walked down the stairs. "I thought you'd be happy since it's Valentine's Day."</p><p>"I would be too if my boyfriend wasn't M.I.A. Anderson knows something but just won't tell me," Emily said and crossed her arms. "Happy Valentine's Day, guys."</p><p>"Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I brought cookies!" Penelope said and set her bag down on Derek's desk. "I made everyone's favorites!"</p><p>"Home-made cookies?" Emily asked as her eyes lit up. Penelope nodded enthusiastically.</p><p>"Oh, I love you, baby girl," Derek said and leaned over, planting a kiss on her cheek.</p><p>"Okay! Oatmeal raisin cookies for Rossi. Double chocolate chip cookies for the boy genius, Spencer Reid. Snickerdoodles for JJ. Peanut butter kiss cookies for my only true love, Derek Morgan. Chocolate chip cookies for Emily. And M&amp;M cookies for myself," Penelope said and handed out little boxes of the homemade cookies. "And sugar cookies with icing for Hotch when he gets here."</p><p>"Thank you!" Spencer said and engulfed Penelope in a hug. The team going around and hugged one another. They individually thanked Penelope for the gesture.</p><p>"I'm here! I'm late, but I'm here!" Aaron yelled as he ran into the bullpen. Everyone turned and saw the man sweating as he held four bags of food and a bouquet of red roses. Emily's eyes softened as Hotch walked up to her.</p><p>"Well, good morning," Emily said and smiled. Hotch set down the bags and wrapped an arm around her waist. He brought her in for a kiss. The woman wrapped her arms around his neck.</p><p>"Hey, get a room, you two!" Derek yelled and shielded Reid's eyes. The rest of the team all groaned and covered their own eyes.</p><p>"I brought everyone some breakfast. I hope everyone likes chocolate chip pancakes and hash browns," Aaron said as Emily nuzzled into him. The man looked down at her with a smile. He handed Emily the bouquet. "And for you, my Emily."</p><p>"You told Anderson not to tell me, didn't you?" Emily asked with a smile as she took the bouquet. Aaron nodded his head as they smiled at each other. At least Anderson didn't say anything.</p><p>"Let's all enjoy a little bit of love today with breakfast in the conference room," Aaron said and grabbed one of the bags of food. Derek grabbed the others.</p><p>"Can you keep him this happy forever?" Rossi asked, making Emily chuckle.</p><p>"And maybe ask for a raise," Spencer whispered just loud enough for the man to hear.</p><p>"I heard that, Reid," Aaron said and glared over at the man. Spencer held his hands up in surrender.</p><p>"What do you guys say to a family dinner?" Penelope asked as the team walked into the conference room for Valentine's Day breakfast.</p><p>Three of the seven people at the table were quiet. Emily and Aaron both glanced at each other. He wrapped his arm around Emily's chair.</p><p>"We'd love to, Garcia, but we have to take care of Jack tonight," Aaron said and pursed his lips. Emily patted his knee as the rest of the table rolled their eyes.</p><p>"Will is coming up from New Orleans. He's not going to let me leave," JJ said, only half-joking.</p><p>"Fine. The four of us can go down to Patty's and wallow in being single," Penelope said and reached her hand across and placed her hands on Reid's and Morgan's hands. Rossi placed his hand on top of Morgan's.</p><p>"Let's eat before everything starts getting cold," Rossi said and pulled out the boxes from the bags. They all collectively thanked Hotch before diving into their meals.</p><p>"Happy Valentine's Day," Emily whispered to Aaron and gave the man a gentle kiss on the cheek when nobody was looking. He blushed slightly and ran his hand down Emily's back.</p><p>"Happy first Valentine's Day," Aaron said back softly.</p><p>The group of agents all enjoyed each other's company before it came to an end. Sadly, everyone had to go back to work. But at least their stomach were full, which was rare for any of them.</p><p>"Okay, what's up with you? You've been acting really weird. Like weirder than normal," Penelope said as she and JJ walked arm in arm to her lair.</p><p>JJ pursed her lips and opened the door for both of them. "Well, I have some news, but you'll have to sit down."</p><p>"Is it bad? Oh God, it's bad. JJ! You know how I am with change this won't be good. I just found out that you were pregnant! You can't balance this good in the world with whatever bad news you're going to give me!" Penelope rambled and sat down in her chair. JJ sat down in front of her and grabbed the woman's hands.</p><p>"Pen. Penelope," JJ said as the woman had a worried look on her face. She smiled widely. "I want you to my baby's godmother."</p><p>"Really?" Penelope asked as her jaw dropped. JJ nodded and swayed both of their hands. "Oh, you shouldn't have given me responsibility. I will move heavens and hells to make this baby as spoiled as spoiled can be."</p><p>"I'll make sure to brace for that," JJ said and chuckled as she pulled her hands away.</p><p>"I'll start shopping now," Penelope said and turned towards her computer. By the time JJ stood up, Penelope was already on a website ordering several adorable jewelry and toys for the unborn baby. JJ patted her back before heading out of Penelope's office. The blonde woman made her way to the bullpen and glanced in. She saw Emily and Aaron standing up in the conference room. The two locked in a hug before they pulled away. JJ smiled to herself before making her way to her office.</p><p>"Are you sure it's okay that we take care of Jack? I can make it up to you next weekend. You don't have to come over," Aaron said as he and Emily walked out of the conference room.</p><p>"I told you, I'm perfectly okay with taking care of Jack. We'll make the most fun out of it. But next weekend, I'm stealing you away," Emily said and linked her arms with Aaron. "Oh, and I forgot. I got you a small something for right now. Let me go get it."</p><p>Emily broke away from him and ran down to her bag on her desk. Aaron watched her as she pulled out a heart-shaped box. Emily walked back up the stairs and handed the box to Hotch.</p><p>"I know you have a sweet tooth and a soft spot for liquor. So I got you these bourbon-fused chocolates," Emily said with a smile.</p><p>"I will be eating these discreetly," Aaron said and leaned forward, kissing the woman quickly. "Thank you."</p><p>"You're welcome. And thank you for the flowers and breakfast," Emily said and ran her hands over his suit to smooth it out. "You'll need some cologne. You smell like grease and chocolate."</p><p>"Your favorites," Aaron said jokingly. The two kissed the other briefly before breaking off to their own desks.</p><p>"Hotch, do you think we could get some breakfast and maybe take the morning off?" Derek asked, pretending to intimidate Emily. Spencer chuckled as Emily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"I love you," Spencer sang out and leaned over as he and Morgan faked to kiss. Emily crumped crumpled up a paper and threw it at the two men.</p><p>The workday came and went. Aaron was the first to leave to prepare everything for dinner with Jack and Emily tonight. Emily was the second one to leave. She rushed home to shower and change clothes before she would head over to Aaron's. The rest of the team all sat around at Patty's, drinking and eating greasy food. JJ joined them for a while before Will finally landed and came to pick her up.</p><p>Needless to say, Valentine's Day in the morning hours was a success.</p><p>Hotch had finished placing the last toppings on the pizza before he threw them in the oven. It wasn't the fanciest dinner, but he knew it would make both of them happy.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Aaron set down his mitten and checked himself in the mirror. He fixed his hair quickly before going towards the door and opened it. Emily stood there with a bottle of red wine.</p><p>"Hey," Aaron said and smiled.</p><p>"Hi," Emily said and leaned forward. She kissed him softly before Aaron led her inside. "I didn't know you were actually cooking dinner."</p><p>"Yeah, I figured since I couldn't take you out to a fancy dinner, I'd just make something for us here. Homemade pizza since Jack doesn't like anything else," Aaron said and grabbed the bottle of wine from Emily as she set down her purse. He got two glasses from the cabinet and poured the two of them some of the liquor.</p><p>"Good because I can't cook to save my life," Emily said and grabbed the wine glass from him and set it to the side. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. "But baking, baking is my specialty."</p><p>"We'll test those skills soon," Aaron said and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Can we make cake? Chocolate cake?"</p><p>"Of course," Emily said and chuckled. The two leaned in and kissed sweetly. Both smiled into the kiss as they tried to pull the other closer. Just then, a timer went off, making the two groan. Emily grabbed her wine as she sat back and watched as he pulled out the pizzas from the oven. She could definitely get used to this sight. Aaron noticed her staring and glanced over at her.</p><p>"Did me taking out pizzas from the oven spiral you into some sort of secret fantasy?" Aaron asked jokingly. Emily rolled her eyes and made her way to the stool at the isle.</p><p>"I guess you'll never know," Emily shot back, making Aaron laugh. He peeked over to the clock. </p><p>"Jack should be here in about half an hour. So, I might as well just give it to you now. I got you something," Aaron said and wiped his hands clean in a towel.</p><p>"Great minds think alike. I also got you something," Emily said and grabbed her purse.</p><p>"Wait right here," he said and smiled. Aaron walked off towards his bedroom. He stopped in front of a linen closet on the way and opened the door. He shuffled around some of the towels before he grabbed the huge box. Emily's curiosity peaked as he set it down in the living room. Emily got up and followed him. She placed the medium size box on the table and slid it over to Aaron. The two sat down next to each other and grabbed their respective gifts.</p><p>"Open yours first," Emily said and interlaced her fingers together. She had a massive smile on her face. Hotch immediately grew more curious. It was evident Emily was proud of the gift.</p><p>Aaron opened his and smiled widely. It was a camera, a polaroid camera with lots of film. "No, way! It looks just like the one I had in college!"</p><p>"I enlisted a little help to make sure it was the right one. And, I figured you could start working on your photography career now," Emily said and smiled as Hotch leaned over, kissing her.</p><p>"Thank you. Now open yours," Aaron said and sat back as Emily opened it. Her eyes lit up as she saw the picture on the box.</p><p>"Oh my God! Aaron, no, you didn't!" Emily said and wrapped her arms around him. He had gotten her a telescope. He smiled as the woman settled on top of him. "Oh, I love it! Thank you."</p><p>"When the two of us have a little time to ourselves, why don't you and I test run it. You can tell me all about the constellations," Aaron said as Emily pushed back a piece of his hair that was sticking up.</p><p>"As long as there's wine and some dessert, you can count me in," Emily said and smiled. Aaron reached over and grabbed the box. He quickly put the film into the camera as Emily watched him. He picked the camera up to his eyes and focused it on Emily.</p><p>"Smile!" Aaron said. Emily did just that before he snapped the picture of the woman in his lap. The photo was printed, and immediately, it started to show. Aaron grabbed it, shaking it lightly. Soon enough, the picture of Emily formed.</p><p>Aaron fell in love all over again.</p><p>"Now see, that right there is probably my best work," Aaron said and showed Emily the picture of herself. "The picture is pretty good too."</p><p>"Always a flirt, Aaron Hotchner," Emily said and squinted her eyes at the man. She got off of him and settled right next to him.</p><p>"How do you think I got you?" Aaron asked. Emily shook her head with a smile. Aaron got an idea and got up from the couch. He grabbed his wallet and made a show of placing the woman's picture in there. "Now, I have a reminder."</p><p>"Reminder of what?" Emily asked and furrowed her eyebrows. Hotch closed his wallet and smiled.</p><p>"That if I can deal with this woman, I can go through anything," Aaron said jokingly as he sat down. Emily playfully hitting his stomach. Hotch laughed as Emily turned, crossing her arms but still settling into his touch.</p><p>"You're an ass," Emily said and rolled her eyes.</p><p>"I know," Aaron said and kissed the top of the woman's head.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Well, they're here early," Aaron said and stood up. He grabbed Emily's hand and helped her stand up. The woman thanked him before heading to the kitchen for her wine. Aaron opened the door and was greeted by Haley and Jack.</p><p>"Daddy!" Jack yelled as Hotch leaned down and embraced the boy. Haley smiled at the two and briefly hugged Aaron. "I missed you."</p><p>"I've missed you too," Aaron said. "Hey Jack, there's actually someone I want you to see. She's in the kitchen."</p><p>Jack walked around his father and towards the kitchen when he saw Emily there.</p><p>"Emmy!" Jack yelled and ran up to the woman. Emily smiled widely as she lifted Jack in the air.</p><p>"Jacky, baby!" Emily yelled back and kissed the boy right on the cheek. Aaron and Haley both watched with a smile.</p><p>"I missed you!" Jack said and wrapped his arms tightly around Emily's neck. The woman was hugging him back.</p><p>"Oh, I missed you more!" Emily said and smiled. She walked over to Haley and leaned over, the two hugging as best as they could.</p><p>"Daddy! Daddy! Can Emmy stay the night?" Jack asked and gave his dad the best puppy eyes any toddler could give their parent.</p><p>"You'd have to ask Emmy," Aaron said. The boy turned his head towards Emily.</p><p>"Can you stay? Pretty please?" Jack asked and reached out and started to play with the necklace Emily was wearing.</p><p>"As long as you and I have some hot chocolate tomorrow morning," Emily said and smiled. Jack nodded his head as Haley and Hotch both shook their heads.</p><p>"You three have fun. Call me if you need anything," Haley said and walked up to Jack.</p><p>"Say bye to mom, Jack," Aaron said. Jack turned and had his arms wrap around his mom.</p><p>"Bye, mommy," Jack said softly as Haley planted a kiss on the top of his head. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you more," Haley said and pulled back from her son. "You be good for daddy and Emmy."</p><p>Jack nodded as the three of them said their final goodbyes to Haley. The two lovers brought Jack into the kitchen. The three didn't hesitate to dive into the delicious pizza Aaron had made. He'd be lying if he said he was confident about it. He just wanted to do something special for them. So that resulted in rushing home and watching countless cooking videos on how to make the perfect homemade pizza. And for a last-minute result, he patted himself on the back; it was delicious.</p><p>It wasn't long until Jack had a sudden burst of energy. He and Emily spent the next hour running around chasing each other while Aaron watched and hid Jack from Emily while he did the dishes. The man chuckling as Emily and him chased each other around the living room.</p><p>Emily had managed to tire out the young boy eventually. And soon enough, Hotch found himself in a very new position on the couch. His son was fast asleep on his right side, and Emily was getting tired as she laid her head on his shoulder. She settled into his left side. Aaron smiled and held the two close to him by their waists.</p><p>"Have you ever thought about that?" Aaron asked and rubbed his hand over Emily's back. "Having kids?"</p><p>"Well, I actually have a—" Emily stopped herself and smiled. "—a mothering instinct. Or at least I'm told I do. I'd want kids. I just hope to get the chance to have kids."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Aaron asked and glanced down at her. Emily sighed and shook her head.</p><p>"I really didn't want to have this conversation on Valentine's Day," Emily said and chuckled. She looked up at Hotch, who looked genuinely concerned. "The last serious relationship I had with a man, I got pregnant. I didn't know what to do, but I was going to keep the baby. But I miscarried during my third month, and when I went to the doctor's, they basically told me I was infertile. My chances of having children were slim. They still are. And ever since then, I haven't had a pregnancy scare."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Aaron said softly. Emily placed her hand under his chin and stroked his cheek.</p><p>"A friend of mine told me a saying. It basically went: motherhood is an attitude, not necessarily a biological relationship," Emily said and nuzzled her head into Hotch's shoulder again. The woman glanced down at the boy sleeping on his father's side and smiled. "I like to think she's right."</p><p>"She's very right," Aaron said and planted a kiss right on Emily's head. "I think we should take him to bed."</p><p>"Here, I got it," Emily said and got up. She carefully picked up Jack and cradled the boy in her arms. Aaron got up quickly and made his way towards the boy's bedroom. Emily thanked him softly as he opened the door for her. She carefully settled Jack into his bed and smiled as he tried to grab hold of Emily again. The raven-haired woman placed the stuffed animal by the bed into his arms before she pulled over the covers. She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on the boy's head. "Good night, Jack."</p><p>Aaron stood at the doorway and watched her as she stood up. Emily was blushing as she saw Hotch there. They stepped out and carefully shut the door before Aaron placed both of his hands on Emily's cheeks and kissed the woman. Emily melted into the kiss before he pulled away.</p><p>"Let's get some sleep."</p><p>Spencer: "The only love I really believe in is a mother's love for her children." Karl Lagerfield.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>y'all ready for angst in the next chapter 🤩</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i managed to squeeze out another update for you all. i'm thinking about dropping it down to one update a week now since i've had a boat load of homework to do so we'll see😅</p><p>i'm sorry if i drop the amount of updates, i really love writing but in transferring to a university soon so my grades have to be the best they can be 🙃</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: drinking, minimal swearing, mentions of smoking<br/>word count: 3545</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Penelope: "Jealously is love in competition." Toba Beta</p><p>"You all look like you could use a drink," Rossi said as he stepped out of his office. Emily was sitting at her desk with her head thrown back against her chair. Derek kept his head down against his desk as his pencil waved to Rossi in agreement. And Reid, well, he was sitting crisscross in his chair as he read a Quantum Physics textbook.</p><p>"I'm drinking if you're buying," Emily said and picked her head up to stare at the older man. "And food. We haven't eaten all day."</p><p>"That's not true. I had a granola bar," Spencer said and furrowed his eyebrows at Emily. The woman shutting her eyes before she said anything else.</p><p>"How about we all go to a family bonding at my house tonight," Rossi said and walked down the stairs.</p><p>"Will there be drinks?" Derek asked and sat up in his chair.</p><p>"And will there be food? Actually food besides Welch's fruit snacks and granola bars," Emily said and nodded towards Derek.</p><p>"How about some pasta," Rossi said and settled himself on the side of Derek's desk. "Just go make sure that lover of yours is okay. Being stuck at a desk all day can be exhausting."</p><p>"I'll go do that," Emily said with a smile as she got up. The woman was practically bouncing up the stairs and towards his office. He knocked twice before entering. Aaron looked up and smiled as he saw Emily walk in. "Hey, you."</p><p>"Hey beautiful," Hotch said and as Emily sat against the edge of his desk. "What's going on?"</p><p>"Well, Rossi invited all of us to his house for drinks and food, and he wanted to know if you'd go. He sent me in here so that way you won't say no," Emily said and leaned forward, batting her eyelashes. Aaron squinted his eyes and leaned back into his chair. "Please? You've been in meetings all day. Plus, you owe me since Strauss came in and canceled our lunch plans for a stupid meeting."</p><p>"She needed to talk about budgets," Aaron said and placed his hand on Emily's knee. "And I'm sorry. I would have more than happily ordered you some food."</p><p>"Well, now you have the chance to make it up to me and being designated driver," Emily said and smiled innocently.</p><p>"Am I going to have to take care of you while you're drunk," Aaron asked and raised an eyebrow. Emily nodded as she leaned forward and kissed the man softly. "Okay fine, you're very convincing."</p><p>"I know," Emily said and nodded into the kiss. She pulled him in by the tie and kissed him again. The two broke away, leaving them both with smiles. "I'll come get you when we're about to leave."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Aaron said sarcastically as he watched Emily walk out of his office. Emily smirked as she walked down the stairs.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Come in!"</p><p>Spencer walked into JJ's office and smiled softly at her. "Hey, you busy?"</p><p>"No, I've been needing an escape. What's up?" JJ said and interlaced her fingers in front of her.</p><p>"Rossi invited all of us to his house for dinner and drinks. You want to come?" Spencer said and sat down across from JJ. "I know you haven't eaten all day."</p><p>"I'd love to, but Will is here. He wanted to take me out for a 'romantic date,'" JJ said and sighed. "I really want to go, but I already promised him my undivided attention."</p><p>"Well, why don't you bring him. I'm sure all of us would like to see him again," Spencer said and shrugged his shoulders. JJ tilted her head with an eyebrow raised. "You can't hide him forever, JJ."</p><p>"I'll ask him. I make no promises. Will can be stubborn," JJ said and sat back in her chair. Spencer smiled and nodded before getting up and leaving JJ's office. The woman sighed.</p><p>The team all broke off to their own individual work. They all tried to finish everything they had left before leaving and going to Rossi's.</p><p>Emily and Rossi had left together to get everything prepared for the others. The two enjoying two glasses of wine as Emily watched Rossi cook.</p><p>"Do you always just sit and not cook?" Rossi asked and tossed the pasta in the pan.</p><p>"Do you want your house burnt down? " Emily asked as she took a sip of her wine. Rossi shook his head. "Besides, I'd rather not poison Aaron. I just got him."</p><p>"Well, you know you can come to me for cooking lessons," Rossi said and sprinkled parsley on his pasta. "I can help you make a dish that will make his heart swell."</p><p>"His heart is in his stomach," Emily said and chuckled. "I'll think about it, dad."</p><p>"That's what dads are for," Rossi said and placed a dish of pasta in front of Emily. She was about to dive in, but Rossi threw his rag at her. "Mind your manners. We have to wait for everyone else."</p><p>"Remind me why I came with you if you're going to make me wait for food," Emily grumbled and threw her head back.</p><p>"I believe your words were: 'So I can get drunk before Aaron gets there so he can't stop me,'" Rossi said, making Emily roll her eyes.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Emily got up and made her way over to the door. She opened it and was greeted by Penelope, Derek, and Spencer.</p><p>"Oh, finally! Rossi! There are more people can we eat now!" Emily asked and patted Derek's shoulder before sitting down next to him.</p><p>"No," Rossi said, making the four groan. "But here is some scotch for your troubles."</p><p>The man went ahead and poured three out of the four-team members the strong liquor. Spencer was the designated driver for Penelope and Derek, so he just opted for water. Emily, on the other hand, finished the alcohol like it was water. Everyone looked over at her with concerned eyes.</p><p>"What?" Emily asked and looked over at her team members. She was already starting to see fuzzy. Drinking on an empty stomach does make a person drunk faster. "Hotch is driving tonight, and I want to drink. What's wrong with that."</p><p>"No, no, no, something else is bothering you," Derek said and shook his head. "Come on, out with it."</p><p>"Just because I want to drink, that means something is bothering me? You've been a profiler for how long again?" Emily asked sarcastically.</p><p>"See, that right there means a yes," Derek said and pointed to Emily. The woman rolled her eyes as Rossi poured her another drink.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"I'll get it," Spencer said and stood up. He walked to the door and opened it. He was met with JJ and Will. "Hey, guys! Come on in!"</p><p>Emily glanced over at the door and saw them standing there. The woman didn't hesitate to finish the scotch Rossi just poured. She wanted to be plastered for whatever was going to happen. Rossi gave her a knowing look as she set down the glass. Everyone shook hands with Will as he made his round to say hello to everyone.</p><p>"Emily. It's good to see you again," Will said and stuck out his hand. Emily pursed her lips before shaking his hand.</p><p>"How's Clara?" Emily asked as she let go of his hand. "I've been busy, so I haven't had the chance to call her."</p><p>"She's good. She's been saying she wants to come back up here to Washington to see you. I'm sure she misses you," Will said and chuckled. Emily's vision was playing tricks on her already. There were three Will's in front of her.</p><p>"You okay?" JJ asked and placed her hand on Emily's knee. "How much has she had to drink?"</p><p>"Two glasses of wine, two glasses of scotch," Rossi said and shook his head.</p><p>"I think we need to get food in your system, Em," JJ said and placed her other hand on Emily's back. Will noticed the gesture and furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't think anything of it. He didn't know how the two were whenever he was gone.</p><p>"No, JJ, I'm fine. I'll just wait for Aaron," Emily said and patted her hand on top of JJ's. The blonde woman's eyes were reading concern. "I'm fine."</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"I'll get it!" Emily said and stumbled her way to the door. Truth be told, she wanted out of that situation. JJ was a naturally caring person, but it didn't help Emily's anxiety with her boyfriend standing right there. Emily opened it and saw Aaron standing there. The woman stumbling on her own feet. The man caught her and chuckled. She wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Mmm, hi."</p><p>"Hi," Aaron said back and shut the door behind him as Emily still clung to him. "How much have you had to drink?"</p><p>"Only two glasses," Emily said and smiled. Aaron raised an eyebrow as he looked over at Rossi. He held up a four with his hands. "And some scotch."</p><p>"Let's get you to the couch before you lose a limb," Aaron said and led the woman to the couch.</p><p>"Okay, now we can eat!" Rossi said and served each person a dish of already cooked pasta. Emily was settled on the couch by Aaron before he grabbed two plates, one for each of them. Emily thanked him gratuitously as he handed her a plate. JJ and Will both decided to settle on the couch across from them.</p><p>"How you been, Will?" Aaron asked and reached over the table to shake his hand. Will shook his hand before sitting down across from the two.</p><p>"I've been good. Trains aren't the most comfortable means of transportation. But I mean, anything for JJ," Will said and smiled as the blonde woman sat down next to him. He placed his hand on his knee and smiled at the woman. "I've been asking JJ to marry me."</p><p>"Will," JJ said and tilted her head. Emily clenched her jaw as Aaron placed his arm around her.</p><p>"We're still working on the mechanics of it all," Will said and smiled. The two women didn't say anything as they ate their pasta and tried to ignore both couples' awkward energy. The rest of the team all sat around and ate their meals while chatting with the other. Emily had finished her bowl in a matter of minutes. Rossi didn't hesitate to serve her more to keep her quiet from any remarks she had towards Will.</p><p>"So have you guys been picking baby names already?" Penelope asked and twirled her pasta onto her fork.</p><p>"We haven't really been looking," JJ said and shrugged her shoulders.</p><p>"JJ hasn't been looking. But I have. I have a solid feeling it's going to be a boy," Will said and placed his hand on her stomach. JJ's baby bump hadn't really grown fully yet. "I'm thinking Henry or Joseph. Maybe every William."</p><p>"And if it's a girl, I'm thinking either Isabella or Amelia. Something like that. I'd just love a girl," JJ said and shrugged her shoulders.</p><p>"Well, no matter the sex, we will love this baby unconditionally," Penelope said and placed her hand on JJ's knee.</p><p>"As long as the baby doesn't inherit the accent," Emily said, making the rest of the team chuckled. Will tilted his head. The two just stared at each other.</p><p>"What's that suppose to mean?" Will asked and clenched his jaw. Oh, this wasn't good.</p><p>"It's a joke," Emily said and pursed her lips. The man took a deep breath. Hotch immediately tensed up as he felt the energy shift between the two.</p><p>"Right," Will said and stood up. JJ shut her eyes as he left out the doors to the backyard. The blonde woman sighed heavily before she ran after him. Emily sat back into Aaron's embrace and took a sip of her scotch. They all shook their heads as Emily put her hands up in surrender.</p><p>"Will!" JJ called out as she walked into the backyard. The man stood in the distance and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. JJ rolled her eyes as she stood in front of him.</p><p>"What does have bitch have against me?" Will mumbled as he placed the cigarette between his teeth.</p><p>"Hey, she's drunk, okay? It was a joke," JJ said and crossed her arms. Will scoffed as he grabbed his lighter, and that's when it hit him. He took the cigarette out of his mouth.</p><p>"You can't be serious," Will said and clenched his jaw. "Her? She's the one you were sleeping with before?"</p><p>JJ furrowed her eyebrows. "Can we please talk—"</p><p>"Don't treat me like an idiot, Jennifer. Just tell me the truth. Was it her?" Will asked and crossed his arms. JJ clenched her jaw.</p><p>"Yes. It was only one time but—"</p><p>"There it is," Will said and lit his cigarette before inhaling it. JJ sighed. "No wonder she hates me."</p><p>"She doesn't hate you. She's drunk, Will!" JJ said, and as the man exhaled the smoke from his lungs.</p><p>"There you go defending her again. I'm your boyfriend, JJ. You should be defending me," Will said and glanced back at the party inside.</p><p>"You're overreacting. She didn't mean it in a harmful way," JJ said and sighed. Will crossed his arms. "Let's just go back inside and get this whole thing behind us."</p><p>"Do you still like her?" Will asked and placed the cigarette between his teeth as he inhaled the nicotine again.</p><p>"What? No," JJ said and crossed her arms. "I'm out here chasing after you, aren't I?"</p><p>"You swear to me?" Will asked as he exhaled the nicotine. The wind sweeping it directly towards JJ. "Because she doesn't look over you."</p><p>"She has a boyfriend, Will," JJ said and shut her eyes in frustration. "Let's just go back inside."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Will said as he wrapped one arm around JJ. The woman being turned off by the stench of cigarettes and scotch on him. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too," JJ said and kissed his cheek. The man smiled slightly as he leads them both back inside the house. He threw his cigarette in one of Rossi's ashtrays.</p><p>They both walked in, and the team continued on with their side conversations. Emily, who was drunk and couldn't stand to be there at the moment, got up and grabbed her glass before heading to the kitchen. She poured herself another drink.</p><p>She didn't understand it. She was perfectly happy with her boyfriend and how life was going right now. But all of that came crumbling down with Will in the same room as her now. Emily, truth be told, was happy for JJ. She was glad JJ was seeing someone and was glowing. But now, physically seeing it with her own two eyes made it different. She always nodded off the fact that JJ was dating Will because she never saw them together. But now, this was flooding back memories Emily buried deep into her mind.</p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>Emily snapped out of her thoughts and glanced up at the voice. Penelope stood there with her eyebrows raised and an empty glass in her hand. Emily waved her off and smiled.</p><p>"Yeah, just, uh, trying not to throw up," Emily said and chuckled. Penelope furrowed her eyebrows. "Here."</p><p>Emily poured the blonde woman another drink. Penelope thanked her before the two clinked their glasses together. "You're staring. JJ wanted me to come and check on you."</p><p>"Well, you go ahead and tell JJ I'm fine," Emily said with her head spinning. "And tell her boyfriend it wouldn't kill him to take a joke."</p><p>"I'll pass along the message but keep the messenger's name out of it, so it doesn't cause drama," Penelope said and patted Emily's shoulder before the two made their way back to the crowd. Rossi stood up and tapped a knife against his glass. Everyone glanced up at him.</p><p>"I just wanted to make a toast for this probably new tradition of a family dinner. I'm proud of each and every one of you, even though we haven't been together long. So, to family, to love, and to the sprinkle of happiness that each one of us brings out in this team," Rossi said and raised his glass. The team all following before clinking their glasses together. JJ and Reid smashing together their water bottles.</p><p>Not too long after, everyone was packing up and saying their goodbyes. Aaron was tasked with dealing with Emily as she literally threw herself onto him. The man chuckling as Emily tried to kiss him every five seconds.</p><p>"Have fun with that," Derek said and chuckled. Aaron shook his head as he carried Emily bridal style to the car.</p><p>"You're really nice to look at," Emily said and smiled. Aaron laughed as he settled Emily into the car.</p><p>"And you're drunk," Aaron said and buckled Emily in. The woman grabbing onto his arm and pulled him in for a kiss. The man chuckling as he pulled away and shut the door. By the time Aaron had gotten to the driver's side, Emily was passed out. He shook his head as he started the car and placed his hand on her hand.</p><p>The car ride was filled with the radio playing one of those late-night commentators and Emily's soft snores. Yes, Emily Prentiss snores in her sleep. It's soft and sometimes goes unnoticed, but she snores. And Aaron finds it to be the most adorable thing in the world.</p><p>Aaron parked the car and looked over at Emily, who was asleep. He stepped out of the car and walked over to her side. He undid her seatbelt and pulled the woman into his arms as he kicked the door shut. He carried Emily all the way to her apartment. He earned himself some chuckles from Emily's apartment front desk workers.</p><p>He finally made it up to her apartment and managed somehow to get the both of them inside without moving Emily around too much. Aaron led them both inside as he finally settled Emily down on the bed. She immediately curled into the pillows that were surrounding her. Hotch couldn't help but smile. He sat down at the edge of the bed, just looking at her.</p><p>Emily was a gorgeous woman. Hotch was proud of the woman he got to call his girlfriend. So he stared at her as long as he could just to admire the woman. Finally, he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the woman's forehead.</p><p>"I love you," he slipped out. His lips pursed as he realized what he had said.</p><p>Truth be told, Emily was still very much awake. And the three words caused the woman to suddenly sober up. She glanced over at Hotch, who was trying his best not to make any noise as he walked away.</p><p>"You do?" Emily asked softly. Aaron heard her loud and clear. He turned back around and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He had a feeling she wasn't asleep. He walked right up to the woman again and sat down next to her.</p><p>"I do. I love you," Aaron said and grabbed onto Emily's hand, subconsciously playing with her fingers to ease his nerves. Emily's other hand tilted his head up to make him look at her.</p><p>"I love you too," Emily said and smiled softly. Aaron couldn't help the face-eating grin that took over his face. Emily grabbed onto his shirt and brought him forward, kissing him as passionately as she could. The man pulled away and rested his head against Emily's. "Stay with me tonight?"</p><p>"Of course," Aaron said as he kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed with Emily.</p><p>"And will you hold my hair back in the morning when I'm puking," Emily mumbled as Hotch pulled her against him. The man chuckling. Drunk Emily was one of his favorite versions of Emily.</p><p>"I'll make you breakfast in the morning, too," Aaron said as Emily fell asleep in his arms. The man planting a gentle kiss on her shoulder as he drifted off to sleep too.</p><p>Emily: "I'm not here to grant you the extraordinary love you never had for yourself. I'm here, on my own accord, to love you. So that when you stare into my mirror eyes, you may see how extraordinary you are." Kamand Kojouri.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>drunk emily would cause a lot of drama with her rambling but also fling herself at her lover and i stand by that😌</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>someone be proud i passed one of my important exams! fuck yeahhhh🥳</p><p>this week was a slow week for me so expect three updates throughout this weekend! we'll see if i'll be able to continue this up. </p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing, mentions of drinking, violence, mentions of gun violence<br/>word count: 3881</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Derek: "I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can't protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have to embrace chaos." Susan Elizabeth Phillips. </p><p>Eight months later</p><p>"It's me," Emily said softly. Cyrus locked his jaw and put away his gun. She smiled nervously before he grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her into a storage room.</p><p>"Wait!" Spencer yelled as Cyrus closed the door. Cyrus pulled Emily into the room and smacked her across the face. She fell down but was immediately brought to her feet and punched into the mirror, shattering it with her body as she collided with it. Cyrus held her there, the woman getting a blurry look at herself.</p><p>"The bible tells us blows and wounds will heal us," Cyrus hissed before hitting Emily against the wall. The woman was crying out as his knee hit Emily directly in the stomach.</p><p>"I can take it," Emily said sternly. Hotch had tears in his eyes as he listened to Emily getting beaten.</p><p>"You can take it?" Cyrus taunted before smacking Emily to the floor. She groaned in pain as she struggled back to her feet.</p><p>"We need to go in," Aaron said and balled his fists up as Cyrus hit Emily again.</p><p>"We do that; we risk everyone in there. She's not talking to him. She's talking to us. She doesn't want us to go in," Rossi said. Emily groaned as she was hit directly in her stomach before being shoved to the floor. Everything felt numb.</p><p>"I'm so sorry," Aaron said as tears escaped his eyes. "I'm so sorry."</p><p>The man woke up sweating and panting for air. The incident with Cyrus had happened two weeks ago. Emily was still under bed rest, much against her wishes. Aaron made sure to go see her every day before and after work. He felt terrible about sending her and Spencer there. It was eating at him. So much so he's been losing sleep. All he could dream of was Emily getting beaten because of him. Aaron glanced over at the clock. Seven sixteen.</p><p>Meanwhile, Emily had found herself already up and making herself a quick breakfast. Secretly, she would get up every morning and make herself breakfast before Hotch came. She'd just brush her teeth and chew on a piece of gum before he got there. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.</p><p>Emily was boiling water and grabbed herself a mug from her mug display. Hotch insisted on getting her one after the incident so she wouldn't have to move so much with her bruised ribs.</p><p>Emily reached down and grabbed a pan slowly. There was still a little bit of pain. She set the pan down and walked over to the fridge, and grabbed the bacon and eggs. That's when she heard the sound of keys hitting the lock.</p><p>"Shit," Emily mumbled as she tried to hide all the food back in the fridge. It was too late. Hotch walked in with a bag in his hand.</p><p>"Babe?" he called out and looked into the kitchen to see Emily there at the fridge. He set everything down and placed his hands on his hips. "I thought we talked about this. Coffee only, and I'd handle the food."</p><p>"I'm fine. Besides, I get to go back to work today, so I can't be on bed rest on my first day of freedom," Emily said and smiled innocently as she walked up to Hotch. He had his stone-cold work face on. The woman wrapped her arms around his waist.</p><p>"Have you been lying to me about going on bed rest?" Aaron asked and gently placed his hand on Emily's back. The woman pursed her lips. "Emily."</p><p>"It's just breakfast!" Emily said and sighed. Aaron shook his head as he sat down at the aisle. Emily pushed his hair back. The man looked exhausted. It was evident he wasn't getting much sleep. He had even given up on shaving much to Emily's enjoyment. "Do I need to have the same talk with you as I did with Reid?"</p><p>"What I need is for you to be careful," Aaron said as Emily cradled his head in her arms. The man relaxing against her touch. Emily's finger ran through his short hair.</p><p>"I'm okay, Aaron. That stupid-abusive pedophile is dead and can't get to me anymore. He had a gun to Reid. And it was either I confessed and got whatever the price was, or Spencer was going to get a bullet to his head," Emily said and rested her chin on top of Aaron's head. "I shouldn't have gambled that he wasn't going to kill me. But I'd do it again. I couldn't let him hurt Spencer."</p><p>"You shouldn't play with your life like that," Aaron said softly. Emily nodded her head. "You scared me. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and I realize now I can't do that all the time."</p><p>"You can keep me safe for as long as you can. And for that, I'm thankful," Emily said and smiled. "I'm sorry for scaring you."</p><p>"Promise me, one thing," Aaron said and picked his head up to look at her. "Well, two things."</p><p>"Okay?" Emily said and sighed as she walked around and grabbed two mugs for them.</p><p>"One, no more gambling with your life," Aaron said and stood up, walking over to Emily and grabbing the mug of coffee she poured for him. "And two, make sure that if you do, you have no loose ends. That you're happy with your life and the connections in it. Please."</p><p>"You have my word," Emily said and turned around, taking a sip of her coffee.</p><p>"You are one selfless woman," Aaron said and leaned against the counter across from Emily. His girlfriend's black eye was now faded, and her busted lip was healed better. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too," Emily said and ran her hand down his cheek. The woman smiling at the stubble that was there. "And I love how you took my advice and grew out your beard. You know how to make a woman happy."</p><p>"I'll make a note of that," Aaron said and smiled.</p><p>"But if it grows to pass your chin, we're going to have some problems," Emily said and wrapped her arms around his waist again.</p><p>"I'll keep it to stubble," Aaron said and chuckled. Subconsciously, he was rubbing his fingers together. "I brought you a breakfast sandwich from the diner. And I'll help you get dressed so we can head to work."</p><p>"Stop your fidgeting. I'll be fine," Emily said and grabbed his chin. The man hummed as Emily leaned over and kissed him.</p><p>The two continued with breakfast and setting ground rules for Emily before she got back to the BAU. It included not being able to go into buildings alone out in the field, not being able to bend down or over excessively, and Emily needed to rest at her desk as much as possible. Of course, Emily hated the three rules, but if it gave her anxious boyfriend some peace of mind, she would abide by them.</p><p>A little while later, Emily and Aaron both walked into the BAU. The two being greeted by the team all surrounding Emily's desk. Each hugged the woman gently and wished her a warm welcome back before dispersing to their own worlds. The only one who stuck around was JJ.</p><p>"Are you sure you're feeling okay enough to be here?" JJ asked and pulled out the chair for Emily. The woman slowly sitting down and chuckled.</p><p>"I've been sitting in my bed and couch for the past two weeks straight. I can't wait to go back to work," Emily said and smiled. "Are you okay? You look like you can barely walk. You're just waiting to pop. Your bump looks bigger than the last time I saw you."</p><p>"Emily, you saw me three days ago," JJ chuckled and leaned against the woman's desk. The raven-haired woman shrugged her shoulders. Time didn't exist anymore. "But you should be meeting my short-term replacement in a little bit. She seems nice, at least."</p><p>"Well, I can't wait to meet her," Emily said and patted JJ's knee. The two women breaking away from the other and diving headfirst into their work.</p><p>"I already met her, and she's a handful," Derek said and twirled a pencil between his fingers.</p><p>"You say that about every woman you meet," Spencer commented without even looking up to see Derek's offended look.</p><p>"Then you're doing something wrong. Women only want three things: food, booze, and affirmation of love. Your game must suck then," Emily said jokingly, making Derek toss a crumpled paper at her.</p><p>The three getting lost again in their own world. Emily was having the time of her life doing paperwork again. The woman was so concentrated she worked all the way until lunchtime. She almost finished all of her stacks too. Nothing could tear her away from her files. That was until the sound of JJ calling for Emily echoed in the relatively quiet bullpen space.</p><p>"Emily. This is Agent Jordan Todd. Jordan, this is Emily Prentiss," JJ said as the two shook hands.</p><p>"It's nice to meet you. JJ said you'd be the one to take me under your wing," Jordan said and smiled softly at the woman. "I've got big shoes to fill."</p><p>"Big ankles," JJ said and glanced down as best as she could over her bump to her feet. The three women chuckling.</p><p>"What about you, Emily? Do you have kids?" Jordan asked.</p><p>"No, my donor and I haven't had that conversation yet," Emily joked and placed her hands on her hips.</p><p>"Donor for what?" Aaron asked, secretly walking into the conversation after Emily's sentence. The raven-haired woman's eyes widened. He glanced up from the file in his hand and furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"Nothing," Emily said and patted his arm.</p><p>"Agent Todd, you remember Agent Hotchner," JJ said as the two shook hands.</p><p>"Please, just Hotch," Aaron said, closing the file in his hand and handed it to JJ. He glanced over at Emily. "Can I talk to you for a second?"</p><p>"Of course. Excuse us," Emily said as she and Hotch both walked up the stairs and into his office, shutting the door. Jordan leaned over and pursed her lips.</p><p>"Are they—?"</p><p>"Together? Yes," JJ said and shook her head. "They just like to keep it semi-formal in the office."</p><p>"Strauss just canceled a meeting I have with her during lunch. Something about, she sees all of us too much, so she's taken her lunch off for the first time in weeks," Hotch said and shrugged his shoulder. "Did you want to go to lunch?"</p><p>"You're a mind reader because I was just thinking about a burger and a slice of pie," Emily said with a smile as she walked up to her boyfriend. "Anything to ease your nerves."</p><p>"I'm not nervous," Aaron said and tilted his head in confusion. Emily chuckled.</p><p>"Mhm, sure," Emily said, grabbing Aaron by his tie and pulling him down for a kiss. The man hummed as their lips connected. His hands coming up and gently wrapped around her waist.</p><p>"For heaven's sake! It'll be just a quick minute!"</p><p>The door burst open. The two lovers turned around, and their jaws dropped. Instantly they felt like two teenagers that were caught in the other's house.</p><p>"Mother!" Emily said and ran her hands down her skirt, smoothing out the material. Her mother had her eyebrows raised as she looked back and forth between the two. Aaron's jaw locked as Anderson mouthed an apology as he had his hands up in surrender. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Is it a crime to visit my daughter at work?" Elizabeth asked and walked into the office. Her eyes landing on a very nervous Hotch. "Aaron Hotchner."</p><p>"Ambassador Prentiss," Aaron said and nodded shyly at the woman while her stare seeped into his skin.</p><p>"I hope the bruises on my daughter's face aren't from your doing. I can make your career a living hell if that's the case," the Ambassador said and walked up to her daughter. Her hand gently caressed Emily's face. The woman flinching back from the unusual touch from her mother.</p><p>"No, I got the injuries in the field," Emily said as her mother tilted her head gently side to side to examine the bruises, black eye, and busted lip.</p><p>"Well, I came to steal you away for lunch," Elizabeth said and dropped her hand from her daughter's face. She glanced over at Aaron. "If that's okay with you, of course. I'll only be in Washington for about a week."</p><p>"Well, we actually—"</p><p>"Of course, I don't mind," Aaron said and looked over at Emily. Elizabeth interlocked her fingers in front of her and smiled.</p><p>"Good, I'll go get the car, and we can be on our way," Elizabeth said and turned her back. Emily was giving Aaron a look that could kill. "It was nice seeing you again, Agent Hotchner."</p><p>"You two," Aaron managed to get out before the woman left the office. "Ma'am."</p><p>"What the hell was that?" Emily asked and crossed her arms. Hotch sighed. "Do you not remember five minutes ago, where we made lunch plans? And you were going to get me a slice of pie and a burger?"</p><p>"You hardly see your mom," Aaron said and placed his hand on Emily's arm. "I want you to get every chance to spend with her. Just like we talked about this morning."</p><p>"I love how considerate you're being, but now is not the time," Emily said and placed her hand on Aaron's chest. "I can't be alone with her for five minutes without us arguing over something. Please, come with me."</p><p>"Do you want me to die too?" Aaron asked with his eyebrows raised. Emily groaned and smacked her hand against her forehead. "Try and get along with her, please?"</p><p>"I get to call your mom since you're forcing me into this," Emily said and rolled her eyes. Aaron placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and smiled.</p><p>"Behave, please," Aaron mumbled against her forehead. Emily rolled her eyes and nodded as she left the office. Aaron watched her as she grabbed her bag and walked out of the bullpen without another word.</p><p>The two women made their way to a rather-looking expensive steak house. Elizabeth was always one for costly things, even food. The two sat down, and the tension was already thick in the air. Emily felt sorry for any nearby customers that were about to hear and feel the wrath of the two alpha Prentiss women.</p><p>"So, you and Aaron Hotchner?" Elizabeth asked with a slight sing tone. Emily licked her lips and hummed. "How long have you two been together? And why did you feel the need to keep your mother out of this?"</p><p>"Almost nine months," Emily said calmly as she flipped through the menu. "I thought you said you didn't want to hear about my life at the BAU? Or at least that's what you said the last time I saw you about a year ago."</p><p>Elizabeth took over her glasses and rested her elbow against the table. "That isn't BAU talk, Emily. I just want to know. A mother has the right to be curious about her daughter's life."</p><p>"He's my boss, so technically, it is BAU talk," Emily said sharply. "You can't get mad at me that I followed what you said. Besides, Italy has never been a good country to bother you in."</p><p>"I'll make sure to call more often then. But that begs the bigger question: will you return my calls?" Elizabeth asked and tilted her head. Emily took a deep breath and set down her menu. She was about to say something when the waiter came up, asking the two for their drink and lunch orders.</p><p>"I'll have an old fashion and the steak salad, medium rare," Emily said to the waiter with a forced smile. He could tell the two women were arguing.</p><p>"I'll have a dry martini with three olives and the caesar salad," Elizabeth said with the same attitude. The man quickly writing it down and getting out of there. Once he left, the two women sat back and just stared at the other.</p><p>"Don't do that," Emily said and clenched her jaw. Elizabeth sighed and crossed her legs.</p><p>"What am I doing?" Elizabeth asked.</p><p>"You're giving me that look—the one where you try to guilt me into apologizing. The look hasn't changed since I was a kid," Emily said and crossed her arms.</p><p>"Well, I am truly sorry that I wanted to know more about your life," Elizabeth said sarcastically. Emily scoffed. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"</p><p>"A half-ass apology for banishing me away for pursuing a career I wanted?" Emily asked sternly. The waiter came back and gently placed both drinks down in front of the two ticking women. He smiled nervously as he left.</p><p>"And look at what that got you," Elizabeth said and gestured to Emily. "You look like a street fighter!"</p><p>"A man held a gun to my teammates' head. I threw the logic out the window. And if it meant I died protecting him, that was good enough for me," Emily said and clenched her jaw. She grabbed her drink and immediately took a large swig of it. She needed to be drunk to deal with this situation. "Why are you really here?"</p><p>"I came back for your birthday," Elizabeth said softly as she grabbed her martini. "I thought the two of us, now three. Maybe even four, if your father can get a day off, could do something for your birthday."</p><p>"You want to do something with Aaron?" Emily asked and tilted her head. Elizabeth nodded.</p><p>"Is that so surprising?"</p><p>"Yes, actually," Emily said and pursed her lips.</p><p>"Well, you look happy. So what better way of learning about your life than to sit down with the man who's making you this happy at dinner?" Elizabeth asked.</p><p>"What's going on?" Emily asked and smiled nervously. "Just a year ago, you wanted nothing to do with my life. I got disowned for the second time after I joined Interpol. Why the sudden change of heart?"</p><p>"I'm trying to build a broke bridge with you, Em. I know things between us have been rocky. But I'm trying to rekindle a relationship between us. I'll be spending more time in Washington now that my postings are being cut. And I figured what's a better way to enter the city than to go see my daughter. That's all," Elizabeth said with her hands up. Emily sighed and took another sip of her old-fashion.</p><p>"I'll ask Aaron if he'd like to come to dinner with us," Emily said and pursed her lips. The waiter coming in and breaking up the renewed settled tension between the two women. Both thanked him as he set their food down in front of them before leaving.</p><p>"I always had a feeling the two of you would end up together," Elizabeth said and grabbed her fork. Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "He always had a particular interest in you whenever you were home."</p><p>"Yeah?" Emily asked, smiling to herself as she thought about the young Aaron Hotchner.</p><p>"I'm glad the two of you found each other again. A man like that only comes around once in a lifetime," Elizabeth said as she and Emily dig into their salads.</p><p>The tension settled between the mother and daughter during lunch. The two found themselves wanting to have one good normal conversation. Both were glad they finally got that.</p><p>After a little while, they made their way back to the bullpen. Emily sitting at her desk with a wince. Maybe she did miss her bed.</p><p>"Bye, Em," Elizabeth said and patted her daughter's back. Emily placed her hand on her mother's and smiled softly. She watched her as she walked away, but she didn't walk towards the bullpen doors but up towards the stairs.</p><p>"Mom? What are you doing?" Emily asked and turned her chair to face her mother. "The doors are the other way."</p><p>"I'm going to say my goodbyes to Aaron," Elizabeth said and walked up the stairs. Suddenly, the pain wasn't an issue for her. Emily shot up from her chair and raced to beat her to the office, but Elizabeth already had her hand on the door. She turned and was face to face with her daughter. "Emily."</p><p>The raven-haired woman sighed softly as she leaned against the railing with her arms crossed. Elizabeth opened the door and shut it right behind her. Aaron didn't even look up from his files.</p><p>"How was lunch with your mom—oh, hello Ambassador," Aaron said as he finally looked up. He stood up and smoothed out his jacket. "What could I do for you?"</p><p>"First, stop with the formalities. You're going to drive Emily and I mad with that," Elizabeth said and looked all around his office. "Just call me, Elizabeth."</p><p>"Of course," Aaron said and nodded.</p><p>"And secondly," Elizabeth said and reached her hand out in front of her. Hotch shook her hand. The woman smiled before firmly grasping onto his hand tightly. Hotch kept a straight face as the woman smiled. "You break my daughter's heart; you'll never see another job in Washington. Am I clear?"</p><p>"Crystal," Aaron said softly. Elizabeth let go of his hand with a smile.</p><p>"Good. She talks highly of you. Emily was never a lover, always a fighter. And you've put a smile on her face that I haven't seen in a rather long time. You have a good day, Aaron. And take care of my daughter for me. I know she can be a handful," Elizabeth said and opened the door. Aaron smiled as she left. Emily walked in immediately and shut the door.</p><p>"What happened? Did she hurt you? Did you threaten you?" Emily asked and looked all over Aaron's body for bodily harm. The man didn't say anything as he walked up to her and cupped her cheeks as he kissed her—the woman melting into the kiss. The two stayed in this embrace for a minute before pulling away.</p><p>"I'm okay. And I'm all in," Aaron said and smiled at the woman. Emily smiled softly as the man brought her in for another kiss.</p><p>Aaron: "No matter how far we come, our parents are always in us." Brad Meltzer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm curious to think what y'all think Emily's dad and Hotch's parents are like in the show? </p><p>I'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm still upset we never got an episode for each team member's birthday. it would have been so cute😭</p><p>anyways, in this story i made the conscious decision to skip over Reid's birthday. It'll be mentioned but i don't think it deserves a full chapter for it😙</p><p>sit tight, bestie has some ideas that y'all won't like </p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing, mentions of alcohol<br/>word count: 3785</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ: "Having a birthday is like reaching a higher peak on a mountain. Pause to admire the view; reflect on how far you've come." Richelle E. Goodrich. </p><p>Emily hadn't heard anything from anyone since she woke up this morning. Nothing from Aaron, or JJ, and the rest of the team. It was odd, considering Garcia made everyone painfully aware of everyone's birthdays. Even Hotch, although he never liked to have his birthday be announced.</p><p>The raven-haired woman sighed and found herself in the elevator alone, going up to the sixth floor. When the doors opened, she furrowed her eyebrows as all the lights except in the hallways were off. Emily, being Emily, already had her hand on her gun. She opened the door and turned on the lights when confetti and balloons were thrown in the air.</p><p>"Happy birthday!" they all collectively yelled. Emily smiled widely as she saw all her team members there in bulletproof vests.</p><p>"Oh, you guys. You didn't do anything," Emily said as she walked up to the team. JJ was the first to engulf her in as tightly a hug as she could give. The massive baby bump was in the way sometimes.</p><p>"You know Garcia, and I weren't going to keep quiet on your birthday," JJ said and rubbed Emily's back as they pulled away. "Besides, not our idea."</p><p>"Happy birthday, beautiful," Aaron said with a smile. Emily practically leaps into his arms as the man embraced her. The two pulled away and gave the other a quick kiss before Emily pulled away from him.</p><p>"Happy birthday!" Penelope shouted and embraced Emily in a tight hug. The two women's faces were scrunching up as they hugged.</p><p>"Thank you," Emily said softly. She wasn't used to grand gestures on her birthday. Truth be told, Emily never got a real birthday celebration. The first time she did was when she was in college with Clara and Melissa.</p><p>"Bring it in, princess," Derek said as Emily chuckled. The man hugging her tightly. "Happy birthday. How old are you again? Seventy-four?"</p><p>"You're an ass," Emily said and swatted his back as the rest of the team chuckled. "Forty right on the dot today."</p><p>"Might as well put you in a nursing home," Spencer said jokingly as Emily rolled her eyes. "Happy birthday, Emily."</p><p>"I'm terrified to hear what you have to say about my age," Rossi said and walked up to Prentiss. He kissed both her cheeks before engulfing her in a hug. "Today, we celebrate the impressive forty years of life with wine and cake."</p><p>"Two ways to my heart," Emily joked and pulled away. Aaron came up right next to her with the lighter. Penelope was holding the cake right in front of Emily as the candles were lit. JJ found herself on the other side of Emily.</p><p>"You gotta make a wish. Make it good," JJ said and placed her hand on Emily's arm. The woman shut her eyes and thought about the one thing she wanted before blowing out the candles. Everyone cheered as Emily smiled.</p><p>"Thanks, guys," Emily said as Hotch leaned over and kissed the top of her head.</p><p>"What did you wish for?" Derek asked as Penelope handed him the plates to hold.</p><p>"That's a secret I can't tell. It's bad luck to tell!" Emily said as JJ and Penelope handed her the first slice of cake.</p><p>"The first slice for the birthday girl," JJ said. "We got your favorite red velvet with cream cheese icing."</p><p>"I can't thank you guys enough, really," Emily said and looked around at all of her friends. "I love you guys. You already made this day special."</p><p>"You deserve it," Rossi said. "Now, cake!"</p><p>Emily was pampered with gifts from the six of them. Derek's gift was first to be opened. Emily rolled her eyes as she opened it. It was a framed picture of Morgan flipping the woman off. She scoffed. "Great, I can hang a piece of trash on my wall."</p><p>"Hey!" Derek said and looked hurt. "That wasn't the only thing in the bag, idiot."</p><p>Emily furrowed her eyebrows and opened the bag again. Inside, there was a medium-size painting of the seven of them at Rossi's family night. Emily smiled and leaned over, hugging the man.</p><p>"Okay, I love it," Emily said and patted his back. The man nodding his head. "This is going proudly above my entertainment system. Thank you."</p><p>"I still like the other one better," Derek said and chuckled. Spencer placed his bag down in front of Emily and smiled. The woman opened the bag and pulled out a signed version of Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut.</p><p>"Woah, Woah! How did you get this? He died like a year ago!" Emily asked and held the book to her chest.</p><p>"I have some connections in the book world. You said it was one of your favorites," Spencer said as Emily stood up and engulfed him into a hug.</p><p>"I love it," Emily said and pulled back. "Thank you."</p><p>Rossi was next as he slid the bag over to Emily. The woman had a feeling of what it was by the heaviness. She opened the bag, and her suspicions were confirmed. It was a bottle of Don Julio 1942. One of the best bottles of tequila on the market. The bottle costing a pretty one hundred and sixty dollars.</p><p>"Don't go too crazy on that," Rossi said and chuckled. Emily stood up and shook her head.</p><p>"No promises, dad. Thank you," Emily said and smiled as Rossi grabbed her face giving her a kiss on both cheeks.</p><p>"That sounds like a good bottle for girls' night," Penelope said and dropped her bag in front of Emily. It was much larger than all of the other bags. Emily opened the bag and smiled. Penelope had gotten her the pair of boots the woman had been wanting. Emily's jaw dropped. They were sold out last time she checked the website. "Pretty good, right?"</p><p>"The best! Oh, Penelope!" Emily said as the blonde woman threw her arms around Emily. "Thank you."</p><p>"You're welcome. JJ?" Penelope said and pulled away from Emily. The blonde woman placing down the tiny bag in front of Emily. The raven-haired woman furrowed her eyebrows as she grabbed it. She opened it and saw a small box there. Emily opened it and saw a bracelet. A charm bracelet, to be exact. There were three charms on it. One of which was a small booklet with the word passport written on the side. The second one was a small statue of liberty. The third being the Eiffel tower.</p><p>"You never got around to tell me more stories. So I went with three safe ones," JJ said and stuffed her hands into her back pockets. Emily's fingers gently moved the charms. Her face was soft as she smiled. "The more stories we hear, I can add the more charms, my treat."</p><p>"I love it. Thank you," Emily said and hugged the woman gently. The baby bump was keeping them slightly away from each other. The blonde woman smiled as she shut her eyes.</p><p>"I'm glad you love it," JJ said rubbed the woman's back as they pulled away. The blonde woman grabbed the bracelet. She put it on Emily's wrist and smiled as the woman shook her wrist slightly. "I'll make sure every birthday to get you a new charm."</p><p>"I'll hold you to that," Emily said and chuckled.</p><p>"Now I want to be nosey, what did Sir. Hotch get the lovely birthday princess?" Penelope asked, clasped her hands together.</p><p>"Sir Hotch had his wallet flattened by a shopping spree which included a pair of Louis Vuitton heels and red bottoms," Aaron said and shook his head as Emily placed his hand on his chest.</p><p>"Do you need a new Emily? I can rock a skirt," Derek said, making the team burst out laughing. Emily swatting his shoulder.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>"Excuse me," Aaron said and pulled away from Emily to answer his phone. The team all helped Emily pick up as Aaron took his phone call. His head was hung low as he walked back to the group. "We have a case. It's local. The kidnapping of an eleven-year-old boy and his father from Reston."</p><p>"Reston?" Emily asked and furrowed her eyebrows. The team all looked around at her. Her mother instinct kicked in.</p><p>"Yeah, um, JJ, Emily, Garcia, I want you to stay here and coordinate with local P.D. The rest of us can head off with the search party," Hotch said and kissed Emily on the cheek. "The sooner we solve this case, the sooner we can open that bottle."</p><p>"That's all the motivation we need," Penelope said and placed both of her hands on both women's backs.</p><p>"Bye," Emily said and kissed his cheek quickly. "Be careful."</p><p>"Always," Aaron said before him, Spencer, Derek, and Rossi went out of the bullpen. Just then, Emily felt her phone buzz. She pulled out her phone.</p><p>Declan: happy birthday, mom!!! I'll see you this weekend!! I hope you like pizza, my treat!</p><p>Emily's anxiety was relieved as she read the message. He was okay. He was okay.</p><p>The workday continued as usual. The four men walked into the school and showed their badges. Spencer and Derek opted to start talking to some of the missing boy's friends and classmates.</p><p>"What about you? What's your name?" Derek asked and crouched in front of the eleven-year-old.</p><p>"Declan. Declan Jones," he said and fidgeted in his seat. He didn't take too well to alpha men. He didn't really know why but the idea of a strong authority figure scared him. "Tommy is on the basketball with me. We go to the park every Saturday to play."</p><p>"And he wasn't acting strange? Nothing unusual?" Spencer asked and leveled with Declan. The boy shook his head. "Thank you, Declan."</p><p>The young boy was dismissed right as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out.</p><p>Emily: thank you, baby! I miss you. I'll see you this weekend. And of course, as long as there's extra cheese on it. Have a good day at school. I love you!</p><p>Declan smiled at the message before he stuffed his phone back in his pockets and walked into class.</p><p>"Hey! Emily! It's good to see you again," Jordan said and adjusted her bag on her shoulder. Emily turned.</p><p>"Agent Todd! I didn't know you were brought into this case," Emily said and closed the folder in her hand.</p><p>"JJ said you guys needed extra hands on deck. I'll be glad to help. Plus, JJ is set to leave on maternity leave soon, so I'll have to learn my way around the ropes at some point," Jordan said and shrugged her shoulder. She opened her bag and grabbed a card from inside. "Penelope told me it was your birthday. So I stopped to get you a little something."</p><p>"Oh, you didn't have to! I would have just taken a shot of tequila and called it a day," Emily said jokingly, making Jordan laugh. The woman handing her the card. "Well, thank you. I appreciate it."</p><p>"No problem," Jordan said and smiled as the two women walked towards Penelope's office. The two walked in and heard Penelope typing away.</p><p>"Anything yet?" Emily asked and handed JJ the file of the father, Jonathan.</p><p>"No, I even ran ahead with background checks on all the boys on the basketball team with him. It's like a brotherhood, and they all came back clean," Penelope said and sighed. Emily's eyes catching the picture of Declan on Penelope's computer. Oh no.</p><p>"Hey um, Pen? You look tense. You want to come with me to grab coffee and waters for everyone?" Emily asked. Penelope turned and nodded.</p><p>"I thought you'd never ask, sweet love," Penelope said, and Emily leaned her hand out for Penelope. The two women walking out of the lair. JJ and Jordan both shrugged at each other. That was a bit odd, but they both just decided not to question Emily.</p><p>JJ felt a sharp cramp in her stomach. The blonde woman was grunting softly as she placed her hand on the baby bump. Jordan furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"JJ?" she asked. The blonde woman exhaling slowly and rubbed the bump soothingly. "You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, just a kick. We're putting them in soccer since they're good at kicking," JJ said jokingly. Jordan making a note of the time and just nodded her head. JJ was trying to keep her facial expressions to a minimum now that three people were watching her.</p><p>Not too long after, Emily and Penelope walked back into the room. The two handed the other women waters. JJ thanked Emily for hers. The woman's face scrunched up slightly. Emily immediately caught it.</p><p>"You okay?" Emily asked and furrowed her eyebrows. JJ scrunched up her face and nodded.</p><p>"Yeah, just, the baby is kicking," JJ said and inhaled sharply. Emily's eyes widened as she looked over at Jordan and Penelope.</p><p>"But that's what you said earlier," Jordan said and flicked her eyes from Emily to Penelope.</p><p>"Earlier?" Penelope asked. "How much earlier?"</p><p>"Like a minute apart," JJ said and groaned softly.</p><p>"JJ, you're in labor!" Emily said. JJ started to laugh nervously.</p><p>"That's no possible. I'm not due until November twelfth," JJ said and tried to push away the cramps she was experiencing. "I'm not ready!"</p><p>"JJ, I swear to God, I will carry you to the hospital against your will. Let's go," Emily said and grabbed the woman's hand, helping her to stand up.</p><p>"I'm coming with you guys to the hospital," Penelope said and took out her earpiece.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>"Uhhh!" Penelope groaned and stood up. She answered the phone. "JJ is in labor!"</p><p>"What?" Derek and Hotch both said.</p><p>"Emily and I are taking her to the hospital, so whatever it is, it can wait," Penelope said and was about to hang up the phone.</p><p>"No, Garcia. The unsub is broadcasting the torture of the father. Stay in your office, and Emily can take care of JJ. Jordan can help you," Aaron said and placed his hand on his forehead. Penelope sat back down. Emily, hearing the conversation, helped JJ out of the room. The woman was practically crushing her hand as she led her out.</p><p>"I hope you're ready, Jordan! Your job starts today!" Emily shouted as the doors shut. Emily quickly ran to JJ's office and grabbed her things before going back to the woman who was sitting down and hyperventilating.</p><p>"I need to call Will," JJ said as Emily helped her up again.</p><p>"In the car. One step at a time, JJ," Emily said and led the woman into the elevator.</p><p>"Oh god! I don't even have a hospital bag ready," JJ said and held onto her stomach. Emily fanning her as the elevator doors opened to the garage.</p><p>"Let's pray Will can do one thing by himself," Emily mumbled and helped JJ into her car. The blonde woman groaning as Emily started the car.</p><p>"If my water breaks in here—"</p><p>"You'll owe me a car wash," Emily joked, making JJ laugh through the pain. Emily placed her hand out, and JJ gladly took it, squeezing the woman's hand.</p><p>Emily had quickly made her way to the hospital. She pulled into the Emergency room entrance and helped JJ out of the car. Two people came running out to help.</p><p>"She's in labor! Someone help her!" Emily said and practically carried JJ to the sidewalk. It was evident Emily was far more nervous and overreacting than JJ. One of the nurses grabbed a wheelchair and settled JJ in it.</p><p>"Call him," JJ said softly. Emily furrowed her eyebrows as she crouched in front of JJ. "Call Will, Emily!"</p><p>"Right, right," Emily said as the nurses rolled JJ inside. "I'll park the car, and I'll be right in!"</p><p>Emily got into the car and pulled out her phone. She dialed Will before pulling into the parking lot and parking her car. The woman simply uttered the words "JJ is in" before Will stopped what he was doing and hung up the phone. Emily managed to shout out the hospital name before he hung up.</p><p>Hours had passed, and JJ was in the screaming part of the delivery. Emily was on one side, having her hand crushed. At the same time, Will was on the other. The two staying quiet as JJ screamed in agony.</p><p>"I'm going to kill you," JJ shouted out as she threw her head back in pain. Her head turning towards Emily.</p><p>"Me? He did this to you!" Emily shouted pointed at Will. The man looking over at Emily.</p><p>"Thank you for being helpful," Will said sarcastically.</p><p>"Shut up! Both of you shut up!" JJ gritted through her teeth. She turned to Will. "Get the doctor in here."</p><p>Will didn't even hesitate to run out of the room and find the doctor. JJ's hand was almost breaking Emily's. "What can I do, JJ? You need me to fan you?"</p><p>"Get the doctor to get this thing out of me," JJ said before her lower regions felt on fire. Emily nodded and ran out of the hospital room with Will to find the doctor. The two walked in and went to their respective sides—Emily on the right and Will on the left.</p><p>"Okay, Jennifer. We're going to start pushing," the doctor said as JJ screamed in pain. Both the new and ex-lover's hands were definitely going to need ice after this.</p><p>After many painful hours of labor and a few complications, the room was finally filled with a baby's crying. JJ burst into tears as she heard it. The woman was sweating out of her mind. Her body was exhausted from the delivery process. Emily fanned her as Will leaned over and kissed the woman's head.</p><p>"You did it, babe," Will said, making JJ smile. "I'm so proud of you."</p><p>"Will? Would you like to cut the cord?" the doctor asked, holding the newborn in her hands. Will nodded and wiped his tears before grabbing the scissors from the doctor. "Right there."</p><p>He cut the cord and smiled at the newborn. The doctor wrapping the baby loosely in a blanket. "Congratulations, you two. You have a perfectly healthy baby boy. Would you like to hold him?"</p><p>JJ nodded as the doctor gently placed her son down onto her. The blonde woman was crying at the contact.</p><p>He was perfect.</p><p>"Hi, baby," JJ said with the biggest smile on her face. Emily wiped away the tears spilling out of her eyes at the sight. JJ was a natural mother. The picture of her in pure peace brought a smile to her face. "Do you want to say hi to Auntie Emmy?"</p><p>"No, JJ, it's okay. You hold him," Emily said and leaned over and ran her thumb over the baby's cheek. "I'll just admire from right here."</p><p>"Don't be silly. You two have to bond right away. After all, he did steal some of your birthday light," JJ said and smiled.</p><p>"Will? Do you want to hold him before?" Emily asked. The man shaking his head.</p><p>"I'm afraid to drop him," Will said and chuckled. JJ sat up as best as she could and carefully transferred the newborn to Emily. The woman's eyes were lighting up as the baby nuzzled into her hand.</p><p>"Hi," Emily said softly. The baby cooing in response. JJ's heart was bursting at the sight. Emily was so gentle with children. It made everyone's heartache. She deserves to be a mother. "You know, I'm a little mad at you right now. It's my birthday today too. But it's okay, you and I can share a cake when you get older."</p><p>Will and JJ both laughing as Emily rocked the newborn gently in her arms. The woman catching a glimpse of the baby's blue eyes. "You've got your mom's eyes. But the rest, that's all your dad."</p><p>"Let's hope he grows out of that," Will said jokingly. Emily carefully walked around to the other side of the room. Will's eyes widened as she walked over to him.</p><p>"You gotta learn how to hold him eventually," Emily said and chuckled. Will slicked his hair back and nodded. He bent down slightly as Emily transferred him to Will. The man chuckling as the baby relaxed into the embrace.</p><p>"Hey, buddy," Will said and rocked the child. Emily sat at the edge of the bed as JJ was finally relaxing. She placed her hand on her leg and smiled. "I think you are the luckiest little boy in the world. You got a room full of people outside who all want to meet you. And they're all very protective."</p><p>"Scary protective," JJ said and laughed. Her hand reached down to Emily's. "Thank you."</p><p>"You're welcome," Emily said softly. Just then, the room was being filled with FBI agents.</p><p>"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Penelope said and walked up to Will. He looked like a proud father holding onto his son. "Oh, hi. Hi baby."</p><p>"Do you have a name picked out yet?" Derek asked and tried to sneak a glance at the baby that Penelope was blocking. Will looked over at JJ and nodded.</p><p>"Henry," JJ said and smiled.</p><p>"Ruler of the home. Fitting," Emily said, making everyone chuckle.</p><p>"Welcome to the family, Henry," Spencer said and smiled. Aaron smiled widely as Emily found her way to him. She placed her hand on his chest as he kissed her head.</p><p>"Hopefully soon, you'll have another cousin," Rossi said and tilted his head over to the other couple in the room. Aaron and Emily both blushing as everyone's eyes landed on them. Emily shook her head and looked up at Aaron, who was already looking down at her.</p><p>"We'll see," Emily said and smiled.</p><p>Rossi: "For this child, I prayed and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart." 1 Samuel 1:27.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, i made emily and henry share a birthday and what about it??? it'll be important in upcoming chapters🤩</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>salem once again wrote this chapter with little to no sleep in her system so i'll be napping (hopefully) for the rest of this fine sunday🥳</p><p>also a little bit of a disclaimer before we start. abuse of any kind should never be tolerated. not everyone has resources or people to vent to. so if any of you feel the need to talk or anything else, my dms are always open. you're not alone</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing, mentions of abuse, mentions of alcohol abuse, slight mentions of physical abuse <br/>word count: 3844</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily: "With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come." William Shakespeare. </p><p>Emily rolled over on the bed and laid back against the warmth next to her. She sighed in relief before turning around. Emily smiled down at Aaron as he peacefully slept. Her hand came up and pushed back the man's hair. He woke up due to the touch.</p><p>"Mmm, good morning," Aaron mumbled. "What time did you get in with Clara?"</p><p>"Late," Emily said and smiled. She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Happy birthday, my love."</p><p>"This is a pretty good way to wake up being forty-four," Aaron said and chuckled. Emily settled herself onto his lap as he sat up. "I want to wake up to this for the rest of my life."</p><p>"I told you I wasn't the marrying type," Emily said softly. Aaron sighed and tilted his head.</p><p>"Maybe you hadn't met the right person to do it with when you made that assumption about yourself," Aaron said and wrapped his arms around Emily's waist. The woman's hands running over the stubble.</p><p>"Is this your way of asking me to marry you?" Emily asked. Her confidence was boosting. Aaron brought out the best in her. Everyone around could see that the woman carried herself differently when the two started dating. "Because I'll need a ring."</p><p>Aaron chuckled and kissed the woman's cheek. "Now you seem excited about the idea of marriage."</p><p>Emily stayed quiet and just wrapped her arm around his neck. The woman kissing him softly before getting up.</p><p>"Come on, I'm making you breakfast," Emily said and reached her hand out. The man smiled before grabbing it.</p><p>"I love burnt eggs," he said and chuckled.</p><p>"I can still be mad at you on your birthday," Emily said and swatted Hotch's arm.</p><p>Emily, surprisingly, didn't burn the house down with Hotch's scrambled eggs and blueberry pancakes. The two continued with their breakfast before Emily slipped away and grabbed the tiny box from her purse. She walked up to Aaron and slid it over to him.</p><p>"Uh oh," Aaron said and grabbed the box. He glanced up at Emily, who had a proud smile on her face before he opened it. His eyes widened.</p><p>"A Rolex?" Aaron asked and looked up at Emily in disbelief. "Holy shit."</p><p>"You like it, right? Penelope helped me pick it," Emily said and walked up behind him.</p><p>"I love it," Aaron said as Emily kissed the man's head. He turned and wrapped his arms tightly around Emily. "What did I do to deserve you?"</p><p>"You picked me," Emily said and smiled. "Okay, any more requests before I close up the kitchen?"</p><p>"Just one," Aaron said and pulled Emily in for a kiss. Emily smiled into the kiss. She knew where this was going. The man picked her up and led the two of them onto the couch.</p><p>An hour later, the two walked into the BAU. Emily had a blindfold on him and smiled widely as she leads him to the conference room. The man having his arms in front of him and trying to sense where he was. She walked him into the room and took off the blindfold.</p><p>"Surprise!" the team all shouted along with some mumbles of a happy birthday. Aaron smiled widely as they made their way towards him. Emily stood back as the man was engulfed with love from the five other team members.</p><p>"You guys didn't have to do this," Aaron said and smiled as Emily held the cake up. Rossi was lighting the candles.</p><p>"I wanted to make your birthday special. So blow out the candles and make a wish," Emily said, and Aaron shut his eyes before blowing out the candles. Everyone cheered as Emily set down the cake. "Cake anyone?"</p><p>"I'm good. I'm still full of cake from last week. Hotch, if you hire anyone else to the team, make sure their birthday is nowhere near October or November," Derek said and patted the man's back. "Reid basically guilt-tripped me into eating two pieces of his birthday cake with him."</p><p>"It was semi-voluntary," Spencer said as Emily handed him a piece of cake.</p><p>"Hotch, there's someone who misses you," JJ said and gestured to the car seat. The man crouching down and seeing the infant in there peacefully asleep.</p><p>"I thought I told you to stay home during Reid's birthday celebration," Aaron said and glanced up at JJ.</p><p>"You really think I was going to miss two birthday celebrations? Yeah, right," JJ said and chuckled. "Plus, Em and Garcia begged me to come back with Henry."</p><p>"Do you mind if I hold him?" Aaron asked softly. JJ smiled and nodded. She carefully maneuvered Henry into the man's arms. Emily catching the interaction, and her heart fluttered. Aaron turned and started to rock the child gently. Penelope waved a hand in front of the woman's face.</p><p>"You stare any longer, and you'll manifest it," Penelope said and patted Emily's arm. The raven-haired woman looked over at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Are you thinking about it? Because I wouldn't mind another godchild."</p><p>Emily laughed and shook her head. "I think, uh, I think that ship has sailed."</p><p>"There's always adoption," Penelope sang out as the two women looked over at Aaron, who was sitting down and whispering to Henry.</p><p>Aaron would love Declan.</p><p>After giving Hotch his ranging gifts of liquor, luxury brand ties, cologne, and desk decorations, the team all dispersed. The desk decorations were complements from Penelope. Aaron had loved all the gifts and had help from Emily settling them all into his office.</p><p>Emily smiled at the picture of the seven of them that she placed right on Aaron's desk. She grabbed the other one, a photo of herself, Aaron, and Jack right next to it. Aaron's office started to feel more like his own instead of just a concrete box he spends his days in.</p><p>The day continued like any other typical day. Penelope made her way from the coffee pot to the lair when a certain dirty blonde caught her eye. She handed her mug to some random man walking past her as she smoothed out her skirt and turned, following the apparent biker.</p><p>"Hey, I was just about to come and get you. Derek said nobody else wants cake, so I don't know if you want to go take a trip to Strauss?" JJ said and furrowed her eyebrows as Penelope paid little to no attention to her. He was about to walk up to them when Derek walked down the stairs with Henry in his arms.</p><p>"Sean! Hey man, what are you doing here?" Derek asked, making the two women glance back and forth between the two. "You must be looking for your brother."</p><p>"Yeah, do you know where he is?" Sean asked and adjusted the helmet in his hands. Penelope and JJ both sat back, admiring the view.</p><p>"Up the stairs, first door," Sean said and gesture to Hotch's office. Sean thanked him and waved goodbye to the two women watching him.</p><p>"That's Hotch's brother?" JJ asked as her eyes did some shameless wandering.</p><p>"Maybe Hotch is adopted," Penelope said in disbelief. Emily walked into the bullpen and smiled at Henry before her attention turned towards whatever the three of them were looking at.</p><p>"Who's that?" Emily asked and looked over at the three agents.</p><p>"Hotch's brother," Derek said and rocked Henry slightly. Penelope placed a hand on Emily's shoulder, her eyes never leaving Sean.</p><p>"I wouldn't mind being your sister-in-law," Penelope said mindlessly, making the three of them laugh.</p><p>"Sean?" Aaron asked as he stood up. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"I made the trip to come and see you. Happy birthday, man," Sean said and walked up to his brother. The two embraced quickly before pulling away. "Forty-four. You're getting old."</p><p>"You're thirty-eight. Calm it down," Aaron said and shook his head. "This is your first time here. Let me give you the tour. I think you already met Garcia and JJ."</p><p>"Yeah," Sean said and laughed. He glanced out the window to the three women sitting around Emily's desk. "I have not met the brunette with them, however."</p><p>Aaron nodded and walked out of the office. "Emily. Can I talk to you for a second?"</p><p>Emily broke away from JJ and Garcia and walked up the stairs. She took a deep breath before entering the office.</p><p>"Hello," Sean said as Emily walked in. The woman taking in the blonde man standing in front of her. He stuck his hand out and smiled charmingly at her. "I'm Sean. And you are?"</p><p>"Emily," she said and shook his hand.</p><p>"Watch the eyes. She's already taken," Aaron said and shook his head. Emily walked up to Aaron and handed him her files. "This is my brother, Sean. Sean, this is my girlfriend, Emily."</p><p>"Oh! I finally get to meet the infamous girlfriend that's teaching my brother to smile again," Sean said as Emily placed her hand on Aaron's arm.</p><p>"Aaron's told me so much about you. Are you going to be joining Jack and us for dinner tonight? It's not much, just pizza and some movies," Emily said and smiled softly at him.</p><p>"Um, no, actually. I just decided to drop by from New York. My shift starts early," Sean said and pursed his lips. "This guy never returns any of my calls, so I figured a trip down here would take less time."</p><p>"Oh, that's too bad. Maybe the three of us can take a trip to New York and visit you sometime. I'm sure Jack would love to see you," Emily said and looked over at Aaron.</p><p>"Yeah, that sounds great. I'll make plans with Aaron," Sean said and glanced over at his brother.</p><p>"Great! Well, I'll leave you two to it," Emily said and smiled as she walked out of the room. Both men's eyes followed her as she left.</p><p>"I do have to applaud you in your taste in women. She's a beauty," Sean said and gestured to Emily through the window.</p><p>"She's my best work," Aaron said and smiled at the woman outside. She was passed Henry and looked to have the time of her life as she sat and ran her finger over his little hands.</p><p>"What does Jack think about her?" Sean asked and crossed his arms. Aaron looked over at the picture of the three of them on his desk.</p><p>"He loves her. Probably more than he loves me," Aaron said jokingly. Sean chuckled and shook his head.</p><p>"I'm glad you finally have someone to take care of you again. I told you. After Haley left with that jackass bartender, I knew it wouldn't be long until big brother Aaron found someone again," Sean said and smiled. "I'm happy for you."</p><p>"Thanks," Aaron said and reached over, shaking the man's hand. The two brothers saw their way out of Hotch's office. Penelope scrambled to look busy as he glanced over at her. The two men chuckling as they passed.</p><p>"It was lovely meeting you all. Take care of the old man," Sean said and patted Aaron's chest. The six-team members all nodded as the Hotchner brothers walked out of the bullpen.</p><p>"He's like Hotch if he went to art school instead of law school," Spencer said, making the group chuckle.</p><p>Hours had passed, and everyone had closed up shop. JJ left first after Sean. Henry needed to be put down for a nap, and Will was getting anxious with the woman being gone for so long. Jordan left after her. She only popped into the bullpen for cake and to say happy birthday to Hotch before disappearing back in JJ's office. Derek, Spencer, Penelope, and Rossi all left for drinks at O'Keefe's.</p><p>And Emily and Aaron found themselves picking up Jack from Haley's. The boy handing his father a card he made himself and a tube of ice cream that he had his mother get for him. It was Hotch's favorite. Plain chocolate.</p><p>The couple made it home with two boxes of pizza and the little boy. Jack instantly sat down, pulling Emily and Aaron with him. The man let Jack pick any movie he wanted. Jack, of course, picked a Captain America movie.</p><p>This was peace to Aaron. Having his son happily snug between him and Emily was all he needed. The man hated his birthday. He never liked to celebrate. But now, with Emily in his life, he was slowly learning to appreciate it. This was the first of many birthdays to spend with her. Hopefully, it wouldn't be the last. Truthfully, he was enjoying himself.</p><p>"Emmy, you're the black widow. Daddy is Captain America," Jack said and held onto Emily's hand. The woman nodding her head.</p><p>"So, who are you?" Emily asked softly. Jack sat up and leaped onto the woman's lap.</p><p>"Spiderman!" Jack yelled. Emily stood up with the boy in her hands and lifted him in the air. She ran with him towards the wall as Jack had his hand out, reenacting the Spider web shooter. Aaron watched as Emily ran around the apartment with him in her hands. Jack was having the time of his life. "Attack Captain America!"</p><p>Emily and Jack crashed down right on top of Aaron. The man groaning as the two began to tickle him. He stood up and managed to fling Emily over his shoulder and grabbed Jack.</p><p>He ran with the two of them in his arms to his bedroom. He crashed both down onto his bed. Both were laughing as Aaron placed his hands on his hips. "I think it's time for Spiderman to go get changed into his pajamas. Come on."</p><p>Aaron carried the boy into his bedroom for a fresh change of clothes. Emily had found herself in the kitchen. She fixed the three of them some ice cream sundaes just in time as Jack ran out of the room.</p><p>The three settle back onto the couch. Emily found herself under Aaron's arm as Jack settled on her lap, happily eating the ice cream that Emily served to him.</p><p>After an entire movie and bowl of ice cream later, Emily had the now sleeping Jack in her arms. She carefully got up with the sleeping boy in her arms. She smiled as she walked into the room, sitting the boy down on his bed.</p><p>"Good night, buddy," Emily said softly. "I love you."</p><p>The woman pulled the covers over him and kissed his head softly. Emily smiled and walked out of the room as quietly as she could. She walked into the living room and saw Hotch there. He patted the spot next to him. He already had wine and two glasses out.</p><p>"You really do know me," Emily said and sat down next to him. The man smiled as he poured the two wine. The two settling into the couch. Emily rested her head on Aaron's chest as the two laid back and watched a random crime movie Hotch had put on. "You can't seem to escape work, can you?"</p><p>"It's fun to pick at the things they get wrong," Aaron said and kissed the woman's head. Emily shook her head.</p><p>"You're like Reid watching Star Trek for catching the Physics errors," Emily said and looked up at Aaron. The man smiled down at her before their attention went back to the movie.</p><p>The basics of the movie were simple. It was of an undercover woman, but she fell in love with the man she was set to kill. Emily was a bit uneasy. She knew that story all too well.</p><p>"What would your name be? Like a fake name?" Hotch asked as he looked down at Emily. She pursed her lips and swayed her head slightly.</p><p>"I would make it obvious but subtle. Maybe after a musician," Emily said and tapped her finger against his chest. "Joan. Like Joan Jett."</p><p>"That's a good one. Mine would be Paul. Like Paul McCartney from the Beatles," Hotch said and nodded as Emily laughed. "What? I like the Beatles!"</p><p>"You and the Beatles," Emily said and shut her eyes. She was at peace right now. Aaron rubbed her shoulders gently as they watched the movie. The air in the room changed. Aaron looked down at his girlfriend.</p><p>"You okay?" Hotch asked softly. He reached next to him and grabbed his wine glass, taking a sip of the alcohol.</p><p>"Can I ask you a question?" Emily asked and looked up at Aaron. The man set his drink down next to him and nodded his head. "Why don't you like to celebrate your birthday?"</p><p>Aaron sighed softly as Emily moved to sit upright next to him. He grabbed onto the remote and paused the movie. Emily placed her elbow behind him and put her other hand on Hotch's.</p><p>"You don't have to tell me. I'm just curious," Emily said. Aaron nodded and glanced over at her.</p><p>"My birthday was never about me. It was just more of an excuse for my father to celebrate with drinks," Aaron said softly. The man's eyes focused on the television in front of him. "He was a heavy drinker. I mean, he was a lawyer, after all. Different substances surrounded him. I think I should be thankful it was alcohol and not any other substance. It would have taken him sooner and just made everything worse."</p><p>Emily's heart sank. She had a feeling she knew where this was going.</p><p>"He would get so drunk, Sean, and I would have to drag him back inside the house so he wouldn't freeze to death. My mom, she always just stood on the sidelines and watched as my father threw away his life," Aaron said and shook his head slightly. "She let Sean and I be victimized by him. Sometimes things weren't so bad. Being, uh, being a big brother, you want to protect your siblings any way you can. I never wanted Sean to get hurt in any way. So when—when he would get drunk, I'd tell Sean to hide under the bed. I'd take, whatever it was, so long as he didn't hurt him. He never hit me. It was just more of emotional abuse. He would often raise his hand and was just about to snap, but he would never do it. He was too much of a coward to show me his real colors. It never failed to happen every year on my birthday after cake."</p><p>"You protected Sean from all those years of emotional abuse," Emily said and pursed her lips.</p><p>"Yeah. It's not very encouraging when you're ten, and all your father could tell you is how much of a disappointment you are to him. How he wishes you were never born. How he wished he could just toss you to the side of the road like trash," Aaron said and clenched his jaw. "I knew that would damage Sean from a young age. I always wanted what was best for him; that still hasn't changed."</p><p>"You are a brave man, Aaron Hotchner," Emily said and pushed the hair on his head back. "You protect the people you love."</p><p>"I try to. My mom never intervened. Looking from a psychological standpoint, she was terrified and didn't want to fall victim to my father's harsh words. It's possible that she was his first punching bag. And when they brought Sean and me into the picture, she was relieved that someone else was taking it. And years following, she's been trying to make it up to me through words of affirmation. Random letters telling me how much she misses me and wishes I would go visit her in Albuquerque," Aaron said and sighed. "She moved over there after my dad died. Sean and I were already grown. So I went to Seattle. Sean went to New York. And she stayed the hell away from us."</p><p>"Is this why you never wanted me to meet her?" Emily asked and wrapped her arms around his waist. Aaron finally looked over at her and smiled softly.</p><p>"If you want to go meet her, I'll gladly take you. But I just don't want to be met with disappointment again," Aaron said and sighed. Emily nodded her head. "It's funny. Even from the grave, Marcus has a toll on me."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Emily asked and rested her chin on his shoulder.</p><p>"That's the reason why when an unsub or anyone is practically yelling at me in the face, I either glare them down or fight them. My emotional response from my childhood kicks in. I think maybe that's why I was a bully when I was a kid. I felt powerless, so I took power back outside my house. And that includes breaking Douglas Briggs's nose," Aaron rambled and stared right ahead to the television again. "I'm just so scared I'm going to end up like him."</p><p>"Well, you know what I think?" Emily asked and caressed the man's chest to calm him down. "I think you are one selfless man. A bit of a drill sergeant at times, but the good man I know is in there. You don't tolerate down talk from anyone because now, as an adult, you're sure of yourself. And that's all anyone can ask for."</p><p>"You think so?" Aaron asked. His eyes glossy as he locked eyes with Emily.</p><p>"A wise person once said that damaged children often make the best parents because they know what it's like," Emily said and thought back to a certain blonde woman. "Your biggest fear is that you'll turn into him. And you are not going to do that. Because you're a good man. And you love your son more than anything to put him in the same situation. You are an amazing dad, Aaron."</p><p>"I think with your help, I'll start to like my birthday again," Aaron said and grabbed onto Emily's hand.</p><p>"That's what I'm here for," Emily said and smiled. "I love you so much."</p><p>"I love you too," Aaron said and leaned over, kissing the woman softly.</p><p>Spencer: "Dear Fathers of the Fatherless Children: Be a part of your son's and daughter's success instead of their pain." Charlena E. Jackson.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>only one more chapter and then everything starts to get a little heated😚</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was going to put a filler chapter before this but why not just dive head first. things are about to take a nasty turn for the BAU😗</p><p>also this man is so fine, i've been staring at this photo for twenty minutes WOW</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, mentions of drinking, NSFW, smut, 18+, mentions of violence <br/>word count: 4179</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Derek: "I couldn't have dreamed you into existence because I didn't even know I needed you. You must have been sent to me." Kamand Kojouri</p><p>One year and two months later</p><p>"You two have fun!" Penelope sang out as Emily and Aaron walked out of the bullpen. "Send me lots of pictures from New York!"</p><p>"We will!" Emily said and walked into the elevator with Aaron in her hand. The two waving at Penelope as the elevator doors closed.</p><p>"Oh, thank heavens," Penelope said as she walked into the bullpen. Derek chuckled as he saw Penelope plop herself down at Emily's desk.</p><p>"What's going on with you? You look five years younger when you sat down," Derek said and leaned over his desk. Penelope looked over at him as Spencer and JJ walked into the bullpen.</p><p>"Now that Emily and Hotch are officially gone for their trip to New York, I can finally spill the beans. I think Hotch is up to something," Penelope said and glanced back and forth between the three agents.</p><p>"Up to something?" Spencer asked and raised his eyebrows. "I thought they were just going up to New York just to see Sean?"</p><p>"I smell something else in the air," Penelope said and crossed her legs as she sat back.</p><p>"Like a proposal?" JJ asked in disbelief. The rest of them all glanced up at her. Penelope knew that look. That look wasn't good. JJ was getting into her head about something.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>JJ grabbed her phone and saw the contact. "Hey."</p><p>"Hey, you on your way home? I made some spicy chicken pasta. Henry is already asking for you," Will said and chuckled. JJ bit her lip as she turned her back to the agents.</p><p>"Yeah, uh, I'll be home in a bit. Thanks for making dinner," JJ said before hanging up the phone. She turned back around and joined mid-conversation.</p><p>"And he came into my office asking if he should get silver or gold jewelry for Emily. Now, I know Emily doesn't like silver jewelry. The only silver jewelry she wears daily is the charm bracelet JJ got her for her birthday last year. But it sounded pretty fishy," Penelope said and put her hands up in surrender. She chuckled and looked over at JJ. "You going to head out?"</p><p>"Yeah, uh, mom duty calls. Will is already getting anxious that I'm not home," JJ said and pursed her lips. She grabbed her bag and sighed. "I'll see you guys later."</p><p>JJ found herself mindlessly heading towards the garage. She got into her car and sat back in her seat—the woman taking a deep breath before starting the car. JJ didn't remember pulling out of the parking lot or going into the main road she takes home.</p><p>Emily getting married?</p><p>"You are quite a romancer, JJ," Emily said and smiled widely. The blonde woman shrugged and watched Emily set the rose down gently next to her. "This almost feels like a date."</p><p>"We can call it that," JJ said and pursed her lips. Emily and her locked eyes. JJ could physically see the pink coming up on Emily's cheeks.</p><p>"Okay, then I get the next date," Emily said and grabbed her fork.</p><p>JJ's knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering wheel. Memories of Emily and her flooded her mind. She was selfish at that moment to wish her and Aaron shouldn't get married.</p><p>Truthfully, she was jealous. Aaron got what, deep down, she wanted. JJ messed up on her end, and now she had a price to pay. And that price included Emily going off and the possibility of her getting to someone else.</p><p>JJ's heart broke with the idea of her having to sit back and watch as Emily says yes to Aaron at the alter. The question next is: would she be courageous enough to stop the wedding?</p><p>JJ found herself pulling into her house. She and Will had rented a place now that Henry was born. They didn't want to disturb the apartment complex JJ lived in with loud crying every day from the newborn.</p><p>The blonde woman walked into the house and saw Will standing there in the kitchen. He was feeding Henry plain pasta and some non-spicy chicken.</p><p>"Mama!" Henry yelled as he saw JJ walk through the door. JJ dropped her things and walked up to the little boy in his chair.</p><p>"Mmm, my baby," JJ said and peppered kisses all along his cheeks. "I missed you!"</p><p>Henry was just giggling as JJ finally broke away from him. She walked up to Will and smiled. He looked exhausted. She placed her hands gently on his face and kissed him. His hands dropping to her waist.</p><p>"I missed you," Will mumbled against her lips. The two pulled away from the other and smiled.</p><p>"I missed you too," JJ said and chuckled as Henry was kicking at his chair next to them, obviously wanting the attention of the two. "I think someone needs to be given a bath? Right?"</p><p>JJ unbuckled Henry from his seat before picking him up and walking the two into his bedroom. Will just sat back in the kitchen and admired the view of JJ. He was so in love with JJ; it was hurting his heart from beating so fast. The man just chuckled and served him and JJ a plate, ready for when she would come back and have dinner with him.</p><p>Meanwhile, in New York. Aaron and Emily had landed and were on their way to the hotel. The two checked in, and Emily almost passed out from exhaustion on the bed. Aaron chuckled as he pulled her up.</p><p>"Come on, we have dinner reservations at the Empire State building," Aaron said and wrapped his arms sternly around Emily so she wouldn't fall back.</p><p>"Is that why you wanted me to bring my good heels?" Emily asked and raised an eyebrow. Aaron chuckled as he led the woman to the bathroom.</p><p>"I want to have dinner at a good spot in New York before we see Sean tomorrow," Aaron said and slipped off his t-shirt. Emily's eyes falling to his broad shoulders and nice back. If there was one thing she liked, it was a good back. The man grabbed his luggage and pulled out an all-black suit, minus the tie.</p><p>Emily, who was finished tossing her hair and fixing her makeup, grabbed her bag and pulled out an off-the-shoulder black tight dress with a coat to keep her warm. She paired it with her Louis Vuitton heels Aaron had gotten her last year for her birthday.</p><p>The two were soon off in a taxi cab on their way to the Empire State building. Both got out and thanked the taxi driver before heading up to the restaurant inside the building. Aaron and Emily were sat down in a booth, drinking expensive wine. Both ordered a starter. Emily ordered the jumbo shrimp, while Aaron ordered the oysters.</p><p>"You're lucky I love you. You're going to have oyster breath," Emily said and smiled as Hotch picked up an oyster. Emily sighed and picked one up too before the two locked eyes as they ate it. Emily's face scrunching up. "You never get used to the texture."</p><p>"No, you don't," Aaron said as he coughed into his napkin. The two laughing as Aaron shook his head of the odd taste. Whatever it was seasoned with, it was strong enough almost to kill him.</p><p>"I'm glad we finally got around to coming. It's just too bad Jack couldn't come with us," Emily said and ran her finger around her wine glass. Aaron nodded.</p><p>"Well, he's grounded at Haley's. And one of our agreements was that discipline is transferred over from one house to the other," Aaron said and shook his head. "But it is nice for the two of us to get away with no responsibilities."</p><p>"To no responsibilities for the next forty-eight hours," Emily said and raised her glass. Aaron raised his as the two clinked their glasses together. Soon after, the waiter came and took the two's orders.</p><p>"I'll have the Filet Mignon with potatoes. Thank you," Aaron said and handed the man his menu. The waiter turned towards Emily.</p><p>"The same, thank you very much," Emily said with a smile. Just as the two were about to slip back into the conversation, Aaron's phone started to ring. He pursed his lips as he answered it.</p><p>"Section Chief Strauss," Aaron said and made eye contact with Emily. The raven-haired woman rolled her eyes as she sat back. "What can I do for you?"</p><p>"I need you to find your way back to Quantico as soon as you can," Erin said and sat back in her seat. "I'm sorry for interrupting your vacation with Agent Prentiss, but you must understand that this is urgent."</p><p>"May I know what it's about?" Aaron asked and furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"The director called. He's looking to speak to me directly about a promotion. If I do take it, then you'd be next in line for my current position," Erin said and smiled to herself. "I was hoping to discuss this more in the office. Hopefully by coming in tomorrow morning after I meet with the director."</p><p>"We will leave in about two hours," Aaron said and sighed softly. He didn't say anything else as he hung up the phone.</p><p>"So much for no responsibilities for forty-eight hours," Emily said and shook her head. "What did she want? Did she want your soul?"</p><p>"Something like that," Aaron said and grabbed a shrimp from Emily's plate. The woman raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"You're keeping something from me," Emily said and squinted her eyes as she grabbed her wine glass. She took a sip as Hotch happily ate the shrimp in his hand.</p><p>"How would you feel about being Unit Chief?" Aaron asked. Emily nearly choked on the wine that was still in her throat. She coughed loudly and shielded her mouth. "That bad?"</p><p>"Babe, what are you talking about?" Emily asked as her eyes reading disbelief. "Is Strauss kicking you out? Do you need me to talk to her?"</p><p>"She's getting a promotion. Well, it's in the works. If it goes through, I'd take her current position. I would want you, as Unit Chief," Aaron said and reached across the table and grabbed the woman's hand. Emily's eyes widened.</p><p>"Why me? Why not Rossi? He's been there longer. Or Morgan," Emily said and shook her head. "I mean, I'd love the job. But I don't want people thinking I—"</p><p>"You were handed the job?" Aaron asked and raised an eyebrow. "Em, you have a great background. I think you're the most qualified to run the BAU. I'd say that even if I wasn't your boyfriend."</p><p>"My previous desk job was fascinating," Emily joked and grabbed a shrimp from the plate in front of her.</p><p>"I'm being serious," Aaron said with a smile. "We'll talk more about this tomorrow morning. Strauss wants to meet with me tomorrow after she either finds out she got the job or not."</p><p>Just in time, the waiter had set down the two's food in front of them. They both thanked him before diving into the food. This, by far, was the best steak that the both of them had ever had. As expensive as it was, Aaron made sure to note that Emily liked the restaurant. With their jobs, they hardly had time to have romantic dates. Might as well just start taking notes of which restaurants to go to.</p><p>The two of them got a dessert each. Aaron settled on a chocolate cake with ice cream. Emily got something called a macadamia nut tart. They were both happy with their selections as they took turns wiping the other clean of whip cream and ice cream on their faces.</p><p>After everything was cleaned off their plates, Aaron took care of the bill before the two rode the elevator up to the top floor. Emily and Aaron walked out and looked over the view of New York.</p><p>The man smiled as he pulled out his phone and pointed it towards Emily. The woman was caught off guard, smiling as the flash took over her vision. "Hey!"</p><p>"You look great," Aaron said and smiled. The man flipped the camera and snapped a picture of the two of them. Emily kissed his cheek as he snapped another picture.</p><p>"I have a feeling by the time we're seventy, you're going to have at least seventeen picture albums filled with just us," Emily said and chuckled.</p><p>"You know I love taking pictures. I just forgot my polaroid," Aaron said and wrapped his arms around Emily as the two looked out to the lights of the busy city. Her head rested right against his chest. Her eyes shut as she stood in peace of his arms wrapped around her.</p><p>"Thank God we came during the winter. I hate the heat," Emily said and chuckled. Aaron nodded his head. "But I can still profile you, Aaron Hotchner. There's another reason you brought me here. And I think I know why."</p><p>"Okay, you caught me. I really brought you here for one thing, as an early anniversary present. It's been about two years since we started dating, and I just wanted to do something special," Aaron said as the two of them took in the crisp cold New York air. It was January, and the city was getting colder as the days went on. Thankfully, they missed the snow storm the city saw earlier. "Especially since we spent the last one on a bridge in Seattle watching a man fling himself off the edge."</p><p>"We have such romantic jobs," Emily said jokingly.</p><p>"Mutilated bodies and kidnappings. The most romantic," Aaron said sarcastically.</p><p>"Well, thank you for bringing me. I'm sorry it has to be cut short by Strauss," Emily said and smiled as the man kissed her sweetly on the head. "I love New York. I just wish I could visit more often."</p><p>"Maybe we can," Aaron said and shrugged his shoulders. "We can try to come up here maybe once a month. I'm sure my brother wouldn't mind having company for two days."</p><p>"Did you forget our jobs?" Emily asked and looked up at Aaron. The man nodding his head in remembrance. "Sometimes I just wish all the bad guys could just take a year off. It gives us a chance to stop and smell the roses."</p><p>"I don't think there's ever going to be a time like that, sadly," Aaron said and sighed. "I don't think there's even such a thing as right timing. We have to make it on our own."</p><p>"Promise me something?" Emily asked and kept her eyes to the city lights. Aaron hummed as they both kept close to the other. "If you do get that shiny new job, that you and I will have dinners as often as we can. I'll even pack you lunch if that means I can see you with some food in your stomach."</p><p>"I promise," Aaron said and kissed her head. "Everything seems to be going good right now."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Emily asked and turned in Hotch's arms.</p><p>"With you, right now. I'm perfectly content with my life. I didn't know what it was like to be truly and unconditionally loved by someone until you came along. And for that, I'm grateful," Aaron said and held the woman's hand. "I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you in it. And that's something I don't ever want to find out."</p><p>"Where are you going with this?" Emily asked and tilted her head as her curious eyes dug holes into Hotch's.</p><p>"You make me a better person. You teach me how to be kinder, more gentle, more loving. And I wish I could pay you back for those lessons," Aaron said as he pulled away from her. "So I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. If you'll have me."</p><p>Emily furrowed her eyebrows. Aaron lowered himself down onto one knee in front of Emily. The woman's jaw-dropping as he pulled out the gold diamond engagement ring. He smiled softly at her. Her hands shooting up to her mouth as tears filled her eyes.</p><p>"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss. I'm so in love with you, and nothing in this world can ever change that. I want to spend the rest of this life with you and only you. I want burnt eggs in the morning, and late-night bourbon talks on the couch. I want movie nights and baking weekends with Jack. I want every part of yourself that you have to offer. And I'm willing to give myself fully to you in return. I love you. Will you marry me?" Aaron asked. Emily bursted into tears as she nodded her head.</p><p>"Yes," she said softly as Aaron stood up and lifted the woman into his arms. The bystanders cheering as the two kissed passionately.</p><p>"Congratulations!" one woman yelled. The crowd of ten people all clapped as Aaron slipped the ring onto Emily's finger.</p><p>"It looks like you are the marrying type after all," Aaron said and smiled widely.</p><p>"You have to work on your poker face," Emily mumbled before kissing the man again. Both smiled into the kiss.</p><p>Aaron had gotten a stranger to take a picture of the two. Emily was showing off her engagement ring in the photos. Both thanked the woman before making their way down the building.</p><p>It was official. Aaron Hotchner did the unthinkable. Emily Prentiss was now a bride-to-be.</p><p>The two found themselves back at the hotel, stumbling through the hallways as the alcohol was semi-affecting the both of them. Aaron grabbed Emily's face and brought the woman into a kiss. Both crashing against the door of their hotel room as they kissed.</p><p>"I love you, future Emily Elizabeth Hotchner," Aaron said and smiled widely at the name.</p><p>"I love you, my future husband," Emily said against his lips. Emily chuckled and kissed the man passionately as the two stumbled into their hotel room. Aaron lifted Emily into his arms and pushed the two of them into the nearest wall as they kissed. Emily's fingers raking through his hair as Aaron walked the two to the large queen mattress in the middle of the room. "I thought we have to leave in an hour."</p><p>"Just a quick round," Aaron said and trailed kisses down to Emily's neck. The woman smiled as she pulled him closer to her. "After I meet with Strauss, I'll bring over a bottle of champagne, and you and I will stay in bed together the rest of the day with our phones off."</p><p>"We better," Emily said and balled her hands in his suit jacket, pulling him up to her lips. The two kissed frantically as Emily's hands trailed down to his belt. She undid it quickly as the man practically tore off the lace thong that barely covered her. Emily's hands fumbled with his zipper and pants buttons before eventually getting them.</p><p>Aaron slowly pushed himself into Emily. The woman's back arching off the bed as moans spilled from her lips. She wrapped her legs around the man and pulled him in as deep as he could go. Both kissing the other as Emily adjusted to the feeling. Soon enough, she nodded her head, and Aaron started to move his hips.</p><p>Emily tugged off the man's suit jacket. Aaron threw his coat behind him and didn't break away from Emily. The woman wrapped her hands around him to pull him in closer. The two broke away for air before his pace started to get faster. Emily had managed to flip the two over and straddled the man. Aaron was about to sit up when Emily placed her hand down on his chest and pushed him back down into the mattress.</p><p>"You stay right there," Emily said softly as she leaned down and kissed the man gently. She started to move her hips as her hand snaked down to her clit. Aaron's hand moved to grip her hips when Emily grabbed both his hands. "You're not listening."</p><p>The man had a smug look on his face as he rested his hands behind his head. Emily was looking up at him through his eyelashes. "Good."</p><p>The woman continued her pace. Her body was practically begging for her to strip out of her dress, but realistically, they were already late. Aaron's abdomen tightened as Emily's hand made tight circles on her clit. Moans filling the empty hotel room.</p><p>"Emily," Aaron grunted and shut his eyes. The woman immediately getting the motivation to finish this. She kept her pace steady as she bounced on top of Aaron. He couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed Emily with one arm and backed the two of them up to the nearest wall. "I can't take it anymore."</p><p>Emily smiled as he fastened the pace. The woman's mouth directly against his ear as moans along with his name spilled out. The other hand of his came up and wrapped firmly around her throat. Emily smiled as she took his earlobe between her teeth.</p><p>"Shit!" Emily moaned as her head tilted back against the wall. Aaron bit down right on her shoulder, making Emily lose it. She arched her back as she came moaning the man's name. Aaron wasn't far behind her as he stilled and came into Emily. The two panting for air for a second before Aaron set the woman down. Her legs were trembling as she tried to walk.</p><p>"You'll need a wheelchair for the rest of the weekend," Aaron said with a smug grin. Emily swatted his arm, making him laugh.</p><p>The two, running significantly behind schedule, managed to pack everything up and make their way out of the hotel. Thankfully, they made it to the airport just in time and made it on a flight back to D.C. It wasn't long until the two lovers made their way to Emily's apartment.</p><p>"Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?" Aaron asked and furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"Well, on the plane, I was looking into bigger apartments. We'll need more room than my current, and I don't think yours would be enough space for the three of us," Emily said and leaned over, kissing the man softly on the cheek as he dropped her off. "Be careful with Strauss. Let me know when the meeting is over."</p><p>"Hey," Aaron said and placed his hand on Emily's cheek. The man kissing her passionately. The kiss made Emily blush as she pulled away slightly. "You weren't slipping out of this car without me giving you a proper kiss."</p><p>"We kiss one more time like that; I'm not getting out of this car," Emily said against his lips. The woman giving him a quick kiss before stepping out of the car. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too. Goodnight, beautiful," Aaron said as he watched Emily wave one more time at him before disappearing into her apartment complex.</p><p>That's my fiancé. Good job, Aaron.</p><p>The man smiled to himself as he started his car again and drove out of the parking lot. The ride home came and went. Aaron didn't even remember half of the drive.</p><p>Aaron walked into the apartment. He tossed his keys down on the table. Hotch sighed heavily as he walked in. Now, he also needed to start looking into a new apartment for Emily and him. He walked over to the liquor table he had and poured himself a drink.</p><p>He felt good. Life for Aaron Hotchner was going well. But, you know what they say. What goes up. It must also come back down.</p><p>He heard the safety of a gun being taken off from behind him. He stopped in his tracks and slowly set down the glass in his hands.</p><p>Aaron turned and stared face to face with the gun. Aaron recognized the mask the person wore almost immediately. The man clenched his jaw.</p><p>"We should have made a deal."</p><p>Penelope: "There is no good day or bad day, only good or bad actions." Amit Kalantri.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>in the next chapter is a story arch that i would have LOVED to see and it makes sense in my head so😗</p><p>but good news! hotchniss is engaged! so have a sprinkle of good in all the bad that's about to happen🥰</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IM so mad this cross over never happened it would have been so GOOD so i took matters into my own hands 😙☝🏼</p><p>also we love savior complex emily👀</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, mentions of violence, mentions of stabbing <br/>word count: 4730</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron: "I guess what scares me the most now is the thought that I won't be able to protect you." Julia Hoban.</p><p>"What do you want?" Aaron asked and clenched his jaw. George tilted his head to the side and chuckled underneath his mask.</p><p>"Where's that smile, Hotchner? That brunette woman makes you smile," George taunted. "Congratulations on your engagement, by the way."</p><p>"You touch her, I swear to God I'll kill you," Aaron said through his teeth. Foyet smiled.</p><p>"Is that a threat?" George asked and shot the gun. The bullet landed centimeters away from Aaron's head. The man didn't even flinch as the bullet went into the wall. "Was this part of my original profile? You can't show me fear?"</p><p>"If you can't see fear, maybe it's because I'm not afraid of you," Aaron said and took a step forward.</p><p>"You say that like you mean it," Foyet said as he tilted his head slightly. "Deep down, I know you are. You'll leave behind that fiancé and kid of yours."</p><p>"Are you here to kill me? Or are you here to play games?" Aaron asked, making Foyet grip the gun tighter.</p><p>"We have unfinished business," Foyet said and took off his mask. The second he did, Aaron threw a punch. Foyet dodged the second punch and slammed the gun's barrel into Hotch's head, sending him to the ground. He was about to get up and reach for his weapon, but Foyet kicked him right in the nose. He fell back with a groan.</p><p>Aaron tried to get up again, but George stood over him and hit him with the gun. He fell back down onto the floor as his nose started to bleed.</p><p>"Aaron Hotchner. You just had to tell the local police department it was me. You forced me to move underground," George said and unzipped his jacket. Aaron was about to get up again, but Foyet plunged a knife right into his abdomen. Aaron groaned in pain as his vision got fuzzy. "We had a good thing going, and you ruined it."</p><p>He slowly took out the knife. The feeling of blood seep out of him, kicked in his fight or flight reactions. He tried to fight off Foyet, but the man just plunged the knife into his abdomen again, creating a new wound. "You...kill me...Emily will kill you."</p><p>"Shhh. You listen very carefully. You don't want your family to pay for your mistakes, do you?" George asked and smiled cynically at Aaron. Aaron shook his head slightly. Foyet patted the man's face. "Good. Let's get started."</p><p>Emily woke up and stretched her body out. She smiled as she went about her day. She was making herself breakfast and had her laptop open. Emily scrolled mindlessly through the ads of different apartments.</p><p>One finally caught her eye. A three-bedroom, two-story apartment. She favorited it before she turned and continued cooking her breakfast. She glanced over at the clock. It was almost noon. Her body was just tired.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>She grabbed her phone and answered it without looking. "Hello?"</p><p>"Agent Prentiss?" Strauss said and took off her glasses. Emily rolled her eyes. It was much too early to deal with her.</p><p>"Yes, ma'am?" Emily asked and poured herself coffee.</p><p>"I thought I told you and Aaron Hotchner to fly in last night. I needed to have a meeting with him this morning," Erin said and sat back in her seat. Emily furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"Ma'am, we're back in Washington. I'm currently in my apartment. Aaron went back to his apartment last night," Emily said and leaned against the counter. She and Strauss sat in uncomfortable silence.</p><p>"I haven't heard from him. I was calling to see if you have," Strauss said and clenched her jaw slightly.</p><p>"I can try to call him. I'll head over to his apartment if I can't reach him," Emily said and took a sip of her coffee.</p><p>"Call me back if you hear from him," Erin said and hung up the phone. Emily sighed before dialing Hotch. It went straight to voicemail.</p><p>"Hey, honey. Strauss said she's been trying to get a hold of you. She said you missed your meeting. I'm on my way over there. Call me if you get this message. I love you."</p><p>Emily hung up the phone and immediately raced to get ready. She grabbed her bag and her keys before heading out the door. In a matter of what felt like seconds, Emily found herself standing in front of Aaron's apartment. She knocked twice.</p><p>"Aaron?" Emily said as she knocked on the door. "Babe! It's me!"</p><p>The woman reached into her bag and grabbed the spare key. She placed the key into the keyhole and turned it. Emily furrowed her eyebrows as it didn't unlock. The door was opened. Her jaw dropped slightly as she drew her weapon. Mentally, she counted to three before she kicked in the door with her gun drawn. She did a quick glance around and didn't see anything out of the ordinary.</p><p>She walked up to the wall dividing the living room from the kitchen. That's when Emily saw the large pool of blood. Her eyes widened.</p><p>Finish searching the house, Emily.</p><p>The woman turned quickly behind the wall in case of a surprise attack. She walked as quietly as she could through the rest of the apartment.</p><p>Nothing was here. Not even Aaron.</p><p>She grabbed her phone and dialed the first person she could think of. "JJ?"</p><p>"Yeah?" JJ asked as she thanked Morgan quietly for the coffee he handed her. "What's up?"</p><p>"Hotch is gone," Emily said and ran a hand down her face. JJ tilted her head in confusion.</p><p>"What do you mean by gone? I thought you guys were in New—"</p><p>"There's a big pool of blood in the apartment, JJ!" Emily snapped and scrunched up her face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just get Strauss and everyone here to his apartment. I think someone took him. His car keys and phone are still here."</p><p>"Okay, okay. I'm on my way now," JJ said and waved down the rest of the team. They all didn't question it as JJ walked towards the elevator. She caught them all up as she rode the elevator up to Strauss's office.</p><p>Emily paced back and forth in the apartment. Studying everything as it is. She saw glass filled with bourbon. It was just the amount Hotch drinks typically. Tears filled her eyes as the woman glanced over at the bouquet at the entrance of the apartment. They were of irises and daisies. They were gorgeous.</p><p>Soon, Hotch's apartment filled with forensic evidence teams and the members of her team.</p><p>"Emily!" JJ said and wrapped her arms around the woman. She pulled away and placed a hand on Emily's face. "Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"</p><p>"I'm fine. I just need to find him," Emily said and placed her hand on JJ's arm. The blonde woman catching the new ring on her finger. She pushed aside the thoughts to concentrate on the current situation at hand.</p><p>"He didn't say anything to you?" Derek asked as he and Spencer both put on their pairs of gloves. Emily shook her head.</p><p>"We have to find him. Please, help me find him," Emily said just above a whisper as she shut her eyes.</p><p>"We'll find him. But we need your eyes. You're in and out of here more often than any of us. Does anything look out of place to you?" JJ asked and grabbed a pair of gloves from her pockets. Emily shook her head.</p><p>"I've been over it all already. Nothing is out of place," Emily said and tried to think of something, anything that would give itself away.</p><p>"Let's start looking deeper," Spencer said and smiled encouragingly at Emily. She nodded as the four of them started to look through the apartment.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Come in!" Erin shouted and took off her glasses. Rossi walked into the office and had a file in his hand.</p><p>"We think we know who did this," Rossi said and placed the file down on her desk. Erin looked down at the file and gulped.</p><p>George Foyet.</p><p>"Go alert the team. I'll talk to the director to come up with a strategy if we find George Foyet. Let's hope he kept Aaron alive," Erin said and grabbed the phone. Rossi nodded as he walked out of the office. He found himself in Penelope's lair with the blonde woman already typing away. Penelope dialed Emily and patiently waited for the ticking woman to answer.</p><p>"Prentiss," Emily said and clenched her jaw.</p><p>"Hey, so Rossi and I were looking, and we think we may know who's behind this," Penelope said and pursed her lips. Morgan, Spencer, and JJ all stood next to her. "His name is George Foyet."</p><p>"The reaper," Spencer said and furrowed his eyebrows. "Before you joined the team, Hotch had gone public saying that George Foyet was the reaper. Boston PD went to arrest him, and they couldn't find him. Oddly enough, all this time, he managed to fool the local police and the FBI into thinking that he was just a victim of the reaper. He managed to kill his girlfriend, getaway, and make a phone call to the police saying two people had been killed. He then went back and repeatedly stabbed himself to make it seem like he was a victim."</p><p>"I remember hearing the interview of him. He seemed fragile, almost broken. Crazy son of a bitch," Emily said and clenched her jaw. "Thanks, guys."</p><p>She took a deep breath before her phone started to ring again.</p><p>"Go for Prentiss," Emily said and turned her head to answer the phone. The team all worried as Emily turned her head back around at the man's chuckling.</p><p>"Agent Emily Prentiss," George said and chuckled. Emily placed the phone on speaker. "Lover of my friend, Aaron Hotchner. I have to say, the two of you together make my lonely little heart swell. Congratulations on your engagement."</p><p>"Where is he?" Emily asked, anger building up in her eyes. She was about to snap as she heard him laughing.</p><p>"Did you like my gift? I know you love flowers. Aaron had it written in that little planner of his," George said. Emily glanced over at the bouquet. She had just assumed Hotch forgot the flowers for last night. JJ looked down at the planner in her hands. A page was torn out.</p><p>"What did you do to him?" Emily asked through her teeth. Derek held a hand out to comfort her, but the way Emily glared at him made him retract it immediately. The woman was in a world full of rage.</p><p>"He must mean a lot to you by the crowd outside," he said and chuckled. Derek and Reid sprang into action and ran out the door of the apartment. Both men drew their guns as they scanned the crowd of FBI personnel. "Oh, there they are. Derek Morgan, beefcake of the BAU. And Doctor Spencer Reid, formal idiot genius of the FBI."</p><p>"You tell me where he is, or I swear to God I'll put a bullet between your eyes myself," Emily hissed. JJ gulped. She had never seen this side of Emily before. She didn't want to test the theory that Emily was bluffing.</p><p>"Oh, a flare. I like you a lot better than Haley. She was a bore. But it was fun to watch their marriage crumble. You, however, provide a well-needed spark in young Aaron Hotchner. And you also have a good as—"</p><p>"Where is he, you son of a bitch!" Emily yelled. The entire forensic team jumping at the woman's yell. They were all fearful of her at that moment.</p><p>"I didn't spend years tampering with my own body not to perfect my work. Now please, if you want my help. I'll need you to be alone. Don't even bother lying. I have eyes on you," George said and smiled. Emily clenched her jaw before going into Aaron's bedroom. She shut the door behind her.</p><p>"Now what?" Emily asked sternly.</p><p>"Hello, Lauren."</p><p>Emily instantly felt sick to her stomach. Memories of the man came crashing over her. Emily shut her eyes.</p><p>"You fucking son of a bitch," Emily said just above a whisper.</p><p>"I've missed you too. It's good to hear your voice again. It's almost comical how George and I found each other. Both of us spilling sob stories at the bar in Boston two weeks ago. You know which one. And then the both of us realized something," Ian said and glanced over at George. "He has a grudge against Aaron Hotchner. And I have a grudge against his fiancé, who had my son killed. And both of us want very, very painful deaths for the both of you."</p><p>"I'll find you. I have the best team in the FBI looking for you, and they'll send you back to that shithole of a prison," Emily said through her teeth.</p><p>"You tell them anything about me. I'll kill a member of your team. Will it be the interesting character of Penelope Garcia? Or maybe even Jennifer Jareau. You have a soft spot for blondes. Or that old man, David Rossi," Ian said and laughed. "Have a little faith. I'll see you soon."</p><p>The call was disconnected. Emily took a deep breath before throwing her phone against the wall. The machine shattering into pieces. Outside, JJ jumped at the crash. She stood a reasonable distance from the door as Emily walked out.</p><p>"Where's the nearest religious named hospital?" Emily asked. The forensics team all looking around.</p><p>"There's St. Matthew's hospital. It's only a mile-ish away," a man said as Emily shut her eyes. She grabbed her bag and JJ before leaving. Derek and Spencer both didn't question as the two women ran out of the room and simply followed them to the car.</p><p>The car ride was rushed as Derek drove as fast as he could to St. Matthew's hospital. Emily was dead silent the entire car ride there. Everyone else in the car was too afraid to say anything to the woman.</p><p>They all got out of the car, and Emily rushed to the nurse's desk. "Excuse me. I'm SSA Emily Prentiss. I'm looking for SSA Aaron Hotchner. Was he admitted here?"</p><p>"I'm sorry, ma'am. There's nobody under that name in the system. He might have been checked into another hospital," the woman said and shook her head. Emily shut her eyes as tears threatened to leave.</p><p>"Try John Does. He would have come into the emergency room alone. He would have been stabbed multiple times in the abdomen. White. Around six-foot," Derek said and placed his hand on Emily's arm. The woman settled at the touch. She needed to calm down.</p><p>"Darlene, doesn't that sound like the man who fell in here?" the nurse asked the woman sitting beside her.</p><p>"Yeah, he was mumbling. He needed help. He got on hand on a cart, but one of the nurses didn't lock the wheels, so he fell. He had blood all over him. I think he was wearing an all-black suit," Darlene had said and nodded her head. "Yeah, he was white. Had a beard."</p><p>"That's him," Emily said and sighed softly. "Where is he? I need to see him."</p><p>JJ placed her hand on Emily's back. Emily's hands were subconsciously playing with her engagement ring. The nurse typed away at her computer.</p><p>"He's up on the fourth floor. Room twenty-six," the nurse said. Emily shouted a thank you as she took off running. She didn't even wait for the elevator. The woman and her team members ran up the stairs and finally made it to the fourth floor.</p><p>A nurse was in there taking his vitals. His eyes flickered over to the woman running to him.</p><p>"Aaron!" Emily said as she ran to him into the hospital room. She had tears in her eyes.</p><p>"Emily," he said weakly. Aaron sat up as best as he could as the woman wrapped her arms around him. Tears were falling freely from her eyes. The rest of the team was standing back and taking in the sight of the two of them. "I'm okay. I'm okay."</p><p>"You scared me," Emily said softly. She pulled away from him but kept her hand in his.</p><p>"Are you his wife?" the nurse asked.</p><p>"I'm his fiancé," Emily said and glanced over at the three team members. They all had smiles on their faces.</p><p>"Well, he's fortunate. All the stab wounds missed major arteries and veins—even organs. I'm honestly amazed that he's still alive. He just got out of surgery and just woke up. I would recommend him being bed-bound for the rest of the day. You should feel a little tired because of the drugs but other than that; you should be able to go home either tomorrow or the day after," the nurse said and smiled as she walked out. The team all nodded their heads as she walked by.</p><p>Hotch tilted his head back and sighed heavily. Flashes of what happened coming back to him. The heart rate monitor was going up.</p><p>"Aaron? Aaron?" Emily called out and placed her hand on his chest. He opened his eyes, and instead of Foyet, he saw Emily. His heart rate was going back down.</p><p>"What did he take?" Aaron asked softly. The four of them all looked towards each other. "The reaper. He always leaves something and takes something."</p><p>"We went through your whole apartment. The only thing he left was flowers for me," Emily said and shook her head.</p><p>"Flowers?" Aaron asked and furrowed his eyebrows. His mind was retracing his steps as he walked into the apartment. "There weren't any flowers when I got home."</p><p>"Okay, so he left them there later," JJ said and crossed her arms. Hotch shook his head.</p><p>Aaron's eyes shut as the sound of footsteps echoed in his mind. "What did he take?"</p><p>"There was a page in your planner that ripped out. I was about to tell you guys, but then he had called Prentiss. Uh, I think it was in the B-section," JJ said and looked around at the four people staring at her. Aaron's heart rate was picking up.</p><p>"My bag. Give me my bag," Aaron said. Emily let go of his hand and grabbed the bag. She grabbed his bloody shirt and shut her eyes. She couldn't even look at the shirt without her blood boiling. Aaron grabbed his wallet and opened it. A picture of Jack and Haley were inside. The man shut his eyes as he tilted his head back. "Haley's maiden name is Brooks. I never put her under Hotchner even when we were married in case it got into the wrong hands."</p><p>"Foyet knew that. He said to me that it was fun to watch your marriage crumble," Emily said and shook her head. "He said he eyes on me when I went into your bedroom to talk to him alone. He has cameras inside the apartment."</p><p>"He's been stalking you. Most likely from afar until his anger was so pent up that it made him break into the apartment," Reid said and pursed his lips. "I'll call Haley. We need to get them over here now."</p><p>"I'll drive to go pick her up," Derek said and hit the man's arm as the two walked out.</p><p>"JJ? Can I borrow your phone? I smashed mine back at the apartment," Emily said softly. JJ handed her the phone before Emily walked out. She got herself away from the team, making sure they couldn't hear her. She dialed the number.</p><p>"Hello?" Tom asked as he picked up the phone.</p><p>"Code Bravo. Twenty-two hundred. Two-four-five-three," Emily said and shut her eyes. She didn't say anything else as she hung up the phone. Tom's heart dropped as he set his phone down. He never wanted this day to come. Emily deleted the call on the log before walking back to them. She handed JJ back to her phone and said a small thank you to her.</p><p>Emily took her place right next to Hotch and held his hand as she sat next to him. "You should go back to the apartment. They could use your eyes there."</p><p>"No way, I'm not leaving you here alone," Emily said and shook her head as Aaron glanced over at JJ for help. The blonde woman put her hands up in surrender as Emily held her ground. "She knows better than to mess with me."</p><p>Some time had passed, and soon enough, Haley walked into the hospital room. "Aaron? What happened? Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine. I just needed to make sure the two of you are safe," Aaron said as Emily and JJ excused themselves. Haley sighed as she watched the two leave. "You and Jack have to be put into protective custody."</p><p>"What?" Haley asked and furrowed her eyebrows. "That's not happening. I just got a job in the city, a good one. Jack just started a new grade. He is already making friends. We have a life already."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Aaron said and kept his eyes to the floor. Haley crossed her arms and clenched her jaw. "Do you remember George Foyet?"</p><p>"You mean that case that you obsessed over?" Haley snapped back. She shut her eyes and calmed herself down. "Yes, I remember."</p><p>"He's back. Haley, he nearly killed me. Now I know you want to keep a normal life. I know you said you were done with this life after we signed the divorce papers, but if you stay out there alone, I cannot protect the both of you," Aaron said and locked eyes with the woman. "I'll find him. And I promise you I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. But I can't just sit back and watch you and Jack try to continue with life normally."</p><p>Haley kept her eyes to the floor before she glanced back up at him. "He wants to see you. You both need to say your goodbyes."</p><p>Aaron nodded and adjusted himself in his bed. The man sat back as Haley nodded to Emily, who has Jack in her arms. Emily walked back into the room and placed Jack on the bed with Aaron.</p><p>"Hey buddy," Aaron said softly as Jack fidgeted with his fingers.</p><p>"Are you okay?" the little boy asked softly.</p><p>"Yeah. I'm okay," Aaron said and smiled as he ruffled his son's hair. "Listen, Jack. You and mom are going to take a trip. Just like how Emmy and I do for work. Okay?"</p><p>"Why?" Jack asked and jutted his lip out. "I want to stay with you and Emmy."</p><p>"It won't be for long. Okay?" Aaron said and ducked his head down to lock eyes with Jack. "I promise."</p><p>"Okay," Jack said sadly and leaned his head into his dad's arm. Aaron smiled and rubbed his son's back.</p><p>"Say bye to daddy, Jack," Haley said and wiped her tears. The young boy wrapping his arms around his dad. Both were shutting their eyes as they treasured this last hug.</p><p>"Bye, daddy," Jack said softly. Aaron nearly bursting into tears. Jack finally broke away and got off of the bed. He looked directly up to Emily. She smiled as she picked him up.</p><p>"Hey buddy," Emily said as Jack wrapped his arms tightly around her neck. The woman placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder as she hugged him tightly. She didn't know if this would be the last time she'd be able to hold him. Jack finally pulled away from Emily and tilted his head as he saw the tears in his eyes.</p><p>"Why are you sad?" Jack asked softly. His tiny hand was wiping Emily's tear away. The woman chuckled through her tears.</p><p>"I'm just going to miss you so much," Emily said and poked at the little boy's stomach. She took in one final look at Jack. "You take care of your mom for us, okay?"</p><p>"I promise," Jack said and stuck out his pinky. Emily smiled as she did the same and locked their pinkies together. Both leaned in and kissed their hands. Haley and Aaron's hearts were breaking at the gesture. "You protect daddy."</p><p>"I promise to protect your daddy," Emily said and nodded her head. She leaned in and kissed the boy sweetly on his cheek. "Hey. I love you. And I'll see you soon, okay?"</p><p>"I love you too," Jack said as Emily placed him down. Haley reached her hand out for him as they both waved goodbye to the agents in the room. Emily and Aaron both watching as they left with the witness protection agent.</p><p>Hours had passed as the two were still in the hospital. Aaron had finally gone to sleep because of the drugs administered. It was the best. Either he's awake and overthinking about Foyet or would find himself about to break as the goodbye to Jack replayed in his head. Sleep was the better of the three options.</p><p>JJ came back and was keeping Emily company. The woman was looking over the files of the Foyet case. JJ knew better than anyone that Emily wouldn't rest until the team solved this case.</p><p>"Hey, Garcia and Derek should be coming in for the next shift. Are you hungry?" JJ asked and placed her hand gently on the file in Emily's hand. "We can go grab something?"</p><p>"I'm going to run down to my apartment for some extra change of clothes for Aaron and me," Emily said and looked at the clock. It was almost time.</p><p>"I'll go with you," JJ said and grabbed her coat. The two walked out of the hospital room. Emily making sure to plant a gentle kiss on Aaron's head before leaving. Penelope and Derek, who were coming in for their shifts, waved their goodbyes to them as they left.</p><p>Emily and JJ made it back to her apartment. Emily managed to sneak away while JJ was in the kitchen. The woman slipping the folder into her purse. She grabbed two bags, one for Aaron the other for her. It wasn't long until they left.</p><p>JJ managed to get them both to the local diner Emily had requested to eat at. The blonde woman excusing herself to go to the restroom.</p><p>Emily sat down at the aisle and pulled out the manila folder. She set it down next to her and waited. She made sure to make it seem like she was looking down at the menu. Tom sat down next to her right at ten o'clock precisely.</p><p>"You need to get him out of here. Ian called me. Take Declan far away, Tom. I smashed my phone, so he has no way to contact me. Please just take care of him," Emily said softly with tears in her eyes. The man grabbed the folder that had about five thousand dollars, enough to settle them for a little. "Please take care of my boy."</p><p>"Always," Tom said and stuffed the folder in his jacket. Emily nodded her head as he stood up and walked out of the dinner without another word. JJ walked out of the bathroom and saw Emily there with tears in her eyes.</p><p>"Hey. It's going to be okay. We'll find Foyet. Let's just fill your stomach with food," JJ said and caressed the woman's back as she sat next to her.</p><p>Emily: "We don't have to be perfect in our parenting, just purposeful." Holli Kenley.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm curious on your guys' thoughts on where Declan is being located to 👀 </p><p>also fair warning, this story isn't going to sugar coat on the lauren reynolds storyline. of course this is just my interpretation of it but we'll see how it goes! 🥳</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i've thought long about the kind of relationship emily and ian had when she was undercover. the show gives so many hints that she was unhappy but the way he looked at her just wow😗</p><p>anyways, this chapter talks very little about their relationship and how declan and emily got close</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of psychological abuse, mentions of violence against women, outbursts of violence, semi acts of violence<br/>word count: 3860</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rossi: "There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds." Laurell K. Hamilton. </p><p>Emily woke up and squinted as the sunlight hit her eyes. She looked around the room she didn't recognize. It was an office in the BAU. Strauss didn't want to risk having the two being watched in either apartment. The two only had one option: to stay at the BAU.</p><p>It's been two weeks of them sleeping on an air mattress, having agents take turns of who watches over them as they slept. Paid overtime, of course. Two weeks of absolute silence was driving Emily crazy.</p><p>She relaxed as she felt Aaron shift behind her. The man wrapping his arms protectively around Emily. It was now a force of habit.</p><p>"Good morning," Aaron said softly. Emily smiled and leaned more into him. She turned back and placed her hand gently on his chest. It was bright and sunny in the room. The two have to squint their eyes to adjust to the sunlight. "You look beautiful."</p><p>"I just woke up. I have drool and eye crusts still," Emily said and sat up. The woman's back being exposed from her pajama set. A red silk set. Emily's favorite.</p><p>"I fell in love with your drool and eye crusts," Aaron said and ran his hand down Emily's back. He didn't move much. The scars still hurt.</p><p>"And you'll still love me for my wrinkles," Emily said and leaned over, kissing him softly.</p><p>"Yes, I will," Aaron said and smiled. The man getting up with a groan as he stretched. Emily watched him make his way to their phones that were currently charging. Emily took in the sight of Aaron in a simple white tank top and shorts.</p><p>"Hey," Emily said and stood up. Her feet were hitting the cold floor. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. Emily reached up and smoothed out the man's bed head. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you," Aaron said and wrapped his arms around her waist. He leaned against the desk and kissed Emily softly. "Come on. We got to get dressed so we can go to work."</p><p>"We can sleep in," Emily said with a smile. Aaron chuckled and pushed her hair behind her ears. They were about to lean in again, but there was a knock on the window. "Mmm, I forgot. No privacy."</p><p>"I can try to get us some breakfast, if you're hungry. I'll let you go get dressed," Aaron said and kissed the woman on her head. Emily nodded as she grabbed her robe and her bag. She walked down the hall towards the bathroom. Emily locked the door behind her. She set her bag down and looked at herself in the mirror.</p><p>"Mom!" Declan yelled and ran up to the woman. Emily was still adjusting to the name from the eight-year-old. Emily leaned down wrapped her arms around him as she kissed his cheek.</p><p>"Oh, my boy!" Emily yelled and hugged him tightly. "How I've missed you."</p><p>The laughter coming from Declan echoed in the woman's head. She opened her eyes, she didn't know she shut, and came face to face with herself. Emily stood there for probably minutes, just examining herself.</p><p>"The bible says blows and wounds will heal us," Cyrus hissed before hitting Emily against the wall.</p><p>"Doyle. Ian Doyle," he said as the two shook hands. He smiled charmingly at her.</p><p>"I should have never come home back to this family!" her father yelled. A young Emily sat at the top of the stairs as she watched her father walkout.</p><p>"Congratulations on your engagement."</p><p>"I can keep you company. Maybe even jump-start your car for you."</p><p>"Where is he, you son of a bitch?"</p><p>Emily's head was spinning as the many men's voices filled her head. All the men who have caused the woman some sort of psychological damage. She didn't think twice as she swung to shut them up. Her fist colliding with the mirror. It shattered around her knuckles. The woman shook her hand as curse words spilled out of her mouth. Her eyes flicked up to the reflection that stared back at her.</p><p>She didn't recognize the Emily in the mirror. She took a deep breath as she walked away from the mirror and changed as best as she could into her pantsuit.</p><p>Emily walked into the "bedroom" of the two about twenty minutes later. Aaron had left already, presumably to go to his office. Emily threw her bag down and shook her head as she walked out of the room.</p><p>Get a grip, Emily.</p><p>She made her way to the coffee pot in the bullpen. Emily grabbed the coffee mug and set it down. She gripped the sides of the counter and sighed. Her knuckles were bright red and throbbing. She slowly shut her eyes.</p><p>"You can't do anything right!" Ian shouted and backhanded the three-year-old off the tricycle. Lauren's jaw dropped as she made a move to help him. Ian held his hand out to stop her. She was terrified of what was going to happen that she froze. Declan cried softly as he stood up.</p><p>"Come here, sweetie," Lauren said softly, and Declan practically ran to the woman. She grabbed him and lifted him into his arms. His head buried into her neck as he cried softly. She was about to take a step away from him, but Ian grabbed her arm and pulled her back.</p><p>"The boy needs to learn to grow a spine," Ian said and clenched his jaw. Lauren tugged her arm back as she didn't back down.</p><p>"He's a child. What good could that possibly do," Lauren said and nearly spat in the man's face. She stared him down for a couple of seconds before walking off with Declan in her arms.</p><p>"You okay?" Reid asked and walked up to Emily. The raven-haired woman opened her eyes. She still stood at the coffee pot for more than six minutes. Emily jumped at the sound of his voice.</p><p>"Yeah, Spence, I'm okay," Emily said and smiled forcefully at the man. He squinted his eyes slightly. That was his tell. He wasn't going to let up. "I've just had my head full with this case. That's all."</p><p>"We'll get him. I know you and Hotch are attached at the hip now, but if you need someone to talk to. I'll be here, always," Spencer said and smiled softly at Emily.</p><p>"I appreciate it," Emily said and pursed her lips. Spencer holding his arms out. Emily didn't hesitate to embrace him in a hug. She took a deep breath and relaxed in his arms. The man rubbing her back soothingly as he pulled away.</p><p>"Maybe you should get some ice on that hand," Reid said and smiled at Emily. The woman scoffing and shaking her hand.</p><p>"I'll be okay. I'll have Derek wrap it for me," Emily said and patted Spencer's back as she walked away from the coffee pot.</p><p>"I'll get the first aid kit," Spencer said and walked out of the bullpen.</p><p>Emily looked over at her desk and saw a brown bag on her desk. This was her life now. Brown paper bags filled with greasy food and an air mattress that didn't feel comfortable when sleeping. If she continued this, she might drive herself insane. Foyet and Doyle took one of Emily's mental sanctuaries. She valued her home more than anything. Emily needed a place to go to and unwind without fear of death staring at her.</p><p>She should be pissed that Doyle was out. She should be moving mountains and breaking down everything in her path. But a piece of her was so scared. Her cheek stung at just the thought of him.</p><p>Emily sat down at her desk and took a deep breath. She sat back as she let her head tilt back to try and relax her.</p><p>"Declan, go with Louise. Now," Ian said and pointed his finger towards the door. The young boy looked up at Lauren for confirmation. She nodded her head and smiled at the little boy. Lauren's heart now pounded out of her chest. She was alone with Ian.</p><p>"I told you about babying him," Ian said and sauntered towards Lauren. The woman putting her hands out in front of her.</p><p>"He's just getting attached, Ian. He's not used to having someone like me around," Lauren said and pursed her lips. Ian grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him.</p><p>"I'm trying to raise a warrior," Ian said and leaned in right next to Lauren's ear. The woman shut her eyes and gently placed her hands on his chest. </p><p>Play along, Em. Just make him happy.</p><p>"I know. I know. He's just—he's so little," Lauren said and chuckled nervously. "I want to just keep him like that."</p><p>"I thought you said you weren't the mothering type," Ian said and placed his hands on Lauren's hips. The woman's hand gently went to his face.</p><p>"He's special," Lauren said and smiled. Ian nodded his head and leaned in, kissing the woman passionately. Lauren relaxed as they kissed. Just make him happy.</p><p>Two little arms wrapped around her leg. She glanced down to see Declan there, bright eyes looking right up at her. Lauren smiled down at him before picking him up. She and Declan both leaned their heads together as they looked at Ian. The man smiling widely at his fiancé and son.</p><p>"What's up, street fighter," Derek said and sat down at the edge of Emily's desk. Emily looked up at him and smiled softly. "You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, this just hurts like hell," Emily said and gestured to her hand. Derek chuckled as Spencer handed him the first aid kit. The two men both helped in wrapping her knuckles. Emily was capable of doing it herself, but they didn't want her to.</p><p>"Emily—what happened?" JJ asked and walked up to the three agents. Emily kept her eyes down as JJ examined her wrapped hand.</p><p>"I swung at a mirror," Emily said as her lips formed a straight line. Her dimples were popping out. JJ knelt next to her and smiled softly. "I'm okay. It's just a little much."</p><p>"I told you guys. There's a nice house that is being rented out down the street from my house," JJ said and tilted her head slightly.</p><p>"And JJ, I already told you, I'm not having us live so close to you. I'm not put you in danger," Emily said and locked eyes with JJ. Emily shook her head slightly as she licked her lips. "Any of you."</p><p>"Hey, you!" Penelope said and handed Emily a coffee from the coffee truck she loved to go to. Emily furrowed her eyebrows as Penelope wrapped her arms tightly around her. Just as Emily was about to ask, Rossi stepped into the bullpen and settled himself onto Spencer's desk.</p><p>"How are you doing, kiddo?" Rossi asked. Emily's head throbbing as all of them asked her questions. "How did everyone sleep?"</p><p>"I kept having nightmares, personally. Emily? How did you sleep, my love?" Penelope said and placed her hand on Emily's arm.</p><p>"Guys! I appreciate the love but asking a million questions doesn't make any of this feel better. It's overwhelming, so can everyone just stop with the questions for five fucking minutes?" Emily snapped and pushed her chair away from the five agents. She scrunched up her face when she realized what she said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys."</p><p>"It's okay," JJ said and placed her hand on Emily's arm. "How about we all have lunch together? A family lunch?"</p><p>"I'd like that," Emily said as tears formed in her eyes. "But can we stay in here? I don't want to go outside."</p><p>"Of course. I'll order it. Uh, what do you want? Anything you want," JJ said and smiled at Emily.</p><p>"Something that's not greasy," Emily said as a single tear left her eye. JJ's hand wiping it away with a gentle touch.</p><p>"You got it," JJ said and nodded encouragingly at Emily. The raven-haired woman nodded back.</p><p>"Emily. Can I talk to you for a second?" Aaron asked and walked out of his office. Emily nodded as she pulled away from the group. She walked into Hotch's office and tried her best to hide her hand. Of course, that lasted about five seconds before Aaron noticed it."What happened to your hand?"</p><p>"I hit a mirror," Emily said as she walked up to Aaron. He furrowed his eyebrows as Emily placed both her hands on his chest. "But I'm okay now."</p><p>"I know this situation is stressful. I'm sorry I'm putting you through this," Aaron said softly. "If there's anything I can—"</p><p>"You can tell me why I was called into the principal's office," Emily said and smiled softly. Aaron nodded his head.</p><p>"Strauss wants to have a meeting with us. She's coming down right now," Aaron said and pursed his lips.</p><p>"She's a bore to have meetings with," Emily said and rolled her eyes. The man chuckling as he moved the wrapping of her knuckles down slightly.</p><p>"Behave with her, please," Aaron said and kissed Emily's knuckles. She rolled her eyes as Strauss walked in. The two broke away. Aaron sitting at his desk, Emily sitting in front of him. Strauss settled right next to Emily.</p><p>The three sat in silence, waiting for anyone to talk first. Emily's jaw clenched as Strauss cleared her throat.</p><p>"We need to put the both of you into witness protection," Strauss said and crossed her arms. Emily scoffed as she stood up. "Agent Prentiss!"</p><p>"No," Emily said and clenched her jaw. Strauss raised her eyebrows. "I'm not going into the program. Haley and Jack are already accounted for and safe, but I'm not going."</p><p>"The two of you are targets now of George Foyet. The bureau cannot have targets on their agent's backs. This isn't a matter of debate," Strauss said and sat back in her seat.</p><p>"This man is now a family annihilator. If you think he's going to stop killing if the both of us go into the program, then you haven't been paying attention," Emily said sternly.</p><p>"No, Agent Prentiss, you haven't been paying attention. Now that the two of you are engaged, you are a family now. If George Foyet's entire plan is to wipe out the Hotchner family, the two of you fall under that criteria," Strauss said and glanced back and forth between the two.</p><p>"You know who's also under that criteria? Them!" Emily said and pulled down the blinds to show the five agents all scrambling to look busy. Emily snapped the blinds closed. "The BAU is a family. It's our family. So what makes you think that if we go into witness protection that he won't go after David, or Spencer, or Derek, or Penelope or Jennifer?"</p><p>"I get your frustration—"</p><p>"No, you don't," Emily said and clenched her jaw. "If they don't get admitted into the program either, I'm not going. It's plain and simple. I refuse to leave them out in the open while I hide underground like a coward!"</p><p>Emily opened the door as Strauss stood up. Emily was already down the stairs by the time Erin got out of the office. "Agent Prentiss!"</p><p>"With all due respect, ma'am. I have a serial killer to catch. So, this conversation is over," Emily said and left the bullpen without another word. Erin looked back at Aaron, who stood up with a sigh. The rest of the team all silent as they watched the situation before them.</p><p>"Go control your fiancé," she said and shook her head. Aaron nodded his head and chased after Emily.</p><p>"Emily!" Aaron said as he chased the woman down the hallway. Emily sighed as she stopped. Aaron pulled her into an empty interview room.</p><p>"I'm not going into the fucking program, Aaron. It doesn't matter," Emily said as Aaron placed his hands on both her arms.</p><p>"Okay. Okay. We won't go into the program," Aaron said and ducked his head down to meet Emily's eye. "I promise we won't. Okay?"</p><p>"Okay," Emily said softly.</p><p>"But, I think it's best if we settle into an apartment together. I know the two of us don't like staying here at the BAU. So let's just pick an apartment," Aaron said and lifted Emily's chin to look at him.</p><p>"I'll place a meeting with the agent from the three-bedroom, two-story apartment," Emily said and grabbed her phone. Aaron nodded his head and pulled the woman in for a hug. His arms wrapped protectively around her as his chin rested on her head. "Thank you. I'm sorry for snapping."</p><p>"I understand. We're both on edge. It's completely understandable, babe. Let's just take it one day at a time," Aaron said and sighed softly. He placed a gentle kiss on her head. Emily relaxed into his touch.</p><p>You're okay. You're okay. It's just Aaron.</p><p>"I love you, Emily Prentiss. I won't let anything happen to you," Aaron said and placed another gentle kiss on Emily's forehead. </p><p>"I love you," Ian said and smiled as the woman wrapped her arms around him. Lauren didn't smile, didn't even move.</p><p>"I love you too," Lauren said in as much of a cheerful voice as she could pull off.</p><p>Emily pulled away from Hotch and kept her hand out to distance herself from him. Aaron furrowed his eyebrows. "Emily?"</p><p>"I'm going to call the agent," Emily said softly and walked out of the room. Aaron nodded his head and watched her as she walked down the hallway. He leaned back against the filing cabinet and clenched his jaw.</p><p>Hours had passed, and Aaron had decided it was best to give Emily some space. When lunchtime came, Emily didn't say much as the rest of the team chatted amongst themselves. Everyone decided not to push Emily.</p><p>JJ tried her best to cheer Emily up by getting her a caesar salad, anything none greasy. She paired it with a red sports drink Emily liked. The raven-haired woman looked sick, she figured it'd help. Emily thanked everyone softly for having lunch with her before leaving.</p><p>The woman went back to her desk and stayed quiet the rest of the day. Both Derek and Spencer noticed the woman's journals of notes and massive numbers of George Foyet files on her desk. She was desperate to find something, anything to find him.</p><p>Emily's mind was mentally retracing every step of the mission she did with Doyle. Every single thing made Emily's hand balled up into a fist.</p><p>Lauren held the pregnancy test in her hands. The woman took in a shaky breath. There were two little lines on it.</p><p>She was pregnant. This couldn't be happening. She heard a slight noise come from her bedroom. She shielded the box and turned quickly. She was met with a little bundle of blonde hair and a small smile. Lauren tossed the pregnancy test and box into the trash as she walked out of the bathroom.</p><p>"Hi, baby," Lauren said and smiled widely. Declan smiled back at her. Ian walked in shortly after. His eyes catching the pregnancy test in the trash.</p><p>Emily didn't say anything as she marched her way to Aaron's office. The man's head snapping up to see who just rushed into his office. She placed both hands on his face and brought him in for a passionate kiss.</p><p>This was her Aaron. The Aaron that wouldn't lay a hand on her. The Aaron that wouldn't yell at her and call her useless. Aaron was safe in her arms.</p><p>Aaron pulled away for air with a smile tainted on his face. "What was that for?"</p><p>"For loving me. Thank you," Emily said softly and ran her finger over his delicate features. Aaron turned his head and kissed the woman's hand. Her eyes filled with tears as he looked at her.</p><p>"What's going on?" Aaron asked as he tilted his head. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm having a bad day. And you told me always to tell you when I have bad days," Emily said and smiled as tears escaped her eyes. "I'm having a terrible day."</p><p>"Let's talk about your bad day," Aaron said and stood up, leading her to the couch. Emily held the man's hand as they sat down. The woman didn't say anything as she leaned her head against his shoulder.</p><p>"Are you sure this is it?" Foyet asked and leaned back in his chair. Doyle placed down the binoculars as he nodded. Both men got out of the car, slipping on their gloves. They blended in with the dark night sky.</p><p>They broke down the door, and Doyle grabbed the man, hitting him in the stomach. Ian hit the man over his head and sent him to the ground. Foyet grabbed him and placed him down in a chair.</p><p>"Hello, Fahey," Ian said and smiled cynically at the man. Fahey chuckled nervously at both men. "It's good to see you. I need a favor."</p><p>"What do you need?" Fahey and gulped loudly.</p><p>"An army," Ian said and looked back at George. "And a location to do my dirty work. Specifically, the one Lauren asked you for."</p><p>"Lauren? Lauren Reynolds? Your crazy fiancé that died in a car accident?" Fahey asked and chuckled. Foyet walked up to him and plunged a knife into the man's leg. "Ah, you fucking—okay! Okay!"</p><p>"You knew she was alive, and you didn't tell me," Ian said and making Fahey nod fast. "What else aren't you telling me?"</p><p>"Nothing. I couldn't tell you since you were already being transferred to North Korea," he said and breathed heavily. "I'll get you, local mob guys. Fifteen work?"</p><p>"Perfect. And one more thing: you tell her I visited you, my friend here will gut you like cattle," Ian said and smiled. He patted the man's cheek. "I know where to find you if I need anything else."</p><p>"Oh, actually, I need something," George said and smiled. "I need a forger."</p><p>"What do you need?" Fahey asked and glanced back and forth between the two men. "I can get you anything. This guy's rates are dirt cheap."</p><p>"I need a U.S. marshals badge. Make the name Victor Collins."</p><p>Spencer: "The joy of seeing another person in pain, frustrated, or angry is a delicacy only for the most wicked." Robin Sacredfire.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>foyet 🤝 doyle <br/>causing hotchniss so much trauma</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you so much for 10k reads on wattpad, (almost) 3k reads on AO3 and for 12k likes on tiktok. you guys are truly the best. if you haven't already go check out my tiktok for visuals of these chapters😌</p><p>i give each and every one of you a virtual hug and kiss 😘</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, mentions of torture, death, mentions of cheating<br/>word count: 5035</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ: "We all have a monster within; the difference is in degree, not in kind." Douglas Preston.</p><p>"Please, state your full name and the department you work for."</p><p>JJ sat up and straightened out her appearance. "Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Isabella Jareau with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Federal Bureau of Investigation in Quantico, Virginia."</p><p>"Agent Jareau. How would you describe Agent Hotchner's recent behavior?" Erin asked and crossed her arms. JJ clenched her jaw.</p><p>"Driven. I would be too if someone were targeting my family," JJ said and tried to keep her composure.</p><p>"And what about Agent Prentiss?" Strauss asked.</p><p>"The same. Both of them have their son to protect. We both know that the two most dedicated agents in the FBI weren't going to let up on a personal case. None of us would. Agent Hotchner and Agent Prentiss were not the only ones looking into this case. Any threat to them is also a threat to the entire team," JJ said and crossed her legs under the table.</p><p>"Then what happened?" Strauss said and clenched her jaw slightly. "Start from the beginning."</p><p>"Hello, Lauren."</p><p>Emily hunched over the toilet bowl and emptied her stomach contents. She coughed up everything that she had in her. The woman shut her eyes as she flushed the toilet and stood up. Four weeks after, Foyet and Doyle made their presence known, and Emily was still on edge. Her face was into a towel bowl now more often than she cared to admit.</p><p>"Emily?" Penelope called out on the other side of the door. Emily got up and grabbed some mints from her bag. She popped one in her mouth before opening the bathroom door. "You okay? You look pale but also amazing at the same time."</p><p>"Yeah, just nerves. I threw up whatever was in my stomach," Emily said and popped another mint into her mouth. Penelope nodded and wrapped her arm around Emily.</p><p>"You think it's because you and Hotch just moved into that new apartment?" Penelope asked as the two walked into the bullpen.</p><p>"Maybe, we also love the company of a security guard," Emily said sarcastically. The women looked over at the bullpen doors that opened forcefully. JJ walked in and immediately ran up to Hotch's office. Both agents furrowed their eyebrows as Hotch and JJ walked out of the office and straight towards the conference room.</p><p>"Well, that doesn't seem good," Penelope said and looked over to Emily. Emily tilted her head towards the conference room. Derek, Spencer, and Rossi weren't far behind them as they all piled into the room.</p><p>"We have a possible lead on George Foyet," JJ said and placed both her hands on her hips. "So, Henry is currently running a fever, and while I was in line with the pharmacist, it got me thinking. She said that there's a lot of drugs that have over-the-counter substitutes. Since Foyet has spent years torturing himself, he'd have a pretty nice cocktail of strong medicine to ease the pain. But since we haven't been able to get a hit on the entire list, what if he's using their over-the-counter substitutes."</p><p>"We're going to need all hands on deck. This list of medications is long. Let's get started," Aaron said as everyone sat down.</p><p>"After your team narrowed down the geographical profile, what happened?" Strauss asked and tilted her head. Reid sighed softly and sat back in his chair.</p><p>"We compiled a list of drugs that didn't have an over-the-counter substitute. From there, we found one of his aliases, Peter Rhea," Spencer said and locked eyes with Strauss. "So, when Garcia ran it through the system, she found a match for his apartment."</p><p>"There's been no movement, and swat is getting anxious. They're not trained to sit and wait for the action to happen," Emily said and crossed her arms. Aaron looked over at the apartment.</p><p>"Let's send someone in," Aaron said and tilted his head to Morgan. The man nodded.</p><p>"And then what happened?" Strauss asked. Derek cleared his throat.</p><p>"We had to go in," Derek said and just looked straight ahead. Strauss tilted her head up.</p><p>"FBI!" Aaron yelled and busted down the door to his apartment. Swat members and the rest of the team weren't too far behind him. They all broke away in their own separate areas to scan the apartment. Emily noticed the laptop.</p><p>"Hotch!" Emily yelled. The man came practically running out of the room and placed a hand on her waist. "Look at this. It looks like it's self-deleting everything."</p><p>"Let's get Garcia on this," Derek said and pulled out his cellphone.</p><p>"Whatcha need?" Penelope asked as she answered the phone.</p><p>"Get into this guy's computer, Garcia," Derek said and furrowed his eyebrows as he hunched over and tried to stop the deleting process.</p><p>"He is creepy good at computers. But I am very much better. Whatever was on it, he didn't want us to see," Penelope said as she started to type away and begin to rebuild the deleted files off of the computer. "Here we go! He had an internet alarm for any searches on the name Peter Rhea. And also these."</p><p>"Is that? Garcia, wait, back it up," JJ said and leaned over. On the computer were photos of Emily and Aaron at their new apartment. He got the two out on grocery trips, the actual move-in date, and a recent photo from two days ago. Emily's eyes widened. The images kept circulating until new ones popped up. They were of Sam Kassmeyer.</p><p>"Shit," Derek mumbled under his breath.</p><p>"You left for Marshal Kassmeyer's house immediately?" Strauss said and paced slowly back and forth. Rossi's eyes followed her. He nodded. "You didn't feel the need to call in reinforcements?"</p><p>"What good would that have done? The man was on the brink of life when we found him. Nothing, including calling for another operation, would have changed, and you know that," Rossi said and sat back in his chair, completely unbothered by Strauss.</p><p>The Marshal walked into his home and tossed his keys and phone down on the side table by the couch. He turned to take off his jacket.</p><p>"Hello, Sam," George said and shot the man in his leg. The man groaned as he fell back. Ian smiled as he tried to get back on his feet. Foyet walked towards him and shot the man in his other leg. He screamed out in pain. Doyle walked just out of his vision. Sam thought there was just two Foyet's with his vision being blurry. "Where are they?"</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam said and tried so hard to move his legs. Foyet chuckled as he shot the man right in the foot. He screamed in agony.</p><p>"Don't play dumb. You know who," Foyet said and stepped on the man's shot foot. He grabbed Sam and hit him in the eye with the barrel of the gun. He tried to fight him off, but it was no use.</p><p>"Go to hell," Sam said softly. Foyet turned to Doyle and chuckled. He knelt down in front of the man and pulled out the switchblade from his back pocket.</p><p>"This little piggy," George said and grabbed the man's hand. He sliced off the man's finger clean. "Well, look at that, that piggy isn't going anywhere. Such a shame."</p><p>"Just kill me," Sam said breathlessly. George smiled cynically.</p><p>"We're not done yet," Foyet said and grabbed his hand. His index finger was the next finger to come off clean. Sam screamed in pain as Doyle and Foyet both found peace in the man's agony. Doyle walked around just out of the man's peripheral vision. He looked at the phone before grabbing it. He whistled, gaining Foyet's attention. George smiled as he stood up. He was about to walk away, but he couldn't help himself and hit the man once again with his gun. Foyet grabbed the phone from Doyle. "I'll find her myself."</p><p>"Hello, Haley? I'm sorry, ma'am, wrong number."</p><p>"Haley? Wrong number, my apologies."</p><p>"Hello, is Haley there?"</p><p>"Haley?"</p><p>"Sam?" Haley said as she and Jack walked back to the car after grocery shopping. She held Jack's hand tightly as she pushed the cart.</p><p>"No! Haley," Sam said weakly. Doyle walked over to the man and slammed his foot down against his face. He groaned as he fell back. His eyes were now almost swollen shut.</p><p>"I'm sorry for using your real name, ma'am. My name is Victor Collins. I'm with the Marshals service. We have a problem," Foyet said and tried to imitate Doyle's accent as best as he could. "Marshal Kassmeyer has been killed. And we're afraid that your location may have been compromised."</p><p>"What are you—"</p><p>"Ma'am, I need you to focus right now. This is about saving your son. We're trying to save, Jack. Do you understand?" Foyet asked as he started to pace around the room. Doyle fell back into the shadows and out of Sam's vision. "I'm afraid there's more, ma'am. I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, but um, your ex-husband has also been killed."</p><p>"Oh God," Haley whispered and looked down at Jack. Foyet gave her a list of instructions to follow now that Haley's guard was down. George nodded over at Doyle.</p><p>We got her.</p><p>"I don't want you to worry, ma'am. I'll meet with you shortly," Foyet said and tried to sound sorrowful in his tone. It was working. Haley was buying it.</p><p>"Are you sure? About Aaron?" Haley asked and smiled down as Jack looked up at her. She smoothed his hair out and choked back her tears. "Are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes, ma'am. I saw the body myself. I'm terribly sorry," Foyet said and hung up the phone. Ian and him both laughing as he set the phone down.</p><p>"I have to hand it to you, George. That was a good one," Ian said and patted the man's back.</p><p>"I'd give anything to see her face right now," George said and smiled. The two men hearing groans of protest coming from the Marshal on the floor.</p><p>"Now, for the trash," Ian said and clenched his jaw. "What do you want to do with him?"</p><p>"Trash talks too much," George said and pulled out his gun. He shot Sam twice in the stomach. "He's coming to me. Let's make sure of that."</p><p>"I like your thinking," Ian said and patted the man's back. The two walked out, unknowingly leaving behind a barely alive Marshal on the ground.</p><p>"Agent Prentiss."</p><p>"Ma'am," Emily said and interlaced her finger in front of her. She was already annoyed with Strauss.</p><p>"We understand that Agent Hotchner managed to separate himself from the rest of the team," Strauss said and threw down the file in front of her.</p><p>"He didn't 'manage' to do that. Marshal Kassmeyer was barely alive. He went with him to see if he could get answers before he either died or lost consciousness," Emily said and locked eyes with Strauss.</p><p>"You didn't go with him? I thought the two of you would be inseparable," Strauss said and leaned over her chair. Emily scoffed.</p><p>"That's the beauty of our relationship, ma'am. We trust each other. Both our professional and personal relationships work that way. He was doing everything in his power to find out where his family was. If he sat and waited for answers, they both would have been gone," Emily said and clenched her jaw. "It didn't seem necessary that I go with him when I could be helping my team figure out where he took Haley."</p><p>"Did he tell you it wasn't necessary?"</p><p>Emily shook her head. "Is that what you're looking for? A way to blame this on him? What good could that possibly do?"</p><p>"He was looking for an opportunity to separate himself from the team, and he found one—"</p><p>"That isn't true," Emily said through her teeth.</p><p>"—he was desperate, and he didn't want someone with a clear head to stop him."</p><p>"Is there a question in there somewhere?" Emily asked and stood up. Strauss was taken back at the sudden motion. Emily clenched her jaw as she locked eyes with Erin. She leaned over the table with her hands flat against the file. "You're ridiculous to think I'd just sit here and let you slander my fiancé like that. That man tried everything in his power to stop this. Don't you dare make a scapegoat out of him. If you want someone to blame, blame Foyet! You leave Aaron out of this."</p><p>"Sit down. Your fiancé is under investigation. Unless you'd like to join him, I'd suggest you tell me what else happened," Erin said and mirrored Emily's position. The woman tilted her head as a taunt.</p><p>"Guys, I think we need to look at this from Foyet's point of view. Meaning. Everything has meaning to him," JJ said and placed her hands on her hips.</p><p>"If this is about tormenting Hotch, what's the place that would do that?" Derek asked and glanced around at the rest of his team.</p><p>"His house. The house they use to live in together. It makes sense. He'd kill Jack and Haley there to assert his dominance and scar Hotch to never look at that place the same way," Emily said. The team didn't waste any time jumping into action.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Haley slowly opened the door to her house and smiled at the man standing there. He made sure to show her his badge. "Please, come in."</p><p>"Hello, ma'am. My name is Victor Collins," Ian said and smiled softly as he entered the house. Jack was playing in the living room and waved hi to the man that just walked in. "Your boy is lovely."</p><p>"Thank you. I'm making some green tea. Would you like some? Or water?" Haley asked and led him to the kitchen. Ian was taking a good look around at his surroundings.</p><p>"Tea would be perfect," Ian said as Haley pulled out the chair for him. He sat down and watched her intensely as she boiled some water over the stove. "I'm sorry we have to meet like this."</p><p>"How did—how did he go?" Haley asked as she reached over and grabbed a teabag from one of the cabinets. Ian sighed softly.</p><p>"Gunshot, right to the back of the head. Did they inform you of the man they're looking for? Did they show you a picture?" Ian asked as Haley poured the hot water into a mug. She dipped the tea bag in there before handing it to him.</p><p>"They said his name is George Foyet?" Haley said and had tears building up in her eyes. She glanced over at Jack, who was peacefully playing by himself. The two walking into the living room. "What am I going to tell him?"</p><p>"That his father was a good man. That's all there is to say," Ian said and smiled encouragingly at Haley. She noticed the man wearing gloves. Her eyebrows furrowed. Ian saw the look. "Sorry, winter is very cruel to my dry hands. This helps protect them."</p><p>"No, I understand," Haley said and smiled softly.</p><p>"Actually, I forgot a file in my car. I'll just be right out," Ian said and set down the mug. Haley nodded as she watched him go towards the front door and open it. Her attention turned back to Jack, who was handing her a fire truck he loved to play with.</p><p>"Hello," George said and walked into the room. Haley's eyes widened. "Nice work, Victor."</p><p>"I'll leave you two alone. Fifteen minutes and then we're out of here. The boys are getting antsy just driving all day," Ian said and held his fist up. The two men were chuckling as they bumped their fists together. Ian turned his attention to Haley. The woman's eyes filled with fear. "Ma'am."</p><p>George walked up to her and smiled as his eyes trailed up and down her body. The woman's eyes filled with tears. She was ready to yell at Jack to get him out of the room, but that's when she felt the knife right against her back. "Say anything to tip the boy off. I'll gut you right here in front of him. We have to make a call, and I'll gladly take away that phone call if you don't cooperate."</p><p>"Jack. Can you say hi to George?" Haley asked and smiled as lovingly as she could at him. Jack waved slightly at George. The man smiled before taking out his phone. He dialed the number before handing the phone to Haley. Foyet made his way to Jack and started to move around one of his action figures he had out.</p><p>"Foyet?"</p><p>"Aaron?" Haley asked. Aaron's eyes softened as he heard her voice. "He said you were—I'm so sorry, Aaron."</p><p>"He can hear us, right?" Aaron asked as he kept his eyes on the road in front of him. The woman hummed as she tried to contain her sobs. "Show him no weakness, Haley."</p><p>"What happened to Sam?" Haley asked and wiped her tears away quickly.</p><p>"Sam is fine—"</p><p>"Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Is this why your marriage didn't work out? Told too many lies? Nobody likes a liar, isn't that right, Jack?" Foyet asked and glanced over at the little boy who looked up at his mom.</p><p>"Don't listen to him, Haley. He's trying to scare you. Sam is okay. He's stable at the hospital," Aaron said and drove as fast as he could to his house.</p><p>"Liar," George sang out. "He lies a lot. You know, Aaron, it's people like you that make me believe there's no such thing as fairy tales. No happy endings for anyone."</p><p>"Tell Jack I need him to work this case with me," Aaron said and turned sharply. Haley gulped and looked down at Jack. The little boy was looking up at the sound of his father's voice. Haley handed him the phone and smiled softly.</p><p>"Hi, daddy," Jack said and held the phone with both of his hands. Aaron's eyes filled with tears.</p><p>"Hi, buddy," Aaron said softly.</p><p>"Is George a bad guy?" he asked as Haley smoothed out his hair. George smiled slightly at the comment.</p><p>"Yes, he is. Listen, Jack, I need you on this case with me, okay? Do you understand? I need you to work this case with me," Aaron said as his heart started to race. He heard a quiet okay on the other line. Tears seeped out of Haley's eyes. "Jack, hug your mom for me."</p><p>The little boy doing as his father said and wrapped his arms around Haley. She tried to contain her tears as she held onto her son for the last time. She never wanted to let go.</p><p>"Mommy, hug me too tight," Jack said and pulled away from his mom.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Haley said and pushed the hair back from his face. She couldn't help herself and brought him in for another tight hug. "I love you so much. Don't you ever forget that? Okay?"</p><p>"I gotta go. I'm working the case," Jack said and pulled away from his mother for the last time. He happily made his way up the stairs, not knowing that would be the last time his mother held him. Haley stood up and wiped her tears away. Haley sobbed into her hand as George stood up.</p><p>"I'll be right up, Jacky boy!" Foyet yelled and slowly made his way behind Haley. The woman's heart racing.</p><p>"Is he gone?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Haley. I never meant for any of this to happen," Aaron said softly. Haley bounced the phone in her hand nervously.</p><p>"You'll hurry, right?" Haley asked and shut her eyes at the feeling of George placing a gun on the back of her neck.</p><p>"I will. I'm so sorry. I know you didn't sign up for this," Aaron said as his lip trembled.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Aaron. I'm sorry for everything. For the shouting matches, and leaving, and the—and the affair. I'm so sorry for everything I ever did to you, Aaron. You say I didn't sign up for this, but neither did you. You're a good man, Aaron Hotchner. Please don't ever forget that," Haley said and gulped as Foyet stood right behind her. "Promise me that you'll take care of him. Promise to tell him about me. Please remind him every day that I loved him more than anything. Please tell him how much you love him every day. He needs to hear it. He needs to know you weren't always so serious, Aaron. That there was once a man who'd make the entire room laugh and wear a smile that can light up a city. You and Emily, please take care of Jack. I don't care what happens to me, just please, Aaron, please get here before he finds him. I'm so sorry. Promise me. Please don't make this break him. Promise me, Aaron."</p><p>"I promise," Aaron said softly. Haley nodded and took a deep breath.</p><p>Three gunshots rang out through the phone.</p><p>Aaron threw the phone against the dashboard as he gripped the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles turned white. He was so close. Aaron was only about five minutes away from the house. He pulled in sharply and didn't bother to shut the door as he ran out and into the house. He drew his gun and carefully entered the house. He scanned every room, the living room, the kitchen, the downstairs playroom for Jack.</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>Hotch made his way up the stairs slowly, making sure not to make a sound as he did. The man walked into their once shared bedroom. His eyes landing on Haley's lifeless body there. Aaron almost losing it and breaking down.</p><p>That was until he saw the shoes in the mirror and turned, firing an entire clip into the window curtains. The body fell forward. He carefully walked up to him before turning him around. No blood. Just as he was about to react, George hit him over the head. The man getting up and running out of the room. Aaron grabbed his gun from his ankle and fired two shots right into his back, straight into the vest. Hotch got up and grabbed him as he made his way to the stairs.</p><p>The two stumbled down the stairs. Both were panting for air before trying to get to their feet. Aaron was the quicker of the two and got up, kicking Foyet right in the stomach before grabbing him and having him in a headlock. The man jammed his elbow into Aaron's stomach before breaking away. Aaron grabbed him again and threw him into a picture frame, smashing it right where his head was. Foyet managed to knee Hotch in the stomach and scramble away again.</p><p>"You fucking—" Aaron yelled and grabbed the man as he tried to get away, the two of them falling back onto the table, smashing it completely. Foyet got up and grabbed a glass vase, breaking it into Aaron's head. Hotch fell back as his head started to bleed.</p><p>Don't pass out. Don't let him win again. </p><p>"After I finish you, I'm going to find that little bastard son of yours. And I'm going to show him his two dead parents. And I'm going to tell him it was all your fault. And then my friend and I are going to take good care of that fiancé of yours," Foyet said and pulled out his knife. Aaron crawled around on the floor to try and get up. "I want to see what she's like—"</p><p>Aaron grabbed onto the broken table leg and swung, hitting Foyet right in the leg with it. The man fell back as Hotch got onto his feet. Aaron charged at him, slamming him into the wall. He turned the two and slammed him down to the floor. Aaron got on top of him. Hotch's fist came up and collided with George's face. The man smiled as he hit him. "I surrender."</p><p>Aaron's fist cocked back and hit him once, twice, three times.</p><p>"Aaron!" Emily said as she ran to him.</p><p>And again.</p><p>"We should have made a deal."</p><p>And again.</p><p>"Say bye to daddy, Jack," Haley said.</p><p>"Bye, daddy."</p><p>And again.</p><p>"I'm not going into the fucking program."</p><p>And again.</p><p>"You just had to tell them it was me."</p><p>And again.</p><p>He heard the ringing of the gunshot over the phone. It sent chills up his spine. The man felt the familiar pain of the knife entering his body as his fists kept hitting George. Aaron's body just took over. His fist collided with George's face over and over again.</p><p>"Hotch! Hotch!" Derek said as he pulled Hotch off of Foyet's body. The man bursting into tears as he was pulled back. George Foyet was hardly even recognizable as Aaron was pulled off. A busted lip that was turning dark purple, swollen eyes, and inflamed face.</p><p>"Aaron. Aaron, look at me," Emily said and knelt down in front of Hotch. She gently placed her hands on his cheeks and wiped his tears away—the man locking eyes with her. Emily had tears in her eyes as she looked at his fragile state. "He's gone, Aaron. He's dead. He's gone."</p><p>"Emily," Aaron said softly as he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the woman. He sobbed into her embrace. The woman placing her hand on the back of his head. "You're here."</p><p>"I'm right here. Honey, look at me. Let me see how bad you're hurt," Emily said and tried to pull back to examine Aaron, but he just held on tighter as he broke down in her arms. Emily placed a gentle kiss on Hotch's head as he sobbed. "Okay, I got you. I'm right here. I'm so sorry, Aaron."</p><p>"Jack," Aaron said and pulled away. He broke away and stood up, tumbling to the stairs. Emily followed him as he walked into the office and hesitated to open the ottoman.</p><p>"I worked the case, daddy, just like you said," Jack said. Aaron bursted into tears as he leaned over and picked up his son. The two hugging tightly as Aaron was so scared to let him go. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm okay, buddy," Aaron said and tried so hard not to sob. He pulled away from his son and smiled softly. "I want you to go outside with Emmy. Okay?"</p><p>"Come here, sweetheart," Emily said and held her hands out for Jack. The little boy running to her and embracing her. "Let's go outside. Do you want a soda? There's a big truck outside that can get you some soda."</p><p>Aaron sobbed as he stood up and walked into the room with Haley. The woman's body limp as Aaron knelt next to her. He picked her up and wrapped his arms around her as he cried. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve this. I'm sorry."</p><p>Ian sat about a block away in the van with three other men. They all watched as the police and FBI stormed into the house. Ian grabbed his flask from his pocket and sighed as he took the cap off. He lowered his window and slowly poured out a drink for George.</p><p>"Poor bastard. At least he got one thing," Ian said as he watched Emily leave the house with Jack in her arms. Not too long after, Aaron walked out, sleeves full of blood as he walked to the ambulance. "He traumatized the living shit out of him."</p><p>"After you kill her, I know George will be happy. Aaron Hotchner will have a lifetime worth of trauma," Liam said and patted the man's arm.</p><p>"I'm coming, Lauren," Ian said and smiled before taking a drink. The three other men all followed with their own flasks. "Let's get started."</p><p>"And one more question before we dismiss you," Strauss said and clasped her hands in front of her. "What would have happened if George Foyet got up from that floor? If you hadn't killed him?"</p><p>"He pulled a knife out when he and I were fighting. He threatened to kill my son. He threatened to kill Emily," Aaron said and kept his eyes down to the table. "It'd be the same outcome. He wouldn't have gotten up from that floor. I wouldn't let him hurt my family."</p><p>The room fell into silence. "That's good enough for me. Does anyone else have any other questions for Agent Hotchner?"</p><p>They all shook their heads no.</p><p>"Okay, well, you're dismissed. And please, if there's anything the bureau can do for you and your family, let us know," Strauss said and patted the table. Aaron nodded his head before walking out of the room.</p><p>He walked into the bullpen and was met with two concerned faces. Rossi and Derek stood there and sighed softly. "We realized something after your cognitive."</p><p>"What?" Aaron asked.</p><p>"You said that you heard Foyet said 'my friend and I are going to take good care of that fiancé of yours,'" Derek said and ran his hands down his pants to get rid of the sweat there. Aaron's eyes going towards the conference room where Spencer, JJ, Penelope, and Emily were all taking care of Jack.</p><p>"He has a partner?"</p><p>Aaron: "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." C.S. Lewis.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>someone wish me luck as I'm studying for two major exams that i have to finish by tuesday and i have no idea what i'm doing because i spend all day watching criminal minds 🕺</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's the fact that this book is almost at thirty chapters and it's felt like five minutes that i've been writing it👁👄👁</p><p>i'm currently sick with some kind of stomach bug so if i have to suffer so does emily🤝</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of violence, anxiety, mentions of death and mentions of smoking<br/>word count: 5574</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spencer: "The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn't one." Margaret Atwood.</p><p>It had been two weeks since Haley was killed. Emily got up at about three o'clock in the morning and had an indescribable amount of nerves in her. She carefully got up to the bathroom down the hall. When she got there, she leaned over the counter and just stared at her reflection.</p><p>Pull yourself together, Prentiss.</p><p>"Stare any longer, and you'll fall in love with yourself," Ian said and came up behind Lauren as she fixed her mascara. The woman chuckled and shook her head. He wrapped his arms around her and smiled. "You look beautiful, all day, every day."</p><p>"Thank you," Lauren said and smiled back gently at him. She opted to ignore the lingering comment in the back of her head as she looked directly at the faded black eye she sported.</p><p>Emily pulled away from the mirror and knelt down at the toilet. Her empty stomach being emptied once again as she threw up everything she had left in her. She flushed the toilet and just sat back against the bathtub.</p><p>"What is going on with you?" Emily asked and twitched as the anxious thoughts started to take over her head. She shook them off as best as she could and scavenged the cabinet for the new toothbrush and toothpaste the couple decided to leave in case guests stayed the night and needed one. Emily brushed her teeth while trying not to look at herself in the mirror. After a few minutes, she walked out and into the kitchen.</p><p>"Can't sleep?"</p><p>"Oh, Jesus!" Emily said and clutched her heart. The woman behind her covering her laughter with her hand.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Emily," Jessica, Haley's sister, had said and held her hands out. "I didn't mean to scare you."</p><p>"No, it's alright. I guess I'm just not used to someone staying in here besides Aaron," Emily said and reached back into the fridge. She grabbed herself the strawberry jam they had. "I'm guessing you can't sleep either. Jelly toast?"</p><p>"You've guessed correctly," Jessica said as she took her seat at the aisle. "Yes, please."</p><p>Emily smiled softly as she slowly made her way around the large kitchen. She popped two pieces of bread into the toaster and turned back to Jessica.</p><p>"Penny, for your thoughts?" Jessica asked and grabbed two mugs from the mug display. She walked over to the fridge and grabbed the milk carton before pouring both women just a little bit. "Are you okay to be going back to work? You look sick."</p><p>"It's just—me," Emily said and shrugged her shoulders. "This whole situation has me on my toes. When I get anxious, I throw up. I just don't know how to describe it. And I don't know if Aaron is ready also. He's been pretty heartbroken since Haley...you know."</p><p>"It's understandable. But, I am thankful every day that he finally found someone that understands this," Jessica said and sat back in her chair. Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "He deserved someone who'd understand what the job was like. That's one thing my sister never did. Yeah, he's halfway across the country, but that doesn't mean he never tried."</p><p>Emily smiled softly and leaned against the counter. She tapped her fingers against the mug in her hands. "Why did they divorce? Aaron never told me. I figured he and Haley would tell me eventually, but now I think it might scare him into thinking I'm backing out of the engagement if I ask."</p><p>"She left him," Jessica said softly. "She left a note. She packed his bags and left them there at the door for when he came home. She and Jack went off with some bartender Haley was having an affair with. She and Aaron fought tooth and nail until it was finalized in a divorce. Haley hated his job. She never was open-minded to it. But Aaron is a good dad. And was a good husband to my sister. He never told Jack the reason why they divorced. Aaron said he wanted to keep the good memories of Haley in his mind, and if, when he was older, he asked, then he would tell him."</p><p>"That is a good dad," Emily said and smiled softly. "Listen, uh, I can't thank you enough for helping us out here with Jack. Aaron and I both appreciate it."</p><p>"Anything for family," Jessica said and smiled. The toaster popped the two toasts out. Emily grabbed a plate and knife. Jessica opted to help her. "You know, I was thinking of making the four of us a big breakfast. Would you like to help me?"</p><p>"Of course," Emily said as the two cheers their toasts before taking a bite. Both humming at the plain but simple taste of strawberry jam.</p><p>The two spent the next two and a half hours chatting over some coffee. Jessica wanted to learn everything about her, seeing as though Haley never mentioned Emily at all. It was a surprise to Jessica at the funeral that Aaron had introduced his fiancé to her. She learned everything from Emily's traveling high school life to her time at Yale. She even talked about memories she had with her mother in Maine. Elizabeth was born and raised in Augusta, Maine. Haley and Jessica just so happened to grow up in a neighboring town of Portland, Maine right when Elizabeth moved out to Washington.</p><p>Eventually, the two women got around to the slow process of making Aaron and Jack's favorite choice of pancakes. Jack's, of course, had chocolate chips in them. Aaron's with blueberries. And the two women opting for plain pancakes.</p><p>Aaron walked out a little while later. He had a slight smile on his face as he heard the laughter of his fiancé and ex-sister-in-law in the kitchen. Soon, Jack was up and giving everyone big hugs and kisses.</p><p>Aaron sat back and watched the happy sight of all of them gathering everything for breakfast. He walked up to Emily and smiled as he wrapped his arms around the woman. "Good morning, honey."</p><p>"It is a good morning indeed," Aaron said and placed a passionate kiss on the woman's cheek. She smiled widely at the gesture and handed him his coffee already made. "Thank you very much."</p><p>"What did you do?" Emily asked and turned to place both his hands on his chest. He furrowed his eyebrows as Emily gave him the 'I know you're hiding something from me' look. Aaron sighed and shook his head.</p><p>He was marrying a profiler; he can't hide everything.</p><p>"I made you an appointment with the doctor's," Aaron said and took a sip of his coffee as Emily's face fell. </p><p>"Why would you do that?"</p><p>"Because, as quiet as you think you are, I still heard you get up. I'm pretty sure I have an idea of what you did since I can still smell the toothpaste," Aaron said and tilted his head. Emily sighed. "It's just a quick appointment. Okay? I just need to make sure you're alright. Maybe they can prescribe you something for nausea to help with your anxiety."</p><p>"You are lucky I love you," Emily said and shook her head. He smiled widely at the remark before kissing her hand. The four of them continued with their breakfast until Emily left for the Doctor's.</p><p>After several minutes of waiting, getting stuck with a needle for blood work, and having a flashlight waved in her mouth, ears, and eyes, Emily left with one prognosis: a stomach bug. And a tiny piece of paper scribbled with a prescription for anxiety medication.</p><p>She found herself on a train heading back to Quantico. The woman, so exhausted from not sleeping, and being on edge every waking hour, didn't expect to fall asleep on the train. She woke up to the sound of someone sitting right next to her.</p><p>"Hello, darling," Clyde said and tilted his head. "You've looked better."</p><p>"There's that charm I missed," Emily said sarcastically. She glanced around the train. It was almost empty for the middle of the morning rush.</p><p>"You don't seem surprised to see us," Tsia said and tilted her head to the side. Emily stayed quiet. "Sean was killed. He was the first one. His whole family died of a gunshot to the forehead. But again, that doesn't seem to surprise you."</p><p>"I had my own problems at home to deal with. The fact that Doyle was working with a serial killer whose sole mission was to kill my fiancé," Emily said and clenched her jaw. "That's the downside of being together with someone on your team; if one of you is a target, so is the other."</p><p>"Let me guess, he doesn't know about Doyle," Clyde said and leaned back into the chair. Emily glanced over at him before shaking her head. Tsia crossed her legs as she sat back.</p><p>"Maybe you should tell them—"</p><p>"Absolutely not. He said if I told my team about him, he'd kill them. I'm not going to gamble that he's bluffing," Emily said and looked towards the doors of the train. Just saying that out loud made her feel nauseous.</p><p>"We have to do something, Emily. Don't be an idiot," Tsia said and leaned forward, placing her hand on Emily's. The woman looked down at her hand and didn't say anything as she stood up. The doors to the train opened, and Emily walked out, leaving her two past teammates behind on the train.</p><p>"That wasn't right, Ian, and you know it!" Lauren yelled. The woman's head whipping to the side as Ian's hand raised, hitting her hard. Lauren didn't say anything as she held her cheek.</p><p>"May I remind you of your promises to me?" Ian hissed out as he grabbed Lauren by her arms. The woman tilted her head to be as far away from him as she could. "We're getting married in five months, and you're still dishonoring your future husband."</p><p>"I didn't—"</p><p>"Shut up," Ian said just above a whisper. Lauren shut her eyes as she swallowed her comments. He didn't say anything else as he threw her to the side. She fell to the floor as he walked out of the room.</p><p>"Oh, there you are! Where have you been?" Penelope asked and raced to the door and opened it for Emily. She thanked her quietly.</p><p>"I was at the Doctor's. Aaron's request since I've been all pukey lately," Emily said and sighed. She down at her desk with relief. "They found nothing wrong with me. Just a stomach bug. What's been going on with you?"</p><p>"So, I've been looking. I know the wedding planner is supposed to do all of this, but we haven't had a wedding between this group yet. So, I took matters into my own hands and was looking at dresses," Penelope said and placed the magazines down in front of Emily. "You and I both know that you love lace so, I was thinking a skin-tight mermaid dress like this one."</p><p>"Mmm, no. It needs a dip to let my cleavage breath," Emily said and shook her head. Penelope nodded in agreement. JJ walked up to the two and settled herself on Emily's desk. "I don't know about bright flowers. Hotch and I aren't the sunshine and rainbows kinda type."</p><p>"Really? You two are a bunch of softies with resting bitch faces. I'll keep looking," Penelope said and grabbed the magazine. Emily shook her head as she rested it against the chair.</p><p>"You okay? You look exhausted," JJ said and pursed her lips. The blonde woman handed her a red sports drink. She knew Emily was sick and figured a small gift would cheer her up. Emily struggled to open it when JJ grabbed it and saved her the hassle. Emily thanked her quietly as she drank three big gulps of it.</p><p>She hated being sick.</p><p>Just as she thought she might get an easy day, Aaron walked out of his office with sad eyes. The man tilted his head towards the conference room, and the team didn't hesitate to head over there.</p><p>"We have a case. Last night, two D.C. homes were torched, two families on the same night. Ron and Lauren Cosenza and their ten-year-old son were found in the master bedroom, each shot through the forehead. The gun belonged to the father," Aaron said and scanned his eyes to everyone in the room.</p><p>"Murder-suicide?" JJ asked as she looked down at the pictures.</p><p>"Possibly, but Kerry and Frank Fagan, like the Cosenzas, were found in their master bedroom from a suspected gas leak. But the pictures don't correlate to the damage a typical gas leak would cause," Spencer said shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>"Are there any connections between the families?" Morgan asked and looked up at Garcia from his tablet.</p><p>"Only one. A continent. Kerry Fagan was born in Germany. Ron Cosenza is from Italy," Penelope said, twirling the pen in her hand.</p><p>"If he sticks to the pattern, we're looking at several possible targets for tonight. Let's move," Aaron said and nodded his head as the team dispersed from the table.</p><p>Rossi and Emily headed to the first crime scene. The two walking around and examining the room. It was odd the fire didn't spread. It left almost one patch of the space perfectly fine. It just so happened that spot was under the sprinkler system.</p><p>"Do you know of any financial advisors that would need a steel panic room in their house?" Rossi asked and walked into the room. He glanced around and shook his head. "There's nothing in this room that is high tech. There are no surveillance cameras, average alarm system. This guy must have been hiding something."</p><p>"Or hiding from someone," Emily said and looked back at David. When she realized what she said, she mentally smacked herself in the forehead. "Both of these families seemed perfectly normal. What could have caused that to change?"</p><p>"A monster."</p><p>"The gas leak at the Fagan house and the other fire was suspected to be started by Mr. Cosenza to cover the murder-suicide," Aaron said and kept his hands by his sides as the medical examiner flipped through his file.</p><p>"Well, that may be what was reported but, it doesn't fit with what I found," the Medical Examiner said and handed the two men his report sheet. "What I found was that the Cosenza family didn't have smoke in their lungs. Even if the fire were started seconds before Mr. Conseza killed himself, he'd have a small trace of it. But there was nothing there. These victims were dead before the fire was started."</p><p>The elevator dinged as Emily and Rossi felt the box start to move upwards. "Garcia hasn't found any connection between the victims. But it's odd. These families, at least on paper, were perfect. But what happened to them last night was anything but that."</p><p>"There has to be something," Emily said and felt her cell phone buzz in her pocket. She pulled it out and immediately dismissed the messages. She knew it was Tsia and Clyde.</p><p>"You okay?" Rossi asked and kept his eyes straight forward.</p><p>"People text like it's not as intrusive as a phone call," Emily said, trying to calm herself down before she snapped at Rossi for no reason.</p><p>"I think you need a vacation. Weren't you talking about Italy? You and Aaron wanted to take Jack on a small tour of Europe," Rossi said and glanced over to Emily. She rolled her eyes.</p><p>"My parents extended their trip there. It wouldn't be much of a vacation. That country isn't big enough for the three of us. I don't want Aaron or Jack to see the brokenness that is my family," Emily said and sighed softly. She and Rossi walked out of the elevator and into the bullpen. Emily set her bag down. Spencer smiled over at her.</p><p>"You've been picking at your fingernails again," Spencer said and didn't look up from the files in front of him. Emily scoffed and held her hands together. "You only do that when you're really stressed."</p><p>"My life being in danger twenty-four-seven now is stressful," Emily said and tried to laugh away the feeling of anxiety that ran through her body. "It's just a bad habit."</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Emily took a sharp inhale of breath as she grabbed her phone. She excused herself before heading into the hallway. She hid out in an empty interview room as she answered the phone. "Well, nice of you to return our calls."</p><p>"I'm busy," Emily said and glanced down at her fingernails. Tsia scoffed as she and Clyde sat down. "What is it?"</p><p>"I just was calling to check if you didn't do anything stupid," Tsia said and crossed her arms.</p><p>"I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it. It'd be easier than this," Emily said and crossed her arms. Clyde shook his head.</p><p>"Emily, I told you once, I'll tell you again, you're not going to go back undercover with him. I promised you that you wouldn't get hurt when you first went in. I can't fulfill that promise a second time," Clyde said and ran his hand down his face. Emily shut her eyes and sighed. There was a knock on the door that made Emily turn. "Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident, Emily. It's over."</p><p>JJ heard that bit and furrowed her eyebrows. Emily said a quick goodbye to Clyde and Tsia before hanging up the phone. JJ squinted her eyes as she tried to read Emily. "Who's Lauren Reynolds?"</p><p>"She was a friend of mine. My high school friends from Italy called to tell me," Emily said and stuffed her phone into her pockets. "What's up?"</p><p>"Garcia and Reid found a connection between the victims. They all called this British guy named Bryon Delaney. Morgan wants you to go check it out with him," JJ said and smiled softly at Emily. She placed her hand on her arm. "I'm sorry about your friend."</p><p>"Thank you. I'll go check it out with Morgan," Emily said and patted her arm before breaking away. </p><p>It wasn't long until Emily and Derek arrived at the man's house. The lights were off. It looked like nobody was home. They both shrugged their shoulders. The two agents walked out of the car when six men walked out of the house—all wearing a plain white mask. Derek caught the machine gun in one of their hands. "Prentiss! Get down!"</p><p>Emily and Derek both shielded behind the car as a rain of bullets came firing into the vehicle. Derek and Emily both drew their weapons and waited until the shooting stopped before trying to shoot back. Right when Derek popped out from the car, the frontman shot him right in the shoulder.</p><p>"Morgan!" Emily shouted and ran to him, trying to help him.</p><p>"Go, Prentiss. Go!" Morgan said. Emily grabbed both guns and shielded behind the car. She saw the men walking with one turned towards them. Emily firing both guns. The man facing her fell back as Emily shot him right in the neck. The five men turned and were met with one pissed-off woman.</p><p>"FBI! Drop your weapons!" Emily said as the men stopped. All of them raised their weapons. Emily ducked behind a car as she waited for the hail of bullets to stop. Once they did, she quickly got up and fired three shots. One hit the man's leg, and then his shoulder, and finally right on his spine. He crawled to get to the group.</p><p>The four remaining men all ran towards their van. The one man who was wounded yelled at them to wait. One of the men turned and shot him right in the wrist and again in the head. They all piled into the van as Emily finally got to them. They shut the door before they sped off down the streets of Washington.</p><p>"Damn it!" Emily yelled before making her way back to Derek. The man was propped up against the car, holding his shoulder. "Derek? Derek? Can you hear me?"</p><p>"I'm fine. I just can't move my arm," Derek said and groaned as he tried to move it. Emily dialed nine-one-one and the rest of the team as she held onto Derek. Within minutes, everyone was on that street.</p><p>"What happened?" Aaron asked and walked up to Emily. The woman engulfed him in a hug. He shut his eyes as he savored this one sweet moment of peace the two of them had. "Are you hurt?"</p><p>"There were six of them. I managed to take down two before they got into the car and sped off, but Morgan got hit, so I just left one of them down by the corner of the street," Emily said and tried to calm herself down as Hotch pulled away from the hug. "God, I'm going to be sick."</p><p>"Well, whatever was tattooed on the guy, it's obvious they didn't want us to see it. Right wrist. Looks like some sort of clover or something. Reid's looking into it right now," Rossi said as he and JJ walked up to the two. "How's Morgan?"</p><p>"He'll be fine. The bullet landed on the padding of the vest. It didn't hit him," JJ said. Aaron held onto Emily tightly by her waist. She was in her own little world as everyone talked around her. Reid walked up to them minutes later with a sketchbook and pen in hand.</p><p>"I got it," Reid said and handed the agents the notepad. Emily knew that tattoo. She spent years looking at it. The contents of her stomach threatened to come back up, but she suppressed it.</p><p>"Why don't you get one?" Ian asked and glanced over at Lauren. The woman was flipping a magazine as the tattoo machine buzzed in the background. Lauren shook her head.</p><p>"Two is enough ink for me," Lauren said as Ian walked up to her. He pulled the magazine from her hands and pulled her in for a kiss.</p><p>"Rossi, Reid, and Morgan, stay behind here and try to find something useful. I need to have a meeting in the SCIF," Aaron said, pulling Emily along with him. JJ pulled the short end of the straw and had to tag along with them. The agents all piled back into their cars before heading back to Quantico. Emily was silent the entire car ride.</p><p>They almost killed Derek. She almost lost Derek.</p><p>Aaron noticed the woman's troubled mind and reached his hand over, placing it right in Emily's. The woman holding onto it tightly as she looked out the window. That was a sign to Aaron to leave the matter alone. She didn't need more questions asked.</p><p>The team broke off into their own ways. Emily slipped into the bullpen and sighed as she looked out at the nighttime sky.</p><p>"You okay?" JJ asked from behind her. Emily nodded and just kept her eyes on the sky. JJ didn't buy it. Something was troubling her.</p><p>"When I was a kid, whenever I would get anxious, I'd go outside and look at the stars. I think that's how I got so interested in the constellations," Emily said and smiled to herself. "I always felt like they were magical. Like a guardian or something."</p><p>"You aren't alone on that one. The nighttime sky calms me down," JJ said and stood right next to Emily as the two stared out at the stars. "If I just listened, they'd guide me to where I needed to go. Even ease a mind racing a million miles an hour."</p><p>"Are you telling me to follow the stars?" Emily asked and chuckled. JJ put her hands up defensively.</p><p>"All I'm saying is, you're acting a little off. And if you can't talk to anyone here, talk to the stars," JJ said and chuckled. Her hands making a sparkling affect for emphasis. "That's what my sister use to say. If I followed them, I'd make my way back to my grounding state. I'd find serenity in them. So let them guide you to be the best solution."</p><p>"What if I don't have any solutions?" Emily asked and kept her eyes straight ahead.</p><p>"Then the person or thing that's destined to happen will be at the other end looking for you too," JJ said softly. Emily looked over at JJ as the woman looked straight ahead. "Listen, Em. I haven't been able to talk to. I still—"</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Both shut their eyes as the phone rang. Emily grabbed her cellphone and excused herself. She ran down the hall towards an empty interview room.</p><p>Aaron walked by and saw Emily on the phone. She looked shocked, surprised as she clutched her heart. He furrowed his eyebrows and opened the door. Emily looked back and slacked her jaw.</p><p>"Okay, thank you. I'll call later about it," Emily said and looked everywhere but at Hotch. He raised an eyebrow as Emily hung up the phone. "Oh, it was just Jessica. She was wondering when we'd be home."</p><p>"Alright. Uh, we have a name. Ian Doyle," Aaron said and held the door open for Emily. The woman's stomach was churning at the name.</p><p>He was going to kill them now that they knew.</p><p>"Honey, wait," Emily said and stood right in front of the man. She looked up at him with a smile and ran her hands over his chest. Aaron was about to question it when she pulled him down by his tie. The man grabbing onto her waist as they kissed passionately. Emily never wanted to let go of him. The two needing air and pulled away from the other. "I realized I hadn't kissed you today. Anyways, you were saying?"</p><p>"Right, um, was Doyle on your radar when you were at Interpol?" Aaron asked as they walked into the bullpen. "Do you know of anyone that could have had direct contact with him?"</p><p>"I'd have to ask around. He was serving in Russia, right?" Emily asked. JJ turned with some files in her hands.</p><p>"Actually, no, there are no papers for his time there. His entire sentence must have been served out from another prison," JJ said and handed Emily the documents. She was right. Then where the hell was he?</p><p>"We just came from Delaney's house, and look what we found," Derek said and handed the agents a folder. Inside there was a picture of all the victims posing with military weapons outside a prison in North Korea.</p><p>"We can compare these to the paperwork from his arrest at his Tuscan Villa. Maybe there are even photographs so we can send a warning out that he's on a killing spree of people that locked him away," JJ said and glanced around at all of her teammates.</p><p>Emily felt like throwing up.</p><p>"North Korea?" Emily said as she threw her phone down on the empty interview room table. "You didn't bother to tell me that he was in North Korea! What else are you not telling me? Send me that fucking file right now, Clyde, or I swear to God."</p><p>"That's it," Clyde said and sat back. He grabbed the folder from the side table.</p><p>"Tsia, get him off the phone," Emily said and clenched her jaw. Clyde threw his hands up in surrender as he got up and went towards the fax machine in their rented outhouse. Tsia followed Emily and placed the phone to her ear. "You cannot trust him. Do you remember ninth street? Corelli's? How the door works? He's still there. You're safer on your own."</p><p>"Got it," Tsia said and grabbed her coat. Clyde waved her off. All three agents now not knowing who to trust. Someone turned him in. There was a mole in the team. Emily walked out of the room and towards the fax room. "Be careful."</p><p>"You too," Emily said before hanging up the phone. The paper printed from the machine, and Emily walked out of the room heading towards the conference room.</p><p>Tsia didn't take long to get to ninth street. She knocked three times on the door before looking through the peephole. When she did, there was a small puff of air before blood was dripping down her face. She tried to keep upright but ultimately fell back. Doyle opened the door and clenched his jaw at the woman.</p><p>"You tell them anything about me. I'll kill a member of your team."</p><p>He never specified which team. Because he listed off the BAU's agents, Emily assumed that would be the team he was referring to. But that wasn't the case. It was free range of all of Emily's previous teams.</p><p>Emily gulped and tried to suppress her urge to throw up as she glanced at Tsia's lifeless body right in front of her. She did this. This was on her hands now. She mumbled about needing fresh air before pushing her way through the crowd. Emily barely made it outside as she pulled her hair back and threw up her stomach contents onto the pavement. She coughed up the bit that was stuck in her throat.</p><p>"You okay?" Derek asked and stood a little bit behind her. Emily nodded and cleared her throat.</p><p>"Listen. I live about five minutes from here. Can we just run by and let me freshen up?"</p><p>"Okay, let's make it quick," Derek said as the two got into the car. In record timing, he and Emily got to the apartment. Emily practically ran in and up to their house. Jessica and Jack were at the park for their usual afternoon walk. Emily grabbed a chair and took it into the closet. She stood on top of it and grabbed the small bag. Emily grabbed the ring and took a deep breath.</p><p>"I love you more than anything. Let's get married," Ian said as Lauren played with the necklace in her hands. The woman was shocked entirely. "Say yes, please."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Emily didn't think twice as she flushed it down the toilet. She quickly brushed her teeth and grabbed the key from inside her safe before shutting it. Emily was in and out of the apartment in under two minutes.</p><p>She and Derek walked into the bullpen while Aaron stood at the front. He was speaking sternly and authoritatively like he usually did. "The agents responsible for putting away Ian Doyle have all been warned and currently being put into protective custody as we await—"</p><p>Emily's eyes scanned the bullpen with her team members and the local police department in there. Her eyes landing on Penelope. She looked so focused as to what Hotch was saying.</p><p>"I wouldn't mind being your sister-in-law," Penelope said mindlessly.</p><p>"I'm Penelope. It's nice to meet you finally."</p><p>Emily's eyes trailed towards Spencer. He nodded his head as he listened to the profile being given.</p><p>"It means you're a bottom," Spencer commented and held back his laughter.</p><p>"Oh, hi. I'm Doctor Spencer Reid. It's nice to meet you."</p><p>Emily looked around the room before her eyes landed on David.</p><p>"Happy birthday!" David said and grabbed Emily's face, kissing both of her cheeks.</p><p>"Dave, this is SSA Emily Prentiss. Emily, this is SSA David Rossi."</p><p>"Hey," Derek said and made Emily look at him. The man turned back to look at her. "You good?"</p><p>"I want you here. If you need to remember anything, remember that," Derek said</p><p>"You must be Emily Prentiss. I'm Derek. Derek Morgan."</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good," Emily said and smiled softly at Derek. He nodded his head slightly before he turned his attention back to Aaron.</p><p>Emily looked over towards the front of the room. Her eyes landed on blonde hair.</p><p>"Do you want to say hi to Auntie Emmy?" JJ said to Henry.</p><p>"Emily Prentiss? Hi! I'm Jennifer Jareau. I'm the communications liaison for the BAU. I'll go ahead and show you around."</p><p>And finally, Emily looked directly at her fiancé.</p><p>"It's good to see you again. I hope you're having a good time at Yale," a young Aaron said shyly with his hands behind his back.</p><p>"Will you marry me?"</p><p>"I love you, Emily Prentiss. I won't let anything happen to you."</p><p>Emily's eyes filled with tears as she did one last look around at her team members. Mentally, she said goodbye to all of them. She slowly backed out of the bullpen before turning around and walking out the door undetected.</p><p>This was her fight, not theirs.</p><p>Emily: "Confessions is always weakness. The grave soul keeps its own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence." Dorothea Dix.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>salem still doesn't understand any of the work she has to be doing for class 🕺</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>by far my favorite storyline ever on criminal minds. i just wish they did more of a background into lauren and ian's relationship but worry not! i'll handle that in a few chapters🥰</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: mentions of death, violence, swearing, gun violence, physical abuse, mentions of smoking, torture<br/>word count: 6380</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily: "I am the blood of the dragon. I must be strong. I must have fire in my eyes when I face them, not tears." George R.R. Martin.</p><p>"I got four names on the bottom of the list Prentiss gave us," Derek said and walked up to the board with the note in his hand. "Luke Renault. Lawrence Riley. Lilia Rafferty. Lyle Rogers."</p><p>"Is it a coincidence that they're all with the initials L.R.?" Garcia asked and looked around at her team. Hotch shook his head.</p><p>"The CIA uses cryptograms like that to assign to non-official cover agents," Aaron said and turned towards Garcia. His arms crossed as his mind raced with possibilities. "Those last four names are spies."</p><p>"Wait. Let me see that paper again," Penelope said. Derek handed her the paper. She shook her head. "See, this is wrong. There shouldn't be a space right there. This is a spreadsheet template. This row would only be there if something were typed there. There's a missing name on here."</p><p>"Another spy, whose cover starts with L.R. like the rest on the template," Spencer said and crossed his arms.</p><p>"Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident, Emily. It's over."</p><p>JJ furrowed her eyebrows as she leaned against Emily's desk. "Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident, Emily. It's over."</p><p>"What?" Aaron asked and looked back at JJ.</p><p>"Emily was on the phone when I went to get her so you guys could go to Delaney's. The person on the other line said that Lauren Reynolds had died in a car accident. It didn't sound grievous or sorrowful. It sounded like he was reminding her," JJ said and kept her eyes to the floor as she retracted the call over and over. "Is it possible that Emily is that last name on the list?"</p><p>"Where's Emily?" Aaron asked and looked around the bullpen. Derek furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"She was right behind me when you were giving the profile," Derek said and glanced around the entire bullpen.</p><p>"I got it," JJ said and grabbed her phone. She dialed Emily's number and waited for her to answer. But instead, the ringing came from inside her desk. Aaron opened it and found her phone, gun, badge, and engagement ring all there. His heart dropped as he saw everything. Rossi stopped him right as he was about to run out of the bullpen to go find her.</p><p>"Aaron. Aaron!" Rossi said and tried to bring the man back down to his senses. Morgan helped at restraining Hotch.</p><p>"I'm not going to stand here, Dave, as she goes and kills herself! I'm going to find her," Aaron yelled and tried to get out of the two men's grips.</p><p>"Where is she going? Do you know? Hotch, we need the profile to find her," Derek said and sat him down against her desk. "We cannot go in there without it."</p><p>"You're not going to find her blindly. She's a trained spy. She's good at disappearing," Rossi said and finally let go as Aaron settled down. The rest of the team was quiet as they all took a minute.</p><p>"That doesn't make sense. Why would she run? We're her family. We could help," Spencer said just above his breath.</p><p>"Doyle's killing families. He must have made a threat to her in some way. Maybe he was ready to target any one of us. She ran to protect us," Rossi said, his eyes going to Aaron. "To protect you and Jack. She needed to run."</p><p>JJ said as tears filled her eyes. "He's going to kill her. She's the only person on that list that doesn't have a bullet in their head. Why save her for last?"</p><p>"He's going to take his time with her," Derek said as he shut his eyes. A million emotions were running through all of their heads. Everyone was shouting in their minds but didn't say a word in reality.</p><p>"We have to find her," Penelope said as tears escaped her eyes.</p><p>Emily found herself in Boston. She made to stop at the storage unit she kept on the side of town. There Emily got what she needed: A Mac-10 and an entire stash of ammunition and flash-bang grenades. She may have ran, but she wasn't going down without a fight.</p><p>The woman sat in her car and waited patiently for any sign of the man. That's when he saw him. Jack Fahey. Emily watched him get out of his car and into the pub. Now was her time to act. She grabbed her gun and ammunition before getting over to his car.</p><p>"You'll have to pay for this! I use to run this place! You don't know who you're messing with!" Fahey yelled as he was practically thrown out of the bar about fifteen minutes later. He spat at the two security guards' feet before walking off to his car. The man stepped inside and sighed before trying to start the vehicle.</p><p>"Battery's dead, Fahey," Emily said and pointed the gun to him. He jumped in the driver's seat. He came face to face with the woman he hadn't seen in years.</p><p>"Lauren, sweetheart! How have you been?" Fahey asked and chuckled nervously. Emily tilted her head to the side as the man literally started to sweat because of the gun to his neck.</p><p>"Where's Doyle, Jack," Emily asked and clenched her jaw.</p><p>"Doyle? I haven't seen that guy in years!" Fahey said. Emily didn't even crack a smile. "He came to me asking for some locals. Just some deadbeats."</p><p>"Any surprises?"</p><p>"No. Hey Lauren, why don't you ease up on that gun, honey. We can talk this out," Fahey said and smiled as widely as he could at her through his review. "I can help you. What are you going to do? Take out Doyle by yourself?"</p><p>"What are you going to do? Tell him?" Emily asked as she took the safety off. Fahey's eyes widened as she placed her finger on the trigger.</p><p>"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Fahey yelled as Emily shot him straight through the ear. He screamed in pain as Emily got out of the car and back into hers. The man driving off the second she was out. Emily shook her head as she got back in her vehicle.</p><p>She kept her eye on the bar.</p><p>"Lauren Reynolds, this is the guy I told you about," Fahey said and gestured to Ian. The man instantly fell in love with the sight of her. She smiled and stuck out her hand.</p><p>"Gave me everything but a name," Lauren said and shook his hand.</p><p>"Ian Doyle. Pleasure. Truly," he said and shooed off Fahey as the two of them sat at the table. Lauren smiled as she dropped her cigarette in the ashtray.</p><p>"I got something!" JJ yelled as she ran into the room. "So I have a couple of contacts in the state department. I asked him for some favors, and they faxed this over. He couldn't give me Emily's full CIA history, but he did give me this."</p><p>She clicked on the remote in her hands and turned to see the spreadsheet of Emily's history. All of their eyes followed as the black squares were removed from the texts.</p><p>"She went undercover as Lauren Reynolds. She was part of a special task called JTF-twelve. Doyle was their last case. And now the JTF is on his hit list," JJ said and clicked to show all the pictures. "Sean McAllister was the first victim. He was the one that brought the JTF into work on the Doyle case. He was murdered last week in Brussels with his wife and two daughters. Tsia Mosely of France's DCRI. After she caught wind of Sean's death, she fled to DC before being killed by Doyle. The only one left is team leader Clyde Easter with the British SIS. He's in the wind, but he was here in DC at the time of Tsia's death."</p><p>"Who was undercover on Doyle?" Spencer asked and looked up at JJ. She sighed softly.</p><p>"Emily. They did a deep dive into Doyle's personal life, including his romantic relationships. Emily was his type," JJ said and clenched her jaw. The woman setting down the remote. Hotch subconsciously played with her engagement ring in his pocket.</p><p>"Derek. Dave. Go check the apartment to see if she left any clues as to where she's headed. She was in a rush. She'd make a mistake," Aaron said and walked off without another word. The two men nodded before grabbing their things and leaving.</p><p>It didn't take long for them to get into the apartment. "Emily asked you to stop here yesterday?"</p><p>"Yeah, I guess to get whatever she needed before she left," Derek said and sighed. "I don't understand this, Rossi. How could she just leave us all behind? Especially after what Hotch just went through a few weeks ago."</p><p>"I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she didn't have a choice. Doyle went to a great length to try and cover his tracks. If Emily exposed that, it would have forced him to make a move. She did the probable smart thing by going to him. She's just trying to save us, Derek," Rossi said and looked around their bedroom. He noticed the chair in the closet and got up on it. That's when Rossi saw the safe full of different passports and a blue bag. He grabbed it and opened it. Nothing was inside.</p><p>"She left without saying goodbye," Derek said softly and opened the cabinets to the entertainment system in the master bedroom.</p><p>"She knew we'd all fight tooth and nail for her not to go," Dave said and got down from the chair. He walked towards the bathroom. That's when he saw the piece of jewelry in the toilet. "Well, I'll be damned."</p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>"It's a gimmel ring," Rossi said and showed it to Hotch back at the BAU. "The husband and wife to be wear individual bands before they connect. This had to be from Doyle."</p><p>"She was married to him?" Aaron asked and clenched his jaw.</p><p>"I'm not the marrying type."</p><p>Now it made sense.</p><p>"Sir, I just got a hit off of one of Clyde Easter's covers. He's on a flight heading to Boston," Penelope said as she ran into the room.</p><p>"Tell Boston PD to have him detained the moment he steps off the plane. Grab the rest of the team. We're all going to Boston," Aaron said before Derek and Rossi walked out of the room. This just made the situation a whole lot worse.</p><p>Emily sat still in her car. The woman keeping her eye firmly on the door. Her phone beeped from beside her. She glanced down at it and saw it was a voicemail from Penelope. Emily debated whether or not to hear it, but she did.</p><p>"Hey, it's me. I know you dumped your cellphone, so I'm trying old numbers, and I have no idea if this is even going to reach you but, I wanted to try at least. I have the rest of the team here. Emily, if you're out there, come home, please. God, Emily, what did you think? That we would just stop looking for you? We wouldn't rest until we did. You can't seriously think that we would have just let you walk out of our lives? I am so furious at you right now!" Penelope said and held together her tears. Emily shut her eyes at the yelling. "But I can't be because I think about how scared you must be, how you're in some dark place all alone. But I'm here to remind you, Emily Prentiss, that you're not alone. We are in that dark place with you. We are waving flashlights and calling your name. If you can, please come home. But if you can't, then you stay alive."</p><p>"We're coming, Emily, hang tight," Rossi said.</p><p>"Please don't do anything stupid, Emily," Derek said.</p><p>"We love you a lot. Don't antagonize him, please," Spencer said.</p><p>"Emily, please don't do anything. We'll find you. I promise you that," JJ said.</p><p>"I love you. Stay put, for me, please. I love you so much," Aaron said.</p><p>"We're coming," Penelope said before the voicemail ended. Emily wiped away her tears as she threw down her phone. Just as she was about to leave, Doyle walked out. Some of the men piling into the car. Emily took a deep breath.</p><p>He's going to kill them. Move-in now.</p><p>Emily placed the earplugs in and grabbed the Mac-10. She mentally said her goodbyes to the team before stepping out of her car. She walked towards them before picking up her gun and shooting out the back windows. Emily ducked as she threw the grenade into the vehicle. There was a big bang before the men stormed out of the car, coughing up smoke.</p><p>"Where's Doyle? I only want Doyle!" Emily yelled and aimed her gun at the men.</p><p>"Right here, love," Doyle said, making Emily turn around. Right when she did, he shot her twice in the chest. She fell back, gasping for air. Doyle chuckled as he walked up to her. He leaned over and undid her coat. A bulletproof vest. "Always prepared."</p><p>He grabbed her by her arms and pulled her up, and slammed her against the car. One of his soldiers handed him handcuffs. The man smiled as he put them on her. Emily clenched her jaw as he threw her in the backseat.</p><p>"Are you going to...take care of me?" Lauren asked softly. Doyle didn't even look at her as he nodded his head. She smiled widely and threw her arms around him. "Good."</p><p>The man held onto her as she kissed him frantically. They both didn't want to let the other go as they kissed. Ian was the one that pulled away. Lauren didn't want to break the kiss. "Hey, hey. I have something for you."</p><p>"Mmm, what's that?" Lauren asked and smiled. Her dimple was popping out. He reached into his jacket and pulled out the necklace.</p><p>"I don't know what kind of life we're going to have together. But one thing is for certain. I want you in my life," Ian said as he handed her the necklace.</p><p>"Drive, Liam," Ian said and looked over at the woman. She clenched her jaw as the car sped off.</p><p>Meanwhile, the rest of the team landed in Boston and headed to the local police department. Aaron didn't waste any time as he stormed into the interrogation room. Clyde sat there with his arms crossed.</p><p>"Where is she?" Aaron asked with his jaw clenched. Clyde glanced up and down at Aaron.</p><p>"You must be the fiancé," Clyde said and tilted his head to the side. "I've heard a lot about you. Lacking manners wasn't one of them."</p><p>"I didn't come here to make small talk. I'm trying to find Emily," Aaron said and walked up to Clyde. The British man scoffed and held his hard stare with Hotch. "Now, where is she."</p><p>"You say that like I would know. In case you haven't noticed, she's a secretive woman," Clyde said and stood up.</p><p>"You were the team leader. You should know everything about her," Aaron said and kept his harsh stare. Clyde scoffed.</p><p>"Everyone is entitled to have their own secrets," Clyde said and sat back down, making Aaron's blood boiled. "Now, someone call the British consulate."</p><p>"It takes a skilled sociopath to sell his team to the man who wants them all dead. If you cooperate and we save Emily, then maybe we can talk about a deal," Aaron said and towered over the man. "But, if anything happens to her, I will destroy you. You can count on that. I'll find her with or without you."</p><p>"Agent Hotchner. You took an oath to protect the laws of your country, and I took one to protect the secrets of mine," Clyde said. Aaron slowly sat down on the table. "Do you know what you're asking for?"</p><p>"I know it won't be—"</p><p>"I'll do it. But you need to understand. There's no catching that man. He'll escape from your prison as easily as he did North Korea, and then all hell breaks loose," Clyde said and sighed. "If you want to stop that man, you'll have to put a bullet between his eyes, yourself. Can you do that? Can you break your oath?"</p><p>"No, I can't," Aaron said softly.</p><p>"Then can you make a new one? Swear to me that you'll save her?" Clyde said and leaned forward.</p><p>"Yes. I swear," Aaron said as the two locked eyes.</p><p>"Then let's get started," Clyde said as the two stood up.</p><p>Emily was escorted inside the building. Liam threw her down in a chair as he and Doyle tied up the woman. Emily tried her hardest to fight the restraints, but it was no use. Doyle chuckled at her attempt.</p><p>Liam knelt down in front of her and placed his hands on Emily's ankle. The woman's jaw locked as he felt the gun on her ankle. Liam disarmed her before getting up. Ian nodded at him before he left.</p><p>"Since when do you carry two guns?" Ian said and tilted his head at Emily. He chuckled as Emily clenched her jaw. The memories of the man assaulting her came back in flashes before Aaron got there. "Where's that kind, gentle woman I fell in love with?"</p><p>Ian placed his hand right on Emily's cheek. The familiar touch made Emily's stomach churn. He caressed her cheek softly as she tore her eyes away and looked anywhere else. "She's not here."</p><p>"Aaron Hotchner must have changed you a lot, then," Doyle said and clenched his jaw.</p><p>"I don't show my gentle and loving side to someone who's not my fiancé. He brought out the best in me. The part you couldn't handle," Emily said through her teeth. The man stopped his touch for a second. Emily turned her head to look at him in the eye when his hand came up and smacked her right across the face. She shut her eyes and tried to control her anger.</p><p>"The best in you? The best in you had a child killed?" Ian yelled and grabbed Emily by her arms. "Answer me!"</p><p>"Answer me!" Ian yelled as he slammed Lauren against a mirror. The glass was shattering behind her. "Who was it you were talking to?"</p><p>"My best friend! She just landed in Brussels and wanted to tell me about the trip. Now get your hands off of me!" Lauren yelled and tried to break free of his grip.</p><p>Emily tried to get out of the restraints. Ian pulled away as she tried to jump at him. She's had years of built-up anger boiling inside of her. Ian's blood boiled. Liam walked back into the room with what looked to be a more complex tattoo machine.</p><p>"Let's call that lover of yours. I want him to hear as you scream," Ian said and dialed the number. He handed the phone to Liam as he grabbed the cart.</p><p>"Hotchner," Aaron said as he answered the phone.</p><p>"Aaron!" Emily yelled and tried to get up. Ian held her down. Aaron's eyes widened. "Aaron, help me! He's at fif—"</p><p>Doyle covered Emily's mouth and laughed as she tried to fight him off. Aaron placed the phone on speaker.</p><p>"Ian, if you do anything to her, I swear to God," Aaron said and balled his hands into fists. The man was in a world of anger. The team all stayed quiet to try and see if they could hear anything over the phone.</p><p>"Are you sure you want to threaten me? Remember the last time you got a call like this?" Ian taunted. Aaron clenched his jaw. "My good friend, George Foyet, is still haunting you from his grave."</p><p>"So you're the friend," Aaron said and tried to keep his composure. Ian chuckled on the phone. Liam nodded his head. Doyle stood behind Emily as he undid the woman's shirt.</p><p>"I'm going to make sure you can never look at her the same again," Ian said and placed the pen right on Emily's left breast. The woman was screaming in agony as the heat melted her skin. Aaron shut his eyes and tried to calm himself down. "The more you fight, the more this will hurt."</p><p>"Stop! Stop! You son of a bitch!" Emily yelled as tears seeped out of her eyes. He only presses down the pen harder. Emily couldn't say anything, just yell as the man branded her. "Aaron! JJ! Derek!"</p><p>"They can't help you now," Doyle said and smiled cynically. Emily's entire body felt weak as he melted away her skin. Once he was finished, he set down the pen and grabbed the phone. "She's one of mine forever now."</p><p>Emily looked down and saw the clover on her breast. Her breathing picked up as tears of anger built up into her eyes. "I'll kill you, bastard."</p><p>"I have to go. My love is waiting for me," Ian said and smiled. "Now, the next question for you to think about is: will she be cremated or buried? Your choice, I'll just send a card of condolences."</p><p>Aaron was so close to absolutely losing it as the phone call went dead. His fists were so tight they made his whole hand white.</p><p>"What did he do to her?" Penelope asked with tears in her eyes.</p><p>"He branded her," Clyde said softly. His eyes kept down to the floor as he could practically hear the sound of each member's heartbreaking. "He made all of his associates get tattoos of the clover. Hers is more permanent than any tattoo."</p><p>The entire room fell silent as the ringing of Emily's screams echoed in all of their minds. Aaron's especially. If he could, he'd go door to door and find her himself. But he didn't have that kind of time.</p><p>"We still haven't found a connection between who Doyle was as a terrorist versus as a family annihilator. Visibly it seems like day and night between the two," Derek said, his voice low as he broke the silence.</p><p>"Well, typically, family annihilators have romanized views of who their family is," Spencer said and shrugged his shoulders. Clyde shook his head.</p><p>"He was an orphan," Clyde said.</p><p>"They think of family as their possession until some loss shatters that," Derek said and leaned against the table.</p><p>"There had to be a trigger. Something that Emily knew about. Did Doyle have any children?" JJ asked.</p><p>"No. There would have been documentation on it," Clyde said and sat down right next to Garcia.</p><p>"We're all entitled to secrets," Aaron repeated. Clyde looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Say Doyle did have a child. It's a possibility that Emily knew about them. They were married. He could only keep it a secret for so long."</p><p>"Then why would she keep it from me?" Clyde asked and looked around at the team, who all were now getting antsier.</p><p>"Because she's entitled to secrets," Aaron said and shook his head. "Garcia."</p><p>"Already on it," Penelope said and immediately started typing away.</p><p>"I know what you want," Emily said and looked up at him as he grabbed his gun. He stopped and looked down at her. "You want Lauren Reynolds back. I can do that. I can be her."</p><p>"You think that will save your skin?" Ian asked and clenched his fists. Emily had tears in her eyes. "I have no illusions. But, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being afraid to look over my shoulders. I'm tired, Ian. I left my ring, and I left—I left Aaron and my team. It can go back to the way it was before. Please just leave them alone. Anything you do to me, I accept. But leave them out of it."</p><p>"It can't go back to how it was before, and you know that," Ian said and shook his head. Emily tried her hardest to get out of the restraints.</p><p>"I forgive you for everything you've done," Emily said as tears left her eyes. "I forgive you for smacking me right in front of Declan that one time we were late to dinner for two minutes. I forgive you for that one time you got so mad at me for asking about your business that you burnt me with your cigarette. I forgive you for the time you shook with anger because I told you I didn't want to get married. I just thank God I emptied to kitchen drawers of knives or else you would have killed me—"</p><p>Ian had heard enough and wrapped both of his hands around Emily's neck. He squeezed the woman's throat so tightly she couldn't breathe. She tried to free her hands but nothing. The last sight she'd see was Ian's face of pure anger.</p><p>"You're just looking for a way to save yourself. You can't get into my head anymore. I should have just killed you when Liam said to! I regret every day not killing you. Maybe my son would have still been alive if I had. I should have never told you about him," Ian hissed out. Emily nodded her head as best as she could. The woman was about to pass out from lack of air.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Ian said softly as Lauren climbed on top of him. The sheet slipped off the woman's body as she was fully exposed to him. She smiled before leaning down and kissing him.</p><p>Ian let go of her as the memories came rolling in. Emily coughed loudly and panted for air as Ian pulled away. "I'm sorry, love."</p><p>Emily tried to hide her quiet sobs. Visions of the man's face like that in different situations flooded her head. She hated him for putting his hands on her.</p><p>"Confess to me, and this can all be over," Ian said and aimed the gun right at Emily. She shut her eyes as she felt the barrel right against her head.</p><p>"Take me to where he died. I want to see it," Emily said softly. Tears slipped out of her eyes as she waited for the bullet. Ian simply put the safety of the gun back on. He undid her restraints. Emily tried to keep calm as he pulled her to her feet, cuffing her hands in front of her.</p><p>"You can't get me!" Declan yelled and ran around the living room with Emily. The woman was chasing after the boy slowly. Ian walked in and smiled at the two playing.</p><p>"Oh, I'm going to get you!" Lauren said and picked up the boy. She peppered kisses right along his cheek.</p><p>Ian led her in the room and pulled her back to him by her shirt. His breath right by her ear. "I didn't talk for two years. The North Koreans used everything against me. It wasn't until they showed me these that I started to weep."</p><p>Ian showed Emily the pictures of Declan and Louise being shot. Emily gulped loudly. Doyle didn't say anything as he pushed her towards the corner where Declan died. Emily's face was colliding with the wall. Doyle pulled his gun out and aimed it at Emily.</p><p>"There's something you don't know about those photos."</p><p>"I got him!" Penelope yelled. "I matched Irish immigration records with the timeline, and only one boy fits. Declan Jones—"</p><p>"Declan. Declan Jones," he said and fidgeted in his seat. "Tommy is on the basketball team with me. We go to the park every Saturday to play."</p><p>"He lived in Reston," Derek said and looked over at Aaron. The man furrowed his eyebrows. "It was Emily's birthday, and we had the kidnapping case in Reston. JJ went into labor. One of the friends of the boy kidnapped was Declan Jones. Hotch, he was right in front of me."</p><p>"Where is he now?" Aaron asked and leaned over to look at Garcia's computer. The woman's eyebrows furrowed as she unsealed a file. It was pictures of Declan and Louise being shot. "That's not right. He saw him two years ago."</p><p>"They were staged," JJ said as she looked back at Clyde. The man was trying so hard to process everything. "Garcia, try and find the warehouse. If this is about revenge, the chances are that Doyle is going to kill Emily there."</p><p>"I got it! Fifteen eighteen Adams street," Penelope said. Aaron and Derek were immediately gathering everyone to get them going.</p><p>"After your arrest, I relocated Louise and Declan to the states. And then I got a call. Interpol had sent back our profile, and they wanted more dirt on you to break you. I couldn't let them find Declan. The things they would have done to him to get you to talk. It wasn't right to get him involved. But they were going to find him if I didn't do something," Emily said and gulped as the man visibly got angrier. "I had to end his suffering before it could begin."</p><p>Ian couldn't contain it anymore and smacked Emily across the face with the barrel of his gun. She fell back and now had a gash on her cheek. He grabbed her and threw her against the wall. "You put him in that profile. What else did you do?"</p><p>"I put him in the profile after the pictures were taken," Emily said and winced as he slammed her against the wall.</p><p>"You don't know when those pictures were taken. You don't know that," Doyle said. Emily chuckled nervously.</p><p>"Yes, I do. I didn't just tell them about Declan, I'm the one holding the gun in the picture," Emily said and watched as his eyes filled with anger. He yelled as he slammed Emily into a storage unit in the room. Ian pushed her to the floor. Emily fell and tried to get to her feet when he kicked her right in the nose. The woman's vision was getting fuzzy.</p><p>"He's nothing like you. You're nothing but a coward who hits women when they don't cooperate. He's nothing you!" Emily said through her teeth. Ian's blood was boiling as he kicked Emily right in the chest.</p><p>"He's alive?" Ian shouted as he crouched down to grab Prentiss, bringing her to her feet again.</p><p>"You really didn't know me if you thought I had the guts to murder a child," Emily said and clenched her jaw. Ian's blood boiled. He yelled as he threw Emily against the wall. Emily tried to fight back, but he hit her to the ground.</p><p>"Where is he?" Ian asked as he panted for air. Emily looked up at him and only cocked her head to the side as a taunt. He kicked her right in the nose. Emily fell back and tried to sit up. Ian didn't hesitate to pull out his gun. He aimed it right at her.</p><p>Emily smiled cynically as she leaned forward, placing the end of the gun right against her forehead. She locked eyes with Doyle.</p><p>"Do it," Emily hissed. She laughed as the man clenched his jaw. "You pull that trigger, and you'll never find him."</p><p>Ian yelled as he smacked Emily right across the face. The woman had flashes of her son take over her vision, and that was all she needed to fight back. Emily scrambled to her feet and managed to hit Doyle in the stomach as he charged at her. She grabbed him and wrapped her cuffed arms around his neck, locking him into a hold.</p><p>"You said you don't bow to anyone," Emily said and kicked the man behind his knee. He fell to his knees and groaned as Emily's grip around his neck tightened. "Now you do because I beat you, Ian! Even before you got out of North Korea. I beat you! Because I gave Declan his life back! I saved him from his monster of a father!"</p><p>The lights were cut out, and Emily smiled.</p><p>They found her. </p><p>Right when she loosened her hold, Doyle pushed the two of them back onto a table in the room. The table shattered under both of their weight. Emily got up and grabbed the broken off wooden leg. She hit Ian with it, one, two, three times before dropping it. Emily was about to run for it when Ian grabbed it and launched it right into her stomach. Emily's eyes widened as she groaned in pain, and she fell to the floor. Ian realized what he did.</p><p>The raven-haired woman fell to the floor as she immediately started to feel cold. Ian crawled on top of her. "Where is he? Emily, where's Declan?"</p><p>"Go to hell," Emily said softly. That's when Doyle heard the footsteps approaching. He ran out of the room without another word. Liam followed after him as they both managed to slip away.</p><p>"I got her! I got her in the basement on the Southside. I need a medic right now," Derek said into his vest. He grabbed onto Emily's hand. The woman was holding into it as best as she could. "Emily! Stay with me. Stay with me, Emily, come on."</p><p>JJ ran into the room and had tears in her eyes as she looked at Emily. She holstered her gun as she knelt down right next to Emily.</p><p>"Emily! Emily!" JJ said and placed her hands on both her cheeks. Emily's eyes locked with hers as best as they could. Slowly, they started to shut. "No, no, no. Emily, baby, eyes on me. Eyes on me. Keep them open. Medics are on the way. But you have to keep looking at me. Squeeze Derek's hand if you can still hear us."</p><p>Emily's hand squeezed as best as it could on Derek's. "Stay with us, Emily. Come on."</p><p>Aaron ran into the room and nearly dropped to his knees at the sight of Emily. The man made his way to Emily. He unlocked the cuffs around Emily's wrists.</p><p>"Emily, honey, I'm right here. Try not to move. We got you," Aaron said as tears filled his eyes. Emily's free hand went to touch his face. He grabbed it and held onto it. "They're almost here, please keep<br/>your eyes open."</p><p>"You were such a good mom, Emily. Declan is so proud to call you his mom. Don't forget that. You hold on because there's a little boy who wants his mom right now. Hold on, Emily, for him. For all of us," JJ said and had tears in her eyes. All three agents in the room were crying as Emily's eyes fought to stay open. "He needs to see you again."</p><p>The medics came running into the room along with Spencer and Rossi. Dave did the sign of the cross as he looked at Emily. The woman squeezed Derek's hand on me last time before he was pulled away to make room for the medics.</p><p>They waited hours and hours and hours as Emily went into surgery. All of them not saying a word as they waited for the doctors. JJ found herself looking out at the night sky.</p><p>Please be okay. Please let her be okay.</p><p>Aaron slipped away as he noticed the doctor submerge from the surgery doors. The doctor explained everything to him. The man nodded as he walked back towards the group—all of them sitting up as he walked in.</p><p>"She never made it off the table," Aaron said and clenched his jaw. Tears escaped his eyes. The entire room was loud, yet nobody made a sound as they sobbed.</p><p>After the news, they all went their separate ways. Rossi had taken in Derek, Spencer, and Penelope. He didn't want to be alone. Nevertheless, have them be alone.</p><p>Hotch went home to Jack and Jessica. The man had to break the news that Emily would be gone for a while. He wrote everything down on a paper to Jessica about what was going on. He made sure to shred it in case they were watching.</p><p>And Jennifer. Jennifer went home to her boyfriend and child. The same child that was miraculously brought into the world the same day Emily was. Will stood up when JJ got home. She didn't say a word to him as she went directly to Henry's room. She opened the door quietly as she stepped inside. The young boy was peacefully asleep. He was wearing the pajama set Emily had gotten him for Christmas.</p><p>JJ knelt to the floor next to Henry and placed her hand on him. The woman was quietly sobbing into her other hand as she looked at her son. Henry reminded her so much of Emily. And now, he was all she had left of her. Her son and her memories now haunted her.</p><p>The funeral took place a couple of days later. Each team member placed a single white rose onto Emily's casket; the friends and family of Emily all placed red roses down.</p><p>JJ tried to keep her composure as she stared down at the casket. But she couldn't. She looked away and towards the trees in the cemetery.</p><p>That's when she saw him. His face was sporting a smile that made the blonde woman's skin crawl. JJ looked down and grabbed onto her purse for her gun. She looked back up.</p><p>He was gone.</p><p>JJ: "I've faced blazing guns in the hands of angry men, which is bad; and daggers in the hands of angry women, which is a thousand times worse." Stephen King.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>fair warning these next seven chapters are going to be full of just angst and heart break. buckle up besties!🎉</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. aaron</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>not me passing both my exams with A's🥳</p><p>also the timeline for the next couple of chapters is lowkey weird because i think of everything besides this. basically it's what each team member is going through after the three month mark of emily's "death" 😚</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties!🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing, mentions of violence, signs of depression, NSFW mentions, slight suicidal thoughts if you squint<br/>word count: 5037</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron: "Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change." Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley.</p><p>Aaron walked into the hospital room. He smiled softly at the woman who was still asleep. The man in an outfit Emily loved on him. All black with his jacket collars popped. He made sure to groom his beard before he left to see her. He had a small bouquet in his hands. This was the first time he went to see her after telling the team a week ago.</p><p>He set the flowers down on the counter before grabbing the woman's hand. He kissed her knuckles ever so gently. He didn't want to hurt her. Aaron looked down at her hand before realizing something. He got down on one knee and pulled the ring from his pocket. Aaron carefully slipped the ring back on the woman's finger.</p><p>"There you go, my love," Aaron said softly. He kissed her hand one more time before getting up and sitting right next to her.</p><p>"You always had a romantic touch to you," Emily said softly. The man looked over at her as tears welled in his eyes. He carefully leaned over Emily and embraced the woman. Her hands buried in the man's hair as she pulled him closer. "Aaron."</p><p>"Emily. I missed you," Aaron said softly as he pulled away. Both raised a hand to wipe away the other's tears. "What were you thinking?"</p><p>"He was going to hurt the team. I didn't have a choice," Emily said and nuzzled her cheek into the man's hand. "I'm so sorry."</p><p>"Please don't ever do that to me again," Aaron said and ran his thumb over the bandaid on her cheek. He smiled as he leaned over and kissed the woman softly. The two pulled away and smiled at the other. "I love you."</p><p>"And I love you," Emily said softly and pushed the man's hair back on his head. "How's the rest of the team?"</p><p>"Emily, we need to talk," Aaron said and sat back down in his chair. His hand was never leaving Emily's. She looked worried. "I told them that you had died."</p><p>"What?" Emily said and tried to sit up.</p><p>"Emily, please," Aaron said and held her arm to prevent her from getting up. "We didn't catch him, Em. By the time we got into the room, he already was gone."</p><p>"He's still out there?" Emily asked as her heart dropped. "So now what? I hide in the hospital for the rest of my life?"</p><p>"I talked to your mom. She has friends in Paris that are already looking into apartments. The lease would be paid in full by her. Strauss knows what's going on, and she's putting a push on you going underground," Aaron said as his eyes kept straight to Emily's engagement ring. "We can't risk leaving you here in the states, so witness protection is off the table."</p><p>"I can't do that, Aaron. I can't walk away from my life. Declan needs me, and it's driving me crazy that's he's been away from me for seven weeks already," Emily said as tears built in her eyes. "I can't—"</p><p>"Emily. You have no other choice. I'm sorry," Aaron said as Emily's tears fell freely. "We already had the funeral—"</p><p>"You already had the funeral?" Emily asked as she pulled her hand away. Aaron sighed as Emily crossed her arms. "What else are you not telling me?"</p><p>"That's it. The team organized it. I had no power to stop it. They wanted to bury you," Aaron said and interlaced his fingers together. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"I didn't get to say goodbye," Emily said as she tried to suppress her sobs. "Is that why nobody here knows my name? They all address me as Miss, and that's it."</p><p>"As of right now, Emily Prentiss died at the hands of Ian Doyle. Your identity is only known by one person here, and that's your doctor. I made sure of it," Aaron said softly. "Once we get you cleared, you and I will be on a plane to France. Your mother will meet us there as we prepare everything for you to live comfortably."</p><p>"For how long?" Emily asked. She didn't even look at Aaron. The man gulped nervously; he didn't want to break her heart more.</p><p>"Until we catch him," Aaron said and sighed softly. "I'm so sorry, Emily. If there was any other way, believe me, I'd do it."</p><p>"You have to promise me you'll take care of them," Emily said and wiped her tears away. "This is going to eat them alive, Aaron. Promise me you'll take care of all of them."</p><p>"I promise," Aaron said softly. Emily sighed and placed her hand on top of Aaron's. Emily pulled the man towards her, and he wrapped an arm around her as they kissed.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Emily said and pulled away. "It's just a lot to take in."</p><p>"I understand. Are you hungry?" Aaron asked and looked over at the clock. It was about to be eleven. "I can run down to the cafeteria to grab you something."</p><p>"I'd like that as long as you get something to eat yourself," Emily said and smiled shyly at him. He nodded his head before pulling away from the woman entirely.</p><p>"I'll be right back," Aaron said and tapped his pockets to check if he had his wallet. After that, he left. Emily got one moment of peace before her doctor walked in.</p><p>"Good afternoon, Emily," the doctor said and shut the door behind her. Emily pursed her lips as the doctor stood there with her arms crossed in front of her. "We have to talk about your—"</p><p>"Don't," Emily said as tears filled her eyes. "Don't. I know what you're going to say and I already told you what to do. Give me some time to think."</p><p>The doctor nodded her head as she stepped out of the room. She made sure to grab Emily's chart as well. Emily tilted her head back as tears filled her eyes.</p><p>Why me?</p><p>Aaron came in a little while later and handed the woman a caesar salad from the cafeteria. He didn't want to get anything greasy like a burger.</p><p>The two ate happily, enjoying each other's company. Emily kept staring at Aaron, just taking in the sight of him for as long as she could.</p><p>The doctor came in a little while later. She smiled softly at the two as they cleaned up after themselves. "Well, Emily is feeling a little better. She's moving around more with minimal pain. We still have those medications for you to fall back on but, you're looking at going home today."</p><p>"I'm being discharged already?" Emily asked and held tightly onto Aaron's hand. She glanced back and forth between the two lovers.</p><p>"Yes, ma'am. You're incredibly lucky that the stab wound didn't cause too much internal damage. But, Emily, you can go as soon as you're ready. I'll have a nurse come by at around three-thirty to help you to your car in a wheelchair," the doctor said and smiled softly at Emily. "Be careful, Emily. I'll see you right when you're leaving."</p><p>Without another word, the doctor left.</p><p>Hours later, the two were heading towards the airport. Emily didn't say much during the car ride. She only took in the stormy day of Washington DC. She didn't know how long I'd be until she got to see this again.</p><p>The two lovers made their way to the empty couch on the jet. Aaron leaned against the wall as Emily settled herself in between the man's legs, her back resting against his chest. Aaron had made sure to bring a blanket for the two, which Emily gladly wrapped the both of them in. Emily didn't say much as she relaxed into the man's touch for the last time for who knows how long.</p><p>"They all miss you a lot already," Aaron said as he started to play with one of Emily's hands. The woman smiled softly. "Jack keeps asking when you're going to come back. And honestly, I keep asking myself the same thing."</p><p>"I get to come back whenever you all catch him. I just hope you'll hurry and find him," Emily said and kissed the man's hand. "I just wish I could say goodbye. Not only to them but Jack, Jessica, Tom, and Declan."</p><p>The two fell into silence. Aaron took a deep breath before he pulled Emily impossibly closer into him. "Why didn't you tell me about him?"</p><p>"I know my job is dangerous. And I know the target Declan had on his back. I just wished I could have kept him in a box until the world was a safer place for him. I didn't want him to be used as a pawn in multiple games. The whole reason I got him and Louise out of there was for him to have a normal life, Aaron. It didn't feel right if I kept him with me with my not-normal life," Emily said and chuckled to hide the sadness in her voice. "I told him when he was older. Preferably in college, that I'd let him into my world. He wanted to meet you."</p><p>"Really?" Aaron asked and smiled softly. "What did he say?"</p><p>"He wanted to have a man-to-man talk with you," Emily said and laughed as the memories of her son took over.</p><p>"He adores you," Aaron said and kissed the woman's head. "When this is all over, I'd love to meet him."</p><p>"I'd want the entire team to meet him. I think he's like me," Emily said and smiled. "I think that'll be one way to make up for me being gone for so long."</p><p>"He'll understand, Emily. You've spent almost his entire life trying to protect him. This is no different," Aaron said as the woman looked up at him. "You're an amazing mother. You risked everything to keep him safe."</p><p>"I don't think it was enough," Emily said softly.</p><p>"It was. Now we just have to find them before Doyle does," Aaron said and kissed Emily's temple. He didn't even have to look at her to know she was panicking. "We'll find him, I promise."</p><p>Emily's heart broke at the thought of her not being able to help. She nuzzled against Aaron's chest and played with his jacket zipper to help soothe her nerves. "Please...please find my boy, Aaron."</p><p>"I will," Aaron said and pulled Emily closer to him. He held onto the woman as she cried into his chest. Aaron wished he could take away this entire situation for Emily. He hated to see the woman in so much distress. She didn't deserve to have her life stripped from her. It wasn't fair. "I don't know how I'll be able to manage without you next to me every day."</p><p>"I can write to you as often as I can," Emily said softly.</p><p>Aaron took a deep breath and sighed. "That's the thing, Em. There can't be any communication between the two of us."</p><p>"Right," she said and shut her eyes. "I guess I can keep a journal, and I'll write everything in there. I'm sure I'll have some stories for when I get back."</p><p>"Hey, maybe you and Rossi can collaborate on a book," Aaron said and rubbed the woman's shoulder. Emily had a slight smile on her face as she shook her head. At least he made her smile.</p><p>"Please tell me you'll record everyone's birthdays. I don't want to miss anything," Emily said as she slowly started to get tired as she laid on him.</p><p>"And I'll make sure to bake a cake as best as I can on your birthday. That way, Jack and I can save you some memories," Aaron said and brushed some hairs that were in front of her face. "I'd say I'd mail it to you, but I don't think you'll want green cake."</p><p>"Ew, gross," Emily said and chuckled. "I'll make my own cake, thank you very much."</p><p>The two kept up their conversation as the jet ride went smoothly. Emily and Aaron didn't want to sleep in their last hours together. They stayed up talking and telling stories to the other.</p><p>"When was this again?" Emily asked and looked up at the man. Aaron ran a hand down his face and shook his head.</p><p>"My birthday, and Rossi thought it was a great time to visit right when we were about to...you know," Aaron said and shook his head at the memory.</p><p>"Hello! Happy Birth—oh God," Rossi said as he shut his eyes. Emily managed to wrap herself in a blanket close by as Aaron was stuck on the floor, completely naked with only a pillow covering him.</p><p>"Good morning Dave," Aaron said and looked anywhere but at the man. Rossi shook his head as Aaron waved at him.</p><p>"Don't get up, please," Rossi said and put a hand out to cover Aaron's body from his sight.</p><p>Hotch chuckled nervously and held the pillow tighter to him. "Wasn't planning on it, but okay."</p><p>Emily was laughing her head off as she watched from the couch. Rossi just placed down the donuts he had gotten the man for his birthday on the table.</p><p>"I'll see you two at the office," Rossi said and walked out.</p><p>"He didn't let you live that one down," Emily said and chuckled. "Well, be glad nobody else was with him. Morgan wouldn't shut up if it happened to him."</p><p>"I thank God every day that it wasn't Penelope," Aaron said and chuckled.</p><p>The two felt the pit in their stomachs grow. Aaron looked outside the window and saw that they were landing at the airport.</p><p>It was too soon. Aaron needed more time with her.</p><p>Eventually, the jet came to a halt. Both of them sighed as they got up. Emily grabbed a duffel bag Aaron had packed filled with clothes for her. They both made their way towards the doors of the jet.</p><p>Emily dropped her bag and wrapped her arms around the man. Aaron held onto her tightly as though hugging her would fix everything. Both shut their eyes to take in their touch for the last time.</p><p>"I love you so much," Aaron said as he tried his hardest not to cry.</p><p>"I love you so much, Aaron Hotchner," Emily said as tears escaped her eyes. "Please, catch him."</p><p>"I'll do everything I can," Aaron said as he held onto the woman tighter. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"Don't say you're sorry," Emily said and ran her fingers through his hair. "I'll see you soon, okay?"</p><p>"Okay," Aaron said as tears fell from his eyes. Emily and him pulled away from each other. The woman's hands trailing up and grabbed him from his collars, pulling him down for a passionate kiss.</p><p>Both never wanted to let go.</p><p>Aaron held her by her face as he gave her a kiss that would hopefully make up for the ones she'd lose. Emily grabbed onto him by his jacket, trying to keep him there with her forever.</p><p>The two finally pulled away from the other with tears rolling down their cheeks. "Please take care of yourself, honey."</p><p>"I will," Aaron said and smiled softly at Emily. "Please be careful."</p><p>"I will," Emily said as she grabbed her bag.</p><p>"Em," Elizabeth called out as a look of relief was on her face. Emily was never more relieved to see her mother than in this moment. She walked right up to her and engulfed her in a hug as she cried softly. Her mother didn't do anything except for holding her and whispering that everything would be alright now.</p><p>His eyes were glossy as Emily smiled at him before walking off. He kept his eyes down as his heart physically broke. Aaron picked his head up one last time to look at Emily as she got into the car. Her hand went up to the glass as she was looking right back at him.</p><p>"Bye, my Emily," Aaron said softly as the car pulled out. He watched as the car turned off towards the main road and disappeared from his sight. He stood there for God knows how long, letting the tears fall freely from his eyes.</p><p>Come back. Please, God, bring her back.</p><p>The man cried as he didn't move a single muscle. He finally wiped his eyes and got together his composure. Aaron walked back into the jet and told the pilot he was ready for take-off. Aaron made his way back to the couch of the plane.</p><p>He grabbed the blanket that wrapped him and Emily just a few minutes ago. Aaron held it right to his face. The sweet smell of Emily was still on it. His heartbreaking as he made his way to the couch and laid down, placing the blanket right on top of him to mimic her weight.</p><p>He missed her so much already.</p><p>•</p><p>Three months later:</p><p>"Aaron! Help me!"</p><p>"You'll hurry, right?"</p><p>"Emily."</p><p>"I know you didn't sign onto this."</p><p>Doyle and Foyet both laughed as Aaron laid with both Haley and Emily in his arms. Both women were bleeding out faster than he could stop it. "Hold on. I can stop the bleeding. Hold on, please."</p><p>"You can't save them both," Doyle taunted.</p><p>"You're pathetic, Hotchner. You're weak," Foyet said as the two crouched to be eye level with Aaron. "They're both dead, and it's your fault."</p><p>Aaron woke up in a sweat as he swung his arm to hit the men. It was a dream. It was just a dream.</p><p>Aaron laid back down in his bed. It seemed so much bigger now with Emily gone. He hated it. Aaron hated having to sleep alone again. He hated everything about this situation. Aaron just wanted his family back.</p><p>The man had decided it would be best to get up already. It was five o'clock in the morning, and Aaron could already hear Jessica shuffling throughout the kitchen. Aaron got up, got decent, and headed to the kitchen. Jessica saw him and immediately pursed her lips. "Aaron..."</p><p>"I know. I know. I look like a mess," Aaron said and ran his hands down his face. His hair was messy, he hadn't properly groomed his beard, the bags under his eyes darkened about five shades since Emily had left. "I still haven't been able to sleep."</p><p>"It's been three months. Don't you think it'll be okay just for a minute phone call? I hate to see you like this, Aaron," Jessica said and placed a mug down in front of him as she brewed the coffee in the pot.</p><p>"I can't. As much as I want to, I can't risk losing Emily again," Aaron said and sighed. His vision was fuzzy had he tried to focus on the mug in front of him.</p><p>"I think maybe you should talk to someone," Jessica said and leaned against the counter. "It'll be good to tell them about everything you're feeling."</p><p>"Like a therapist?" Aaron asked and gave her the 'you can't be serious' look. Jessica crossed her arms.</p><p>"Expert on human behavior and psychological problems, but you're missing the very evident signs of your own," Jessica said and scoffed. She grabbed the coffee pot and poured the man some coffee. "You're going into a depression which is perfectly understandable. But you need to take care of yourself. That was one thing you said you promised her."</p><p>Aaron clenched his jaw as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He tried to calm himself, but it was too overwhelming. The man let the tears fall freely from his eyes. "I'm trying."</p><p>"And for that, I'm proud of you," Jessica said and reached over, placing her hand on the man's arm. "You're trying your hardest, and that's all anyone could ever ask for, okay?"</p><p>Aaron nodded his head and rubbed his eyes again. He needed a day's worth of sleep; any sleep would be a step in the right direction.</p><p>Jessica had made him and Jack, a good breakfast of pancakes and bacon before the man headed off to work. He felt something was wrong. He didn't like the feeling he had in his stomach. It didn't sit right with him.</p><p>Hotch walked into the bullpen and was met with the mail carrier. He furrowed his eyebrows as the man handed him a letter. Aaron rarely got personal mail.</p><p>"Here you go, sir," he said as he handed him a single letter. He grabbed it and looked down at the name.</p><p>Joan P.</p><p>Hotch tilted his head in confusion.</p><p>"What would your name be? Like a fake name?" Hotch asked as he looked down at Emily. She pursed her lips and swayed her head slightly.</p><p>"I would make it obvious but subtle. Maybe after a musician," Emily said and tapped her finger against his chest.</p><p>Joan Jett.</p><p>Hotch turned and took the letter with him, mumbling a thank you to the mail carrier. He practically ran up to his office. He shut the doors and sat down at his desk. His fingers were subconsciously tracing over the handwriting that was so obviously Emily's. The man took a deep breath before opening the letter.</p><p>Dear A,</p><p>If you're reading this, the letter got to you safely. I'm so sorry. I know you said no communication, but it has been physically killing me. I figured a letter is safer than a phone call. And I knew it would be safer to send it to the second home instead of the primary home.</p><p>This is a letter that I never wanted to or thought I would be writing. It's been three months since I last saw you or heard from you, and it's driving me to insanity. He is still out there, and if he finds me, I won't be able to get out a third time. Then I thought about how long I would have to be here. I've grown uncomfortably comfortable with the idea that I might not see you again. But then I thought about beyond me. I thought of Jack, one of the sweetest little boys this Earth has ever seen. And then about you, the love of my life. It's not fair of me to ask you to stay loyal to me when I have no idea when I'll be able to come out of hiding.</p><p>I cannot be the reason you and Jack don't find happiness in life. Jack needs a mother. He needs someone to take care of him in a way I physically cannot do right now. And you, you have to be able to find a smile on your face that isn't because of me. It's not right that I had you faithful to me for three months. The both of you need someone stable. Someone who is physically there. So please, promise me you're not mad at my decision. I can't pretend like I'll be out of here in the next seven days, and everything will go back to normal. The thought of me never leaving is haunting me now. I hope you understand, and I hope you find happiness that's not within me.</p><p>I love you, A.H. You deserve to be happy even if that means I'm not in the picture. Please take care of yourself for me. Jack needs you to be strong for the both of you. I love you more than words can describe. I'm so sorry I have to end it like this, but I can't anymore.</p><p>I love you. Give Jack a hug and a kiss for me. I'll hopefully see you soon.</p><p>J.P.</p><p>Aaron's eyes closed as tears left his eyes. His whole body was shaking as he tried to keep his composure. He sat back and took a deep breath as he stared at the letter. He looked inside the envelope and saw a postcard. It was from Belgium. He knew she wasn't there but just sent it as a precaution. He ran his fingers over the thick paper as he turned it around.</p><p>I'm sorry.</p><p>Attached with a piece of tape was her engagement ring.</p><p>See, the ring is what sent Hotch into a world of hurt. He set down the postcard right as the team walked in. Aaron got up and shut his blinds.</p><p>Everyone outsider raised their eyebrows as he did. That was the first time they ever saw Aaron physically close them. He had to be going through a rough time.</p><p>"Should we check on him?" Penelope asked and glanced around at everyone on the team. They all stayed quiet. "He has to be going through a lot. First Haley and then now Emily."</p><p>"Baby girl, I think the whole reason why he shut them is so we wouldn't go," Derek said and placed both hands on her shoulders. "When he's ready, he'll come to us."</p><p>It had been days of radio silence. Aaron would come into the BAU, do his files before leaving. Nobody ever saw him come in and out. They all knew he needed space and were gladly giving it to him.</p><p>And probably the worse part, he couldn't tell the team what actually happened. Aaron did what he does best and just soaked all the hurt and pain and embodied it.</p><p>Finally, someone was brave enough to come and talk to him.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Come in," Hotch said and didn't look up from his files. He heard the door open and then shut.</p><p>"Alright, out with it," Rossi said and sat down right in front of him. Aaron glanced up and sighed. He should have figured. "You and I both know it's not good to keep this all bottled in. It's been four days since you shut your blinds."</p><p>"There's nothing to say, Dave," Aaron said and kept on with his files. Rossi reached over and grabbed the pen from the man's hand and the pen holder. He placed them on the chair next to him as he waited for Aaron to do something. "Dave."</p><p>"Aaron," Rossi said and crossed his arms. "Let it out. Cry, yell, scream, call me a scumbag. Do something to let this Aaron!"</p><p>"What do you want me to say!" Aaron shouted. He ran his hand down his face as he tried to keep his composure. "There's nothing to say, Dave. I need to do my files."</p><p>"Files can wait," Dave said and sat back in his seat. The two stared down the other as a test of who would win. Aaron was the one who finally broke.</p><p>"I don't know what to do without her," Aaron said with tears in his eyes. Rossi kept his eyes on him. "It should have been me. I wish it were me."</p><p>"You don't mean that," Rossi said and shook his head. "Emily wouldn't have wanted that. The whole reason why she ran was to keep you and Jack safe. To keep all of us safe, Aaron. Was that the best plan? No. But it was the best thing in her mind that she could do."</p><p>"I'm not sleeping. I dream of her and Haley dying in my arms when I do," Aaron said weakly. "They laughed at me. Foyet and Doyle. They called me weak. They called me pathetic. And they said that their deaths were all my fault, and they're right."</p><p>"They're not. Get that out of your head. Haley and Emily died because of actions from sons of bitches like them," Rossi said, anger taking over his body. "None of this is your fault. But please, don't shut out the rest of us. We're here for you, Aaron. The last thing we want is for you to think you're completely alone in this."</p><p>"Okay," Aaron said softly. "But I need time."</p><p>"We're not pushing you. Just a little tap," Rossi said and smiled at him. Aaron nodded his head before Dave stood up and walked out of the room. Hotch tilted his head back as he shut his eyes. Memories of Emily started to roll in.</p><p>"You said you trust me."</p><p>Hotch's face softened. Emily chuckled as she saw the man's face relax. "I think he hit you a little too hard. I never said that."</p><p>He smiled at the memory.</p><p>"And I love how you took my advice and grew out your beard. You know how to make a woman happy."</p><p>"I'll make a note of that," Aaron said and smiled.</p><p>"But if it grows past your chin, we're going to have some problem."</p><p>Flashes of Emily smiling filled his head. He loved her smile and the way her eyes squinted along with it. Her contagious laughter filled the air around him.</p><p>Aaron pulled Emily down and dipped her. The man keeping her there as they smiled at each other—his heart racing at the sight of Emily's face close up.</p><p>Kiss her, just do it.</p><p>That Aaron shouldn't have even hesitated if he knew time with her was short. He would have kissed her like it would be the last thing he'd do if he knew how this would go.</p><p>Aaron picked his head up and opened the top drawer of his desk. He saw the ring in there and sighed.</p><p>He almost had her entirely. Almost.</p><p>Now he has nothing left of her except his memories.</p><p>Aaron: "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Alfred Lord Tennyson.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>idk if y'all caught the small detail of how ian was too toxic to kneel in front of emily meanwhile aaron doesn't hesitate to. just something i added for ✨layers✨</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. jennifer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not me listening to 505 by arctic monkeys and don't blame me by taylor swift while writing this (i'm so sorry in advance)😁</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: suicidal thoughts!, swearing, mentions of violence, hallucinations, suicidal tendencies, nods at self harm, psychological care admission <br/>word count: 5035</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ: "Time and time again, we reconnected. It's like the universe nudges us to give it one more chance." Nikki Rowe. </p><p>JJ smiled as she walked out of Henry's room. She carefully shut the door, making sure not to make a sound.</p><p>"Children are lovely when they're innocent," a voice said from behind her. JJ froze in her stance. She knew that voice. She turned and saw Doyle leaning against the wall in the hallway. She reached behind her and grabbed the gun that was tucked between her pants.</p><p>"Get out of my house," JJ hissed. Doyle smiled and walked up to her.</p><p>"That's the beauty of your condition, Agent Jareau. You don't know if I'm here," Ian said with a smug grin. JJ blinked, and he was gone. "Or not."</p><p>She turned and saw him now in the kitchen. She walked up to him and clenched her jaw. "If you touch my son, I swear to God—"</p><p>"Please calm yourself, Jennifer," he said and shook his head. "I don't have a feud with you or your son."</p><p>"Then why are you here?" JJ asked and clenched her jaw.</p><p>"You've heard of the term PTSD and how it can rip people apart," Doyle said and walked around JJ. "I'm merely here as a reminder of your inability to save your beloved Agent Emily Prentiss."</p><p>"You shut up about her," JJ spat out. "You don't get to talk about her, ever."</p><p>"Why? Is knowing you could have prevented her death by holding on a little tighter, running a bit faster, finding us quicker, too much for you to handle?" he asked. JJ trembled with rage. "Her death is all your fault. If only you noticed the signs."</p><p>"No!" JJ said and slammed her hand down on the kitchen counter. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. When they opened again, he was alone in her kitchen. JJ placed the gun back behind her and ran her hands over her face.</p><p>"You okay? I thought I heard you shout?" Will said and walked out of the bedroom. JJ smiled softly and shook her head. He looked down towards the floor. "Are you sure going is the right thing?"</p><p>"I already booked the flight. It's been three months since Emily—I owe this to Emily. So, I just want to feel a little closer to her," JJ said and shut her eyes. Will nodded his head.</p><p>"I don't want you to go alone," he said and walked up to JJ. The woman shaking her head.</p><p>"I need to. I need closure," JJ said and held her hand out to put some distance between the two. Will sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I'll be back in two days. It'll be like I wasn't gone."</p><p>"JJ—"</p><p>"Will. I need to do this," JJ said and pushed her hair back. She shut her eyes to calm herself. She gulped as the man stood silent in front of her. "I need to do this."</p><p>Will put his hands up in surrender as he backed away. "Okay, but after this, you are going to see a therapist. It's not right for you to be holding this in."</p><p>JJ just stayed quiet. Will sighed. He was never going to win with JJ. She just nodded her head and walked off. She went into her bedroom, leaving her gun, and grabbed the duffel bag for herself. Will stood by the door, holding it open for her.</p><p>"You let me know when you land, alright?" Will said and pulled JJ in by the waist. She nodded as he leaned in and kissed her. JJ kissed him back briefly before pulling away. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too," JJ said and smiled before walking out of the house and into her car.</p><p>After about eight hours of a plane ride, JJ finally touched down in Paris, France. With her, she had a charm that she had bought for Emily. The woman was planning on giving it to her for her birthday, but it was too late now.</p><p>JJ headed to the hotel, dropping off her things and freshening up. It was a bright and early eight in the morning in Paris, and JJ didn't want to waste any time.</p><p>First stop, she headed to the infamous love lock bridge in Paris. She had brought a lock from home. One Henry helped to paint. It had Emily's initials on it, along with lots of tiny hearts the mother and son painted on. Emily would have loved it.</p><p>JJ sighed as she walked down the bridge. She finally found a good spot, almost right in the middle on the top. She knelt down and clasped the lock around the bridge.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Emily," JJ said softly as she placed a gentle kiss on the lock and stood back up. She grabbed the key and the charm from her pocket and looked out to the view of the Eiffel tower. "Things are crazy here without you."</p><p>JJ juggled the key and charm in her hand. She took a deep breath before throwing both the charm and key into the river. She watched it disappear into the water. "I'm so sorry for everything, Emily. I—I miss you so much, I'd do anything to have you back with me."</p><p>JJ stood there for several minutes as she felt a sort of relief come off of her shoulders. Let her rest now, JJ, just let her rest. The blonde woman said her goodbyes to the lock before wiping her eyes of tears and walking away.</p><p>The woman made her way through the streets of Paris. She wanted to explore and pick up some souvenirs for Will, Henry, and of course, her sister. JJ made her way into a small bakery down the street from where she was staying. She was in and out in under ten minutes.</p><p>JJ looked up at the large crowd gathered at the market. She looked over and saw a woman who looked eerily similar to Emily. JJ's feet started to move without a second thought.</p><p>"Emily!" JJ called out. The woman looking up. She spotted the blonde woman, and her eyes widened underneath her sunglasses. She slipped through the busy crowd of the market and found herself into an alleyway. JJ's eyes were losing her as she bumped into a man. The blonde woman's head was spinning as she looked around the market area.</p><p>She was here. She was right fucking here.</p><p>"Emily!" JJ shouted, earning herself a few strange looks from people passing by. JJ's heart rate was picking up as she shook her head. She lost Emily for a second time.</p><p>Meanwhile, Emily was only a few yards away from JJ. Her hand covering her sobs as she listened to JJ call out for her. Emily wanted so desperately to go out there and reveal herself to JJ, but she couldn't. She had no idea if Doyle was following JJ. It broke her heart listening to JJ's shouts for her.</p><p>I'm right here, JJ. I'm so sorry.</p><p>The blonde woman gave up. With tears in her eyes, she walked out of the market area and pulled out her phone. She waited for the call to go through. "Penelope."</p><p>"JJ, honey? What's going on?" Penelope asked and sat up at her desk.</p><p>"It's Emily," JJ said as her breathing picked up at the whole situation. "I saw her. She's here in France, Garcia."</p><p>"JJ honey, that's not possible," Penelope said softly. "We buried her three almost four months ago, remember?"</p><p>"Penelope, I know what I saw. I called out for her, and she looked up. She's not dead," JJ said and looked back towards the market area. Her eyes were desperately trying to find Emily. "You have to believe me on this."</p><p>"Sweetie, I want to, I really do. But, I didn't see her. I can't side with you blindly on this," Penelope said. "Besides, Doyle is still out there. We still haven't caught him. Maybe it's your guilty conscience talking, and it's tricking you into seeing things."</p><p>JJ gripped her phone tightly as tears filled her eyes. "I called you because I thought you would believe me. I'll find her myself."</p><p>JJ spent the entire afternoon searching around in surrounding areas. Knowing Emily, she wouldn't have trusted to take a long taxi ride to the market if she was supposed to be underground. But that still left her at a million possibilities, all within a fifteen-minute car ride.</p><p>It was nightfall in Paris, and JJ had zero luck finding her. She sighed and made her way back to the hotel. When she got there, she threw her bag down and climbed into bed. She looked over at the small balcony that came with the room. It was a full moon that night. The stars seemed so much brighter.</p><p>"I know what I saw. Please, please bring her back to me," JJ said softly as she knelt down on the balcony. "Bring her back to me, please! I didn't—I didn't have enough time. Please!"</p><p>She cried for what felt like forever as she prayed and prayed for Emily to come back to her once again. The blonde woman's entire body felt weak as she picked her head up once again.</p><p>JJ left Paris nine hours later with no luck of seeing Emily again. Even if it wasn't Emily, she wanted to hold the woman who looked so much like her. A clone of a person is better than life without them.</p><p>Days after her return from Paris, JJ was distant from everyone. Aaron, Derek, David, Spencer, Will, even Penelope. Her brain couldn't wrap around the idea that there was a possibility Emily was still alive. She wanted nothing more than to go back, find her, and tell her she's sorry for not being able to capture Doyle. Well, that was one thing JJ wanted to say to her.</p><p>"You were easier to take out than your friend," Ian said and leaned over JJ's body. The woman panting for air as everywhere in her body hurt. He had hit her in the face, stomach, ribs. He beat her to the ground, yet she was trying her best to hold on.</p><p>JJ shivered as Doyle patted her face and smiled. He walked right out of the room. She looked left and right and just couldn't recognize a single thing in the room. It was an empty room. The door opened, a figure making its way into the light. The woman was finally coming into JJ's view.</p><p>"JJ," the woman said and caressed her face. The touch was gentle enough not to hurt her. "God, baby, you're freezing."</p><p>"Emily," JJ croaked out. She started to sob at the sight of the woman. Emily tilted her head as she wiped her tears away. JJ was too beautiful to cry. "How did you find me?"</p><p>"That doesn't matter," Emily said and smiled softly. "All that matters is that I did find you."</p><p>"I'm scared. It's getting too much. I think I might break," JJ said and leaned into the woman's touch as tears still escaped her eyes. Emily's hands were unusually warm.</p><p>"You have to stay strong, JJ," Emily said as she rubbed her thumb against her cheek. "JJ."</p><p>"Yes?" JJ asked and relaxed into the woman's touch.</p><p>"JJ wake up," Emily said and shook the woman. JJ. furrowed her eyebrows. "JJ, wake up."</p><p>"JJ, wake up!" Will said as he shook his girlfriend. JJ's eyes immediately opened and scrambled away from the man's touch. "You were freaking me out. You started crying in your sleep."</p><p>"I'm fine," JJ said and wiped her tears away. "It was just a dumb dream."</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?" Will asked as he sat up against the headboard. JJ shook her head.</p><p>"I just need some water," JJ said and cleared her throat. She looked over at her boyfriend and smiled softly. "Go back to sleep. I'll be right back."</p><p>JJ got up and grabbed her cardigan before walking out of the room. Will listened and laid back down, falling asleep almost instantly. JJ walked into the kitchen and sighed. She grabbed a glass and filled it up with water from her fridge.</p><p>"I'm sorry for scaring you."</p><p>JJ looked over her shoulder and saw Emily there. Her lips in a tight smile, making her dimples pop out. The younger woman smiled and visibly relaxed as she turned.</p><p>"It's okay, Em," JJ said and smiled at the woman. "But I do need sleep eventually. I'm tired."</p><p>"I just needed to see you again," Emily said and looked towards the floor. "I needed to hear your voice. I'm sorry I'll go—"</p><p>"No, please," JJ said and held her hand out. She placed down her water and wiped away her tears. "Please don't leave me again. I'm going crazy, and I need you to remind me that I'm not."</p><p>"JJ—"</p><p>"No," JJ said sternly. "Emily, please. Just stay for one night. Please stay here with me."</p><p>The older woman pursed her lips and sighed. JJ walked up to her and reached out gently. She was so scared she'd disappear at the touch.</p><p>"Mama?" Henry called out. JJ turned and saw Henry there, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. JJ smiled softly and walked around to get him.</p><p>"Hey, my sweet boy. What are you doing out of bed?" JJ asked and knelt down in front of him. He shrugged, and JJ chuckled as she picked him up. She turned back to an empty kitchen. No Emily. "Let's get you to bed."</p><p>"Can you stay?" Henry asked as they entered his bedroom. The woman nodded and cramped herself in with him onto his car-shaped bed. Henry curled right into her arms. "Baby star?"</p><p>"How about I tell you a story, instead?" JJ asked and ran her hand through the boy's hair.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"This story is about two princesses that were very close. They moved into this castle that had a view of this large tower not too far from it. They would spend their days talking about what the future had in store for them. And one of the princesses would tell the other about her travels from around the world. The other princess loved those stories. But one day, one of them got lost. The other princess never stopped looking for her. She never lost hope that she would see her princess again," JJ said and cradled Henry in her arms.</p><p>"Did the princesses love each other?" he asked and looked up at his mom. JJ smiled as she pushed his hair back.</p><p>"So much. They would do anything for the other. They'd risk anything for the other," JJ said and kissed the boy's head.</p><p>"Do they have names?" Henry asked softly.</p><p>"One of the princesses' names is Elizabeth. Elizabeth likes to travel the world. She has long black hair, dimples, and a smile that can light up the world. And the other one's name is Isabella. Isabella likes to follow Elizabeth around to annoy her. She has long blonde hair, with bright blue eyes, and always wears a tiara," JJ described. Henry fell asleep as his mom told the story. "Isabella loved Elizabeth very much. And she misses her terribly."</p><p>This was only the beginning of JJ's dive off the deep end. Her hallucinations got worse. She would see them both everywhere.</p><p>"Come on, Jareau. I've seen you fight better than this," her trainer taunted. JJ's body was sweaty all over as she looked at the man across from her. He slowly changed into Doyle.</p><p>JJ swung one, two, three times at the man before pulling back. He laughed at JJ's attempt to hurt him. The woman lost all control of her body as she swung and hit him over and over again.</p><p>"Stop! Stop!" her trainer yelled as JJ kept hitting him. The woman got one last good hit in before he broke away from her entirely. "What the hell was that?"</p><p>"What?" JJ asked and took off her gloves and her mouthguard.</p><p>"You completely lost your form. What the hell is the matter with you? You pull that garbage on someone who knows what they're doing, they'd kill you," her trainer said and threw off his gloves and head protection.</p><p>"So why didn't you?" JJ asked and threw down her headpiece. "Get it over with already. Kill me."</p><p>"We're done here. Go home, cool off. And when you come back, come back with a better form," JJ's trainer said and walked off. JJ's jaw clenched as she made her way to the locker room. She threw her gloves down on the bench as she sat down. Her elbows rested against her legs. Her breathing picked up as her anger took over her body. She stood up and wiped her face with her shirt. She opened her locker and grabbed her duffle bag.</p><p>"Her death is all your fault," Ian said from behind her. "You weren't strong enough."</p><p>JJ's eyes were catching her reflection in the mirror in her locker. She slammed the door shut to stop looking at herself. She grabbed her bag and left the gym without another word.</p><p>The blonde woman found herself back at home. A steaming hot shower awaited her. The water was practically burning JJ as she stepped under it. She just stood there and took in the pain of the stinging. She wanted him dead. JJ never wanted to kill anyone in her life but Doyle? Doyle was a special case.</p><p>"You're going to burn your skin off if you keep taking hot showers," Emily said softly. JJ scoffed as she looked over at the woman through the foggy glass. "You're hurting yourself, JJ."</p><p>"I'm showering, Emily," JJ snapped back. The woman shutting her eyes as she grabbed onto the handle and lowered the temperature. "I don't know why you care. If you did care about me, you'd tell me where you are. I know it's selfish and dangerous, but I just need to know."</p><p>"I am gone—"</p><p>"You know what? Forget it," JJ said and grabbed her shampoo. She turned her back on the woman sitting at the counter. "Go away."</p><p>The rest of the day JJ spent trying to distract herself from both Doyle and Emily and her throbbing hand she had injured at the gym.</p><p>The team had suggested they all go out for drinks tonight. Lord knows they needed it. Will and JJ found their way to O'Keefe's, leaving Henry behind with a sitter.</p><p>JJ didn't stick around and immediately went to her comfort corner with the dartboard. Will sighed as he headed over to the bar. He saw Aaron there, sipping on his beer. Will sat down right next to him, ordering a beer.</p><p>"Aaron," Will said and nodded his head at him. Hotch stuck out his hand. The two shaking them briefly. "Hey, have you talked to JJ at all? She's been a little off since her trip to Paris."</p><p>The two men turned to see her playing darts with a fake smile. Hotch tensed up at the thought of Emily. The man just sipped on his beer. "Maybe she's getting tired of waiting."</p><p>Will looked back at the man with a loose smile on his face. He chuckled and ran his finger over the tip of his glass.</p><p>"What? Of me asking her to marry me? I already tried. She said she wasn't ready," Will said and shook his head. "So I told her I'd wait. I'd wait a lifetime if I had to."</p><p>"JJ loves you, Will. I say just dive headfirst in and see what happens. She could use a little bit of good in this sea of sadness with Emily being gone," Aaron said and kept his eyes forward as Will nodded.</p><p>"You think she'll say yes?"</p><p>Aaron was quiet for a split second. Emily was gone. "Of course, she'll say yes."</p><p>Will smiled and looked over at JJ, who was laughing with Derek and Spencer. Aaron was right.</p><p>Days had passed as Will prepared. With JJ being out for work and spending almost every waking moment she could at the gym, he was able to carry out his full-proof plan. He even got help from Aaron to prepare the perfect proposal.</p><p>JJ didn't question it as Will had taken her out to a fancy dinner. The kind where they'd have to dress up. The two were having a good time before Will stood up and tapped his knife against his glass.</p><p>"Can I have everyone's attention?" Will asked and looked around the restaurant. "Three years ago, I met the most beautiful woman this Earth has ever seen. She walked into my work, and I immediately knew I had to marry her. She was a hardass and sassy, but that only made me love her more. Jennifer, from that day on, I dreamed of a future between the two of us. You make me the happiest man in the world. And if you'd let me, I'd love to make you the happiest woman in the world."</p><p>"Will—"</p><p>Will lowered himself onto one knee. Small gasps were heard around the entire restaurant as he looked up at JJ. "Jennifer Jareau, I'm so in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"</p><p>JJ's eyes glanced over past his shoulder and directly to Emily, who was leaning against the wall of the restaurant. She nodded her head as she held her hand over her heart. Emily had a sad smile on her face. "Go. I'll be okay here."</p><p>JJ, with tears in her eyes, looked down at the hopeful man. Will was here. He was with her and was ready to give everything to her.</p><p>"Yes," JJ said softly as tears escaped her eyes. Cheers erupted throughout the restaurant as Will picked up JJ and spun her around in his arms.</p><p>"It's about damn time," he said and smiled widely. JJ hugged him as she had tears in her eyes. She was getting married. The man pulled back and grabbed her hand, slipping the engagement ring on. "I love you."</p><p>JJ smiled down at the ring. She recognized it to be her mother's. Tears escaped from JJ's eyes as she looked at it. "I love you, too."</p><p>Will cupped JJ's cheeks and brought her in for a kiss. The woman relaxed into the touch. The vision of Emily watching the two kiss flooded JJ's mind. She pulled away and still had her eyes shut. And when she opened them, Emily stood in front of her. She smiled widely at JJ. The blonde woman pulled her in for a kiss. She kissed her like she never kissed her before. So passionately in hopes of bringing her back. JJ pulled away and smiled. She opened her eyes, and Will stood in front of her. He wore a giant smile as he wrapped his arms around her. JJ's eyes were red and puffy as she hugged him back, her eyes wide open as she held onto him.</p><p>It was two days later, JJ found herself head deep in files. She grabbed her coffee and leaned back in her chair. She took a long sip from her drink.</p><p>"You are pathetic, truly," Doyle said and walked into the room. JJ clenched her jaw as she set down her mug. "Calm, agent."</p><p>"Go away," JJ hissed. Ian laughed as he settled himself in the chair.</p><p>"Oh Jennifer, you look so lonely without your partner," Ian said and chuckled. "You're driving yourself crazy trying to convince yourself what you saw wasn't real."</p><p>"It wasn't real," JJ said and crossed her arms.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Doyle asked. "I do have to say, this game you're playing with yourself is fun to watch. First, you lost her presence—the only person who could really keep you sane in here. Second, you lost your sleep. Next, you'll lose your ability to focus on your job. After, your friends and loved ones because you'll push everyone away. And lastly, yourself. I'll make it so you can never look at yourself again. That the person in the mirror will always be at the top of your kill list."</p><p>"You son of a bitch," JJ said just above a whisper.</p><p>"Either way, I win," Ian said and smiled. JJ slammed her hand down on her desk.</p><p>"No!" she said sternly. She looked back up, and Ian wasn't there. She sat there in silence for a second before she wiped her tears away. "You won't win."</p><p>JJ got up and walked out of her office. She made a b-line towards Hotch's office. She knocked twice before entering; Aaron looked up with furrowed eyebrows. </p><p>"I saw Emily," JJ said simply. Aaron tilted his head. "I went to Paris and I—"</p><p>"Okay, JJ. Stop," Aaron said and held his hand up.</p><p>"Hotch, I'm telling the truth," JJ said sternly. "I saw her down at the market about a mile away from the hotel I was staying at!"</p><p>"JJ, enough. I don't want to hear another word about Emily," Aaron said and clenched his jaw. "You need help, professional help."</p><p>"How are you moving on as nothing fucking happened?" JJ asked and crossed her arms. "Emily, your fiancé, died! And you walk around here like it didn't happen!"</p><p>"We both know I don't let my emotions get in the way of my job. That was the way before and after Emily. Get out of the office. I don't want to see you until you pass your psychology evaluation," Hotch said and stood up from his desk.</p><p>"I'm perfectly fine unless grieving isn't a part of BAU edict anymore," JJ said and walked out of the room without another word. The team all watched as JJ stormed out of the bullpen.</p><p>She ran to her office and shut the door behind her. JJ calmed herself down and grabbed a file, forcing herself to stay busy with work.</p><p>Hours passed until there was a knock on her door. "Come in!"</p><p>JJ didn't even turn around to see who it was. A throat cleared.</p><p>"Jennifer Jareau?" one of the men said. JJ furrowed her eyebrows as she looked up. The two police officer's hands were on their guns. "Are you armed?"</p><p>"What's this about?" JJ asked and held her hands up.</p><p>"Are you armed?" he asked again. JJ nodded and jutted her gun on her hips towards them. Her hands stayed up. One grabbed the gun while the other grabbed JJ and cuffed her hands behind her back.</p><p>"Jennifer Jareau, you're being escorted to St. Elizabeth's mental hospital," the police officer said as he locked the cuffs. JJ was practically pulled out of the office.</p><p>"There's been a misunderstanding," JJ said as the police officers pulled her out of the room. Aaron stood there with his hands in his pockets.</p><p>"You're being admitted on a mandatory leave of fourteen days. As your boss, your hallucinations are not only troubling your husband and child but myself as well. Along with a trainer that reached out to me personally," Aaron said softly.</p><p>"Are you fucking kidding me?" JJ said through her teeth. He didn't say anything as he nodded at the two men.</p><p>"I told you, you need professional help. You aren't going to do it yourself, so you gave me no choice," Aaron said and moved out of the way as JJ was escorted to the elevators. The team noticed the woman in handcuffs and sprang into action.</p><p>"Hotch! What the hell are you doing?" Derek asked as he ran down the hallway with Reid, Rossi, and Penelope.</p><p>"JJ?" Penelope called out. "What's happening?"</p><p>"Stand down, agents," Straus said sternly as they took JJ to the elevators.</p><p>"You can't just take her away!" Spencer said and clenched his jaw.</p><p>"Aaron Hotchner is your superior, and he chooses what's best for his agents. Now I told you, stand down," Strauss said. The elevator doors opened, and JJ, along with the two men, entered the elevator.</p><p>"Hang tight, JJ!" Penelope said and had tears in her eyes as the elevator doors closed. "We'll be right there."</p><p>"What the hell, Hotch!" Derek said and walked up to the man. "JJ was the one fighting on this team for you to remain in your position, and you go ahead and do this to her?"</p><p>"Not everyone grieves the same way. You said it yourself when we all came back after Emily died!" Spencer said as anger took over this body.</p><p>Hotch didn't say anything as he walked away from the group and towards the bullpen.</p><p>"Hotch! Are you even fucking listening to us! What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Derek shouted and followed after him.</p><p>Aaron turned on his heels and got into his face.</p><p>"She needed help. You're more than welcome to join her if you aren't feeling up to doing your job. Will signed the paperwork. He agreed that she needed help. And last time I checked, you weren't her husband," Aaron said and clenched his jaw. The two men staring down the other. Derek was the one who finally broke away. Aaron stayed there for a couple of seconds longer before looking towards the rest of them.</p><p>"Husband?" Penelope said, and her eyes filled with tears. "Her and Will got married?"</p><p>"If you have any personal matters with JJ, she'll be out in fourteen days. Excuse me."</p><p>JJ: "The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die." Juliette Lewis.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hotch 🤝 jj<br/>making bad decisions so the readers hate them both</p><p>also jj is another layer to people willingly kneeling in front of emily because ✨symbolism✨</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. emily</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fair warning everyone! finals week is coming up and that means that salem will be crying and studying 24/7 for the next two weeks-ish. So! this means that i'll update as much as i can but i make no promises of doing the three updates on the weekend</p><p>my finals week is over may 12th and i don't start my next semester until june! so i'll make up by updating everyday or every other day, it just depends 🥰</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: swearing, mentions of violence, signs of depression, hallucinations, nods at self harm, smoking, drinking, crisis of faith type beat<br/>word count: 5153</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily: "Panic is the sudden realization that everything around you is alive." William S. Burroughs.</p><p>Emily was going crazy. The one time she's absolutely sure it's okay to go outside, JJ is out there. That was Emily's luck.</p><p>The raven-haired woman stayed cooped up in her apartment for a week since she saw JJ. She had her doors locked at all times. She was trapped in her apartment in Rue Robert Turquan.</p><p>Emily's apartment was a modern studio apartment. Elizabeth had tried to persuade Emily to get something larger, but she refused. This was more than enough room.</p><p>A long hallway from the entrance leads to the main living room area. The balcony gave her a view of other buildings. She could see straight to the Eiffel tower if buildings weren't in the way.</p><p>She had a decent-sized kitchen that was sort of carved into the wall. Emily had a full-size refrigerator, so she wasn't complaining.</p><p>Her bedroom was in the main room but just divided by a wall. Her bed was pressed right against the windows. And the bathroom, which was in the corner. It came equipped with the essentials along with a washer.</p><p>Other than groceries, Emily had no reason to leave her studio apartment. But after a week of being camped out in here, she was starting to grow mad. The only color Emily would see daily was red and a splash of tan. Her apartment having been furnished with a tan coffee table, headboard, and matching cabinets. The landlord persisted Emily keep the bright red couch in the common area. Emily was even too scared to open her balcony curtains. She missed the feeling of the sun against her skin.</p><p>Her apartment was completely dark. Only minimal sunlight shined through. Dirty clothes, wrappers, torn-out papers from journals, and empty water bottles filled her apartment. She found herself lying around all day. Her body ached as it was tired of just sitting or laying down for more than it was used to.</p><p>Seeing JJ here sent her into a spiral. She felt enclosed like how she first got there. Breath, Emily, breath.</p><p>"Lauren, sweetheart."</p><p>"Emily Prentiss."</p><p>"Hello, Lauren."</p><p>"Emily! Can you hear me?"</p><p>"Shut up," Emily said and dragged her nails down her arms to shut up her thoughts. But they just kept getting louder. "Shut up!"</p><p>The woman shut her eyes and tried to knock the voices out of her head. Focus on something, anything else, Emily.</p><p>"Auntie! Auntie! Look at me!" Henry yelled as he and Jack ran around Spencer. The BAU was having a picnic in the park for Penelope's birthday. It was a lovely cool summer's day.</p><p>Emily's eyes widened as Henry managed to form a giant bubble as he ran. The boy was pointing at it before it popped.</p><p>"Emmy! Come try it!" Jack yelled and blew on the wand for bubbles to form. JJ and Aaron watched Emily from afar as she and Spencer chased around the two boys creating bubbles. Emily managed to scoop both boys up in her arms and over her shoulders.</p><p>"Come on, you two! I can hear your tummy's grumbling!" Emily said as the boys scrambled in her arms, giggling as Emily swung them around.</p><p>The sound of children laughing echoed in Emily's mind. Imagine how many memories, how many stories she's missed out on because of this.</p><p>"Mom, I made you this," Declan said and handed the drawing to Emily. Her eyes widened as she picked it up. It was a painting of the four of them—Tom, Louise, Declan, and herself.</p><p>"Wow! Oh man, buddy, you're an artist," Emily said and smiled over at the boy, who had a massive smile on his face. "I love it. And this is going to be framed in my office."</p><p>Emily looked over at the painting she had made sure to ask her mother for as she sent the rest of her things over from the states. It was still framed but now right next to Emily's bed.</p><p>"Why are you crying? Real men don't cry," Ian said as he grabbed Declan's arm. Lauren held him tight in her arms. The boy pulled his arm away from him and wrapped himself entirely around Lauren. The woman hugging him tightly. Ian made a move to grab him, but Lauren pulled away.</p><p>"He's just a child. Leave it be," Lauren said and held a hand out. Ian's jaw clenched.</p><p>"Put him down," he said sternly. Lauren only held onto the crying young boy tighter. "I said put him down!"</p><p>Lauren did. Declan wrapped around the woman's leg. Ian's body shook with rage as he smacked the woman right across the face. Declan was hiding behind her leg. Doyle grabbed him and placed him right in front of Lauren. She was holding her red cheek.</p><p>"This is what happens when people don't listen," Ian said and gripped the boy's arm so tight it was hurting him. Ian grabbed Lauren by her blouse and brought her in close. "Next time, don't be an idiot. And listen to your fiancé."</p><p>"I'm his father! I decide what's best for him, not you!"</p><p>"You're nothing to me."</p><p>"You do that again. I'll give you more than a black eye."</p><p>"I love you, Lauren. I'm sorry."</p><p>Emily's head was spinning at the different situations Doyle had abused her in. The woman shutting her eyes as tears fell freely.</p><p>"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Emily yelled and covered her ears with her hands.</p><p>She ran into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Her breathing was irregular as she opened her eyes. Her reflection stared back at her.</p><p>Emily grabbed the pair of scissors from the cabinet and clenched her jaw as she looked at herself. She was disgusted by what she saw. Long black hair, bruises around her throat, the brand was poking out on her chest, the scar on her cheek.</p><p>God, she hated herself.</p><p>She didn't think twice as she chopped off a huge chunk of her hair. The woman threw her hair in the sink. Too late to go back now. Emily kept cutting her hair until she got it to a pixie cut.</p><p>Emily threw down the scissors as tears welled up in her eyes. This was her third, almost fourth, month alone in Paris. She was going to go mad.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Emily's heart started to race as she walked out of the bathroom and towards her front door. She had her gun nuzzled behind her in her pants. She looked through the peephole and sighed. Emily opened the door and was met with a familiar face.</p><p>"Josephine! Are you alright? I thought I heard you yell?" Leo asked. The man was her next-door neighbor. The dark-skinned man with his warm smile was the only neighbor who grew interested in the woman who moved in.</p><p>"Yeah, just a nightmare," Emily said and smiled as she leaned against the door. "Would you like to come in?"</p><p>"Of course," Leo said and smiled as Emily invited him inside. The man was catching her new haircut. "Did you cut your hair?"</p><p>"Oh, yeah. I just—I needed something new," Emily said and walked into her kitchen. "I made some lemonade? Would you like some? I'm sorry for the mess."</p><p>"It's no problem. And yes, thank you. But first, darling, we need to fix your hair. It looks like you cut it yourself," Leo said and gently held onto Emily's arm. The two went back into her bathroom. The man set her down on the toilet as he looked at her. "I'm thinking, go a little bit shorter. I'll make sure it's even. And we dye it. I'd love to see what you look like with a dark burgundy hair color."</p><p>"You think?" Emily asked and ruffled her short hair.</p><p>"Trust me, darling, I know so," Leo said and smiled. "And of course, you can still come to me for your little problem. For you, I won't charge."</p><p>"You know I can't do that to you," Emily said and looked down at the branding that poked out from the top of her shirt.</p><p>"The offer still stands. Also, on the job, too," Leo said and patted the woman's arm. "I'm going to run next door. I think I may have some of the hair dye. If not, I'll run to the store."</p><p>The man was in and out of her apartment in under two minutes. When he came back, he had the box dye in his hair along with bleach. Emily smiled nervously before trusting him.</p><p>Hours later and Emily looked at herself in the mirror. She almost didn't recognize herself. Her hair was now a deep shade of burgundy. Her hair was so fluffy it was like she was transported back to the nineties when her hair was this short.</p><p>"Oh, Leo," Emily said and smiled as she held her hand over her heart. "I love it."</p><p>"It's the new you," Leo said and smiled. "I can tell your heart is hurting. You needed some weight lifted off of you. Plus, this hairstyle suits you so well."</p><p>"Thank you," Emily said as tears filled her eyes. Leo smiled back at her through the mirror. "How much do I owe you?"</p><p>"Nothing, darling. This is your neighborly welcome," Leo said and hugged the woman from behind. The two were smiling at each other in the mirror. "But, if you did want to do me a favor, I could use a receptionist at my shop."</p><p>"Leo, you know I can't work," Emily said softly. She turned and led the man out to the main room again. "I love that you're so kind to me, but I can just pay you for the haircut."</p><p>"I don't want your money, Josephine. I want you to come and work for me. Morning and afternoons only. A decent starting salary. I won't have you work nights," Leo said and leaned against the counter wall dividing the kitchen from the main room. "You can kick your feet up and relax in the tattoo parlor all day. Just write in appointments, answer phones, and handle delivery packages."</p><p>"I'll think about it, okay?" Emily said and poured the man and herself some of the lemonade she had made just yesterday.</p><p>"It's not good for you to be stuck inside. We're humans, Josephine. We were made to move," Leo said and thanked her for the glass. The two cheered before taking a sip. "I don't know what happened to you, and it's not my business to know. But, I'll surely be the most understanding boss you'll ever have. Whatever day you don't feel like coming to work, you can work from home. But all I'm asking for is a yes or no."</p><p>"I'll give you an answer by tomorrow," Emily said and smiled softly. The man nodded his head as he downed the rest of the lemonade in his glass.</p><p>"I'll hopefully see you tomorrow," Leo said and set down his glass. He patted Emily's hand before smiling and walking out of the apartment.</p><p>Emily sighed as she set down her glass. Emily was, once upon a time, a workaholic. But now, she was terrified of walking out of her apartment.</p><p>Previously before seeing JJ, Emily was adapting to her life in France. She was getting used to taking a cab to the market and even spending most of the sunset time out on her balcony, sunglasses and a large sun hat covering her almost entirely. She was hiding in plain sight now.</p><p>Emily's mind was slipping back to how it was when she first got here. She wanted nothing more than to pick up the phone and call her fiancé and beg him to fly back for her. But now she couldn't. She didn't have a fiancé anymore for her own selfless reasons of putting their happiness before her own.</p><p>She missed him, every day, all day. She missed his touch, the gentle kisses he'd place on her head, the constant looks and words of reassurance, the gentleness of Aaron Hotchner.</p><p>Emily cried as she slid herself down the refrigerator. Her body was slowly hugging itself as she cried. Emily muffled her sobs as she buried her face into her elbow. Emily was in a world full of pain with nobody to let it out to. She stayed there for almost an hour, just stormed with thoughts and an endless amount of tears before she got up and moved herself to her bed.</p><p>Emily hated her life. She wanted nothing more than to start fresh. Drop all her baggage back at the landing strip and just completely let everything go. But she couldn't. She wouldn't. Emily needed to see Declan again.</p><p>"The sun is setting, Emily. It'll be a new day tomorrow. Just get through this last bit of today," Emily said as tears freely fell from her eyes. She grabbed her journal and opened it to a new page.</p><p>Dear Penelope,</p><p>It's Emily. I've been having a really rough time adapting to life in Paris. Well, all was going well until I saw JJ. But now I'm back to the way it was before. I got a haircut I know you'll love. My next-door neighbor did it for me. He's an angel. He's constantly checking in on me to make sure I'm doing okay. He's my Paris version of you. I miss you more and more every day. I bought you little knickknacks from the store for your desk. I'll hopefully see you soon so I can give them to you. Be strong, Penelope. I miss you and love you very much.</p><p>Emily.</p><p>The raven-haired woman tilted her head back and sighed. One hundred twenty-one letters. One for every day that Emily has been in Paris. Each one was to a different member of her team. She wrote food reviews and new recipes she's tried to Rossi. She knew he'd be proud she's actually trying to learn how to cook. She'd write to Spencer about books she's been reading. Emily had a small library back in the States, which she filled but never read all of them. Emily would write to Penelope about the different fashion styles in Paris. She knew Garcia has never been and would love to see the different styles compared to the States. She'd write to Derek about the television shows she'd watch. Derek and her would always trade shows to watch when the other was sick. It made her feel like old times. Emily would write to JJ about all the stories she'd hear when she used to sit out on the balcony. She'd also write to JJ about gifts that she planned on getting them. And Emily wrote to Aaron about how much she missed him. How this situation has stripped her down to nothing but a shell of the woman she once was.</p><p>She hated this reassignment. Emily wanted to go home already. Just make the best of it, Emily. Just make the best of it.</p><p>Emily got up and went into her drawers. She shuffled around a bit before she grabbed the carton of cigarettes. She got one out and tapped it against her hands. She'd been about three years clean. The woman was so close several times, but she was stronger. But now, Emily was completely alone with nothing to lose now. She placed the cigarette between her lips and lit it. Emily shut her eyes and inhaled the nicotine. She relaxed as she exhaled it. Emily went towards her balcony and walked out, her eyes adjusting to the yellow-orange tint sunlight as Emily finally felt the sun on her skin again. She inhaled the nicotine again as she rested her arms against the railing, her eyes glancing down to the pedestrians walking down the street. Emily slowly exhaled the smoke from her lungs.</p><p>By the time Emily finished her cigarette, the sun finally set. Emily threw down her cigarette in an ashtray before she went back inside. She shut the curtains and sat back down in her bed. Emily cradled her head in her hands as she closed her eyes.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I broke it," Emily said softly as she started to cry. "I'm sorry for breaking my streak, Aaron."</p><p>Emily didn't even realize she went to sleep. She woke up nine hours later to the sounds of her neighbors arguing. Emily looked around and saw the time. It was almost seven in the morning. For the first time in a week, Emily sighed and got up, and slightly opened her curtains. She smiled slightly at the morning sun hitting her. It didn't take long to shower, get dress and head out the door.</p><p>The woman found herself in front of the shop. She gulped as she walked through the door. The bell-ringing gave the owners an alert.</p><p>"Ah! Josephine," the man said and opened his arms up. Emily walked towards him and wrapped her arms around him. "It's good to see you. Please, come in. I'll get you some water so we can talk."</p><p>"Thank you," Emily said and followed Leo into an office room in the back. He handed Emily a bottle of water and sat down against his desk.</p><p>"So, do you have an answer for me?" Leo asked and tilted his head.</p><p>"Yes, I'll gladly accept the position. But, I need a couple of things done first," Emily said and gulped. "I need my cover-ups done. I can pay you upfront for them. Or you can take it out of my paychecks. I just can't look at them anymore. I need them done, Leo. And after they're done, I can start working here."</p><p>"I'm glad to see you took up on my offer. Let's get started," Leo said and stood up, offering the woman his hand. Emily gladly took it and smiled up at him. The two went into one of the rooms. Emily took off her hoodie, revealing her tank top underneath. Emily took a quick glance in the mirror and shook her head. Leo didn't say anything as he prepped everything he needed.</p><p>"Which ones are we doing today? Did you want to do both and what of?" Leo asked and handed the woman an album of different tattoo ideas. She didn't even look at it as she set it down next to her.</p><p>"I want this one covered first," Emily said and pulled down her tank top just enough to reveal the complete branding on her breast. The man nodded his head. "I want something for my boy. I want his birth flower: a violet."</p><p>"What's his name?" Leo asked as he grabbed his tablet, starting a sketch of the flower.</p><p>"Declan."</p><p>"That's a lovely name," Leo said and chuckled. "It's Irish, right?"</p><p>"Yes, my ex-husband was Irish. He persisted on the name. It means full of goodness," Emily said and smiled softly. "There's no other name to describe him. He was a ray of walking sunshine. He just wanted goodness in the world. That's my boy."</p><p>"Well, he sounds lovely. Where is he? I'd love to meet him," Leo said as he kept his eye on the tablet in front of him. Emily was quiet as she held her hand over the branding.</p><p>"He died back in the States," Emily said softly. Leo looked up at Emily and nodded his head.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Josephine," Leo said just above a whisper. "Is that why you have that branding on you? Forgive me for asking, but I'm just curious."</p><p>"Yes," Emily said as tears filled her eyes. "I don't want this reminder of how those monsters took him from the world. I want a reminder of him as he was before."</p><p>"Well, I'll be happy to give you that," Leo said and smiled. "Now, I'm thinking black and white to hide the brand as much as we can. I'll make this tattoo beautiful."</p><p>Hours later, they were finally finished with the first tattoo. Emily stood up and mentally prepared herself to look in the mirror. She took a deep breath before nodding. Leo handed her the mirror and smiled. Emily's eyes filled with tears as she looked at it. There was no more four-leaf clover staring back at her. Now, it was a small bouquet of two flowers with leaves on the sides—one flower for Emily, one flower for Declan.</p><p>Emily's hand covered her sob as she cried. "Thank you. Thank you, Leo."</p><p>"Anything for family," Leo said and smiled. "You're a part of my family now. You can always lean on any of us for anything, Josephine, don't hesitate to ask."</p><p>"Thank you," Emily said softly as she wrapped her arms around the man. He happily hugged her back. Emily calmed herself in the man's touch. "I'll come back tomorrow for the other one? That one is going to take a while."</p><p>"Don't worry about time, Josephine," Leo said and smiled. Emily threw her sweater back on. The two said their goodbyes before Emily left. She was about to hail a taxi, but she caught the church in the corner of her eye.</p><p>"Fine," Emily said softly and walked towards the church. It had been years since Emily had stepped foot into a church. She had a bad relationship with religion ever since she was a child. Everything the church preached about, Emily thought the exact opposite. It drove her mother crazy, which was the start of the wedge between the two. A conservative ambassador and a rebellious daughter was a tale as old as time.</p><p>Emily pushed the large door opened and looked out towards the empty church. The raven-haired woman sat in the last pew. She stared straight ahead towards the crucifixion. Emily interlocked her fingers together in front of her. She just sat there for minutes as she tried to feel something, anything, while looking at the structures.</p><p>"You don't find God through force," a voice said from behind her. Emily turned to follow the voice, and a priest stood there. He took off his glasses and looked towards Emily. "You let him come to you. I can tell you haven't stepped foot in a church in a while. It's good to see you here trying to patch up that relationship."</p><p>"Is it that obvious that I don't believe?" Emily asked and did a quick glance over to the doors. Nobody else was in the church.</p><p>"Painfully, yes. But it's alright. God gives free will. You can believe what you want," the priest said and leaned against the pew across from Emily. "When was your last confession?"</p><p>"Confess to me, and this can all be over," Ian said and aimed the gun right at Emily. She shut her eyes as she felt the barrel right against her head.</p><p>"We're losing her!" an EMT shouted as Emily's eyes slowly shut. Around her was cold and darkness. Legally and actually, she was dead for two minutes. There was no welcome. There was no bright light. And there certainly wasn't a God there with warm arms.</p><p>The raven-haired woman shut her eyes and subconsciously ran her hand over the branding. The skin sensitive there from her tattoo. Emily felt her breathing picking up as she tried to calm herself. The priest raised his eyebrows as Emily didn't answer.</p><p>"I have a question. Does God feel guilty watching people's lives crumble?" Emily asked and clenched her jaw. "Because he has one sick sense of humor if that's the case."</p><p>The priest sat back and studied Emily. The woman shook her head as she looked forward. "Something happened to you. You're hurt and projecting your struggles towards God."</p><p>"All I'm saying is that your God expects too much of people sometimes," Emily said and stood up.</p><p>"You always have a chance to rebuild with God," the priest said and shrugged his shoulders. "There are such things as second chances."</p><p>"Not with me," Emily said and clenched her jaw. "Your God takes too much and expects me to come back crawling in his arms. God doesn't stop bullets and stabbings. God doesn't greet you when you die. God sure as hell doesn't stop bad men from taking your boy. So what is he good for! He ruined my life! I came here for answers, and I'm leaving with more questions."</p><p>The priest nodded his head as she walked off. Emily shook her head as she walked out of the church. She should have never gone in there. God wasn't there for her. Why should she be there for him?</p><p>Emily made it home and threw down her bag. She took a deep breath and looked around her apartment. Emily had to calm herself as she looked around at her mess of an apartment.</p><p>She needed to get out of here. Emily grabbed her landline phone and immediately dialed the emergency number. She waited as she slid herself down the wall.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Tom," Emily said softly. "Put him on. I can only stay on the phone for a minute."</p><p>There was shuffling going on in the background. "Hi, mom."</p><p>"Hi, baby," Emily said softly. Tears fell freely from her eyes. "Oh honey, I miss you so much."</p><p>"I miss you too. When are you coming back?" Declan asked and looked back at Tom. The man had a sad look on his face.</p><p>"Hopefully soon, okay? Listen, honey, I can't stay on the phone for long. But I just needed to call and tell you how much I love you, okay?" Emily said and wiped her tears away. "I think about you every day. I'm so sorry I have to be away."</p><p>"I love you too. Please come home soon, mom," Declan said as tears fell from his eyes. Emily nodded her head.</p><p>"Tom, you know what to do. Delete everything. I love you guys. Be careful," Emily said and hung up the phone. She ran her hands through her hair as she cried.</p><p>"Bring him back. I want my life back, you fucking son of a bitch!" Emily yelled up to the ceiling. "I want to go home. I want David, and Spencer and Penelope and Derek and Aaron and JJ. I want my boy back! You fucking useless piece of shit!"</p><p>Emily kept herself in the same spot, rocking herself to try and shake the voices that clouded her head. She was alone, completely and utterly alone, with nobody knowing who she is. And that drove Emily to insanity.</p><p>The people she needed the most thought she was six feet underground. The woman didn't even feel like herself anymore.</p><p>"You win," Emily said as she buried her face into her hands. "You win. Is that what you want me to say? You're supposed to stop suffering! Not make more of it."</p><p>"Hey, hey," a voice said softly. Emily glanced over at the balcony. A figure of the man came into view. He knelt down right in front of her. "No tears, princess."</p><p>"Derek," Emily said softly as tears fell freely. "Derek, make it stop. Please make it stop."</p><p>"This is just a bump in the road, princess. You and I both know you're stronger than this. The team and I were all fighting tooth and nail, looking for him so you can come home. And when we find you, I swear, I will never let you go again," Derek said and gently touched Emily's face. "Just a little bit longer, Emily. We're coming, okay?"</p><p>Emily nodded as the man embraced her in a tight hug. The woman needed it so desperately. She never wanted to let him go.</p><p>"I love you. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye," Emily said softly. "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."</p><p>"All is forgiven as long as you come home," Derek said and shut his eyes as he savored this moment. Emily nodded her head as she held onto him tighter.</p><p>In reality, Emily was tightly hugging a pillow that was nearby on the floor. Her tears were soaking through the material as she held onto it for dear life. Her entire body was shaking as she cried.</p><p>Stay strong for him. Stay strong for them.</p><p>Emily had fallen asleep soon afterward. Surprisingly she had no nightmares for the second day in a row. Emily had gotten used to little or no sleep now, but after crying her heart out, she finally got some rest.</p><p>The raven-haired woman grabbed the carton of cigarettes first thing in the morning. She lit one and sighed as the smoke entered her lungs. Emily walked up to her drawer and grabbed herself the bottle of champagne she had bought not too long ago. She poured herself a drink as she sat back in her bed. It was noon somewhere.</p><p>Dear Dave,</p><p>Firstly, happy birthday. I know it's a little early (two weeks, to be exact), but I'm going to start working now. Dad, I know you'd probably be livid that I'm working in a tattoo shop, but a job is a job.</p><p>Leo is nice. He's my next-door neighbor. And don't worry, I don't do any tattooing. Just schedule the appointments and answer phones.</p><p>Just the other day, I went down to the supermarket and got myself a bottle of champagne for the two of us. I'm pouring you out a drink. It's not the best since you didn't pick it, but it's what I could do. When I'm back home, I'll make sure the two of us come back to Paris for an entire bottle of champagne and maybe even a few cigars.</p><p>I love you, dad. Have a very happy fifty-eighth birthday, Rossi. I'll hopefully see you soon.</p><p>Emily.</p><p>Emily shut the journal and sighed. </p><p>Please, please come back soon.</p><p>Emily: "Nothing makes a deeper impression on a boy than seeing his strong mother suddenly girlish and hurt." Stefan Hertmans.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this one hurt. this one hurt like a BITCH to write</p><p>which team member do y'all wanna see focused on next chapter?👀</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. david</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if this chapter has a lot of spelling errors or mistakes, i'm so sorry. i managed to juggle around three finals to get started on and writing. So these next couple of chapters won't be proofread at all😅</p><p>also fun fact! there's an actual place in dc called "the diner" so it's not just me being vague about it lmao all restaurants and places mentioned in this story are real😭</p><p>i'm exhausted and want to sleep but i have a boat load of work to do and edits so no sleep for salem🥳</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: alcohol abuse, mentions of drinking at work, mentions of smoking, outbursts of anger, swearing, hallucinations<br/>word count: 4819</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rossi: "Fear, poverty, alcoholism, loneliness are terminal illness. Emergencies, in fact." Lucia Berlin.</p><p>The four agents stood right against the black SUV. All had their eyes fixed on the door in front of them. Slowly, the doors opened, and a familiar blonde-haired woman walked out. JJ kept her eyes down as she walked out with the nurse right next to her. She looked worse than before. Her bags had gotten darker. JJ even looked skinnier than when she was admitted.</p><p>All four of them paused as JJ slowly lifted her eyes to see them there. Her eyes filled with tears. Rossi stepped away from the group and walked towards JJ. The blonde woman broke away from the nurse and running to him.</p><p>"Kiddo," David said as JJ practically jumped into his arms. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as she cried. David shut his eyes as he held JJ. "I got you. I've got you, JJ."</p><p>"Rossi," JJ said as tears fell from her eyes. The man just held her tightly.</p><p>"You're okay. We've got you now," David said and rubbed the woman's back. A weight lifted off of his shoulders as the woman was now in his arms.</p><p>"Happy Birthday, Dave," JJ said softly. The rest of the team all surrounding the woman in a group hug. JJ's tears were falling freely as she felt the presence of her team surrounding her with love and protection. "Hi, guys."</p><p>"You're here," Penelope said and nuzzled her face right against JJ's arm. "We missed you."</p><p>"So much," Spencer finished and rested his head against JJ's.</p><p>"Like a lot," Derek said and chuckled. The group broke away from each other. JJ's smiled softly at each individual member.</p><p>"Are you hungry? We were going to go to the diner for a brunch since it's Rossi's birthday," Penelope said and placed her hand on Rossi's arm. JJ nodded her head as the four of them shuffled the woman towards the car. They all piled into the car before Derek took off down the road.</p><p>"Pull over right up the road. I have to do something before we go for brunch," Rossi said and pointed in the direction towards the church. Derek nodded and did as the man said. Rossi unbuckled his seat belt.</p><p>"Can I go with you?" Spencer asked and made a move to undo his seatbelt. Rossi nodded as Reid got out of the car. The other three agents all shrugged their shoulders. The two men headed into the church.</p><p>Rossi looked right towards the crucifix and did the sign of the cross. Spencer, who was behind him, mirrored him not to be disrespectful. The two men headed towards the candles in the back. Spencer observed Rossi as he walked up to the candles.</p><p>"I know you're not the religious type. But I wanted to do something," Rossi said and smiled softly at Spencer. He handed him a match. "You light a candle when you want to send a prayer to someone. Usually, these things are all full up on holidays or birthdays and anniversaries. Or just as an 'I thought about you.'"</p><p>"To be closer to the loved one that passed," Spencer said and looked towards the seven candles that were lit. Seven other souls that needed prayers.</p><p>"I didn't want to celebrate my birthday this year. It didn't feel right because we're all not together. Things are weird between all of us right now. Especially since Emily's death," Rossi said and played with the match in his hand. "But I didn't want her to think that nobody wasn't thinking about her."</p><p>"What do you say when you light the candle?" Spencer asked and furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"A pray, typically," Rossi said simply and shrugged his shoulders. Spencer tilted his head.</p><p>"What if you don't know how to pray?" Spencer asked and sighed softly.</p><p>"Then you tell them how much you miss them or love them," Rossi said and picked the top candle. He lit the match and lit the candle he had chosen. Rossi blew out the match before doing the sign of the cross. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the flask that he brought with him. He nodded his head as he raised the flask and took a drink. The man pouring out a bit in the trash can for Emily. "I miss you, kiddo."</p><p>"Do you come a lot to visit her?" Spencer asked and looked around at the candles.</p><p>"Not as much as I'd like to. I still haven't gone to visit her grave," Rossi said sadly. He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "But when I do, I sit here for a little. It's like I can almost hear the sarcastic comment she's been holding in. 'Well, it took you long enough, Rossi. I thought you were off getting married again.'"</p><p>Spencer chuckled as Rossi took another drink. His eyes were landing on the flask that was now half empty. Spencer picked a candle close to the top, right below Rossi's. He lit it and smiled slightly as he blew out the match.</p><p>"I miss you too," Spencer said softly. The two stayed looking at the candles a little bit longer before leaving. Spencer turned towards the crucifixion at the front. He started to feel a burn in his arm. Spencer subconsciously scratched the area of his arm as his eyes never left the alter. He stopped itching when he realized what he was doing. </p><p>The two went back into the car. The rest of the team noticed the flask Rossi placed back into his jacket pocket. It was no secret Rossi loved to drink. But, this was very different.</p><p>It had gotten to the point where they would smell the alcohol on his breath first thing in the morning. Rossi was taking Emily's death hard. Being the eldest one in the group, he felt as though he had responsibility for everyone.</p><p>The five agents made their way to the diner. All of them chatting and talking amongst themselves. Rossi, however, slipped into the background. He didn't feel like talking. He didn't feel right being happy when there was a part of his team that was missing.</p><p>"I'm sorry I didn't get you a present. I had something up my sleeve. But I've been a little busy," JJ said sarcastically as she leaned towards Rossi. The man smiled slightly. "What's going on?"</p><p>"Nothing," David said and took a sip of his coffee. JJ squinted her eyes as she watched him.</p><p>"Dave, I can smell the alcohol on your breath. What's going on?" JJ asked again. David sighed and glanced around the table now that all eyes were on him.</p><p>"I miss her," Rossi said as he took a deep breath to calm himself and suppress his urge to cry. "She said she was going to pay me back for that scotch bottle I had gotten her for her birthday this past year."</p><p>"Knowing Prentiss, she was probably going to get you some fancy pack of cigars or something," Penelope said and bit into her pancakes.</p><p>"We know she's probably sitting down right here next to us," Derek said and pointed towards the small empty table next to them. "Waffles and strawberries, probably stealing your hash browns as we speak."</p><p>"I'm surprised she hasn't just taken a bit of your bagel already," Spencer said and smiled sadly. The entire table fell silent as the memory of Emily flooded each of them.</p><p>"Have you guys gotten any leads on Doyle?" JJ asked, finally breaking the silence between all of them. They all shook their heads. She sighed softly. "What can I do to help?"</p><p>"We can jump back into work tomorrow. Right now, let's just have some family time. As much as I want to catch him too, I hear Emily's voice telling us that it's not healthy to be working tirelessly to find him. She'd tell us to stop and smell the roses," Penelope said and reached over, placing her hand on top of JJ's.</p><p>"I know we all miss her, but Penelope's right. Even a workaholic like Emily Prentiss was, she'd stop for a break every once and a while, too," Derek said and patted Rossi's arm as his other hand wrapped around Spencer's shoulder.</p><p>"How are we doing here?" the waitress asked and looked out towards the group of agents. They all gave her the best smile they all could.</p><p>"It's someone's birthday today," Spencer said and gestured towards Rossi. The man squinting his eyes over at Spencer. "And since I remember everything, he loves pecan pie."</p><p>"I'll make sure to get you that free slice of pie. Happy birthday," she said and chuckled. Rossi thanked her as the woman walked off.</p><p>"Happy seventy-seventh birthday, old man," Derek said jokingly. Rossi shook his head.</p><p>"This old man can still reach across the table and punch you," David said and rolled his eyes. The entire table was laughing at the remark.</p><p>The group of agents all finished up their breakfast in peace. The waitress was kind enough to bring Rossi a slice of pecan pie and got the kitchen staff to sing to him, much to his disagreement. The five agents all smiled as Rossi split the piece of pie into six clumps. Rossi made sure to leave a slice at the end of the table for Emily. The five agents all dispersing after the brunch.</p><p>David made his way home and sighed as he entered his house. He tossed his keys down and headed straight towards his living room. The man grabbed the scotch bottle from his cabinet before settling down in front of the television.</p><p>He didn't even grab himself a glass as he opened the bottle and drank it straight from the bottle. He wasn't drinking to enjoy the alcohol like usual. He was drinking to forget about everything.</p><p>Sometimes, he wished he could rewind the movie of his life and rewrite the outcomes of it. This was one of those outcomes. An agent who was like a daughter to him had died when he took an oath to protect her over anything.</p><p>Even though the BAU preaches to the choir that it's nobody's fault when someone is the victim of murder, the thought still lingers. He could have prevented this. With all his years of experience, he should have known that Emily was hiding a big secret like a child. Emily was no stranger to showing her undying affection for children. Now, he knew why she overcompensated on making sure Jack and Henry were both loved beyond expense. Emily was filling the void of missing her own child.</p><p>Of course, now, knowing that that's the truth, it was staring Rossi right at him. And he was mad at everyone and himself for not seeing it sooner.</p><p>David didn't hesitate to take another drink from his bottle as he sat back and just watched the news play out right in front of him. Everything in the world was numb. It was so odd for a man who once felt everything for everyone to now feel nothing. Maybe that was just the alcohol talking.</p><p>The man stood up and grabbed a cigar of his. He went out to his backyard and sat down in his seat. Rossi grabbed a match and lit it. He took a deep inhale of the smoke and exhaled—the man relaxing as he looked out to the backyard.</p><p>"Happy birthday!" they all shouted as Emily rounded the corner. The six other agents had planned a surprise birthday party for her.</p><p>"Oh, there she is! It's my birthday girl," Rossi said and handed Emily a glass of champagne. Emily wrapped her arms around Rossi as she hugged him tightly.</p><p>"Thanks, Dad," Emily said as Rossi kissed her cheek.</p><p>The sound of Rossi's doorbell ringing is what brought him back down to reality. He set down his cigar and got up, jogging to the door. He opened his door and was met with a small smile.</p><p>"Ahh, there's my long lost son," David said jokingly. Aaron shook his head as he walked up to the man, engulfing him into a tight hug.</p><p>"I had to come and see you on your birthday since it's your day off," Aaron said and patted his back. Rossi gestured for the man to come inside.</p><p>"I thought I mentioned you on the group chat for brunch this morning," Rossi said and shut the door behind them. As Aaron walked by, he could smell the intense mixture of alcohol and cigar smoke from Rossi's breath. Aaron nodded his head. "JJ got released today."</p><p>"I know," Aaron said and did a quick glance around Rossi's living room. His eyes were landing on the bottle of scotch. "I know she's outraged with me. I figured she needed some time to cool off."</p><p>There was an unsettling silence between the two.</p><p>"Why did you do it? I mean, you've talked down the most dangerous unsubs we've seen. But you immediately called the cops to have her picked up. She wasn't going to hurt anyone," Rossi said and grabbed the bottle that Aaron was looking at.</p><p>"Can we not talk about this? I thought it was your day off," Aaron said and shook his head slightly.</p><p>"My love for them never takes days off," Rossi said and shrugged his shoulders. He took a drink from the bottle. Aaron raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"How much have you had to drink?" Aaron asked and tried to grab the bottle from David. The man pulled it back and kept his distance from him.</p><p>"It's my birthday, Aaron. Give me a break," David said and sat back down with the bottle in his hands. Hotch clenched his jaw and glanced at the man. Aaron stood tall as Rossi looked up at him.</p><p>"I've never seen you like this," Aaron said and sat down right next to him.</p><p>"How are you holding up?" Rossi asked, intentionally changing the subject. Aaron noticed and just decided to say anything that might upset Rossi.</p><p>"I've been better. Jack keeps asking for Emily. I'm doing about how anyone would," Aaron said and shrugged his shoulders. "I started my runs in the morning again at Rock Creek Park. I'm just trying to distract myself."</p><p>"That's good," Rossi said and patted the man's leg. The entire rest of the time Aaron was at the man's house, he couldn't help but notice how Rossi would shamelessly take a large swig of the liquor. This wasn't a good sign for David.</p><p>It was the next day, and Dave found himself being the first one at the BAU. He walked up to his office and shut the door and blinds. Rossi sat down on his chair and sighed. He had a headache, and his eyes were sensitive to the light. He may have had too much to drink last night.</p><p>Rossi rubbed his temples as he grabbed his travel coffee mug. He left a space just at the top. David paused, carefully listening to see if he could hear footsteps. When he didn't, he grabbed his flask from his pocket and poured the bourbon into his coffee.</p><p>"Dad, we're going to need more bourbon. Luckily for you, I have a boyfriend who loves to make me happy with anything I want, so I'll send him to go pick more up," Emily said as she sat down at the counter, watching Rossi as he started cooking.</p><p>"Why do you like to call me that?" Rossi asked and kept his focus on the pasta in front of him. Emily furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"What? Dad?" Emily asked, earning a nod from Rossi. She chuckled and ran her finger over her glass. "I don't know. My dad was a jackass. And, I never had the most loving relationship with either of my parents. So, projection? You're probably one of the only older authorities I've met that I don't have a burning hatred for."</p><p>"I'm honored, kiddo," David said and chuckled.</p><p>"So, dad," Emily said and kicked back into her seat with her glass in hand. Rossi shook his head at the nickname, making Emily chuckle. "What? Do you seriously not like me calling you that?"</p><p>"It makes me feel old," Rossi said and squinted his eyes at Emily. The woman, who was already tipsy, laughed and sat up, leaning over the counter.</p><p>"I'm still going to call you Dad. Unless you prefer grandpa, but you'd have to go silver if that's the case," Emily said and chuckled as Rossi threw a spaghetti noodle at her.</p><p>"If I hear any of the others call me dad, I'll know who to blame," Rossi said and pointed his knife at Emily. The woman sat back with her hands up in surrender.</p><p>"Does this mean I'm your favorite?" Emily asked and took a sip of her strong liquor. When Rossi didn't answer, her eyes widened. "And you said you don't have favorites!"</p><p>"I love you all. I just have days where I favor each of you more," Rossi said and sprinkled the parsley onto the pasta.</p><p>"Mhmm, I'm your favorite," Emily said and smiled widely at Rossi. The two cheered their glasses before taking a sip of the liquor.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Rossi!" Derek yelled from the other side of the door. David came back down to reality and quickly put away his flask and grabbed his coffee mug. He opened the door and smiled at Derek. "Well, good morning. I thought you passed out from a hangover in there. Little too much liquor last night?"</p><p>"Something like that," David said and patted the man's shoulder. Derek furrowed his eyebrows as Rossi walked out and down towards the rest of the team, who were all sitting at their desks.</p><p>"How long have they been in there?" Penelope asked as JJ and Hotch were in his office. The group all turned to Rossi.</p><p>"Don't ask me. I went straight to my office when I got here," David asked and held his hands up in surrender. He placed down his coffee mug as he tried to see through the semi-closed blinds.</p><p>"I don't like this. Why should it be up to Hotch to determine her state of mind? He already made it perfectly clear that he thinks she's crazy. I mean, why else have her sent to a psychiatric hospital?" Derek asked and crossed his arms. Spencer and Penelope both sighed.</p><p>"I wanted to do the sit-in on her psych evaluation, but he said no," Spencer said and pursed her lips. "He said that we'd have a bias towards her."</p><p>"Now that's bullshit. Hotch had Rossi sit in on his evaluation when Strauss was keeping an eye on him after Haley died," Derek said and shook his head. Rossi stayed quiet as the two looked to be almost in a fair argument back and forth. He shook his head and walked back to his office.</p><p>The three other agents all turned towards the office door that shut. All decided not to say anything as JJ finally walked out. The blonde woman looked enraged. Penelope knew that look better than anyone.</p><p>JJ grabbed her travel mug and took a sip of it. She spat it back up with a groan when she tasted the strong bourbon. The entire team, including Aaron, who was watching from his window, raised eyebrows.</p><p>"It's spiked. This isn't mine," JJ said and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Aaron got up and walked out to the bullpen. He grabbed the mug from JJ and opened the lid.</p><p>"Who's coffee is this?" Aaron asked and coughed as he smelled the strong bourbon from it. They all shook their heads when it hit them.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Come in," Rossi said as he didn't look towards the door. JJ walked in and shut the door behind her. "Hey, kiddo."</p><p>"Hey," JJ said and set down Rossi's empty coffee mug in front of him. He shut his eyes as he saw it. He had been caught. "They sent me in here to talk to you. Hotch wanted it to be my initiation back in."</p><p>"There's nothing to say," Rossi said and shook his head. JJ sat down in the chair across from him.</p><p>"I'll tell you my trauma if you tell me yours," JJ sang out softly, making Rossi chuckle. "Rossi. You have to talk to me. If you go out there, who knows what Hotch is going to do. We've already seen how relentless he is with sending people away."</p><p>There was a long silence as the two urged the other to talk. Rossi finally broke.</p><p>"Normally, people drink for a special occasion: birthday, holiday, anniversary, something. I drink to feel closer to her," Rossi said and pulled out his flask. JJ just sat back and watched as he took a drink. "And to forget the image of Emily laying down on the floor, bleeding out with a stake in her, and all I can do is hope that the medics are running as fast as they can to get to her. I want to forget it, JJ. I've prayed to forget it."</p><p>"Hand me the flask, Rossi," JJ said softly as she reached over the desk. Rossi only held onto it tighter.</p><p>"The image of her laying on the ground, and never getting back up, is something I want to forget," Rossi said as tears filled his eyes. "Because I've seen Emily when she was alive. Emily is a fighter. She doesn't give up. She always gets. Back. Up."</p><p>"She died fighting Rossi. That was the one thing she knew how to do. She died fighting for us," JJ said and placed her hand on the flask. "Now we have to fight for her. We find that son of a bitch. And we make sure he pays for Emily's death. I know Emily. I loved Emily. I want to make sure she can rest easy, and the only way I can do that is to make sure her son is safe. We have to keep fighting, Rossi. For her. We cannot let him win, not like this. And that flask in your hand is only making sure he Doyle get away with it."</p><p>Rossi and JJ both stared at each other and nodded. The man let go of the flask. JJ grabbed it and pulled it away from him.</p><p>"Where did that little speech come from?" Rossi asked and smiled slightly at JJ. The woman clenched her jaw.</p><p>"When I was in the psych center, they told me that Emily was a delusion. When I was in there, they made me practice disassociation. As if she wasn't a real fucking person. They told me that if I acted like she didn't exist, that she'd simply go away over time," JJ said and clenched her jaw.</p><p>"Let me guess, she never did," Rossi said and tilted his head. JJ shook her head.</p><p>"One of the deals I made with Hotch was that I wouldn't bring her up: that I would have to practice disassociation here too. Basically, act like she doesn't exist," JJ said and chuckled sadly. "Didn't. Didn't exist. I'm under a microscope now with what I say about her. So, you're my person now. You're the person I'll conceal in to talk about her if that's okay?"</p><p>"Emily's a memory now. Not a burden," David said and leaned over the desk, placing his hand on JJ's. "How about weekly meetings to get through it. I'll cook. As long as you make the desserts."</p><p>"That sounds great," JJ said and smiled. "Thank you, Rossi."</p><p>"Thank you," David said and patted JJ's hand as he sat back. JJ stood up and wiped her eyes to make it seem like she gave Rossi a stern talking. She was about to step out of his office when she turned. JJ walked towards his desk and opened the cabinet. She grabbed the bottle of scotch and bourbon before walking out. Rossi pursed his lips as she stepped out with all the liquor in his office.</p><p>The man is already getting overwhelmed without the alcohol to take the edge off.</p><p>"I'm proud of you, dad," Emily said and smiled as she sat on the couch across from Rossi. "Next, maybe those cigars."</p><p>"You first with those cigarettes," Rossi said and shook his head. Emily chuckled.</p><p>The workday went on as the team didn't bother to say anything to Rossi. He was locked away and didn't want to be bothered. They all respected that. All except for one. Aaron clenched his jaw as he sat back and shook his head. Dave was never a drinker at work. He knew when to flip the switch on and off.</p><p>Rossi was first to leave. Saying a quick goodbye to the rest of the team as he practically ran out to avoid Aaron's boss talk. He made it home, surprisingly, as he neared soberness.</p><p>But when he shut the door behind him into his house, he stared back at the bottles of liquor. All of them waited to be drunk by him. He couldn't help it. He caved, grabbing Emily's favorite bottle of scotch. Rossi took a swig of it as he sat down on his couch. He tried to put the bottle down. Really, Rossi did try. But he couldn't.</p><p>Hours had passed, and a good bit of the bourbon bottle was empty. Rossi's vision was fuzzy as he squinted his eyes at the light.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"It's open!" Rossi shouted as best as he could. Aaron walked in and sighed at Rossi's state. Dave looked up at him and shook his head. "Get out. I don't need you to see this."</p><p>"You need help," Aaron said simply and stuffed his hands into his pockets.</p><p>"I don't need your help," Rossi slurred out. "Are you going to send me to a psychiatric hospital too? Or will you be courteous and drive me yourself?"</p><p>"Dave—"</p><p>"I said get out," Rossi said and stood up. Aaron grabbed onto him as he almost fell over completely. Rossi fought to get Aaron off of him.</p><p>"Look at yourself, Dave. Your drunk. Let's get you upstairs to get you cleaned up," Aaron said and tried to move Rossi towards the stairs.</p><p>"Don't tell me what I am," Rossi said and clenched his jaw. Hotch had finally had enough.</p><p>"You want to throw your life away? Fine! So be it! You're drunk, and you're going to do something stupid if you don't let me help you! But what do I care!" Aaron yelled and got into Rossi's face. Aaron backed away from Rossi as fire was in his eyes.</p><p>Rossi turned, grabbing the bottle and launching the bottle of scotch towards Aaron. "Is this what you want to see, huh? To throw my life away like that?"</p><p>"Dave," Aaron said sternly. The man walking towards his bar and launched a bottle of tequila at the wall. Hotch ducked as it was only a few feet away from him. "Dave!"</p><p>"I don't need help, Aaron! I can take care of myself!" Rossi yelled and swiped his hand over the counter that had his bottles of liquor on it. Aaron shielded himself from the glass shattering. He reached over and grabbed Rossi before he could do anything else. Aaron practically tackled the man to the floor as he held him down in his arms.</p><p>Rossi tried to fight him off, but he gave up as tears filled his eyes. He cried into Hotch's arms as he held him down.</p><p>"David! It's me. It's me, Aaron. I got you. I've got you," Aaron said as Rossi cried his heart out. Both men had tears in their eyes. "I miss her too. I miss her too."</p><p>Rossi: "Angry people are not always wise." Jane Austen.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i want y'all to notice the double standard Hotch is having with JJ and Rossi because it ✨gets worse✨ and salem loves ✨symbolism✨</p><p>also we're meeting a surprise guest next chapter. have any ideas on who it is?👀</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. spencer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i wrote this on two hours of sleep and no motivation to write ahaha (if it's bad i blame my sleep deprivation) 🤪</p><p>anyways, five team members down, two more to go! these chapters are so draining to write because i'm just crying the entire way through lmao but it's almost over and then y'all can hate me part 2(?)🤓</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: drug abuse, hallucinations, mentions of gun violence, nods at self harm, acute clinical depression, mentions of alcohol <br/>word count: 4933</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spencer: "The attempt to escape from pain, is what creates more pain." Gabor Maté.</p><p>"Spencer," Emily said and coughed up blood. The stake in her stomach prevented her from getting up. Spencer froze as he walked into the room. "S-Spencer. Behind you."</p><p>Spencer was hit on the back of his head, sending him to the floor. He turned around as Doyle towered over him. A gun was staring right back at him. Doyle took off the safety before firing the weapon. The bullet went by his head and hit Emily. Spencer shouted as he made his way towards Emily. Spencer tried to stop the bleeding, but it was happening too quickly.</p><p>"Emily! Emily! I'm sorry. I'm sorry there's too much blood," Spencer said as he started to panic.</p><p>"Emily!" Spencer yelled as he woke up. He looked around the living room he was in. Spencer fell asleep in his living room sometime around noon. He wasn't getting much sleep. The nightmares still haunted him. It was always the same one. Spencer couldn't save Emily each time he had the nightmare. That's why Spencer was losing so much sleep. He didn't want to see Emily like that. Staying awake and sleep deprived was a better option. Well, not the only option.</p><p>He got up and rubbed his eyes. Spencer pushed the door to the bathroom open. He grabbed the vial from the bottom drawer and shut the door behind him. Spencer was alone in his apartment and slid himself down the door. His hands were shaking as he brought the small bottle into his view.</p><p>Dilaudid.</p><p>A drug he hasn't touched or craved in years.</p><p>Spencer shut his eyes as he tried to suppress the urge to inject himself with the drug. Tears fell from his eyes as he even considered it. No, no, you can't. But, think about what you'll see. You'll maybe see her not bleeding out anymore. The first time you took it, you relived happy memories with mom. It brought back memories from before with her. Why not now with Emily?</p><p>Reid ran his hands down his face as he tossed the possibilities back and forth. It was too much. This entire situation was too much. He just wanted a second of peace. He just needed a second to reminisce with Emily where she wasn't being shot or had a gun pointed at him. And if this was the price, so be it.</p><p>Spencer grabbed the tourniquet and wrapped it tightly around his arm. He grabbed himself a needle before sitting back and having one last contemplation go on in his head. Spencer shut everything out as he injected himself with the needle. His body was shaking as it wasn't used to the drug anymore. The man's vision slowly faded as he tilted his head back.</p><p>"Spencer."</p><p>Spencer turned and saw Emily walking right up to him. Tears filled his eyes as he practically ran to her. She was engulfed in a hug and chuckled. "I missed you."</p><p>"What's this about? I just went to visit Clara down in New Orleans for two days. I wasn't gone that long," Emily said and pulled back. She squinted her eyes as Spencer didn't let her go. "You should have told me you missed me this much. I could have brought you back something."</p><p>"No, all I needed was you. Morgan kept picking on me when you were gone. I'm just glad someone is here now to beat him up for me," Spencer said and chuckled.</p><p>"I'll go get him for you," Emily said and laughed as she and Spencer finally pulled away from each other. The woman rubbed her thumb over Spencer's shoulder before they headed off towards the bullpen. As they walked by Derek's desk. Emily flicked her finger against the man's head. </p><p>"Hey! Idiot," Derek mumbled as he rubbed his head. The other two agents laughing as Derek squinted his eyes over at them. </p><p>Spencer's eyes slowly opened as Emily's laughter rang out in his head. He was back in his bathroom, completely alone. Who knows how much time had passed.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Spencer grabbed his phone and looked down at the contact. Penelope. Spencer sighed as he sat up and answered the phone. "Boy genius, Hotch needs you down in the office. He said you haven't been answering your phone."</p><p>"Yeah, sorry, I—I was asleep. I haven't gotten much. Tell him I'll be on my way in a few minutes," Spencer said and rubbed his eyes as Penelope hung up the phone. He sighed as he stood up. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked rough. Spencer had deep dark bags under his eyes, skin paler than usual, and skinner than average since he wasn't eating much.</p><p>Spencer found himself at the BAU a little bit later. That was the curse of this drug. Everyone had practically written it off as a way Spencer was grieving. It was sad to see, but nobody spoke up about the apparent problems that were happening. Everyone was dealing with their own issues, let alone having to deal with someone else's. As bad as it was, every team member tried to have open ears when listening, but it didn't feel right with their mind only half listening to what the person was saying.</p><p>Spencer took pride in always deal with problems on his own. It was his downfall at times, much like right now. After his relapse, he made it his mission to stay clean again.</p><p>That lasted about two hours before he would get his craving again. It was far worse this time since Emily wasn't there to help him. Spencer found himself day after day back in his bathroom at his apartment, a tourniquet around his arm and a needle entering his body. His eyes slowly shut as the drug's effects took over.</p><p>"Spencer?" Emily called out. The man was scrambling in the bathroom to put everything away. But it was too late. Emily had walked in and saw the vial and needle in his hand. Emily's jaw dropped as she shut the door behind her. "Spencer what—"</p><p>"Just drop it, okay?" Spencer snapped and threw everything into his bag. Emily's eyes softened. He had already taken it. Spencer rubbed his eyes and tried to come back down to Earth. "Just act like you never saw anything. It'll be easier for the both of us."</p><p>"You know I can't do that, Spencer," Emily said and crossed her arms. The two just stared at each other.</p><p>"I'm not asking for your help. I don't even want it," Spencer mumbled as he threw his bag around his body, about to leave. Emily blocked the door.</p><p>"I know you don't want it. But you need it. Spencer, this can ruin your career if Hotch finds out. I'm not going to tell him, but you are blind if you think they haven't noticed something going on. I know you don't want my help. You don't even know me, so why would you trust me?" Emily asked and placed her hands on Spencer's arms. The man was flinching away from her touch. "But Spencer, you are not the first person I've had to run into who's had this problem. I saw what it did to him. And I don't want that for you. This isn't the path you want to down and I know it feels like you can never stop now that you've started. But with help and support, you don't have to feel so alone in a recovery. You don't have to take my help. But I can't stand here and watch this disease destroy you."</p><p>"Why do you want to help me? You've been here for two days. You barely even know me," Spencer said and kept his eyes to the floor. Emily ducked her head down and smiled softly.</p><p>"Because you're my team member. We stick together. This time is no different," Emily said as Spencer finally locked eyes with her. "This can be our little secret. I can help you overcome this under the radar. Nobody else has to know."</p><p>Spencer's eyes filled with tears. "Okay."</p><p>"Okay," Spencer repeated and opened his eyes. The light was harsh on his eyes. His heart was racing as he looked around the bathroom floor he was lying on again. His eyes filled with tears as he sat up. He hated that it was just a hallucination. He just wanted Emily back.</p><p>"You can do it. I know you can," Emily said as she sat criss-cross across from Spencer on the floor. She smiled slightly as she moved a little closer to him. Spencer was so careful not to touch her in case she would disappear through thin air. "Give me the vial, Spencer."</p><p>"But I won't be able to see you again. The only other way I'll see you is bleeding out and I don't want that anymore. I want to see you like you were before," Spencer said as he cried softly. "Please don't take that away from me."</p><p>"Spencer. You know another place you can visit me at. Nobody has gone yet to visit me. You'd be the first one," Emily said with a sad smile. Her hand was still out as Spencer gripped onto the vial. Her eyes were reading encouragement as he gently placed the vial down in front of him. "I think you know who you have to reach out to, Spencer. I know you want to take control of this situation and put the fire out yourself. But I can't see you drown anymore. Please."</p><p>Spencer looked down at his hands as he played with them nervously. "You're repeating yourself like the first time. The first time you said to me, 'the bravest thing you can do is ask for help.' Things haven't changed."</p><p>He glanced back up, and Emily was gone. The man sighed as he kept his head down. The bravest thing you can do is ask for help. It's what Emily would have wanted, and you know this. You have to do this for her.</p><p>Spence grabbed his phone and took a deep breath as he dialed the number.</p><p>"Hey, how are you? I'm good, thanks. Um, listen, I don't know if you're busy tomorrow, but I really need to talk to you. If that's okay," Spencer said and rubbed his eyes.</p><p>The following day Spencer found himself standing in front of the restaurant. He clutched his bag and gulped before walking inside. "Hi, can I get a table for two?"</p><p>"Sure thing. We only have outside seating. Is that alright?" the hostess asked and smiled softly at Spencer. He nodded his head before the two started to move. She leads him to a table and handed him two menus before leaving.</p><p>Reid placed down his bag and tried to suppress his anxious thoughts. He kept his head down towards the menu. The waiter came by not too long after. The man had ordered himself a sugary coffee and another plain black coffee. Once he got it, he didn't even touch it as he continued to keep his eyes down.</p><p>"Well, if it isn't Doctor Spencer Reid," the woman said from in front of Spencer. His eyes left the coffee in front of him and trailed up to her.</p><p>"Elle," Spencer said above a whisper. He stood up and engulfed the woman in a hug. She was taken back slightly at the gesture but ultimately wrapped herself around him. His face buried into her neck.</p><p>"I missed you," Elle said and smiled softly as the two pulled away. Spencer just took in the sight of her. It had been years since he'd last seen her.</p><p>"I've missed you too," Spencer said and smiled softly at her. The two sat down and were quiet, waiting for the other to talk first.</p><p>"So, how have you been?" they both asked at the same time. Both chuckled as they did. Spencer gestured for Elle to go first.</p><p>"I've been good. I found myself a job up in Seattle for a while. But I missed the East Coast and came back," Elle said and took in the sight of Spencer. The last time she saw him, he was shy, timid, kept to himself. But this Spencer was still nervous, but he was more confident in a way. Elle just couldn't describe it. "How about you?"</p><p>"I've been better," Spencer said and sighed as he locked eyes with Elle. "I called you because I need help. And—uh, nobody on the team really gets it. Well, I don't think they do. We're all kind of going through our own problems right now. But I just—I can't tell them. So I wanted someone who would listen. And when you were on the team, you did, you did listen to me."</p><p>The waiter came by and got the two's food orders. Hopefully, they could be kept alone for some time now.</p><p>"What's bugging you? I promise you, I'm still all ears," Elle said and leaned over the table as she stirred her plain black coffee. Spencer got a tissue out from his pocket. He already felt like crying. Elle noticed and furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"It was a month and four days that you were gone. I, uh, something happened to me. A man, his name was Tobias Hankle. We suspected he was involved in a string of home invasion murders. When JJ and I went to go get him, he ran, and we—we split up," Spencer said as flashes of memories filled his head. "He kidnapped me. And I was kept in a shed for days. He—he uh, he gave me a drug called Dilaudid. It makes you see memories or hallucinate. And um, he gave me a lot."</p><p>"You got addicted to it," Elle said just above a whisper. Spencer, whose eyes filled with tears, nodded and wiped them away.</p><p>"After they found me, I—I kept buying some from a dealer. It showed me flashbacks of my mom and me when I was a kid. And, I just, I don't know," Spencer said and kept his head down. In all actuality, he was embarrassed to be admitting this to Elle. "So, they found another agent to replace you after you left. Her name is Emily. Was, it was Emily. When she first got there, I was so mean to her. And I hated the fact that she looked at me like she understood what was happening. She looked at me like I was about to break every ten seconds. And I—I was mean to her."</p><p>"This was because you were high, right?" Elle asked and took a sip of her coffee. Spencer nodded. He sighed softly as Elle watched him try his hardest not to cry.</p><p>"She walked into the bathroom one day when I was thinking about getting high at work. And she told me that she knew what it was like. Her best friend back in Italy was addicted to heroin. And Emily offered to help me get clean. Nobody else on the team knew. It was our little secret," Spencer said and sighed heavily as he thought back to Emily three years ago. "I should have thanked her every day for doing that. I like to think she knew I was thanking her every day but, that doesn't mean I can't be mad at myself for not actually doing it."</p><p>"Why couldn't you tell the rest of the team about this?" Elle asked and reached over the table. Her hand gently on top of Spencer's as he balled his hand into a fist, his nails digging into his own hand. The soft touch of Elle's hand made him open his hand up and stop hurting himself.</p><p>"They're all dealing with Emily's death," Spencer said softly. Elle's eyes widened at the information. "She and Derek were best friends. He's at the gym twenty-four seven to train for when we find the man who killed her. Penelope doesn't want to talk about what happened. She focuses on the way we were before, like how Emily made her smile and happy. Rossi, he—he hasn't been sober one day since she died about four months ago. JJ practically wants to be alone. She's taken her death hard, especially since she and Emily were together at a time. She just got released from a psych ward that Hotch admitted her into forcefully, so she's overcompensating. And Hotch, he shut out the rest of us. He and Emily had just gotten engaged when she died."</p><p>"Spencer, I'm so sorry," Elle said softly. "She sounds like an amazing woman. I'm sure she loved you and the rest of the team very much."</p><p>"She, she died protecting us. That man wanted to come after all of us, and she didn't want that to happen. She didn't want him to find her son either. Emily ran and fought him as best as she could, to hold him off. But when we got there, she had a stake in her abdomen. I froze. I haven't froze on this job in four years since you were there. That was the first time. And I keep thinking to myself. If I didn't freeze and tried to help, maybe she would still be here," Spencer said as he buried his face into his free hand as he cried. He got together his composure. "Everyone has been dealing with it, pretty hard. That's not the kind of thing you forget."</p><p>"Spencer, I think you need to tell the team before you...before you relapse," Elle said and stroked her thumb over his hand. Spencer stayed quiet as she made the gesture. It reminded him of what Emily use to do when she would hug him. Emily would gently rub her thumb against his back as they hugged. Elle noticed the silence and ducked her head down to be eye level with him. "Reid?"</p><p>Spencer looked back at her sad eyes. It was too late.</p><p>The waiter came by once again. He placed Elle's eggs and a waffle down in front of her. And Spencer's scrambled eggs with bacon and pancakes in front of him. Elle practically ushered the waiter away to get back to her conversation with Spencer.</p><p>"Spencer," Elle said softly as the man looked down at the food in front of him. His eyes filled with tears.</p><p>"I just needed to see her again," Spencer said softly through his sobs. "I needed to see her again."</p><p>"There are other ways to see her, Spencer," Elle said and ducked her head down. "I know you didn't mean to. And I'm not blaming you for your relapse."</p><p>"You'd be the second person not to blame me," Spencer said and wiped his eyes with the tissue. "She's probably livid with me right now."</p><p>"Oh, Reid. No," Elle said softly. "I didn't know, Emily personally. But from the way you talk about her, I know she wouldn't be mad at you."</p><p>"But I threw it away. I threw away my three years of sobriety," Spencer said and finally looked up at Elle.</p><p>"She'd want you to start your sobriety again. But Spencer, she wouldn't blame you. You shouldn't blame yourself for this," Elle said softly.</p><p>"I talked to her when I saw her. She told me that the bravest thing for me to do was to ask for help. And she told me that I knew who to talk to. The only person I wanted to talk to was you. And she knew that," Spencer said and smiled slightly as tears ran down his face. "So—Elle. I need help. I need your help. Because I don't want to go back to how it was before. I don't want to be cruel and hateful. I don't want to push my family and friends away. I don't want to have a drug run my life. I don't want to be afraid of my mind again because right now, I'm terrified. Please, please, Elle. Please help me."</p><p>Elle moved her chair around to sit right next to him. She grabbed onto his hand and smiled encouragingly at Spencer. "You didn't even have to ask. I'm always here for you, Spencer."</p><p>The two finished up their breakfast over a lighter conversation. Elle was curious about Emily and what she was like. Spencer gladly told her stories of the two and their adventures at the BAU. Spencer had told Elle that Emily was like an older sister to him. She was constantly looking out after him and the other way around. Elle smiled at the stories. She could tell Spencer was proud to tell her about Emily. She would have loved to meet her.</p><p>"She must be one hell of a woman having to deal with Hotch and JJ," Elle said as she finished the last bit of her coffee. Spencer nodded enthusiastically.</p><p>The two left just as quickly. Elle had offered to take Spencer back to his apartment. He gladly accepted it instead of riding in a taxi. They found themselves in front of Spencer's door in no time.</p><p>"This is me," Spencer said and smiled softly as he opened the door. Elle's eyes widened. She had never been to Spencer's apartment when she was on the team, but if she had to describe Spencer Reid as an apartment, this would be it. Dark green walls were the only color in the apartment. Spencer's place was cluttered with books and an overall brown aesthetic. It suited him, or so Elle thought. "I'm sorry I didn't clean. I didn't realize you'd be coming over."</p><p>"Spencer, we practically lived together before. A little dust and clutter aren't going to kill me," Elle said jokingly. Spencer smiled slightly as she walked around his apartment. Elle saw a picture frame of Spencer, JJ, Hotch, Morgan, Penelope, and two people she didn't recognize. She grabbed it and looked at the brunette woman. "I'm going to go off of a limb here and say that this is Emily?"</p><p>Spencer walked up to the photograph and nodded. "We took it right after Rossi joined the team. We all had gotten closer with him around. But I think Emily was the glue that held us together."</p><p>"She looks nice," Elle said and looked up at Spencer as his eyes didn't leave the photograph. "Do you have any other pictures of her? Maybe you can frame them?"</p><p>"I don't think so. I know Hotch does, but I don't want to ask for one in case he doesn't want to give them out," Spencer said and pursed his lips. Elle nodded and placed down the picture. She walked into the man's bedroom when she saw the bathroom in the room. Specifically, the tourniquet that was on the floor. "That um, I can explain that—"</p><p>"Spencer. I'm not here to judge you. Everything stays between us. But, we do need to get rid of some things if you want to stay clean. With an alcoholic, you don't leave a bottle of tequila out. It's no different here," Elle said and placed her hand on the man's arm. "You have to tell me where everything is, Reid."</p><p>Spencer sighed and nodded. He opened the bottom drawer of his bathroom vanity. Inside there were a bunch of needles and three vials of Dilaudid. Elle had grabbed a plastic bag from a pile of junk Spencer had lying around in his room. She piled everything in it and sealed the bag. Spencer felt a huge weight being lifted from his shoulders. But this was just part two of his cleansing.</p><p>"I think you should sign up for those meetings," Elle said and sat down on the man's bed. Spencer sighed as he slid down the wall across from her to sit on the floor. "I can be in there with you if you need me. Or I can wait outside in the car with some red jello or donuts. I know you love them."</p><p>"I'd have to find the time. It's difficult with wor—"</p><p>"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there. Reid, you need to take care of yourself. Putting your work before your mental health isn't good," Elle said and rested her elbows on her legs as she looked over at the man.</p><p>"Everyone else does it," Spencer said softly as he played with his hands right in front of him. Elle sighed. Doctors don't like to go to the doctor because they know what it's like. Profilers hate seeking help for the same reason.</p><p>"Reid," Elle said and made her way to the floor to be next to him. Spencer's eyes filled with tears. It was too much. It was overwhelming. "Spencer?"</p><p>"I'm trying," Spencer said just above a whisper. Elle's eyes softened as she got closer to him. He finally broke and practically collapsed into the woman's arms. Elle held onto him as he cried. She hated seeing him like this.</p><p>"I know you're trying, and that's all that matters," Elle said and rubbed the man's back.</p><p>"She has a point," Emily said as she crouched down in front of them. Spencer's sobs only progressed seeing Emily there. "Let her help you, Spencer."</p><p>"Please go with me," Spencer whispered to Elle. She nodded and held onto the man tighter. "Please."</p><p>"I'll go. I got you. I've got you," Elle said and placed her hand gently on the back of his head. The two sat there was Spencer finally dared to say everything he had been feeling to Elle. The woman just sat and held him as she listened. She didn't interrupt, or get mad at him, or do anything except listen to him.</p><p>With Elle's help, he managed to go two days sober. They say a day feels like an eternity for an addict trying to get clean. Double it. Spencer was going through hell to fight his urges. But he did it. He managed it for two days. Of course, he was drinking ten times his average coffee amount and found himself eating full-course meals for the first time in a long time to occupy his mind. But still, two days was a milestone for Spencer.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Spencer ran to his door and opened it. Elle stood there, two coffees in her hands and a bag of pastries in between her arm and body. "Hey."</p><p>"Hey. Uh, sorry, I was just getting ready. Let me grab my bag, and we can go," Spencer said and smiled as he ran to his room and grabbed his bag. Elle waited patiently by the door before the two left.</p><p>Both of them found their way to the cemetery. Now with Spencer's milestone of two days. He wanted to celebrate. The two made their way to Emily's headstone. It was right under an enormous tree in the cemetery, so it was easy to find.</p><p>Elle stood a little bit away from the grave as Spencer placed the flowers the two of them had bought into the vase in front of her headstone.</p><p>"Hey, Emily," Spencer said softly as he knelt down right in front of the woman. "I know you've been watching over me for some time now. And you know I've been going through a pretty bad thing. But I—I made it. It's only been two days, but I made it. There were a lot of times where I didn't think I'd stay sober through the night. But, you're helping me, even from heaven or wherever you are. You're helping me. And you were right. It was pretty brave of me to ask for help. But I'm glad you persuaded me to. There's someone I want you to meet."</p><p>Spencer looked back towards Elle. The woman smiled as she made her way to the grave. She knelt down right next to Spencer and smiled towards the headstone.</p><p>"It is lovely to meet you, Emily. I'm sorry it has to be like this," Elle said and gently placed her hand on the headstone. "I'll watch over him now. You rest. You need it."</p><p>"And we brought you something," Spencer said as Elle opened the bag. She placed a croissant, Emily's favorite, down in front of her grave. The two stayed there for a little bit longer before leaving. Spencer and Elle saying their goodbyes to the tombstone.</p><p>"Spencer!" Emily yelled as she leaned against her headstone. Spencer turned back and tilted his head. "I couldn't be more proud of you!"</p><p>Elle turned back to see Spencer staring right at the grave. Nobody was there.</p><p>Spencer smiled as his eyes filled with tears. He nodded his head before turning back around and making his way towards Elle.</p><p>Spencer: "I am a working process." Violet Yates.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if y'all follow me on tiktok, y'all know i'm a spencelle WARRIOR ILL GO DOWN SWINGING FOR THEM so i had to introduce her, i had to🧍♀️</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. derek</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i’m sorry for the midday update! It’s mother’s day and i’ve been cooking for my mom all day but i managed to squeeze out an update that i’m semi proud of🥳</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: physical trauma, hallucinations, swearing, angst, mentions of violence, nods of self harm<br/>word count: 5114</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Derek: "Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you." Veronica Roth.</p><p>"Derek! Go! I got this!" JJ yelled as she held the other unsub at gunpoint.</p><p>Derek didn't hesitate to take off running to chase after the unsub. He followed behind her and was closing the distance. The woman turned down an alleyway. Derek was close behind her. Just as he was about to aim his gun, the woman body-slammed Derek into a dumpster. Derek's gun fell as her arm pressed right against Derek's throat. He tried to fight back when he took a good look at the woman.</p><p>Dark black hair, white porcelain skin. Slowly the woman turned into Emily.</p><p>"Emily," Derek said softly and tried to get the woman off of his throat. She only pressed down tighter. Derek's vision was getting fuzzy as she smiled cynically at him. "E-Emily."</p><p>Then suddenly, there were three gunshots fired. The woman was falling right to the floor. Derek got up, gasping for air as he turned to see who shot her.</p><p>Spencer stood there with a slight smile on his face. He holstered his gun as he walked up to Morgan.</p><p>"You okay?" he asked as Derek hunched over and felt sick to his stomach. He tried to shake the vision of Emily from his mind. Emily wouldn't have hurt him. "Derek?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine," Derek said and cleared his throat.</p><p>"What happened?" Spencer asked as Morgan stood up and took a deep breath in and then out.</p><p>"Nothing. She just got me good," Derek said and didn't say anything else as he walked off.</p><p>"What happened?" Hotch asked as he walked up to Derek and Spencer. Morgan practically blew him off as he tried to shake the image of Emily attacking him from his head. "Morgan."</p><p>"Can you give me a minute?" Derek yelled back. Aaron raised his eyebrows as the two men were staring down the other. "Damn woman had me in a chokehold, and I'm still recovering. So I'm sorry if I don't want to play one million questions right now."</p><p>"Excuse me?" Hotch asked again as the two men took a step towards the other. Spencer's eyes were flicking back and forth between the two. Derek clenched his jaw as he kept his eyes down to the floor. "Take a walk. Now."</p><p>Derek held his tongue as he walked off, taking off his vest. JJ and Rossi passed him, glancing between the two men. Morgan threw his vest into the SUV before walking down the street. His feet continuing to move as his mind went a million miles an hour.</p><p>Ring. Ring. Ring.</p><p>Derek sighed as he finally stopped and grabbed his phone. "Morgan."</p><p>"Hey. JJ told me to call you. Is everything okay?" Penelope asked as she twirled her pen in her hand. Derek scoffed as he hung his head down. "What's going on?"</p><p>"What's going on?" Derek asked as he chuckled. "Hotch is having some sort of power trip. I got knocked down by our unsub, and instead of giving me a few seconds to comprehend what just happened. He fucking wants to ask a million questions."</p><p>"Okay," Penelope said and put her hands up as though Derek could see her. "So what happened? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. But you can't keep this in."</p><p>"The whole reason I couldn't hurt that unsub was because she looked like Emily. I could have stopped her. I could have fought back. I could have easily overpowered her and knocked her down. But I didn't want to hurt Emily. I tried, Penelope. I really did want to get her to stop. But I just didn't have it in me," Derek said as he shut his eyes. "I can't get her out of my head."</p><p>"Derek," Penelope said softly. "It's okay to picture her. I see her sometimes too."</p><p>"What I don't like is how Hotch is acting. The supposed love of his life died right in front of him, and he isn't even batting an eye," Derek said and glanced towards the group of agents who were all talking to local PD about what had happened.</p><p>"You know Hotch, he's internalizing it. One day he'll snap and break down and cry, and all of us will be there for him," Penelope said and shrugged her shoulders. "We all have the right to break down, Derek. Emily was a big part of all of our lives. He should understand that."</p><p>"He sent away JJ," Derek said and clenched his jaw. "I just don't feel comfortable knowing I could be next on the public escort out of the FBI. The media almost had a frenzy when they heard about JJ being taken out but Strauss handled it. It won't be good if there's two of us making that headline."</p><p>"You're right," Penelope said simply. "Hey, why don't you and I go out for drinks or dinner after you guys get back? It wouldn't hurt to be distracted for a little while, honey buns."</p><p>"I just might take you up on that offer," Derek said and smiled slightly as he started to walk back towards the group. "I gotta go. Bye, gorgeous. Love you."</p><p>"Love you more. Remember, deep breaths. You and I will be reconnected soon so I can distract your troubled mind," Penelope said and smiled softly. The two didn't say anything else as they hung up the phone. Derek was silent the entire car ride back. He decided to go with JJ and Spencer to avoid the awkward tension between him and Hotch.</p><p>Meanwhile, in the jet, Derek grabbed his headphones. He pressed shuffle on his playlist and listened to the random song as background noise. He pulled out all the folders from his bag. Staring back at him was Doyle's mug shot. Derek's jaw locked as he looked at him. He wanted to give the exact beating Emily got to him. He wanted Ian to be killed and suffer the exact same way Emily did. Derek hated this man. He hated him with everything in him.</p><p>As much as Derek hated him, he needed to be able to sympathize with him to get into his head. Where would he go from here? Certainly not a big city to avoid detection. But knowing Doyle and being the cocky asshole he is, he'd stay in a big city but hang low. He wouldn't risk going far. And he certainly wouldn't go with a lot of crime.</p><p>Now it was the hard part. He was trying to get into Declan's head and his guardians. Emily was out of the equation since she would have no knowledge or possible connection to where Declan was. Trying to get into someone's head which you don't even know, was difficult work.</p><p>A coffee mug was placed down in front of him. He looked up towards the ring on her finger and was met with JJ. She smiled softly as she slid herself into the chair in front of him. He took off his headphones. "Thank you."</p><p>"Of course," JJ said and kicked her feet up into the chair. She practically curled herself into a ball. Her eyes caught the folder in front of Derek. "Anything?"</p><p>"Considering I don't even know Declan's guardians or even Declan, no," Derek said sadly. "I just wish we could find him. At least we'd be able to have a piece of her with us."</p><p>"That's the thing about Declan. He will always have a target on his back. No matter if Doyle is dead or not. Ian managed to piss off a lot of people, so you'd be surprised at how far people will go to make sure your bloodline never sees the light of day again," JJ said and scoffed. "I can call in reinforcements. Clara knew Emily for a good chunk of her life. Maybe there was someplace she mentioned to Clara that she didn't tell us about. Because I want to find that son of a bitch just as badly as you do."</p><p>Derek's eyes flicked over to Hotch, who was on the phone, glancing at Derek and JJ. Morgan leaned over close and sighed. Derek kept his eyes on JJ's ring. JJ noticed and glanced down at the ring.</p><p>"I never got to give you a wedding gift," Derek said and smiled slightly. "I'm surprised you didn't tell any of us."</p><p>"I didn't want to overthink it. The last time I overthought something, it—" JJ said and stopped herself. Derek furrowed his eyebrows. JJ gulped as she glanced towards Hotch, who wasn't paying attention to them. "It cost me, Emily. She said she was happy to see me happy. I saw her when Will proposed to me. And she encouraged me to say yes. So I didn't overthink it."</p><p>"Well, I still owe you one," Derek said and patted JJ's hand. The blonde woman smiled softly at him as she pulled her sweater moreover herself.</p><p>"You help me find him. That's all I want," JJ said and nodded her head slightly. "And one other thing."</p><p>Derek raised his eyebrows as the woman smiled widely at him. Her fingernails were tapping against the mug in her hands.</p><p>"Come on, JJ!" Derek yelled as the both of them panting for air. JJ held her gloves up as they both circled each other in the ring.</p><p>"You'll regret that," JJ said and swung at Derek. She hit him straight on the cheek. He fell down to the ground as JJ circled him. A proud smirk was on her face. "Come on, Morgan. Get up!"</p><p>Derek got to his feet as he and JJ both circled each other. He was waiting for the other to make a move. Derek swung first and was about to hit JJ as she blocked it. The woman kneed him in the stomach before landing one hit. Morgan shook off the hit and ducked his head down. He managed to get a hit on JJ. The blonde woman scrambling back but still on her feet.</p><p>"Jareau! Morgan! I thought I told you two to get the hell home!" Michael yelled and walked out of the office area. JJ and Morgan both looked at each other than at Michael. "Go home."</p><p>"Alright. Alright," JJ said and took off her gloves. She took out her mouthpiece as well. Derek followed JJ's lead.</p><p>"Jesus, y'all are going to kill each other if this keeps up. Don't the both of you sleep? This is the fifth day in a row that you're here twice in a day," Michael said and placed his hands on his hips. Both Derek and JJ shook their heads. Michael sighed as he looked at the two. "Get out of here and go get some sleep. Please."</p><p>"We're going," JJ said and held her hands up. Derek chuckled as Michael squinted his eyes at her. The blonde woman smiled at him before walking towards the locker rooms.</p><p>"I see you got your ass beat," Michael said and chuckled as Derek got out of the ring.</p><p>"Lesson learned. Never underestimate the Pennsylvania petite," Derek said and rubbed his sore stomach from JJ's knee earlier. Michael chuckled and patted Derek on the back.</p><p>Derek and JJ both left the gym together. She and Morgan had fallen into a routine where every morning at five, they'd both get up, get ready, and head to the gym by six. They'd be the first one there and wouldn't leave until eight o'clock. If they had time afterward, they'd make sure to bring their gym bags and go to the gym from six to eight pm every night they could.</p><p>Both were the best fighters on the team. And both of them needed their stamina for when they found Doyle. That was the primary motivation between JJ and Morgan. It was justice for Emily.</p><p>Morgan sighed as he laid down on the living floor of his apartment. He tried to ground himself and mentally push all the negative thoughts out.</p><p>"It's not going to work," Emily said as she sat upon his kitchen counter. Her legs were swinging back and forth. "I'm thinking breakfast instead."</p><p>"We talked about this, Em," Derek said and clenched his jaw as he shut his eyes. Emily chuckled.</p><p>"We agreed only when you're fighting and driving. Nothing about in the middle of your meditation thing," Emily said and gestured to the man lying down on the floor.</p><p>"And how did that work out? You gave me these," Derek said and gestured to the bruise across his neck.</p><p>"Mmm, technically I didn't," Emily said and tilted her head. Derek rolled his eyes as he sat up. When Derek looked back over to Emily, she was gone. He sighed. Sometimes it had felt like Emily was actually there with him. He missed her more than anything.</p><p>He glanced down at his watch. It was Sunday. They had the day off today, so why spend it here alone?Derek got up, got into a new change of clothes, grabbed his gym bag, and was out the door. He showed back up at the gym. He was about to head to the punching bags when Michael saw him.</p><p>"Derek! I thought you and Jareau to go home and please, stay home," Michael said and walked up to Derek. "You're going to kill yourself at this rate, Morgan."</p><p>"I just don't want to be alone, Mike," Derek said and sighed heavily. Michael raised his eyebrows before leading Derek towards the back office area. Derek pursed his lips as Michael gestured for him to have a seat.</p><p>"You gotta tell me what's going on. I won't let you train here twenty-four seven without it," Michael said and sat down on the edge of the desk. Derek clenched his jaw and sat up.</p><p>"I've been having these hallucinations of my partner. And the only time she doesn't appear is when I'm here in the gym. I can't focus on her if I'm having someone swing at me. And when I'm alone, it feels like she's right there next to me. And then I have to act like nothing is wrong when I step out that door to my job," Derek said and sighed softly. "I need to be distracted, Mike."</p><p>"You need help, Derek," Michael said and crossed his arms.</p><p>"No. The last time someone said that, JJ got sent away. I'm not going to some nut house so they can tell me my partner doesn't exist as they did with JJ," Derek said and clenched his jaw. Tears started to build in his eyes out of both anger and sadness. "I'm trying to keep it together. Someone on this team has to be strong. I got one team member who's been drinking his heart out. Another one that puts up walls when he's sad. One that's been trying to deny everything that's happened for the last five months. JJ is barely starting to trust anyone again. And my boss, who was engaged to her, is acting like nothing is happening."</p><p>"Derek, you can't hold yourself responsible for the rest of your team," Michael said and ducked his head down to meet Derek's eye.</p><p>"She squeezed my hand, Mike!" Derek snapped and wiped his tears away. He took a deep breath. "I was the one who found her. She—She squeezed my hand before she went into the medics came. Emily did that like she knew it would be the last time I would see her again alive. It's like she was telling me to stay strong."</p><p>"Again, Derek, you don't have to be strong for everyone. The toughest of men can cry it out from time to time. And there's no judgment here about that," Michael said and pursed his lips.</p><p>"I already did. Now all I feel is anger," Derek said as his leg started to bounce up and down. "The son of a bitch who killed her got away. Now all I can think about is taking that smug face of his and beating it to the ground. He took my friend away from me. He doesn't deserve to live, not after what he did. She was my best friend. I saw her die right in front of me. She deserves to rest."</p><p>Derek balled his hands into fists as anger took over him, his lip trembling as Emily crouched down right in front of him. A soft smile of encouragement was on her lips. The man losing it and sobbed. Michael placed his hand right on the man's shoulder and brought him in. Emily got up and settled herself against the wall. Derek locked eyes with her as Michael brought him into a hug. Emily smiled as she watched them.</p><p>"Let's go into the ring. Let's go train, so that way when you find that son of a bitch, the only way he's leaving is through a body bag," Michael said and patted Derek's back. "And by all means, I'll help."</p><p>Derek chuckled as he and Michael pulled away from each other. The two men were heading into the ring. Morgan's body was getting stronger each passing minute. That was all he had to do.It had been days of Derek's three visits to the gym. It was starting to concern the rest of the team as he would come in sore and tired before going into the field. Penelope was convinced that Derek didn't sleep at all. The three cups of coffee a day also didn't help the man with his messed-up sleep schedule.</p><p>"You can't keep this up forever," Emily said and kicked her feet up on the man's desk. Derek rolled his eyes as she put her hand up in surrender. He was trying to focus on files that he needed to get done. It was seven o'clock in the morning, and Derek had been up for hours. "You know what you should do? Get a matching tattoo with me. Something to piss of Strauss. What if you got 'Prentiss' across your forehead."</p><p>"Yeah, right," Derek said and chuckled. Emily shrugged her shoulders. The doors of the bullpen opened. Derek turned back and was met with a grey suit and a puzzled look.</p><p>"What are you doing here? It's early," Hotch said as he walked up towards Morgan's desk.</p><p>"I needed to get these files done. Might as well get here early instead of staying in late so I can head to the gym again," Derek said and turned his attention down to the file in front of him. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows as he did.</p><p>"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Aaron asked as he headed towards his office. Morgan sighed as he threw his pen down and followed after him. The two men walked into the office. Derek wished he was anywhere else in the world at the moment. "Go home."</p><p>Derek furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned against the chair in Hotch's office. "What?"</p><p>"You heard me. I said to go home. I know you're not getting any sleep. Penelope and the rest of the team have never seen you this exhausted. Go home. Get some sleep, at least nine hours, and then you can come back," Hotch said and sat down at his desk, already pulling files that needed to be worked on.</p><p>"Hotch, I'm perfectly capable of going to the gym and then coming to work," Derek said and crossed his arms. Aaron glanced up at him.</p><p>"Three times a day at the gym?" he asked as he twirled his pen around in his hand. "Go home, Morgan. That's not a request."</p><p>"But Hotch—"</p><p>"I need to make sure that your sleep deprivation isn't costing us anything in the field or here in the office. I won't risk mistakes because you'd rather be at the gym punching a bag than letting your body relax," Aaron said, already losing his temper as Derek fought him back.</p><p>"The last time I let my body relax, a woman almost killed me: a woman who looked just your fiancé, my best friend. I don't need to relax my body. That almost cost me my life," Derek said through his teeth. "And from where I'm standing, it seems like I'm the only one who gives a damn about finding Doyle. Even if that costs me my sleep and my sanity."</p><p>"Not all of us have that luxury of being able to pour all of our focus onto one thing. Now I suggest you get out of the office before you say something you'll regret," Aaron said and turned his attention towards the file in front of him. Derek scoffed before leaving the man's office. He grabbed his bag and jacket as he walked out of the bullpen. Hotch's eyes following him as he left.</p><p>As expected, when Derek got home, he immediately wanted to leave. Emily was waiting for him as he got there, legs crossed as she sat on the couch.</p><p>"I'm sorry I put you in the dog house," Emily said and scrunched up her face as Derek dropped his bags. Derek just shook his head as he walked towards his kitchen. Derek opened his fridge and grabbed the bag of peas he had in his freezer. He placed it right on his stomach. Since he got his ass kicked at the gym last night, his body was still recovering. Of course, Derek never wanted to admit how much pain he was in.</p><p>"You know I love you, princess, but I think he's right. I do need some sleep eventually," Derek said as he sat down next to Emily on the couch. Emily sighed as she shifted to the end of the sofa.</p><p>"I think he's right too," Emily said and patted the pillow next to her on the couch. Derek laid down on his back as his body was finally relaxing. His eyes shut as sleep slowly took over his body.</p><p>"Go, Derek!" JJ yelled. The raven-haired woman took off running. Morgan's dream came in flashes. One second he was running. Next, he was being pinned to a dumpster.</p><p>Derek's throat started to tighten as the woman dug her arm into his neck. Emily stood right there in front of him, a smile of pure pleasure on her face as Derek choked.</p><p>"You must have forgotten that I always win," Emily hissed as Derek's body slowly started to surrender to Emily.</p><p>The man woke up and grabbed at his neck. He was panting as he woke up. He hated nightmares. Emily wouldn't do that to him. Emily wouldn't say that.He glanced over at his clock and sighed. Two hours. That's all he got to sleep. He was never going to go back at this rate.</p><p>Derek grabbed his phone and saw he had a text message. It was from JJ.</p><p>JJ: we gotta case. It's local. Hopefully, mike didn't knock you out.</p><p>That message was sent only five minutes ago. Derek got up and grabbed his bag and jacket before running out of his apartment. He ran into the bullpen, already ready to go. Hotch raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"I thought I told you to stay home," Hotch said and crossed his arms. Derek set his bag down and sat down in his desk chair.</p><p>"You and I both know I'm much more help here than asleep," Derek said and gestured to his eyes that were wide open. "I'll be fine."</p><p>The team was silent at the tension between the two men. Hotch didn't say another word as the team all caught up Morgan. A man going around killing prostitutes in the DC area wasn't exactly unusual. The only thing that made the local PD raise eyebrows was the fact that both their ears were missing.</p><p>JJ and Morgan split up to head out and talk to some prostitutes. Spencer and Rossi went to the medical examiner. And Hotch stayed behind, coordinating with local PD back in Quantico with Penelope.</p><p>"How is it nobody sees a guy right in the middle of dumping a body midday? It always surprises me," JJ said as she and Derek finished talking to some women on the street.</p><p>"Not everyone thinks like you and me. They aren’t on the look out twenty four seven," Derek said as he slid into the car. His face scrunched up in pain. JJ furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, just sore," Derek said and ran his hand up to his neck. He grew in the habit of subconsciously scratching at it. JJ noticed. Derek glanced over at JJ and rolled his eyes. "What? Are you going to give me the same talk Hotch did?"</p><p>"I just think sleep is good," JJ said and put on her seatbelt. Derek clenched his jaw.</p><p>"Thank you, by the way," Derek said and put on his seatbelt. JJ tilted her head. "I know you probably went behind Hotch's back to send me that text."</p><p>"You had my back when he was out of line with me. I'll have you back too," JJ said and patted the man's arm. Derek smiled softly. "But I do think he's right. Sleep is important, even if it's four hours. And if you ever need anything, you know where to find me."</p><p>Derek and JJ both smiled at each other before taking off and heading back to Quantico. They both walked in and were caught up with what was happening. As they were being debriefed, a certain raven-haired woman came into Derek's vision.</p><p>"Derek, doesn't your body hurt? Mine doesn't, well not anymore," Emily said and twirled a pen in her hands as she sat on his desk. "Hey, I think when all this is over, we get pizza for dinner. I think we buy from Wiseguy Pizza. Maybe a margarita pizza. Oh! Or the Godfather. I know it's your favorite. What do you say, Derek?"</p><p>"Derek?"</p><p>A hand waved in front of his face, snapping him out of his hallucination. JJ and Penelope both stood in front of him with furrowed eyebrows. He looked between them, and Emily was gone.</p><p>"Sorry, yeah, okay," Derek said and nodded his head. Penelope placed her hand on Derek's arm.</p><p>"You didn't hear a word I said, did you?" Penelope asked as her eyes read sadness. She knew Derek was struggling. But Derek being Derek, refused to ask for help.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Derek said and placed his hand on Penelope's cheek. He wrapped his arms around the two of them and just took in the touch of both women. He had gotten into the habit of trying to be more affectionate towards everyone on the team. Keyword: trying. But it was the best he could do. Derek never even remembered the last time he hugged Emily or encouraged her before she died. He wasn't going to let that happen again.</p><p>"We got him. He's down by the capitol," Hotch said as he, Rossi, and Reid ran down from the conference room. JJ and Morgan both following after them. Penelope waving to them as the elevator doors shut. "When we get there, we have to stick together. The tip said he had a gun with him this time. Let's handle this delicately."</p><p>The team and capitol police all split up when they got to the last location of the man. Derek and Hotch ran North, JJ, and Reid to the East, Rossi and two officers to the West, and the remaining officers to the South.</p><p>Derek kept his eyes open as he searched around the area. His eyes catching a man drag a woman into an alleyway. Derek took off, running towards him.</p><p>"Morgan!" Hotch yelled as Derek took off. Hotch following after him.Derek rounded the corner and managed to grab the unsub before he could hurt the woman in any way. He threw him to the ground as he pulled out his handcuffs—the man trying to fight him off. By the time Hotch got there, Derek already pulled the man to his feet. He didn't even get to say anything to him as he dragged the unsub to the police officers.</p><p>Needless to say, it was an awkward car ride home to Quantico. The team all walked into the bullpen where Penelope was. Derek took three steps towards his desk before Hotch called out for him. "What was that?"</p><p>"What was what?" Derek asked and turned around to face Hotch.</p><p>"I gave a specific order to handle this delicately. You running and tackling him wasn't that. He had a gun, Morgan. He could have killed you," Aaron said and tried his best to keep his anger compressed.</p><p>"Hotch. I'm right here. Nothing happened to me. I'm okay," Derek said and put his hands up.</p><p>"No, you're not okay. You divided this team. You're all defying direct orders I set in. You knew about a case that I didn't want you working on for this exact reason," Aaron said and crossed his arms. "I get it. You're upset over Emily still. We all are. But that doesn't mean all the rules from before magically disappeared."</p><p>Derek stood up tall against Hotch. "First off, I didn't divide this team. You did. The second you sent away JJ, you divided this team. So, do me a favor and step off your high horse and come back down to Earth. It's what your fiancé would have wanted. Secondly, you're damn right. I'm still angry. Because instead of us working day and night to find him, you're ordering to go home and sleep. This isn't the first time I came to work with less than three hours of sleep in my system. So why does it matter now?"</p><p>Derek didn't say another word as he pushed past Hotch, grabbing his bag, and walked out of the doors of the bullpen. The rest of the team all silent as Hotch looked around at them. Each one grabbed their bags before following out Derek.</p><p>Derek: "Enlightenment is ego's ultimate disappointment." Chögyam Trungpa.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>only penelope is left and then after it get ✨spicy✨ my finals are almost over and then we can bulldoze through the rest of the book before i start my summer semester </p><p>i’ll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. penelope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm living on the edge with my grades slowly coming in to see if i have a 4.0 this semester, fingers crossed bestie😩</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: minimal swearing, hallucinations, mentions of alcohol, mentions of death<br/>word count: 4675</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Penelope: "I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day." Mitch Albom. </p><p>"Okay! Breakfast burrito of egg, cheese, and bacon just for you," Penelope said and walked into her lair with a brown bag in her hand. She set down the burrito in front of the empty chair and smiled as she grabbed hers. "You didn't eat all day yesterday, Em. It's not good to skip meals. Well, I can because I work but you no. You need to take care of yourself. So eat up."</p><p>Garcia took a bite of her burrito as she turned her attention back to the screen in front of her. She was doing her regular morning routine of checking for Doyle's alias to be used.</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>Penelope looked over at the empty chair next to her. "I'm sorry. And I'm a little mad at you. This would be a lot easier if you just opened up to us about him. We would have held him and protected him more than anything."</p><p>Penelope sighed as she grabbed her burrito. This was her life now. She was spending double the money on food for Emily. It was starting to concern everyone else on the team as well. But if it made Penelope feel closer to Emily, they opted not to say a word about it.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Come in!" Penelope yelled and continued typing away at her computer. JJ walked in two coffees in her hands. She handed one to Penelope before sitting herself down on the chair next to her.</p><p>"Good morning, Pen," JJ said and crossed her legs as she sat down. Penelope didn't say much. She just smiled as JJ ran her hand over the woman's arm. That's when JJ noticed the extra burrito right next to her.</p><p>"I know, you don't have to say anything," Penelope said and took off the paper from her straw. She sipped on the cold brew JJ generously got her.</p><p>"Oh, I shouldn't even be talking. At this point, all the workers at Em's favorite coffee shop know me by name," JJ said and shook her head. "They already have my order started by the time I walk into the shop."</p><p>Penelope and JJ both chuckled as they looked down towards their coffees. "How did the interview go? Was Hotch tough on you?"</p><p>"Well, he asked me how I was feeling. As if much has changed since the last interview one month after her death. I had to be careful with what I said. But for the most part, I was honest with him," JJ said and sat back in her chair. "When do you go in?"</p><p>"Today, later at night," Penelope said and pursed her lips. "I'm thankful for that. Everyone will be gone, so they don't have to see me with runny mascara and puffy red eyes."</p><p>The two fell into silence. The presence of Emily was haunting the two of them. It was almost as though she was sitting right there in the room with them. Needless to say, both of them didn't want to believe that Emily had died. They were bargaining and pleading with the higher beings to bring her back. But they both knew that that would be a miracle if she came back.</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>"Garcia!" Hotch yelled from the other side. JJ sighed as she got up. That was her sign to leave. She didn't even want to be in the same room as Hotch anymore. She feared that she would snap and hit him or do something that would definitely get her arrested or fired. Penelope handed her the extra burrito before she left. As Aaron walked in, JJ walked out. Neither of them saying a word to the other. "Anything?"</p><p>"No, I checked. He's been radio silent for the past one hundred eighty-two days," Penelope said and tapped her fingers against the desk. "But who's keeping track?"</p><p>"I'll let you know if I can think of anything," Aaron said and turned around to walk out.</p><p>"Sir?" Penelope asked and started to play with her hands nervously. "Don't you think this process will be easier if the rest of the team is helping as well?"</p><p>He turned back around and bit the inside of his cheek. "Right now, none of them want anything to do with me. I'm letting it settle before we can all work together again."</p><p>"What if I told you they were willing to work on it? Can I bring them in whenever we're not busy on another case?" Penelope asked as the two of them locked eyes. "We all want to find him, to let Emily rest. And to, maybe meet Declan when this is over, so we can at least have that part of Emily left."</p><p>"Okay. But only one thing," Aaron said and rubbed his fingers together. "Please don't let the others go crazy trying to find him. Men like him never want to be found. They can find devoted followers who do their own dirty work for them. As much as I want this case to be a priority, the director disagrees. So keep that in mind as well."</p><p>"Of course," Penelope said softly and nodded her head. The two didn't say anything else as Hotch left the woman's office. Penelope didn't like this one bit. The team was divided more than ever. It felt like everyone was dancing around the other. If she could, she'd march each one in here and get them all to lock themselves in a room together, fight out the difference and hug it all out. Families fight, yes, but not like this.</p><p>Garcia had a personal bias, as much as she tried to be the middle ground. She blamed Hotch for the explosive behavior and the reason the group unraveled more so than before. Penelope just couldn't put her finger on why JJ? Out of the people on the team, why JJ? Garcia had been vocal during the last team evaluation that she was having hallucinations of Emily, but she was sent to work the next day like she wasn't struggling mentally. It broke her heart, but the world doesn't wait for anyone, sadly.</p><p>"You know, you could start reading. I normally did that when I wanted to escape this hell hole of the world," Emily said and sat down in the empty chair next to Penelope. "Not exactly the most positive way to put it, I know but, what are you going to do? It's the truth."</p><p>"If I do, will you be able to come back?" Penelope said and smiled softly at the woman.</p><p>"Sorry, sugar," Emily said, mimicking Penelope's sweet voice. "You're going to have to forget that end of the deal."</p><p>"I don't like this deal," Penelope sighed. "You only come around whenever you feel like it. Not when I need you. And you didn't even eat your burrito."</p><p>"Mmm, wasn't hungry," Emily said and sat back in her chair. "But thank you for keeping me in the back of your head, Penny."</p><p>"Did you visit that cute little boy of yours?" Penelope asked and sipped on her coffee. Emily sighed softly as she shook her head no.</p><p>"I still don't know where he is," Emily said and pursed her lips. "But believe me, the second I find him, I'll come to visit you and let you know, okay?"</p><p>"Does he like comics? What's he like, Em?" Penelope asked and twirled the pen in her hand. Emily smiled and thought back to Declan.</p><p>"I wish I could tell you," Emily said softly. "You have to remember, Penny. I'm all in your head. I only know what you know. And I, believe me, I would want nothing more than for Declan to meet his Aunt and Uncles here. I just know you and the rest of the team would spoil the shit out of him on Christmas. That's all I wanted."</p><p>"I'll find him. I promise," Penelope said and placed her hand down in front of Emily. The woman wanted nothing more than for her to touch her hand and hold her back. Tears filled Penelope's eyes as Emily knew exactly what she wanted. Not a second went by that she didn't dream about Emily's loving arms wrapping around her protectively again. "I love you so much. I don't remember the last time I said that to you."</p><p>"I love you too," Emily said and smiled as tears threatened to leave her eyes. Penelope, without thinking, placed her hand on Emily's arm. The woman was slowly disappearing like a shadow. "Emily? Emily!"</p><p>Penelope was utterly alone in her lair once again. Her heart sank as she tried to look around the room to see if Emily was hiding anywhere.</p><p>"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Please come back," Penelope said as tears fell from her eyes. "Em, please come back. Just—just for five more minutes. Please?"</p><p>Penelope sighed as she sat back in her chair. She wanted Emily. Someone.</p><p>The day went on as usual. Penelope distanced herself from the rest of the team. Both by choice of Penelope herself and by choice of the others. She kept to herself. She didn't want to be a burden with her bargaining. There were some times where she would be accompanied by one of the team members, but they went as quickly as they came to her. Things were weird between all of them. They were all there for each other, but nobody said a word.</p><p>It was now nine o'clock at night. Penelope was one of the last agents to leave. She sighed as she walked out of her office before heading to Hotch's office. She knocked, but nobody was inside. The woman looked around the bullpen and just decided to shut the door and sit down in the chairs across from Hotch's desk.</p><p>Needless to say, she was on edge. She hated group evaluations. That means that she would have to confront the change she never wanted to accept.</p><p>Penelope bounced her leg up and down as she sat in Hotch's office. The door opened and shut. Spencer stood there, a small smile on his face as he waved shyly at Penelope.</p><p>"But I thought—"</p><p>"Morgan and I talked to him. The two of us drew names for the rest of you since Hotch wanted to talk to JJ himself, and well, I got yours," Spencer said and sat down across from Penelope in the chairs. Garcia stammered a bit before nodding her head and turning to face Reid. "Well, I guess the first question would be, how are you?"</p><p>"Coping," Penelope said and shrugged her shoulders. "You know me, Reid. I don't like the way the universe is sometimes with the way it works. This is one of those times where I want to throw away all my crystals and tarot cards and scream at the universe for lining up fate like this."</p><p>"So you're angry?" Spencer said and tilted his head. Penelope sighed and looked down towards her hands.</p><p>"I was at the beginning. I feel terrible about this. But I was mad at Emily for about a week after she died. It's messed up, I know, but it's true. I know she didn't want to gamble with Declan's life. And for that, she's an amazing mom. I was one of her best friends. I know that when something means a lot to her, she'll take care of it like it's the last thing she'll do. But, she acted as though we would have never forgiven her for keeping that secret. But somehow, I was mad that she lied to me," Penelope said and shook her head. "But then I got over it because I knew that that little boy, wherever he is in the world, he means a whole lot to her. That she loved Declan more than anything in this world. And that she loved us more than anything, to sacrifice herself. And then that's when the guilt took over."</p><p>"Emily has always been a strong woman," Spencer said and smiled at the thought of the raven-haired woman. "We all shouldn't feel guilty about how this ended. I know it's hard, but it's the truth. Emily probably had a lot of opportunities to leave before she went with him. She died fighting. And that's the most Emily way to go out."</p><p>"Emily was the strongest person I've ever met. And not a day goes by where I don't miss her or think about her. She was more than my coworker. She was more than just someone I associate myself with. She was my best friend. She was like a sister to me," Penelope said and wiped her tears away. Crying came second nature to Penelope now. "I've lost a lot of family, and it always hurts losing family. And I figured that Em and I would be chasing each other around in wheelchairs at the nursing home when time had caught up to the both of us. And the rest of you were there to keep us in line or hand us a ball of yarn to knit with. But never in a million years did I want her beautiful story of a life to come crashing down to this. To this! She deserved more than that. She deserved her fairytale ending of marrying the person she loved and having kids and living in a big house with a dog and a cat, maybe some fish and godchildren. Emily deserved to have grandkids and see her bloodline before her eyes as they get older. Emily deserved a peaceful death in her sleep after the hell of a life she's had. That's what she deserved. She didn't deserve some monster coming in and stripping that all away from her."</p><p>"Penelope. You always say everything happens for a reason," Spencer said softly. "And until Emily's death, I've never seen you doubt the universe."</p><p>"I know! I know. But what good is supposed to come out of this? What lesson am I supposed to learn from her death? Because all I feel is loneliness and guilt that I couldn't save my best friend and a mother to some little boy who's probably so scared right now. She was hurting, and I—I didn't see it. Is that my lesson? To be more mindful of everyone? To tell them I love them with all my heart before they leave? Is that what this lesson is?" Penelope asked and kept her head down. "That's a terrible lesson because it means I wasn't doing it before."</p><p>Spencer kept his head down. "You weren't the only one who didn't tell her enough how much you loved her."</p><p>"But you guys got to spend more time with her. You're out in the field, running around chasing bad guys. Meanwhile, I—I'm here at my bubble of a desk. And I can't remember the last time I saw her. Like truly saw her. I don't remember. I don't even remember the last thing I said to her," Penelope said as a sob slipped out of her mouth. "What if it was the most boring thing? Spencer, I don't even know if she got the voicemail we left her."</p><p>"Hey," Spencer said and reached across and grabbed Penelope's hand. "You know, a friend of mine told me that there are different ways to see someone after they die. Rossi goes to church. I go to the cemetery. JJ goes down to their favorite coffee shop. My point is, her death doesn't have to be viewed as just a bad thing. And I know for a fact that Emily wouldn't want you to blame yourself for this, Penelope."</p><p>"But none of that can bring her back. And that's the hardest part of losing someone. She was the glue that held this team together. This team doesn't make sense without her," Penelope said and wiped away her tears. "Life doesn't make sense without her. And I'm so scared of losing another family member."</p><p>Spencer and Penelope both fell into silence. Neither one of them wanted to say anything. Everything that needed to be said already was. Spencer moved his chair closer to Penelope. The woman leaned her head against his shoulder.</p><p>"I love you," Spencer said softly as Penelope cried.</p><p>"I love you too," Penelope said and nuzzled her head into his neck. "So, so much, boy genius. But I don't want to talk about her being gone. Can I talk now about how she made me smile? Of how much I loved her?"</p><p>Spencer turned his head and placed a kiss right on Penelope's head. "Let's talk about that. That sounds nice."</p><p>Hotch walked into the BAU. He looked up from the file in his hand and looked over towards the window. He sighed as he saw the two agents in the office hugging it out. Penelope tried her hardest to muffle her sobs, but Hotch heard the cries loud and clear with the empty environment.</p><p>The sooner we find him, the sooner she can come back.</p><p>It was the following day, bright and early, as Penelope walked in. Two coffees in her hands as she walked towards the desks. She handed one to Derek. "Good morning, my lovely beautiful family."</p><p>"Well, good morning," Derek said and smiled slightly as he grabbed the coffee. She went around and kissed each one of the team members on the cheek. Each one raised their eyebrows.</p><p>"What's got you in the mood for all the love sharing?" JJ asked as Penelope embraced her in a deep hug. JJ's eyebrows furrowed as Penelope didn't let go. Spencer looked over at Penelope, who had her eyes shut as she held onto her. "Penelope?"</p><p>"Garcia?" Spencer asked and placed his hand gently on the woman's arm. Penelope broke away and wiped her tears away. "Do you want to--?"</p><p>"Shhhh," Penelope said and just pulled each member into a group hug. All of them furrowing their eyebrows. "Not yet. I just want to soak in the wonderfulness that is each and every one of you. And to take this time to tell you how much I love each and every single one of you. I do. I really do. To the bottom of the little love-filled heart."</p><p>"We love you too," Rossi said and kissed Penelope's head. The team all broke away from each other as Penelope sighed heavily. She nodded her head as she finally let go of everyone.</p><p>"Can—Can we go on a family lunch today? It can be like old times. I know we're all dealing with this situation still, but we're a family. We're not supposed to push each other away. It's not what Emily would have wanted," Penelope said and pursed her lips. All four agents nodded their heads as they smiled softly at Penelope.</p><p>"I'm thinking burgers?" Derek said and wrapped an arm around Penelope. He kissed her head as she nuzzled her head into the man's chest.</p><p>Just as they were discussing where to eat, Hotch walked in. Penelope perked up at the sight of the man. "Hotch. We're all going out for lunch today. And you're joining us."</p><p>"Uh, Penelope. I'm sorry, I just realized I had this meeting planned for—"</p><p>"No," Penelope said and turned towards JJ as she tried to give an excuse not to be in the same room for more than two minutes with Hotch.</p><p>"Garcia," Spencer said softly. Penelope looked around with her jaw slacked.</p><p>"I get it," Penelope said and balled her hands into fists. "You're all still pissed off at Hotch for what he did to JJ. And if we're honest here, so am I. But it's been exactly one hundred eighty-three days. Six months since Emily died."</p><p>The entire team hung their heads low as Penelope clenched her jaw at all of them.</p><p>"I truly believe that deceased loved ones come back and visit on the anniversary of their deaths. Three months, six months, a year, whatever. They come back and look over us. I cannot and will not have Emily come back here and see all of us mad at each other. She sees that the rest of the days. But she deserves to see us be a family once again. Even if it's just for lunch, Emily would be ashamed at all of us for fighting and giving the other the cold shoulder. She didn't die for us to be mad at each other! She left thinking we all would be taking care of the other. Not this," Penelope said as tears fell freely from her eyes. "Her found family meant everything to her. We meant everything to her!"</p><p>An unsettling silence fell between all of them as Penelope raised her voice for the first time at the team.</p><p>"After this lunch, we can go back to the fighting and the screaming and the hating each other even though none of us want to point fingers. But I need to do this for her. Well, all have to do this for her. She saved our lives. It's the least we can do," Penelope finished ranting and grabbed her coffee before storming out of the room. Derek followed after her.</p><p>The man grabbed onto Penelope before her knees gave out right in front of her office. The nerves had her physically shaking.</p><p>"Did I really just do that?" Penelope asked as Derek held her upright. "Did I really just yell at everyone?"</p><p>"Yes, you did. And we all deserved it. Especially Hotch, but that's a conversation for after lunch," Derek said and smiled softly at Penelope. "Emily would be proud of you for telling it like it is, baby."</p><p>"She would, wouldn't she?" Penelope said and gulped loudly. Derek chuckled as Penelope nodded her head fast.</p><p>"Come on. Let's get you to sit down so you don't pass out or fall on me," Derek said and led Garcia towards the office. He had gotten her settled before leaving Penelope be. She sighed and tilted her head back.</p><p>"He's right, you know," Emily said and sat on the edge of Penelope's desk. She smiled softly at Garcia. "I am very proud of you."</p><p>Penelope reached her hand out to touch her but stopped herself. She simply just smiled at Emily. "Thank you."</p><p>"No, thank you, I was afraid I'd have to jump out of the shadows and lunge at them," Emily said and chuckled while rolling her eyes.</p><p>Penelope enjoyed the company of Emily as she continued her daily search parameters. Still nothing. Where are you, you nasty monster?</p><p>It came time for lunch. Penelope stood at the bullpen doorway as the rest of the team made their way to her. JJ, Derek, Rossi, Spencer, and Penelope all walked towards the elevator. Penelope was about to press the button when the doors opened. Hotch stood there with Emily. She was smiling up at him with such love in her eyes.</p><p>"Good, I thought I was going to have to meet everyone there," Aaron said and held the elevator doors open for all of them. The seven of them managed to squeeze into the elevator. All of them were quiet. But they were together.</p><p>Throughout the entire lunch, the table would sometimes fall into awkward silences. Penelope would be the one to resurrect the conversation and continue it.</p><p>The tension between the rest of the team and Hotch didn't settle over one lunch. But it was baby steps. What Hotch had done, in Penelope's mind, was unforgivable. He had to make it up to JJ for the rest of her life. But he was here, and he was trying to patch things with them. That's all Penelope and Emily could have asked for.</p><p>Things felt like before with Emily still around. Even if it was just for an hour, it brought peace to Penelope's heart. It brought hope that things would be alright. Even after Emily was taken from them.</p><p>Baby steps, Penny, baby steps.</p><p>It was a couple of days later. And Penelope found herself sitting in her car. The woman took a deep breath as she glanced over at the cemetery lot. There was nobody there, surprisingly for it being a Saturday morning.</p><p>Penelope encouraged herself to step out of the car. She grabbed the basket and her keys and bag before stepping out. Garcia carefully walked up to Emily's grave. "Hey, Em. I'm sorry I haven't been by to see you. I guess that's just the part in me that doesn't want to accept what happened. But I'm here now. And I brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with some almond milk and fruit slices. I would bring some croissants, but Reid told me he comes by and leaves you it, so I didn't want to copy. And these beautiful flowers from the market."</p><p>The woman fanned out the blanket and sat down. She sighed as she sat down right in front of the grave. Just looking at the name built tears in her eyes. Her hand went up and touched the grave, praying it would disappear just like Emily would. Penelope prayed it was just a bad dream. But when her hand came into contact with the headstone, she knew it was reality.</p><p>As much as Penelope didn't want to admit it, this was reality now. She hated it.</p><p>"I miss you," Penelope said as she cried. "I miss you so much, Em. But I hope you're somewhere in heaven, dancing with David Bowie and Amy Winehouse. And drinking fabulously expensive red wine with Prince. I just hope you know that your Earth family misses you so so much."</p><p>"I miss you too," Emily said as she sat down right next to Penelope. The blonde woman had tears running down her face. "Soon, this will all be behind you. You'll forget about me eventually."</p><p>"It may be behind me eventually, but my love and light for you will be eternal. I don't ever want to forget you, Emily. You're teaching me right now to be more affectionate towards the people I love because I never know when they'll be gone," Penelope said and wanted so desperately to reach out for Emily. "I love you. Please don't say I'll forget you."</p><p>"Penelope," Emily said softly. "I'm just a memory now."</p><p>"Memories live forever. My children and my children's children and their children's children will learn about the FBI agent that saved my life. In life and death," Penelope said and pursed her lips. "Every Dia de Los Muertos, your picture is going to go up along with your favorite bottle of wine."</p><p>"I'll quote you on that," Emily said and chuckled. "You're slowly accepting that I'm gone."</p><p>Penelope realized what she had said and was at a loss for words.</p><p>"Acceptance is probably the hardest part of the grief stages," Emily said and moved closer towards Penelope. "You know, author Richard Puz said in a book of his that 'death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.' I'll always be a memory. Now it's your turn to accept that I'm gone."</p><p>"I don't want to."</p><p>"I know, but you will eventually," Emily said and smiled softly. "I love you, PG, every day, all day, forever."</p><p>"And I love you too, EP every day, all day, forever. I promise."</p><p>Penelope: "She's always beside me, away or at-home; so sometimes I'm lonely, but never alone." Sherrill S. Cannon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>emily comes back next chapter! y'all ain't ready and get ready for ✨drama✨</p><p>also fair warning it's my sister's birthday tomorrow so i'll probably do a midday update 😌</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>someone grab the popcorn and slushees! our favorite milf has returned!☺️</p><p>happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍</p><p>TW: mentions of death, heavy amounts of swearing, gun violence, physical violence, ptsd symptoms, mentions of physical abuse <br/>word count: 5490</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ: "There is no denying that there is evil in this world but the light will always conquer the darkness." Idowu Koyenikan. </p><p>Two Years Later:</p><p>Derek aimed his gun right at the man.</p><p>"FBI! Put your hands up, Doyle!" Morgan yelled as the man had his hands on the fire escape ladder. He clenched his jaw and put his hands up. Derek walked up to him and had the pleasure of throwing the man to the ground and handcuffing him. He pulled him to his feet. "Get up. Get up!"</p><p>"Where did the mannerism go from the FBI?" Doyle asked as he stood up. Aaron walked out. Ian smiled widely at the man. "Aaron Hotchner. Just the man I wanted to see."</p><p>Hotch stood right in front of him, and it took everything in him not to beat the smile off of Doyle's face.</p><p>"I can see your fiancé has a thing for beards," Ian said and smiled. Hotch clenched his jaw at the remark. "I'm sorry. Had a thing for beards."</p><p>"Get him out of here," Aaron said as he stared down Doyle. Derek and the two police officers practically pushed Doyle towards the door of the roof. Hotch stood back and took a deep breath.</p><p>Don't kill him, Aaron, don't kill him.</p><p>It didn't take long for the team to transport Doyle to Quantico. It was a long two years of journey to find him. But they did, thanks to JJ and Clara. The blonde woman had reached out to Clara after her stay at the psychiatric hospital. Clara and JJ had gone through all the possibilities of where precisely a place was that Emily knew where to go in case of an emergency. That's when it hit both of them.</p><p>Augusta, Maine.</p><p>Although Emily rarely ever talked about her mother, it was the city that made the most sense in their minds. Thanks to Penelope, she and JJ had found Declan only two weeks ago. He was a freshman now in high school.</p><p>When JJ first laid eyes on Declan, she saw Emily staring right back at her. Although Emily wasn't biological Declan's mother, there was no hiding the woman's energy and soul that was embedded into the fourteen-year-old.</p><p>All was going well until JJ got a call from Spencer and Rossi that Declan was nowhere to be found at the house. Louise had been brutally murdered, and there was absolutely no trace of Declan. Penelope was able to find an image of a man cutting the wires of the cameras they installed to keep an eye on Declan. Everything was good to go in a file that was handed to JJ.</p><p>"He has to be behind this. Who else would take Declan," JJ said and clenched her jaw. Hotch, Derek, and Strauss stood on either side of JJ. The blonde woman sighed before taking off her gun and handing it to Derek. "I'm going to go in."</p><p>"JJ, are you—"</p><p>JJ was already out the door before Derek could get his question out. The blonde woman settled herself before placing her hand on the door handle.</p><p>JJ walked into the interrogation room and locked eyes with Doyle. She shut the door and took a seat right across from him, throwing down the file in her hand.</p><p>"Agent Jareau," Doyle said and observed her. "You look troubled. Tell me what's on your mind."</p><p>"It's taking every single nerve, atom, fiber in me not to throw this table across the room and kill you with my bare hands. I've had two years of thoughts about how you would die. And how I would be the one to watch as your life slowly left your body," JJ said and clenched her jaw.</p><p>"I'm sorry about your friend," Ian said and raised his eyebrows. JJ took a deep breath. Don't lose it. "But you had to know she was no good."</p><p>"She was good. You just hated her because she outsmarted you. You taking her away from me gave me the fuel and motivation to end this. And you should be thanking God for me not being able to find you. I visioned you, at my house, at my job, at her funeral. And my gun was always loaded, waiting for the day you were actually there. I'm the best shot on my team. I don't miss," JJ said and stood up. She placed her hands flat against the cold metal of the table. "So let me be perfectly clear. I will make sure you go through hell for taking away Emily. I will break you, you son of a bitch. And most importantly, I'll be the reason you never see your son again. That's if they haven't killed him already. So where is he?"</p><p>"You expect me to believe he's not okay?" Ian asked and tilted his head to the side. "I spent years believing my son was killed. I won't believe a fucking word that comes out of any of your mouths."</p><p>"Look at my face," JJ said and clenched her jaw as she locked eyes with him. "Does it look like I'm lying to you?"</p><p>Ian only clenched his jaw.</p><p>"Where is he?" JJ asked again as she circled around Doyle. The man didn't say anything. JJ slammed her hand on the table. "Where is he!"</p><p>"Don't play dumb. Your team found him a week before I did," Ian said and chuckled. JJ grabbed the files and turned the picture towards him. Ian furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"This man probably has your son. Do you care now?" JJ asked sarcastically as she grabbed the picture and file. Ian was watching as she left the room.</p><p>She walked back into the opposite room and watched as Doyle was frantically looking around. The realization hit him. They weren't lying. JJ squinted her eyes. "He doesn't know. His carotid started racing now that he's alone and saw the picture."</p><p>"I need everyone in the conference room," Hotch said and walked into the room again. His cellphone in his hand. Strauss nodded at him as Derek and JJ followed him. Spencer and Rossi were there, along with Penelope.</p><p>"Anything from the house?" Derek asked and sat down next to Reid. The man shook his head.</p><p>"But there were clothes for a man in the closet. Someone else was living there," Spencer said and looked over to Rossi.</p><p>"It was brutal. That kill was personal. Not to mention she was stuffed in the closet," Rossi said and shook his head.</p><p>"Let me have your attention. So, two years and six months ago, I made a decision that drastically changed this team. As you all know, Emily lost a lot of blood with her fight with Doyle. But doctors were able to stabilize her. She was transferred from Boston to Paris, where she relocated. Emily was given several different identities that I didn't have access to for her security," Aaron said and kept his eyes to the floor. The entire room was silent. You could hear a pin drop.</p><p>"She's alive?" Penelope asked in disbelief.</p><p>"But we buried her," Spencer said softly.</p><p>"I take full responsibility for this decision," Aaron said and finally grew the courage to look around the room. All of their eyes read confusion. That wasn't until the sound of heels clicking behind them was heard.</p><p>All of them turned towards the source of the sound.</p><p>Emily stood at the doorway while everyone looked back at her in awe. There was only one person who dared to get up.</p><p>"Kiddo," Rossi said softly and made his way to Emily. The woman had tears in her eyes as she nodded her head.</p><p>"Dad," Emily said as Rossi embraced her into a hug. He held onto her so tight so that she wouldn't go again. Emily held onto him for dear life. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"You're here, now. There's nothing to be sorry for," Rossi said and pulled back and wiped her tears away. Penelope was the next one to stand up and make her way to Emily.</p><p>"Penny," Emily said as the woman practically engulfed her in a hug. "I've missed you."</p><p>"Oh, thank the stars and heavens. I missed you so much," Penelope said and rubbed Emily's back as the two savored the touch of one another again. Spencer got up next. He played with his hands as Emily pulled away from Penelope.</p><p>"Spence," Emily said softly as Reid hugged Emily tightly. His face buried into the woman's neck as he cried softly.</p><p>"Thank you. Thank you," Spencer said to no one in particular as he hugged Emily. The woman smiled widely. She looked over his shoulder and saw one person staring back at her.</p><p>"Princess," Derek said softly. Emily broke away from Spencer and ran up to Derek, engulfing him in a hug. He held onto her tightly. The woman was having flashbacks to the same hug in Paris.</p><p>"Derek," Emily sighed in relief as she hugged him. His cologne was filling her nostrils.</p><p>"Emily," JJ said as tears fell freely from her eyes. Emily looked over at her. "You're really here?"</p><p>That sentence broke Emily's heart. She pulled away from Derek and walked carefully up to JJ. The blonde woman hesitated to place her hand on her. She was so scared Emily would disappear out of thin air.</p><p>"JJ, I'm right here," Emily said and finally placed her hand on JJ's. The blonde woman felt the touch and didn't hesitate to hug Emily. The two women shut their eyes as they embraced. JJ held onto her for dear life as she cried.</p><p>"I knew it," JJ said softly. "Thank you, God."</p><p>The two held onto each other the longest before Emily finally broke away. Aaron stood there, hands in his pockets as he tried to find the right words to say to the woman standing in front of him.</p><p>"Welcome back," Aaron said and smiled softly. Emily walked up to him and threw her arms around him. The man holding her so close, he felt as though any tighter and he'd break Emily.</p><p>"Thank you," Emily said and wiped her tears away. The two pulled away from each other and smiled shyly.</p><p>Emily glanced over at JJ, who had a look of disgust on her face. Emily was about to question it when Hotch took a deep breath.</p><p>"You knew," JJ said and clenched her jaw. "You put me through hell, and you fucking knew."</p><p>"Everyone give us some space, please," Aaron said and didn't take his eyes off of JJ. Nobody moved a muscle until Aaron looked up. "Now."</p><p>Garcia, Spencer, and Derek all shook their heads as they grabbed their stuff. Rossi looked between the three before sighing and walking out, shutting the door behind him.</p><p>"Emily, space," Hotch repeated. Emily stood still. The only movement was of her crossing her arms.</p><p>"Whatever the two of you are going to say, you can say it in front of me," Emily said and looked between Hotch and JJ. "What the hell is going on?"</p><p>"You didn't tell her?" JJ asked and cocked her head to the side. He didn't say anything. "Hotch had me publicly humiliated by having two armed policemen handcuff me and walk me out of this building to be escorted to St. Elizabeth's mental hospital. People looked at me like a criminal. They convinced me that I was crazy. That you were a delusion. And he waited until I got married for him to send me off because Will my power of attorney. I knew there was a reason you were so pressing on me getting married to him. And I just assumed you were taking your anger out on me because I threaten you in some way. Maybe it's both now. And when I got back, I was under a microscope. If I so much as mentioned you to him. Or if he saw me looking at a chair too long, I would be thrown back in there. That's what Aaron Hotchner, good boss, an even better friend, did."</p><p>"Hotch," Emily said in disbelief. She looked at Aaron, who was silent. That was never a good sign.</p><p>JJ took a few steps towards Hotch with her jaw locked. "You are the most selfish son of a bitch that I've ever met. You couldn't tell me about her being alive, and I get it. But you crossed the line by throwing me into the fucking hospital. And you metaled in my personal life to make sure a plan went through. You know I would have never married Will if I knew Emily was still alive. Is that why you did it?"</p><p>"I know your personal biases see this as a way to get at you, but what you lack is the ability to think of it from my point of view. You had access to a gun and was hallucinating," Aaron said and tilted his head at JJ. The woman shook her head, and she laughed bitterly.</p><p>"You were wrong about sending me away! And you were wrong about keeping Emily in the dark about the disgusting things you did when she was gone. You just can't fucking admit you were wrong," JJ yelled and pointed her finger at the man.</p><p>"I wasn't wrong about sending Emily away to protect her. And I surely wasn't wrong about sending you away either so the rest of the team could focus without you claiming to see Emily every other day," Aaron said, raising his voice the further he talked.</p><p>"You son of a bitch," JJ hissed. She didn't even think twice as her hand came up and slapped him right across the face. The man was tumbling to the side because of the hit. His face red as JJ balled her hands into fists. Everyone's jaw dropped as Hotch held his cheek. "You wouldn't have found him without me. Don't stroke your ego so much."</p><p>JJ walked out of the room without another word.</p><p>Aaron just shut his eyes as he moved his jaw. The hit was a good one. His eyes looked over at Emily, who stood there, arms crossed, jaw dropped. She scoffed before moving to go after JJ. Aaron took a few steps to go after her.</p><p>"Emily—"</p><p>The usage of her name sent her into a world full of rage. She turned on her heels and smacked Hotch across the face, definitely harder than JJ did. This time, Aaron fell to the floor. His face on fire now.</p><p>"You look at me in the eyes and say you didn't do that to her!" Emily shouted. Hotch picked his head up and just stayed quiet. Her entire body shook with anger. "Did you ever stop to think, maybe it was your own bias that sent her away in the first place? I don't know where the Aaron Hotchner I last saw went because he certainly isn't sitting right in front of me."</p><p>Emily didn't say any other word as she ran out of the room to chance after JJ. Aaron sat on the floor. His face was stinging now from two slaps. He glanced over at the team, who all looked away the second he looked at them.</p><p>"JJ!" Emily shouted as she ran down the hallway. She looked out into the empty hallways and sighed. She headed towards JJ's office when she saw her in there. Emily opened the door and shut it behind her. JJ looked over her shoulder and saw Emily there. The older woman didn't say anything as she walked up to JJ with her arms out. JJ carefully placed her hand on Emily. The two women embracing as JJ just cried into her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, JJ."</p><p>The two were silent as Emily didn't dare move away. JJ needed her right here, and that's where she'd stay. Emily's eyes ran up the wall as she collected her thoughts.</p><p>"Is it true?"</p><p>"Is what true?" JJ asked as she held onto Emily a little tighter. She was terrified of the following question.</p><p>"That you wouldn't have married him if you knew I was still alive?" Emily asked, just above a whisper. She felt JJ tense up at the question.</p><p>"I don't thi—"</p><p>Knock. Knock. Knock.</p><p>Both shut their eyes. No moments of peace, ever. They pulled away from each other as Derek opened the door. "We need you in interrogation, Em."</p><p>"Of course," Emily said and smiled softly. The two agents happily offered Emily their arms as they walked the woman to the interrogation room. Derek and JJ stayed behind and looked at her through the glass. JJ ignoring the man standing in there already, his cheek still red.</p><p>Emily took a deep breath before she placed her hand on the handle. She walked in, and Ian picked his head up. His eyes darkened as he saw her there.</p><p>"Oh, of course. Why am I not surprised? Did you sell your soul to remain immortal? Or is it just dumb luck?" Ian said as anger slowly took over his body. Emily shut the door behind her and crossed her arms.</p><p>"Where is he?" Emily asked simply.</p><p>"Where were you all this time?" Ian asked and tilted his head to the side.</p><p>"I'm trying to find Declan. Now, where is he?" Emily asked again, slowly getting angrier as Doyle sat there with a smug grin.</p><p>"Probably Europe. You have that glow to you like you did before when you and I were there," Ian said and smiled slightly as Emily finally snapped.</p><p>"Where is my son, Ian? Where is he?" Emily asked, leaning over the table with her hands flat against the cold metal. Ian paused before trying to grab at her. The handcuffs to the table were stopping him from lunging at her. Emily didn't even flinch at this burst of anger.</p><p>"Your son?" Doyle asked and laughed. "Your son!"</p><p>"Yes, my son! Because you don't know the first thing about him," Emily shouted and kept her harsh stare on Ian.</p><p>"Who's fault is that? You took him away from me," Doyle said through his teeth. Emily chuckled.</p><p>"He was never yours. We both know he favored me because I never hit him. I never abused him. I constantly showed him love, unlike yourself. You didn't know the first thing about my son," Emily hissed as she balled her hands into fists. "My son who was a star basketball player and lacrosse player. My son who gets straight A's every grading period. My son who has colleges looking at giving him a full athletic scholarship as a freshman! My son who has a gentle and loving heart, and he didn't get that from you. My son who knows better than to ever talk down to a woman, unlike his father. My son who is everything you're not! That is who Declan is! He's not a monster like how you wanted him to be! Declan is my son because he sees me as his mom. And you know what, Tom, Louise, and I did a fucking great job with raising him."</p><p>"Let me find him," Ian said and gestured to the handcuffs.</p><p>"You are not leaving. I went through hell to make sure he would never have to see your face again. Him seeing you will do a lot more harm than good. I'll find him, with or without you," Emily said and clenched her jaw. Just as she was about to walk out to the room, Aaron walked in, gesturing her to come out with him. Emily sighed and wanted out with him. He handed her the tablet.</p><p>"Do you know this woman?" Aaron asked as Emily furrowed her eyebrows. She watched as the woman walked right into the school, handing them a tray of cupcakes. The woman looked a lot like Emily. "We called the school when Penelope found this. Apparently, Declan had gone home with an upset stomach."</p><p>"I don't know her. But one thing is for sure; Tom made sure that he, Louise and I were only able to pull him out of school," Emily said and shook her head. She handed the tablet to Hotch. "But I think I know how to find her, and if she's who I think she is, she's definitely the one who took Declan. You don't stuff a woman you don't know into a closet."</p><p>She didn't say anything else as she walked off and towards Penelope's lair. Inside, the woman was already typing away. "Hey, Penelope. I need a favor."</p><p>"We talked about this, Em. Not when I'm working," Penelope said and didn't even lookup. Emily furrowed her eyebrows as she gently placed her hand on the woman's chair. Garcia realized what she said and widened her eyes. "I—sorry, this is going to confuse me for a little. What do you need?"</p><p>"I need to find every single one of Doyle's known girlfriends. That woman in the video, and I hate to say it, looks a hell of a lot like me. So my guess is that I wasn't the first brunette in his life," Emily said and squinted her eyes as Penelope's computer filled with pictures of insanely beautiful women. Well, he definitely had a type. And sure enough, the mystery woman was on the list.</p><p>"It's like staring at off-brand versions of you," Penelope said softly as she scrolled through the file.</p><p>"Can you print those to me?" Emily asked and placed her hand on Penelope's arm. The blonde woman instantly held onto her hand, not wanting to let go as she nodded her head.</p><p>After ten pictures were printed, Emily grabbed them and walked out of the room. She headed back towards the interrogation room where Morgan and JJ were double-teaming on Doyle. She walked in, and all eyes were on her. "Which one of these is Declan's mom?"</p><p>Doyle instantly pointed to the woman in the video. Emily clenched her jaw as she grabbed the photo. JJ and Derek both crossed their arms as they watched Ian watched Emily. Both wanted to beat him senseless as his eyes went down as she gathered everything in front of him. The two got in his line of sight, blocking his view of Emily as she turned her back and left.</p><p>"If you want to help your son. I'm going to need a list of every single person who might have a vendetta towards you. Big or small. It doesn't matter," Derek said and pulled out a pen. JJ handed him her notebook. The man sighed and grabbed both.</p><p>"Okay, if I was going to kidnap my mortal enemy's son. What would I do with him?" Penelope said and hovered her hands over her keyboard. "I'd get out of town, firstly. Maybe by airplane or train. But it's too risky staying here with all of the FBI looking for this boy."</p><p>"I'd go international," Spencer said and pursed his lips. "See if either Chloe owned any land or anything close to water. Going by plane would be too risky unless it was a private jet. They do have a lot of money.</p><p>"We've got a list," Derek said and walked in. JJ, Aaron, and Emily were all behind him. "Every known alive enemy of Doyle."</p><p>"I imagine that was a long list," Rossi said as Derek handed it over to them.</p><p>"Chloe is at the top. But that still doesn't explain the man in the video. But she could have a partner that does her dirty work for her," Emily said and crossed her arms. Penelope was typing away.</p><p>"Uh, I think I got something. So Doyle murdered a man named Jimmy McDermott. But Jimmy had a younger brother, Lachlan, who owns an import company. He looks a lot like the guy in the video. They ship internationally. Lachlan has three warehouses, one of which is slated to be demolished," Penelope said and got the coordinates from the warehouse. "And would you look at that the McDermott family imports weapons to a private airfield in Maryland. Dirty, dirty."</p><p>"There's only one problem. Declan and I hate to say this, is worth a lot of money. We aren't going to be able to talk them down of letting Declan go unless we have something more," JJ said and shook her head. The entire team fell silent as they all thought of a plan.</p><p>"We give them Doyle," Spencer said. Emily's eyes widened.</p><p>"No. Absolutely not," Emily said as her scar subconsciously started to itch.</p><p>"Do you want to save him or not, Emily? This is the only way. I will chain him to myself if I have to," Spencer said and locked eyes with Emily. The woman's head was filling with flashbacks of the man before he was in handcuffs. "I promise. He won't lay a hand on you."</p><p>"Okay," Emily said as the team broke off. Spencer and Derek went to get Doyle, Aaron, and Rossi went to get Strauss. And that left Penelope and JJ here with Emily. The woman's scars started to itch. She didn't like this idea.</p><p>Emily unbuttoned the top button on her shirt and started to scratch at it. Both Penelope and JJ watched her with furrowed eyebrows. She glanced up and realized they could see her new tattoo.</p><p>"That's where he branded you?" JJ asked softly. The memory of Emily screaming out for her help over the phone haunting her and Penelope. Emily didn't say anything as she buttoned her shirt back up.</p><p>Spencer, Rossi, Derek, and Aaron all walked back into the bullpen. JJ and Emily both blowing a kiss goodbye to Garcia as they were now racing against the clock to Maryland.</p><p>Aaron had called up the local authorities as well as homeland security to meet them in Baltimore. Luckily, they had gotten there just in time. The plane was just about to take off when the FBI and all local authorities surrounded the plane. Hotch stepped out of the car with a megaphone in his hand.</p><p>"Lachlan McDermott. Chloe Donaghy. This is the FBI. We have you surrounded. We know you have Declan. To ensure his safety, we would like to trade. We will give you Ian Doyle, and you send us the boy," Aaron said and watched the plane like a hawk. Emily and Spencer both helped Ian out of the car.</p><p>"This wasn't a part of the deal," Chloe said and turned around as Lachlan grabbed Declan.</p><p>"No, but it just got interesting," he said and turned around. Chloe was about to aim her gun at him when Lachlan shot her right in the shoulder. He didn't waste time opening the door to the plane and walking Declan down the stairs. Doyle tried to fight Spencer and Emily, but it was no use.</p><p>"Mom?" Declan shouted as he was brought down the stairs. Emily nearly ran to him, but the man pressed the gun harder into Declan's chest.</p><p>"Hold on," Emily said softly. The boy nodded his head as he was shaking as the man held a gun to him.</p><p>"Bring Doyle here," Lachlan said. Spencer and Emily both shoved Doyle towards the man. When he was in reach, Declan broke free and immediately ran to Emily. The woman engulfed him in a hug. "I'm right here."</p><p>"Gun!" Derek yelled as Chloe submerged from the plane. He aimed the gun right towards Emily and Declan, firing her weapon. Emily shielded Declan and tossed them both to the floor. Her hands cradled his head as multiple gunshots ran out. Emily heard three bodies drop before she carefully got off of Declan. She turned and saw Ian on the ground. He reached up to his neck and felt the blood there.</p><p>He and Declan locked eyes. Ian reached his hand out for Declan's. The boy looked up at Emily to see if it was okay. She nodded hesitantly. The boy reached over and placed his hand on his.</p><p>"I remember you," Declan said softly. Emily had tears in her eyes as she looked at the sight in front of her. "Why do I remember you?"</p><p>"I'm sorry, son," Ian said as his eyes slowly shut. Emily pulled Declan away from Ian's lifeless body. Emily looked all over the boy's face. He wasn't hurt.</p><p>"Mom," Declan said as tears filled his eyes. Emily just wrapped her arms around him. "Please don't leave again."</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere. I promise," Emily said and shut her eyes as Declan hugged her tightly. The team all sitting back and watched the mother and son reunite. "Oh, I missed you so much. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."</p><p>"Are you okay?" Spencer asked and helped the two of them up. Emily nodded her head as she still looked around Declan to make sure he was too. It was just her motherly instincts. The woman realized there were five different sets of eyes all on her and her son. Emily smiled slightly and placed both her hands on Declan's shoulders, standing right behind him.</p><p>"Declan, honey. This is my team. I'm sure you remember them from the pictures," Emily said and smiled down at her son. At fourteen, Declan was almost as tall as Emily almost.</p><p>"You're Derek Morgan. David Rossi. Dr. Spencer Reid. Jennifer Jareau and Aaron Hotchner," Declan said and smiled slightly at each member.</p><p>"And you have an Auntie Penelope back at Quantico who is impatiently waiting to meet you," JJ said and bent over slightly to be eye leveled with the boy. She stuck her hand out and smiled warmly at him. He shook JJ's hand. "It is so lovely to meet you, Declan finally."</p><p>Emily glanced over at Doyle's body as the police were covering it up. A significant weight lifted off her shoulders as the man didn't get up. Everything was okay now. Declan looked up at his mother, who was lost in a trance. He tugged at her jacket, bringing her down to Earth. She smiled before pressing a kiss onto his forehead.</p><p>"Let's go home."</p><p>Emily and Declan had rented a hotel room as Tom was flying back in from overseas. She walked into the room with Declan as he sat down and was fidgeting with his fingers. Emily set down the pizza in her hand as she noticed his nervousness. She knelt down in front of the boy. He had tears in his eyes as he looked at Emily. "What's wrong, honey?"</p><p>"Why did that man call me son? And why did the lady who took me tell me I was her son?" Declan asked. Emily pursed her lips.</p><p>"I think we should have this conversation when--"</p><p>"No, mom," Declan said and sighed deeply. "What aren't you tell me? I want to know everything."</p><p>Emily sighed and stood up, and sat down right next to Declan. The boy was relaxing into his mom's touch as she played with his tiny curls on his head. Midway through the story, he started to cry. Emily held him close as she played with the boy's hair to calm him down. He was heartbroken.</p><p>"You're not my real mom?" Declan asked as Emily placed a kiss against his head. The boy's head rested against Emily's chest as he had finally calmed down half an hour later.</p><p>"Biologically, no. Mentally, I would hope I am," Emily said and chuckled softly. "I hope you realize, Declan. You don't have to be blood-related to someone to call them your family. I am the perfect example of that. Sometimes you find your family."</p><p>"I want to stay here with you," Declan said and looked up at Emily. The woman's jaw dropped slightly.</p><p>"Declan--"</p><p>"Please. You promised that you wouldn't leave again," Declan said and had tears in his eyes. Emily pushed back the hair that fell down in front of his eyes.</p><p>"We'll see. Your dad still has legal custody of you. But, if you wanted to, Georgetown has a lacrosse team. You can come live with me when you start college--"</p><p>"Yes!" Declan said and threw his arms around Emily. The woman laughed as he held onto her. "I'll do everything I can to get a scholarship, mom. I promise."</p><p>"Okay," Emily said and shook her head as she smiled. The two pulled away from each other as Emily wiped away her son's tears of both joy and happiness. "I love you so much."</p><p>"I love you too, Mom."</p><p>Spencer: "The only love that I really believe in is a mother's love for her children." Karl Lagerfeld.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm gonna break y'all's hearts tomorrow ripppp😁</p><p>i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always it'd mean to world to me if you guys let me known what you thought! (: </p><p>Also Emily Prentiss and Jennifer Jareau are canon sushi lovers, I will die on this hill ‼️ - salem🤍</p></blockquote></div></div>
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